You can write all you want but I know who I am and what I represent. No stereotype or whatever is going to make me change.

Alpha refers to a quality of personality and not to any physical quality. This is how it’s used by the PUA types. In biology, Alpha simply means dominant male of the pack, with the question of what qualities – physical or psychological – got him there as a separate question.

I do in fact agree that women across cultures are attracted to the personality traits that make up an Alpha male, although I disagree with you that any male exhibiting these traits will be attractive to women regardless of his other traits. A thug or an idiot who is supremely confident will have SOME, relatively minor, ability to attract women via his confidence, but his other qualities will more than cancel that out to many women. Alpha personality traits, while important, are not the final word on male attractiveness. They are one very important component.

The PUA types have gotten hold of an important insight but then exaggerate it into an extreme that bears no relation to what goes on in the real world, like a scientist who has discovered some important principle which explains some corner of reality and then begins to think everything is explained by it. The view that emerges amongst the PUA types is seriously distorted. Educated Western women do NOT admire thugs.

Feminism and the anti-male mentality in the West IS a disgusting and seriously messed up state of affairs, no argument from me there, but it’s effect on males in the West is sometimes exaggerated as well. Science is beginning to show that most personality traits are highly heritable, including confidence, and only partly amenable to environment. A confident man in the West isn’t really gonna fall for the feminist bullshit he is exposed to growing up. It might take him a bit longer to throw off the yoke but eventually its impossible to really suppress ones personality. There are tons of guys in the West who might pay lip service to the idiotic feminist ideal but whose actual behavior towards women is miles removed from what that ideal recommends.

So yes, PUA stuff and living in Asia can for some guys bring out the degree of confidence they have had by nature, although it can’t transform them into unstoppable lotharios. And the PUA community is a big tent, with tons of stuff that is counterproductive and incredibly over-exaggerated side by side with some really useful advice – a lot of what they say is really, really off kilter -so while I can see that stuff helping someone develop his natural confidence with women, one can probably get a better effect from an effective self-esteem course. Despite all the “tricks” the PUA people recommend the only part of their repertoire which really works is the part that builds confidence – the rest is smoke, or worse.

Everything is about context, and your example of Asian men in the US being at the bottom of the chain nicely illustrates many points. Asian men are less confident, aggressive, and bold then Western men by nature, less Alpha so to speak, so if Alpha were the be all and end all of female attractiveness, Western men should be the more desired in Asia as well – yet in Asia, Asian men are more desired than Western men, because women care for things like status and social position as well as mere Alphaness, and Asians men have these in their own societies to the extent that Westerners, who come here as temporary adventurers at best, don’t. If Westerners settled in Asian countries en masse and established social credibility, things would change very rapidly.

I “put down” the Thailand ex-pat community, as you say, in a very general way simply because that community insists on living in what I see as a detrimental fantasy world. The result is a seriously distorted view of why Western guys are in Thailand, why Thai women are so “beautiful”, and a hundred other matters. Sure, I could simply say, why not leave these people to their beautiful fantasy, however ludicrous, that they’ve traveled so far to construct for themselves, but I enjoy blasting some fresh air through this swamp of falsehood, and what’s more, I think it’s dangerous to harbor these fantasies when the truth finally becomes clear. A lot of ex-pats become seriously bitter when their fantasy collapses, when they could have been happier if they simply been more realistic about themselves and their reasons for being in Thailand, and the real merits of farang vs Thai girls, and all the other subjects.

Yours,

George

Let’s get the Alpha/Beta out of the way cause it seems to create some confusion. An Alpha male in biology (human biology as well), is by definition the most physically dominant, agressive male. This is true for hippos as well as for gorillas. You become the Alpha male by beating him in a fight. An Alpha male is born, it’s pure genetics, it’s the strongest, fastest and most dangerous male in a pack of any species.

An Alpha male is not just a confident man or a rich man or socially intelligent man. It’s purely genetics. In modern society, many Alpha males are in jail or are athletes.

Women are attracted to Alpha males on a purely physical level, simply because the Alpha male is the strongest, tallest, most agressive man, even though there’s no real need for those qualities in a modern high tech society. It’s just biological hardwiring. An Alpha male will always be attractive to women across cultures and race simply from that. He doesn’t have to do anything. He will be attractive to women, even if he is a bum, a jerk, poor etc.

The rest of attraction is very much culturally determined.

I agree that confidence is attractive, but confidence is not something you’re born with. It’s something that is learned and earned from succeeding in what you do and having a healthy sense of self worth. Why are there then so many ‘losers’ as you put it, without confidence with women in the West? If you go to a grade school yard, the boys there doesn’t seem to lack confidence with girls. They tease them, chase after them and generally behave the way men and women behave naturally.

