I have a good mate who is married to a non-Thai woman. Although separated by several continents she has many of the same values as a Thai woman. They were having dinner one night with a farang couple. My mate’s wife offhandedly mentioned that sometimes when her husband gets home from work she’ll pour a basin of water and wash his feet.
The farang woman was aghast. She, in her self-righteous zeal, berated the wife for being subservient. She told her she should more pride in herself and not allow herself to be treated like a slave.
The wife, biting her tongue as best she could, told the farang woman that she doesn’t do it because he expects her to. For her it is a way of showing appreciation. Her husband provides for her very well and they own several beautiful homes. She wants for nothing. She went on to tell the farang that her husband is a loving and caring man who attends to her emotionally as well as financially and that she loves him very much. She asked why it should seem so strange to do something for her husband that he finds relaxing and enjoying.
Like I said, she was biting her tongue as best she could but her feelings were eventually betrayed in her last sentence on the topic. "Perhaps if you Western women showed your husbands some respect and appreciation for being a good husband the divorce rate in your country wouldn’t be over 50%."
This interaction is a perfect illustration of why so many farang men fall in love with Thai women. It also serves to illustrate why so many farang women simply cannot grasp why farang men seem to prefer Thai women. The farang women think they know but they are as wrong as first timer to Thailand who can’t see past the Thai smile.
Farang women, generally, think that farang men are attracted to Thai women is because they are submissive. They think the men are attracted because they can get a girlfriend half their age. They think that the men are attracted to the tight little Asian bodies.
The farang woman is correct but only to a certain degree. Yes, men are attracted to those things but there’s more to it than just that. Farang men also want to feel appreciated and respected. Yet, as the story told above demonstrates your average farang woman would never lower themselves. Farang women cherish their equality too much to do something that seems to them to be so one-sided.
However there’s an inequality in most farang / farang relationships. By that I mean that when you weigh all of the tangible and intangible qualities each party brings to the relationship the man, generally, is bringing more to the table than the woman. For instance, in few farang / farang marriages does the husband earn less than the wife. Likewise, you’re far more likely to find an attractive man married to an average looking woman than to find an attractive woman married to an average looking man. There are no absolutes here but just going by the numbers this is more true than not.
So you have these inequalities in most relationships. I know that’s a hard pill for some people to swallow but one only need to look at the number of men who graduate with degrees in economics, mathematics, computer science, medicine, and the other hard sciences vs. the number of women. Men, just going by the numbers, are more likely to be the higher earner. So right from the starting blocks you have an income discrepancy between the two. In order for the relationship to equalize she needs to bring something of the same value to the relationship.
Unfortunately, Western women cherish the concept of equality too much. Tell a secretary making £30,000 a year that she needs to bring something extra to the table in order to marry a software engineer making £60,000 and, rightly or wrongly, she’ll accuse you of being a chauvinist. So men just tend to accept that as part of life. Tradition says that their job is to be the primary earner so they accept it unquestioningly.
But there’s a catch. Even though, traditionally, that means that the woman should shoulder more of the household chores and generally try to provide a good home life for her husband who has been fulfilling his traditional role, many farang women feel that that role is outdated and beneath them. Whether that is true or not is not for me to answer but in one way or the other the woman has to bring things back to balance or the relationship simply isn’t going to work. Perhaps she’s much more attractive than her husband. That might even things out. Maybe she’s a wildcat in the sack. That might balance things out. Maybe she knows just when and just how to stroke her husband’s ego. Maybe that’s what evens things out. I don’t know what it is as it will be different for different couples but without the balance the relationship is doomed.
I believe this is why you often see so much hostility directed at farang women by farang men who have been fortunate enough to have a relationship with a Thai woman. Even if they don’t fully realize it consciously, it dawns on them that they’ve been getting the short end of the stick in most relationships. And like finding out your girlfriend has been sleeping around on you behind your back the farang man feels humiliated for being taken for such a fool. His rage is often so out of proportion with the actual damage done that he dismisses all farang women as . . . . well, I could list several derogatory terms here but I’ll allow the reader to fill in his/her own.
Personally, I don’t hate farang women. I don’t date them very often nowadays but I don’t hate them. I do prefer to date Thai women. Not for the reasons that most farang women might think but because Thai women tend to try to balance out the relationship. Obviously you cannot talk about an entire sex and not have exceptions. There are Thai women who’s mind set is more like the farang women I’ve described and there are farang women who have an outlook more like the Thai women I describe. That’s why I try to steer clear of making sweeping statements and say things like "tend to" or "normally."
It’s funny because most farang men have brainwashed themselves into believing many of the same things as farang women. I guess it’s natural since we come from the same culture. I remember the first time it really struck me. She was Thai with a good job, had a post-graduate degree, and was certainly not the poor farmer’s daughter stereotype. We were having dinner and when the food arrived she served me and then herself. When my water glass was half empty (or half full depending on how you look at it) she would fill it.
I was a little uncomfortable with that so I indicated she didn’t need to serve me. She insisted gently saying "You relax. I take care of you." As I thought about it, it made sense. If she likes you then demonstrating that she can be a good girlfriend or wife is very important to her. It would be the same as a guy holding a door open or pulling the seat out for his date. This is her way of saying that she likes me and that this is one of the qualities she intends to bring to the relationship.
