It is not always easy being a Western woman in Thailand, I know: I’ve been here for over 10 years. On this Bangkok Diaries website alone, the amount of slander and hate-talk directed at Western women is a good representation of the larger anti-Western women dynamics in the country. In addition, I have seen innumerable Western women being broken as their relationship and family tears apart. It is a fact that very few Western couples can survive several years in the Land of Smiles.
Upon arriving in Thailand, many Western men become like small boys in a candy shop, realizing they can afford all the prettiest sweets on the shelf. Oh the excitement of it all! And the predictable happens. Husband is walking along the Bangkok streets, perhaps after an argument with his wife, perhaps not. Chances are he will rapidly cross paths with a gogo bar, or a smiling Thai girl who will apply all her charm to seduce him. Many Thai girls know what they are doing in this area. Indeed, they can even make an obese Farang believe that he looked like the ideal hybrid of Brad Pitt and Robbie Williams as he blared out “My Way” on the karaoke. If the said Farang has sufficiently low self-awareness and sufficiently inflated ego, and a few drinks in him, it will work every time!
Generally speaking, Thai women are trained to always look pretty, talk softly and relentlessly work on their ‘Wife Curriculum Vitae’ from birth. This includes demonstrating your ability to artfully arrange cookies on the platter, and to spoon-feed living creatures of any age. From an early age, many Thai women are made to believe that their beauty is their biggest asset for reaching success, as my years teaching kindergarten in Bangkok have led me to notice. In brief, Thai women receive a very different education than that of your average modern Western woman.
Western women, growing up after the feminist revolution, have been taught that they need to be strong and tough to reach success. We have learned to play in the boys’ court and by the boys’ rules. We have proven that we can also play the ‘Competition for Power’ game including in the political and economic arenas. And Western feminist courage and thought have in fact benefited men and women the world over. The International Convention on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women has allowed for the increased protection of Thai women in their homes, workplaces, and public arena since 1985.
The point is: Western women have much to be proud of, and they mustn’t apologize for who they are. In Thailand, a Western woman will be made to feel worthless and small. Maybe her ‘Wife CV’ isn’t as good her Thai neighbour’s is. Maybe, after giving birth to 2-3 children, her waistline will be more like her husband’s than a young Thai lady’s. Farang men will constantly denigrate us as arrogant, bitchy, ugly, worthless human beings. Such Farang men clearly have major issues: a sense of entitlement (to sex and dinner, for example), a heightened sense of self-worth (“I am better than my ugly wife”), and a loathing for Western women. Generally, this is accompanied by despise for Thai men, something shared by their Thai wife (“I am better than Thai men”).
In the face of such hate, I sometimes feel so sad, scared, almost crazy. But, there is no need to despair! Western women in Thailand can find a great deal of compassion and companionship from each other. Thai men also have something to offer. Most young Western women have experienced being pursued, if not stalked, by Thai men. A Thai boyfriend will take care of you in a very different way to Western men. Thais have a lot of qualities to offer, such as a devotion to their parents and families, which is too often lacking in Western men. A successful relationship between a Western woman and Thai man is possible: I know of one that has lasted for over 30 years.
Western women and Thai women have a lot to learn from each other. Beyond learning to cook Tom Ka Gai, your Thai female neighbour can probably teach you a lot about taking it easy *jai yen*, or the importance of regular selfless acts *kreng jai*. Upon request, many Western women like me can also give crash-courses on how to be strong, arrogant and bitchy: necessary traits for any woman wanting to make it to top in a man’s world – think Nancy Pelosi, Empress Wu Zetian, Queen Victoria, Margaret Thatcher or Gloria Arroyo. The right to vote, the right to contraception and abortion, weren’t won by sweet-lipped women.
Times are changing: increasingly, Asian women are joining in the quest for gender equality. Thai women’s opportunities will continue to broaden, and they will no longer be as inclined to prostitute themselves, or accept balding Farangs as the most desirable husband. Whether such Farang-Thai partnerships are ‘bad’ or ‘good’ is not my concern. But my 10 years in Thailand have shown that many Farang men will ultimately be disappointed by their Thai partner. Farang men will whine and bitch about ‘how difficult it is to have an interesting conversation with her’, ‘she’s not as docile as I thought’, etc. These Farangs will often end up estranged or despised by their own children and extended family back in their country. In Thailand, a Western woman may lose her husband. But we keep our children’s love and respect. So let’s not lose our self-confidence and compassion. Our ex-husbands may need some in the future.