Then as they grow up, they are subject to feminist school teachers, weak parents (particularly weak fathers) and a society that gives white males a lot of guilt for their natural behaviour. You can’t really deny this can you? On the other hand, in Asia, there’s none of this bullshit. There’s no feminism, no preferential treatment of women, so naturally why would the guys have these hangups?

You can see this in the U.S. where Asian men get the short end of the stick, they are the least desired sexually from white women and even Asian women many times prefer to date white guys. Did these Asian guys suddenly turn into losers or is it that culture made them so?

50 years ago, I bet you there were many less ‘losers’ in the West, because feminism and political correct bs, were non existant.

You’re not born with confidence and self esteem. It’s something that’s learned. Many guys who live for some time in Thailand could probably go back to their own countries and be much more succesful with women because they have found their natural confidence over here and have grown as people. I’ve seen it happen.

I’ve done the PUA thing and it works. It works really well. In the West and in Asia, but eventually I found it to be fake and unnessecary. Once I got rid of my limiting beliefs from growing up in a negative enviroment it became pointless. It’s still a great way to get some CONFIDENCE with women.

You seem to want to generalise and label a lot of people as losers. Why is that? If you were really so succesful, why the need to put others down, instead of saying ‘good for you’. Where’s the beef George?

The description you provide above of how women think in the west is a fantasy, and a rather adolescent one at that. It was dreamed up by the “game” people as a consolation for their own inadequacies. If THEY couldn’t get hot women, then it simply must be because women only like thugs. How comforting for a loser to think like that. But there is a vast gulf between a confident male and a thug, and educated Western women most certainly don’t admire thugs and “macho” types in the least bit.

The game people – whose view of Western sexuality you seem to have accepted uncritically – are completely unable to imagine a strong and confident male who does not have elements of the thug and is not obsessed with dominance because game was invented as an overcompensation by weak nerdy types who have lived most of their lives as weak people and have no conception of true confidence looks and feels like.

And status IS important to women everywhere, even in the West, although even MORE so in Thailand, as in Thailand women are economically dependent and have no ability to achieve upward mobility save by marrying a wealthy make. Your determination to blind yourself to this well known fact of the Thailand social scene, a fact widely noted and commented on by Thailand observers, is quite touching, even if it’s motivation is rather obvious. And Jack, what do you think the whole point of game is, all that Alpha/Beta nonsense? The whole point is to acquire the mannerisms of the high status male to fool women.

As for “dominance”, I am sure most would agree that Thai women much more than Western women demand that quality in their men, although clearly ALL women like their men to have some level of that crucial male quality.

But it’s quite obvious, Jack, why you yourself are in Thailand and what motivates you to insist that Thai women admire men who bring to the table the bare minimum qualities of “niceness and honesty, etc” – you believe you have found the ultimate “beta” refuge. But you haven’t.

Unfortunately for your own conception of your sexual opportunities in Thailand, Jack, and for your belief that you’ve finally found a safe haven where you no longer have to compete with confident men and your “niceness” and “honesty” will be enough to win you the love of a beautiful woman, it simply isn’t enough, or even essential. “Niceness” even in Thailand will get you at best a third rate little Issan girl.

Those “nice” Thai guys you see with the hot women are actually some of the biggest assholes to women you could possibly imagine. This would really shock you, Jack, if you ever saw it up close. The way a high status, sought after Thai guy behaves towards women – in fact all across Asia – would put any PUA fresh from Roissy’s website to shame. Asian men are notoriously dismissive of their women, to the point of degradation even. That you are oblivious of this fact is an indication of how far you’ve allowed your desperate desire to believe you’ve found a beta refuge blind you to what’s around you all the time.

Finally, Jack, these “nice” Thai guys you see with the hot women, well, take a look at their cars and houses and their drinks. Yeah, they’re “high status”.

So sorry, Jack, but you haven’t found your beta refuge after all, and your entire comment simply reinforces my point that most guys in Thailand are the sexual loser type – you have given the game away with your description of what Western women want compared to what Thai women want, and how you fit the Thai conception of what’s desirable so much more. You have described yourself as a beta.

You’re way of mark. I feel you need a little introduction to social dynamics and the change in the way social dynamics work in the west.