Perhaps farang women will think she was being subservient but I thought of it as part of the dance we call dating. I show my ability to provide by taking her to a nice place to eat and she reciprocates by demonstrating that she can be a caring girlfriend. If anything, instead of viewing it as an act of weakness, as being subservient would imply, I viewed it as a sign that she was not the type of woman who would only take from the relationship without giving back. Obviously, a respectable quality.
Now if one contrasts that with a normal farang / farang date you start to recognize how the whole relationship imbalance manifests itself. It’s very difficult for a woman to screw up on a date unless she doesn’t show up, passes out drunk, or belches at the table. It’s hard for her to screw up the date because she is not the one auditioning. The man is primarily the one who is auditioning. So on a normal farang / farang date the man is expected to demonstrate all of the qualities that he can bring into the relationship and the woman will either approve (agree to a second date) or disapprove (decline a second date) without ever revealing her hand.
On a farang / Thai date both the man and woman are auditioning equally. This is true equality and I find it refreshingly honest which is why I prefer to date Thai women. When I date a Thai woman I feel as if I actually have some control over the situation. It is as much up to her to impress me as it is for me to impress her. I don’t want to say it makes you feel as if you have more power than you do in a farang / farang relationship but it’s the difference between a job interview where the company has specifically recruited you because of your unique talents and a job interview after you’ve been laid off during a recession. In one you feel like you’re in a position of control. If the company wants you then they need to demonstrate that they can provide you with the working environment and compensation that you feel entitled to. In the other scenario you’re just happy to have gotten the interview. You know what you think you’re worth but the phone isn’t exactly ringing off the hook so you’ll probably take whatever they offer even if it’s not what you think is fair.
One needs to look no farther than romantic imagery in the media to see how imbalanced the relationship process is in farang / farang relationships. How does a man show he loves a woman? He buys her roses, chocolates, diamonds, gold, and other gifts. If he’s truly the romantic type he does something huge like fly her off to Paris for an amorous holiday. How does a woman show she loves her husband? Well if we are to believe the media representation of farang / farang relationships then a peck on the cheek might be ample reward for those chocolates. Giving him sex might be the payoff for a diamond ring or a Paris holiday.
The idea of a man constantly showing his wife with gifts and affection is seen as romantic. The idea of a woman who showers her husband with signs of affection is seen as weak and of low self-esteem. In fact, if we’re to believe the media then the best gift a wife can give her husband is to leave him alone. How is the husband rewarded for mowing the lawn and taking care of the manly household chores? He’s allowed to watch football on television. What is the husband’s reward for taking his wife out to go see a "chick flick" which bored him to tears? He gets to go hang out with his mates for a boys night out.
Better yet, can you imagine seeing on television a show where after taking his wife out for a very expensive and romantic dinner his wife offered to give him a foot massage? Not the rub your big toe and then try to have sex type of massage but a proper hour long foot massage? Yet it would seem normal if a woman comes home from an exhausting day at the office, kicks off her shoes, and her husband massages her feet as she explains everything she’s been through that day. We call that kind of man romantic. In fact, that is the message that Western media promotes. Men being subservient to women is romantic and women being subservient to men is chauvinistic.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to say that love with a farang woman can’t be found or that you can’t find a farang woman who won’t jump through hoops to make the relationship as equal as possible but it’s much rarer in the Western world than in Thailand. From a social point of view this change in how equality has only occurred over the last 50 or 60 years. Back then you had housewives who took pride in performing their traditional roles. Interestingly, according to the University of Maryland, between 1950 and 2000 the number of divorces per 1000 women married more than doubled. Also of note is that the highest rate of divorce was during the 1970′s when women’s activism was at it’s peak. That’s obviously not enough data to make any sort of direct correlation but this blog post isn’t a PhD thesis so allow me some latitude.
And just as I’m not saying that finding love with a farang woman is impossible, I’m also not saying that Thai women are a piece of cake either. In addition to things like language and cultural issues you also have people who just don’t possess the qualities you look for in a partner and/or possess personality defects. I’ve dated more than a few girls who I hope to never see again even as a friend.
The bottom line is that I don’t agree with the people who think all farang women are fat, whining, bitches nor do I agree with the people who say that any man who dates a Thai woman is doing so for the sex, subservient attitude, or because he’s too much of a loser to find women back in the West. There are some very valid reasons why guys like to date Thai women and there are some very valid reasons why they don’t want to date Western women. It’s all about what we hope to find in a relationship. For instance, I have a mate I’ve known for well over 20 years. I’ve seen him go through countless relationships. The only long-term relationships he seems to have are with women who are controlling and dominating. He likes to be a bad boy. When he’s with submissive women he runs right over them. When he runs into a woman who wants to control him and tame him that is when he is the most happy. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work for me at all. I could never date the type of women he dates and he would never have a meaningful relationship with a Thai girl. We’re just wired differently.
That holds true for all men. There are some of us who aren’t satisfied with the type of women we meet in the West. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with those women. They just need to find someone who’s looking for that personality type. For us unsatisfied men, there are aspects of Thai culture that produce women who we’re more compatible with. Different strokes for different folks.
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A man just wants a woman who is woman enough to let him be himself.
I like many different types of women. I have known one Thai woman who pampered me. She cooked for me, cut my hair, bathed me, massaged me. And I loved every minute of it.
But I also like independent women. However I think modern American independent women simply lack the ability to care for anyone. Personally I enjoy massaging women, cooking for them. Giving them a sponge bath maybe not…and no woman in her right mind would let me cut her hair.
I mean to say that women AND men should care for each other. Give AND receive. If I get older and I have nto found a smart, educated independent woman who is capable of caring for her man (me), I will probably get a Thai or some other Asian or Latina wife who is poor (assuming I have a successful career and money).
It can be both ways. I agree with what the article says. If I work all day and support my wife, she is at home all day, then I expect her to do more pampering of me than I of her. There needs to be balances in any relationship.
But I pour water for everyone at the table. Feminists need to check themselves.
On my recent holiday in Phuket I meet a wonderful mature Thai Lady and see spent just over a week with me. We both knew that this was not permanant but she treated me wonderfully and she explained that I was paying for everything for her so she was going to see that I was relaxed, happy and content.
I had never been washed by another person since I was a child but this marvellous lady washed me, pampered me and treated me in a way I had never had from two Farang wives.
I am still writting to this wonderful lady who by the way is university educated and employed in a very good job.
In the future I hope that we can be together permenantly but only if I can provide the support and lifestyle that she deserves.
Once you been to Thailand you can never go back to Western women.
@Darren once you go to Thailand all you will ever want is WESTERN WOMEN!
ALL women are bitches, but Thai ladies are the least bitchy of them all.
There IS something different about Thai women. I have been with a few Asian women of different countries and of course a few western ones. Thai ladies have something sexy built in. I can almost swear they have some genetic thing going on! Of course there are some Thai bitches out there but the majority are wonderful. They understand that if you take care of them they will do the same for you. Western women, generally speaking, on the other hand are always saying: what else can you, the man, do for me? I am still not happy and I will use sex, or lack of, to get my way!!!
Excellent article…
I have just met thai girl whom I really like, and this just confirms why I been looking thousands of km’s for love!!
Western women just aren’t feminine!!
Make sure it is love not money love!!!!
For me, I chose not fall in love any woman. They are all emotional and they live in their own wolrd of denial. But I treat all my women with respect, love and with true care. I take care of their needs and they do the same.
You open your heart to them and you are in a world of hurt!
Very fair and well-written piece. I especially like and agree with the notion about the fundamental imbalance of farang-farang relationships now.
If you want to hurt a Thai girl then you say “you don’t take good care of me”. Tell that to a farang women and they’d just snigger. They literally don’t give a damn, and even if they did most wouldn’t even know how to take care of a guy anymore … cook? huh? keep house? what’s that?
A long time ago I made a real effort over a long period of time to try to understand western women and why they acted the way they did… read books etc etc. The more I learnt the more disenchanted I became, and the more I recognised their essentally selfish, hypocritical, and spoilt princess ways of being. But then ask them (as I did) whether they had read about men and the male perspective … and they looked at me like I had asked them if they had tried to speak dog language. The mentality seems to be “our way is right, yours is wrong, so why should we bother trying to understand your perspective?”
Well I’ve since voted with my feet and married a Thai, am very happy with my new life. I wish the very best of luck to the guys who think farang women are worth the trouble, because in my experience nowadays they rarely ever are.
The problem in the west is supply and demand. There are too few women to too many so called men. Hence the women are always in high demand and they get what they want most of the time. A lot of men in the west have lost their balls and have no guts to stand up to their women. Western men, generally speaking, are sex starved and the their women can stay without sex longer than the men can.
I think in Asia you have quite the apposite sitaution and since Asian women like Farangs, the men have better luck at finding a nice Thai girl to take care of them. After all, most, not all, Thai men do not take care of their women!
The way I see it, to each their own, if a guy wants a slave for a wife, then they should go for it. As a western woman I say good riddance, it helps us weed out the guys that are worthwhile from those who aren’t. And trust me girls there’s guys out there who appreciate a girl who earns her own money, has her own opinions, and takes care of herself, I’ve met one and we are getting married in a couple of months.
Thank you Travelsnapper for contributing that tired old clique, that western guys are only attracted to Asian women because they are submissive. But you left out “and because they are threatened by the independence of western women”. Yup sure.
Firstly most Thai women aren’t submissive. They are true partners in the household. They are willing to dovetail with and complement the role of the husband, rather than make every situation into a competition, conflict or some tiresome & never-ending bizarre mind-game.
Secondly I (and I would say the vast majority of my peers) like and appreciate independance and assertiveness in women. What I don’t like is bad-manners, selfishness, zero sense of fairness, and a seeming inability to even countenance the notion that their own attitudes and actions might be part of a problem that needs fixing.
Traveling photographer:
I agree with you.
I prefer Thai women solely because I like exciting sex and a farang woman my age (even remotely near) is just not attractive to me in any erotic way.
In addition I can pick and choose what ladies I prefer, when, where…..
I am not interested in a deep emotional relationship with one woman, but I’m not into “short-time” either.
A friendly occasional continuing customer/lady relationship does it for me.
I do “interview” a girl who attracts me. (could I put that a more sensitive way?) and make a reasonable deal if I feel she is a warm, friendly and fun person (many are, many aren’t). It is a lot nicer for both people if you know and like each other a bit.
About half of the time a “date” can lead to further encounters, if I choose….some never get beyond my threshold the first night.
I have several such part-time girls going presently (they change now and then) and have had for quite a while.