Let’s get some definitions out of the way first: The Alpha Male

The alpha male is a term borrowed from the animal kingdom where it exclusively is used to describe the physically strongest and most aggressive male. It’s not the male with the most social clout or who finds the most bananas (though he would take them from a lesser male), such as those seen among apes, that’s the Beta male. In fact, the Alpha male in the animal kingdom couldn’t care less about social hierachies or connections. If someone challenges him, he smacks them upside the head and goes on to mate with his harem.

The Beta male on the other hand exhibits the behaviour you describe. Because of his lack of natural physical size, he uses manipulation and connections (he is basically being social) to get what he wants. When he gets laid it’s from entertaining the females while the Alpha is away protecting his herd. He will never mate as much as the Alpha though.

Are you an Alpha or a Beta, George? I’m an Alpha.

But that was a sidetrack..

Foreigners in Thailand can’t get girls back home. That’s just wrong George, It’s much easier to get women back home than it’s here (not talking bar-girls). In Thailand, there’s the never ending group of friends and face saving to be considered, in the West, most girls are not to concerned about reputation.

I’ve met many (young) guys here in Thailand, who have succesful relationships with attractive Thai women. They don’t seem to lack confidence in Thailand. What they may lack is confidence in the West, because the moral and sexual code is absolutely fucked up there. Our idea of masculinity is that of the thug, the rapper, the criminal. Dominance in any form. It’s the sign of a society that lacks male guidance. It’s the sign of a society that is the equivalent of a teenage girl who thinks having your own car is the same as being a bigshot.

Asian women are actually more mature than western women. Yes! They are able to tell empty macho gesturing from actual macho QUALITIES, such as being honest, trustworthy and reliable. Asian women are attracted to MEN not to PUBESCENT BOYS (or adults acting that way).

Have you ever seen the boyfriends of the many hot girls you talk about here? Did you notice they look quite like you would call ‘loosers’ in the West? Yet, put these guys in your average American town and they’re the ‘geeks’, the ‘loosers’, the ‘bookworms’. You follow?

There’s no need for why your average ‘nice’ guy should feel like a looser. If he is able to provide, to protect, to be a good husband, he is a winner. Western culture has lost the plot. Western women think sexiness and femininity is dependent of how much flesh they show or how big porn tits they can buy. Western men take their ques from part Gangsta-Rap, part homosexual football players.

Anyway George, are you an Alpha or a Beta, cause you sound like a douchebag and I wouldn’t mind teaching you a little about what Alpha really means.

Having spent much time in Thailand I would say roughly 95% of Western males living here simply are not successful with women in their own countries – that’s why they are here, that’s why they love Thai women.

Unlike what you claim in your article, you simply don’t see nice looking young guys here who would have no problems getting women in their own countries. Quite the opposite.

Think about it for a moment – a mans ability to attract a woman is well known t be strongly dependent on his social status and social prestige. It’s a well known fact in social science circles that when a man travels to another culture and society, one, his ability to convey his social status is harmed because of cultural differences, and two, his actual social status actually falls (it takes a lifetime to build social connections and establish social credibility).

Not only is this some kind of abstract theory, it’s a well known fact in the farang ex-pat community – and sometimes a source of (irrational) bitching and moaning – that the best looking Thai girls are really hard to get for farang guys, at least those not well connected with high status Thai male friends (that really helps a lot).

The implications for this are obvious. For a farang guy who can get hot women in his own country, what possible incentive would there be for him to go to a country where it is at least much harder for him to get the best looking women because of his lack of social credibility? Why go to a place where your sexual status is damaged and your social prestige and cred lower?

The answer is as as obvious as the question. Only guys who CAN’T get hot women in their own countries will experience an increase in his status in Thailand. Yes, it is true that less attractive Thai girls are all over farang guys – but this situation is only appealing to those who find it extremely hard to get attractive girls in their own countries.

I used to think that farang men in Thailand were mostly financial losers or social wierdos, and while Thailand is full of these types as well, I now realize after extensive experience that the number one distinguishing characteristic of farang men in Thailand is low self esteem. Western men in Thailand are the typical “loser” type who has little confidence with women and who has little self confidence in life. Thailand selects for these types of Western men, which is why you hear so many stories of men being pushed around by Thai women, etc.

What is amusing and sad is the periodic need by some in Thailand to deny what is so blatantly obvious. Why not just admit that the typical Western man in Thailand is the typical low confidence not good with women loser? He might occasionally be good looking and occasionally be wealthy, but he isn’t an alpha type personality. There is nothing necessarily shameful about this, and the fact that Thailand gives men of this stripe an opportunity to reinvent themselves in some measure is all to the good. I think everyone would be better served if this was admitted to openly and honestly.

But then, is it in human nature to admit that one is a loser and that one has joined a community of losers?