Its perfect for me and the main reason I live in Thailand.
If I want my feet rubbed I pay to have it done. Feels pretty good too.
I’m waaay past the delusion that these Thai women, who are absolute dolls in my eyes, and half my age or younger, have any real romantic interest in me. And I discuss that openly with them. I hear about their lives, their families, their Thai or farang boyfriends, their dreams. Everybody’s happy when they can be themselves. If one were (however unlikely) to actually fall for me… I’m afraid she’s in the wrong business and made a mistake I can’t help her with.
Besides, I have yet to meet any Thai woman who is remotely intellectually compatible with me, or for that matter compatible in any meaningful way.
And I’m not sweating it either.
I do, btw, speak a fair amount of Thai and I think the perils of the language/communication factor are far under-rated. I am amazed at how little even educated Hi-so Thais who speak great English (I know many) really pick up in a conversation. The same must be true of my Thai. That alone makes the whole relationship dynamic completely different than in our farang-only world.
I don’t even go there.
I find mine a very adventurous, interesting and entertaining life-style. Unfortunately I’m just a poor working guy or I’d be having even more fun.
If I were a twenty-something stud-boy I expect I’d be enjoying both Thai and farang women my age. But that’s not the case.
As for “hate farang women”…. It never enters my mind at all to hate farang women, or anybody for that matter. In fact farang women have nothing to do with it as far as I’m concerned.
There is no place for hate in my life.
Oh and while we’re dealing with cliques. How about the one that “thai women are only with western guys for their money”? Hmm, well let’s explore that one with a farang case-study. Nothing xceptional about this story – it just happens to be one of the more recent in my own network of friends and associates.
My mate Dave (not it’s not me!) got divorced from his grinning blonde wife. He never set a foot wrong in his marriage, never strayed, always did the vast bulk of the shopping and housework (incl. cooking!). All while holding down a very high level stressful job.
They had two kids but his wife had the opportunity to work if she wanted (they had househelp and the kids went to care early on). She chose not to & never contributed one cent to the household budget. But boy could she spend. That included trips away by herself to stay in health spas, long lunches with girlfriends at upmarket restaurants, etc etc.
Anyway she managed to hold on until he built and furnished his dream home (multi-million) and then announced that “I don’t love you anymore” and “when can you move out?”. Fast forward beyond counselling and lawyers, him going onto anti-depressants, and all the rest. His settlement included payments to her for (I think) 12 months on top of 1/2 house and child support and lots more.
Can you believe that she then had the gall – after her last payment – to ask him if he could keep the payments going for a while because she wanted to do a yoga course rather than get a job?
In this and most other cases the guy had all or most of his assets before he even met the woman … how does the law justify the female then being automatically deserving of at least 50% of all assets? Oh that’s right, the same biased legal framework that robs a guy of the right to demand a DNA test when HE is hit with a demand for child support – payment for years into the future.
So how many times have I heard of western women … who as well all know are with guys for love and not their money … in a divorce situation saying “no, I don’t want 50%+ of your assets, that wouldn’t be fair?”.
Oh, let’s think for a moment … that right, NEVER
I know a farang who had a Thai wife some 10 years ago.
He bought her a farm, built her a fine house for the family and furnished her with two cars… nine million Bt total.
Then he “fell out of love” with her and left the her for another woman. He let her have the house and all. She was twenty at the time.
He had occasion 9 years later to be near her village up north and, always being fond of her, decided to take a ride over and see how she was doing.
He said she looked 10yrs older than 29, and was 10 kilo heavier. She had lost the house, cars and everything else to the loan-shark mafia to feed her gambling and drinking habits. She was back at the original family hut/house…a pathetic drunken shadow of herself.
“She didn’t have a goddamned thing, was total waste and hardly remembered me”, he said. “What could I do?”.
I’ve always wondered if it was his fault or hers.
is it possible that after wester men have lost milions and milions of bath and lost houses and cars and may be also lost house in his country to spend money in thailand, still not understand that all, all what thai women do, cut finger, massage you, smile and so on is only a part of blackmail culture used with farangs (thai men not so stupid) still exist masochist men who believe in thai love? can still exist such stupidity? i wish i had one dollar for each farangs has been cheated by thai woman and i could buy a new ferrari,,,,
in thailand no money=fuck off,
how long does it take to understand it?
I THINK THIS BANGKOK DIARIES IS PROVING STUPIDITY OF FARANGS AND HOW MODERATOR USE ALL THIS STUPID MEN FOR HIS RIDICULOUS BLOGS
why in thai webside you dont understand thai thai women are mostly with farangs after thei thai men divorce and have younger girls and live their wives with childreen and debts?
This are the only girls who farangs can have, because no thai men is interested to support a thai woman with childreen and financial problems. they just leave their wives for younger girls and then come the farangs to naively marry them and solve the problems their ex husbands dont care.
I dont think there are situations differents that that…farangs just marry second hands women with problems and nothing else, no real love, just accomodation and financial interests, the rest in bullshit
At the risk of upsetting a few people this is my take on farangs marrying, or having a relationship, with Thai women:
First of I would say that most of the stories you read on blogs like these are, most often, the bad stories. Farangs in successful relationships with Thai woman hardly ever feel the need to write about their relationshp; what’s the point if they’re happy. The other thing is that, just like mainstream media, it’s usually only bad news that sells. That, in itself, is a sad reflection of the world in general; that we’re only interested in looking for the negative and, just like moths being drawn to an isolated lamp at night, we seemed to revel in the misfortune of others. A sad state of affairs really.
We have one poster stating that farangs naively marry Thai ladies with chidren from a previous relationship with a thai man. Naively? perhaps not so much as you would like to think. From what I’ve seen most farang marrying Thai ladies, who are single mothers, are fully aware of the fact the the woman they’re about to tie the knot with have children. The fact is that you can’t criticize the ladies; it’s plainly obvious that they have children and that they’re looking for financial support. I would surmise, almost gaurantee, that everyone of those farangs, going into a relationship with such a woman, is fully aware of her personal situation. So why would they go ahead with such a liaison? The fact is that it’s a combination of factors really but the primary ones are desperation, emotional weakness and the inability to handle being alone. I’m sorry, but that’s what it’s really about. The woman that they marry are just taking advantage of those factors; one cannot blame them because they are just trying to survive. If more farang, living here, would stop wearing their hearts on their sleeves and use their brain, instead of their penis to do their thinking, we’d see alot less negative stories on blogs like these.
please show me a list of happy farangs and how long happy and i show you a list of 99% of farangs with problems with thai wives…
show me a thai woman who marry a farang and not have childreen and family to support
show me a thai woman who marry farang who dont ask quickly to buy new house …and so on
possible that are still sleeping naive farangs (also who write above) who does not understand how thai culture and thai love is?
again….also happy couple about farangs and thai wife, they are happy as long as farangs keep payng and support all family and more…who can prove me the opposite?
If somebody ca, then i believe that elephant can fly
The problem is that Farangs are brain washed by their western upbringing to accept women for who they are; older, children, stretch marks, and other problems. So to the Farang man, this situation is not much different than back home. Actually is is a bit better, because they get good sex and attention from the Thai women.
Thai men on the other hand, have an endless supply of young and beautiful girls and they, the Thai men, treat them like shit most of the time (generally speaking) and if the Thai girl does not like it, well the Thai man will drop her like a hot potato and get another one…quickly too!
ant45: I do agree with you that most Thai/farang relationships I’ve seen in Thailand are mainly about the money, money, money. The point I was trying to make with that observation though is that no one forces the farang into such a situation where he is simply a walking ATM for his Thai woman and her family. At the end of the day the decision to get married, or be in a relationship, with a Thai lady that’s just using him for an economic leg up in life is the choice of the farang, and his alone.
but what Megalithic wrote is just an indirect confirmation of my opinions…
besides, mostly farangs in thailand are old pensionist (that is all whay thai women can get from western men) and many have been married also 30 years or more before coming to thailand and then hate farangs women,,,,hahaha, can you think they could live 30 years with thai women? after sex, no conversation, always same smile like burning paper and all life thai wife world champions in scroonger…what happynes is it when you are with a wife only for sex and pay all her family for that and after sex no conversation about anything, not only for usual language problems, but because thai women have no conversation at all, only laugh smile and always pretending….i like to see which farangs have been 30 years married with thai woman and if so, then one in a thousend…
farangs cannot hate farangs women if have been married so many years and discover easy sex (only for money) in Thailand, they should hate themselves for thei stupidity to marry in a country where they are only used financially.
thai women after divorce and childreen, not get money from husband and if not work for government, they get only 500 bath monthly pension and prostitution (may be under different name) brings to thai state about 13% of national product…so easy to see how happy thai people are…state not pay them and farangs are very very useful for thai economy…what else?
Some of what was said above is correct. The Farang financial contribution, whether in tourism, entertainment, or in managing businesses, to the Thai economy is essential in keeping Thailand from bankruptcy
ant45: many good points there and I agree with what you say. However, I still maintain that the choice to be in a relationship with a thai lady, or not, is that of the farang. Admittedly, from my own experience of being here for 18 yrs, it’s actually a poor choice but, realistically, no one forces them to be in a relationship here.
Perhaps they are blinded by lust or just feeling lonely and desperate, who knows? Many guys can’t handle being alone. But as I’ve said to many friends in Bangkok, who say they couldn’t handle being alone, loneliness, and being alone, are not the same thing. One is a state of mind and the other is a state of being.
I’m finding I enjoy life far more by being single here. I’ve tried the dating web sites and it always comes back to the same thing; the ladies are never up front about their intentions; there’s alaways some sort of hidden agenda. Quite a few don’t declare, initially, that they’ve got children and the fact is that all of them are looking for “someone take care me.” These days I’ve got a standard opening line: “I’m not interested in getting married I just want to go for dinner and have some sex, up to you.” Most of them can’t handle it and they get angry. But the fact is it let’s them know where they stand and if they want to put out then it’s up to them. Most of the time when I want some company for the night I just go to a night club and pick up a freelancer. Thailand, the best place in the world to live if you’re a single man, lol.
well, i also must admit that thailand is nice place to live especially if our incom is not enough to confortable life in our countryes, just enjoy relax eat and so on and why not? thai women are great sex lover, they enjoy only sex and money and when they make love, they have no tabu and we have good reason to enjoy….
the problems is when we continue the relation and believe in more than sex….then is just stupidity and naivity and most farangs believe about true love of their wives, I mean of their temporary wives and dont realize that love in thailand is just a word used with extreeme superficiality…money is love…sex is love and beyond that is nothing…
but if you want to make money in thailand, just film the couple, farangs tall fat very old with disgusting skin and figure and walking like if made of stone, and gracious small pretty smiling lovely sexy walking thai women and you can make a film out of it and it will have much much more success than mr. Bean…..
So, you guys think that Thai Women have the answer? Let me ask you, did your women bear your children? Now, they have had their bodies physically changelled – did YOU know – stupid ass?. NO, you did not. Then you think OH, so what, the years made her fat -non appealing. YOU selfish bastard! How would you like it if that had happen to you. Maybe it probably has, and You go to Thailand to live your unrealistic fantasy. Here is was most women think of your type. You are a trades worker. You think that while women cost too much money and are too demading ( financially and emotionallty – I’m I right thus far?
Did You ever stop to look at yourself? Here is what Thai women think of YOU!!
MONEY,MONEY,MONET,MONEY, MONEY – and way down at the bottom of the survey – is guess what??? LOVE.
You stupid idiots!!!!
@Nancy: You fail to understand the point.
First off, you started off talking about bodies. Thai women give birth too! Many men marry and stay faithful to their Thai wives. Many end up having relationships with women who have already had children with a previous Thai husband or boyfriend.
Secondly, there’s absolutely nothing selfish about wanting to be treated equally in a relationship . . . which is what this post is about.
That’s all that I really demand of in a relationship, respect and equality. I want to feel appreciated. Unfortunately, that is something that is getting sucked out of the western style of relationships.
Think about it this way, if I showed you a scene from a movie where a woman was sitting at a bar and some guy came over and tried to talk to her and she turned around and said, “Fuck off asshole! I’m not interested,” that would seem totally normal. We would all get a good chuck out of her putting that bar fly in his place.
Now, let’s say that a guy is sitting alone at a bar and a woman comes over and starts trying to chat with him and he says, “Fuck off you cunt,” would you have the same reaction? Would that be funny?
Of course not. People would say that his behavior was completely uncalled for. After all the lady was simply trying to strike up a conversation. His behavior was totally uncalled for.
But when the woman did it to the guy, nobody has a problem with that. As a society we expect it. We glamorize it in film and television.
That’s the inequality and disrespect that I’m talking about. In Thailand it’s still rude for a woman to speak like that. Not because it’s disrespectful to speak to men like that, but because it’s disrespectful to speak to any other human like that.
Why is it so wrong for men to want to be treated respectfully? Why do women feel so threatened that there are other women out there who will treat me with respect?
And do you think farang women think about anything more than money, money, money? Why is it that your way of insulting us was to call us a “trade worker”? You must find trade workers to be below your level so you use the term as an insult.
Well, fuck you. There are millions of trade workers out there. People who build your homes and make sure your lights stay on. They do their jobs and all they ask in return is a little common courtesy.
That’s what this post is about. It’s telling men that they don’t have to put up with this bullshit anymore. If they want to jump on a plane and come to Thailand and meet women who will treat a tradesman as nicely as she would treat a white colar worker, they can.
The funny part is you saying that Thai women are looking at money, money, money. Farang women are just as money hungry as you attempt to portray Thai women. In fact, I would say that it’s worse because western standards are so much higher.
But the most telling part of any of this is, why the fuck do you care? Why do you care if Thai women only love me for my money (which I don’t believe to be true, but you do)? Why does it upset you so much? Why speak about Thais in such a derogatory manner? Why are we all poor, old, balding, fat, pathetic losers?
Why? Because the ad hominem attack is the only tool you have. If farang women were so obviously superior to Thai women you could easily list the differences. Instead you try to paint all the men and pathetic losers and the women as money grubbing whores.
forget boring billi bangkok, (really bangkok is your name) so boring that you read first words and you know all his 1000 letters contents…
for thai women old farangs are good looking and young as long as they spend money for them and for their huge family, but if you just mention that you dont agree (no freedom of opinion at all) with their culture which is blackmail to scroonge farangs, then ytou are not young antmore, they offend you and tell you, fuck off old man!!!!
Discuss about hate farangs women and love thai women is such stupidity…
the evidence that thai women (number one prostitution country in the world)
are only looking for stupid farangs to use for their only economic reason is just in front of you….and thai women to have your money are willing to open legs also to dracula and if he pay good and support her family, dracula 500 years old) is also young and handsome,,,,
yes sometime they are happy with farangs, same as dog are happy when they always get food, but if you stop giving them food, they might bite you…
i think (apart billy bangkok fantasy) that thailand is a very good place to fuck cheap and go…. nothing else…..the all world is aware of that, only poor farangs victim need big disappointment (soon or later arrive to all farangs) before realising of that….
@ant45: Well, obviously you’ve been bitten by a bar girl. You are a good laugh though. Unfortunately, that’s all you’re good for.
I have never been in a bar in thailand, I work as teacher for thai government
for sure admin is speaking about himself.
so as long as there are supposition like this, thai women continue their scrooger behaviour blackmail….I think this webside should change name:
“why farangs in thailand are so stupid and thai women so clever”
Have you expressed your views about what scum Thai women are with your employers? I’m sure they would love to know that you think all Thai women are prostitutes.
What the hell is “scrooger”? Is that a word you made up?
i see that in the town i live, all farangs married thai women who met at bars and at least 90% of relations between farangs and thai women is about women who work at bar and is sensless to object this just to continue useless polemic
thailand has the highest number of prostitutes in trhe world according to google and also according to visitors in thailand, milions of bars and not for cappuccino or glass of milk…
at the end, prostitute or not, all thai women see in a farang just opportunity to
money and they goo all the way for it
call it prostitute or with other name, they only use farangs for their interest, sex included
Well, first off, if you actually did google for the stats you would see countries like Costa Rica, Israel (according to CNN), and many others being thrown around for the country with the most prostitutes. So, I hope your government job doesn’t involve doing any sort of research since you seem inept at it.
Also, as I first questioned, have you been burned by a Thai girl? You have waaaaay too much anger and bitterness not to have been ripped off by some girl.
i love thailand for my work and because to live in thailand is very convenient…
I play tennis for 400 bath a month and swim for 30 bath a day, food very convenient, good and cheap, very little criminality to compare with western countries, nice nature and in winter is warm, while in europe where i com from, is cold. Rent a condo is very very cheap, as well as rent a house or live at resort or hotel and thai people make you feel good because they smile (also if only poorpeople smile…rich people very very seldom)….also sex is very very cheap and not dangerous at all, even if honestly, i never go with them because I have my gf from Prague (almost 6 feet tall 60 kg weight red blond and smiling even more than thai women), but if we farangs who to thailand for sex or (or to love…if you like better this word), then is all very much different, because thai women are not only sweet cute pretty, nice skin and hair, they are alse comedians liers, use word like thai culture for blackmail and they try marry a farang for economic reason only. so is not important how old you are and how bad looking you might be, you are judged by your wallet and you will be used like a atm card all life…as long as you do give them money, buy them house and car and support their family which is composed of 100 people (sisters brothers chlildreen parents and so on) and if you stop supporting them all, also if you continue support your thai wife, then you are bad man, ugly man old fat and in other words automatically they switch from swee smiling, into real bitches just to demostrate that love is only is only money and nothing else.
Google might be not precise and it is true that also other countries can compete with thailand in numbers of prostitutes, but not to admit that thailand is a country in the world leading in prostitution, is just like to deny that picailly is in London or that the eifel tower is in paris and not to admit that a very very huge quantity of farangs who married thai women because hate farangs women and consider thai women better just like in many comments here, are now damaged and sucked all their money by their thai wife, to deny that is like to deny that you exist…best for this webside would be not to continue justify thay women of their behaviour, but inform farangs who go to thailand for first time, to be very carefull about women in case they decide for a long relation….thai women are too clever for avarage farangs…..
thai women also love sex very much and when farangs is old, they get tired of him also if he does not realize of that….they have easily sex with younger or same age thai men and farangs is too naive to realize…at the other side they play jalous when their husbands try have sex with other women, they are very jalous, but not for love reason, but because they are afraid that farangs will spend his money with another woman…
I speak thai pretty well and I listen discussion about thai women married with farangs who have sex with thai men and they do it so cleverly that if you dont understand thai, you could never believe it…
thai television is full of love story, but only amongst thai people and farangs are only mention as people with money who only always pay…
that thailand is sex industry country, should already be a visit card of the country and about thai beauty, 150 to 155 and 40 to 50 kg is their weight and size is far away from western beauty……but if you like eat pinuts and they feed you better than t bone steck…
for all this reason is very good to live in Thailand
noooo i did not discuss it with my employer, but mention to have a look at google and i also mention to have a look at google about who is the richest person in the world? and is thailand sex industry? In both case was google to answer not me, i also showe to be surprised that thailand according google is a sex industry country and that the richest man in the world is the King of Thailand and that a thai person when retire, his pension is of 500 bath a month (16 us dollars),,,how can i tell all this to my mployer when Thailand is officially still a ditactur Country? I am not so stupid to tell true and have big trouble. A farang (I dont mention nationality) got 16 years jail because damaged the photo of the king and 2 us girls got 30 years prison because were going to Puket for just holiday and at airport the thai custon discovered some hasish in their purse…of course I dont say that to my employer…would you do it….may be in a free democratic country yes, but not there…you are right i did not ask my employer…happy now?
….i understand that whenyou are in an other country you , you must respect rules and regulations…but 16 years for dagaging photo of the king and 30 years for few gr of hasis for personal use, seems a little too much!!!!
and all that was reported at newspapers and also possible verify at internet.
In Laos for example, the law is even worse, the police can force you to pay also up to 10,000 us dollars fine (may be depending on cases) or prison, in case you take a laos woman in hotel or in her house)for sex…and just with any girl, no matter if she ask you to…. in thailand may be they put in prison if you dont take a woman in hotel for sex they would think that you are not normal…. hahaha ….(joke)
Yes great to see the odd guy who has been guided by his thingy way back and got bitten then bitter and blaming it all on the Thai girls, also the dreary British women who squirm at the very thought of a guy enjoying the pleasures of the fine young brown girls here in Thailand, I used to send my ex witch of good old England some very tasteful snaps of my girly friends and me here in Thailand, I could hear her seethe from all this way, revenge is sweet.
I opened my pc and saw message from this webside and saw Damm write something, i did not waste my time and deleted his message, i swear I dont read when I am sure is just about nonsense….no reason to write and reply my messages, do it for the other, , my time is very important and cannot be wasted for high nonsenses
Love it, Love it.
i dont look at this webside, because is only nonsenses and nothing else, so I will not look into this webside and good luck to everybody and if some men will loose everything in thailand, also his pants and under pants, , dont worry, is just normal happening there…..naive persons deserve it
so bye bye , I teach at college and no time for stupidity
I guess you don’t teach Philosophy or English.
I want a the women to be the primary bread earner, and for me to be a stay at home dad. Is this possible with the values of a Thai women? I guess I want both to have my cake and eat it too. Anyone else? I’m not against working. I can work, do part time jobs, or full time and make a decent income. But I like the idea that the women is also has good income (or income potential) and is okay with the idea of being (and capable of being) the ‘primary bread earner.”
Yes think outside the box, the day of the normal boring marriage is well over and do what suits you best, I was a young man a few years ago and brain washed to go to school, get a job, get married, have children and live happily ever after, once I realised it was just a myth I started to live life for me which has been a new adventure ever since and far more exciting than the last.
Generally speaking, All women want stability and a roof over their heads. This means Money. All men want to populate earth any way they can. This means having Sex with a woman. There have been many Discovery studies about this shit. It is all about the way humanity works.
Yes, I truly believe that MOST Thai women look at Farangs as Dollar signs only. They want the man to take care of them since, again mostly, the Thai man is not taking care of the Thai woman.
I think many new Farangs coming into Thailand have a huge misconception about the true feeling of the Thai ladies they take out, from bars and from any other place. It is all about money and status here in Thailand. If a Thai woman scores a rich Farang, then she had brought honor, fortune and money to her family and her village. I have heard so many Frangs talk about how “Innocent” these little Thai ladies are and that is is so scary. These Thai ladies have so many levels of deception that is unheard of in the western world. Having said that, the western woman can be just as bad as a Thai woman. The difference is that in the western world the men demands for women far exceeds the woman supply and hence the western woman can have an attitude and get away with it. In Thailand, there is a huge supply of Thai woman and the competition is high looking for a rich Thai man or a rich Farang man hence Thai women can’t afford to have an attitude.
No, I have not been heart broken by a Thai lady, that was done by the western woman and the western divorce legal system. I love Thai ladies who I pay for them to leave me at the end of the night after having a bunch of fun with them. The amount of fun and pleasure I get from Thai ladies is huge compared to the price I pay. The amount of pleasure I had with western women compared to the cost was 1000 times less. I have actually calculated how much money it cost me to sleep with my ex wife vs how much money it cost me to sleep with multiple young beautiful Thai ladies and I have to believe that most educated and/or intelligent people who are reading this will know which was cheaper!
No, I am not old, bald, ugly or a failure in my western country. I am a fairly handsome, educated with four degrees mid aged young man
and I make good money. I CHOOSE to be in Thailand and enjoy the women, the food and the culture. There are many men like me here who choose to have balls to leave their country looking for a better life, a life that THEY define not what their society defines!
Sure, there are those bald old men who come here also to have fun….they are human and worthy just like all of you! I see an old man with a big smile on his face walking next to a beautiful Thai lady…what the fuck is wrong with that?
nothing wrong with fuck in thailand, life so expensive here in western, but see old men with smile? must have opened his mouth because he met his dentist,
“there are those bald old men………” why did you see also young farangs? apart who are really on holiday? white flights for sure!!!! farangs choose thailand because all is cheaper and fuck is so very much cheap, which can become so much more expensive after thai woman fullfil his interest to marry and suck you and however expensive can be a western woman, thai woman will be more expensive because you must support her family, parents sisters brothers sons relative and he animals, then you should really make right calculations not now but after some year of marriage.
thai women get easy tired and bored, also of sex with same partner, so they do love your money and for sex they prefer young thai and young handsome farangs without secure incom are not interesting.
honestly if I were rich, i would find many places better and more beautiful than thailand and also better more beautiful more trustable women, but money decide very much about your interest
Nothing and I couldn’t agree more with you. It’s all about the money, money, money……
Anyway, good luck to you if you’re young, in shape and cashed up. The field is definitely more open to you than it is for the over fifties farang (me). I go down to Thong lor 15 quite regularly for a coffee and some of the Thai birds I see down the are really top notch – Hiso/model types. Most (not all) are with a young, well to do Thai bloke of course. Occaissionly I see a young, good looking farang with one of them and always can’t help thinking “you lucky fucker.” If I was that age I’d be targeting that model of Thai female as well. No such luck unfortunately – reality bites. Unless one is seriously cashed up – dollar millionaire plus – all we (the ordinary over 50′s farang) get are the leftovers. Sorry, but that’s what it is. We get the ones that the Thai blokes don’t want, lol.
just to acnowledge, i work and teach orthopedy phisiatry at royal navy hospital at Bangkok, I am not from english speaking country and therefeore my english is accettable as well as I speak thai,
I don’t really read all what you guys write, may be only few words, is always same boring line, what I know for very sure is that in Thailand is easy to easy to fuck any woman we (I for sure) want….so very easy fuck a woman from 18 up (less than 18 is only for sick men), again is too easy much too easy , very easy , just question of money and notheing else, again so very very easy,….I don’t see what is the need of many discussion…go to thailand, usually fool loaded of money and you can find a woman in on minute anytime you like and no matter age race look, just money…I would not really see why comment about thai women, they are just thai, nothing else
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