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@ Britinbangkok, Ruai
Nice to have u join the conversation, Britinbangkok. However u are wrong to think that I dont like Thailand. I would be long gone if that were the case. Ruai got it right: it’s more like I need to bury my true personality here. For example, this weekend I went to a rural village, where the fiancee of one of my farang friends lives. Her family welcomed us so warmly. The women cooked, I offered to help chop cucumbers or whatev, but I was chased out, so I went to have some rice alcohol with the men. After, we started eating, but only the men and I: the Thai women sat in the corner with the children. This of course made me uncomfortable. I had a second glass of alcohol, while the men began lighting their cigarette, I didn’t dare to light one myself, for fear of how that would make me look (I’m a regular smoker but I usually hide it when in Thailand). So you see, it’s not that I don’t like Thailand. The point is, for a Farang woman, it can be hard to find your place.
Of course, going to nightclub with hi-so Thai girls is totally different, it’s easier to fit in. I can be more like myself. But the nightclubs and the hi-so are not what I like best in Thailand. I’d rather be in the countryside, where traditional values hold strong.
@Britinbangkok: Thanks for commenting because this is one of my biggest pet peeves. It’s all of these stereotypes that many disgruntled farang women throw around. Whether it be about what pathetic losers us farang men are or how docile and subservient Thai women are.
Hey, I don’t begrudge any farang woman I see with a Thai dude. I say more power to her. I don’t snicker or raise an eyebrow when some girl tells me she’s going to Gambia or the DR on holiday. More power to her.
I just don’t see why it irks some farang women so much. Not just he ones living here but even back home. What guy hasn’t gotten a snotty look when he says he’s going to Thailand on holiday?
I really feel for women who don’t have any Thai friends here in Thailand. It must be very hard on them. At least as men women are seeking out our company (not always in a sexual manner). I have lots of female Thai friends. So, you learn to understand their perspective on many things.
But if you don’t have many Thai friends then I’m sure you feel like an outsider looking in. You see things but don’t really understand them. Or you do understand them but through your own cultural filters that give you a distorted perspective of what’s actually happening.
But labeling people, stereotyping them, and feeling hostile towards 98% of the people around you doesn’t really seem like an effective remedy.
@BKK Blue: I don’t really get why you feel you need to bury your true self. Why not light a cig? You’re making the same mistake as a lot of guys make which is you assume that you’ll be accepted as Thai if you follow their culture. You’ll never be Thai. They’ll never look at you as a Thai even if you speak fluent Thai, live in an Issan hut, plant rice, have a Thai husband, and crank out 10 Thai kids. You’ll still be farang.
So, be a farang. Don’t disrespect their culture but having a cig isn’t going to get you kicked out of the house. I don’t get out to the northeast much but I have spent an evening here or there with Thais in some pretty ghetto parts of Bangkok. And I have no problem hanging out in that environment even though I barely understand what’s going on around me. I don’t try to be Thai. Sure, I make sure I wai everyone appropriately and such but I don’t try to “fit in.” It’s not like anybody is going to say “Oh shit, I almost forgot he was a farang.”
I’ll always be a farang in their eyes. And so that provides me a little latitude in doing things that they wouldn’t.
There’s a huge difference between respecting their culture (which is all they ask) and trying to act like them (which they don’t ask of you). Thai women go out with me because I’m not Thai. I don’t act like a Thai. They value parts of my western culture and have chosen to date farangs because that is what they want in a partner. To turn around and try to be exactly what they don’t want seems rather counterproductive.
Ruai, I’m really appreciating this exchange with you.
.
But I do want to fit in!! I’m not here just to “be a Farang”. I know I’ll never be considered Thai, fine… it’s not what I dream of either. But I’ve put a lot of effort into learning the language, the culture, the cooking, the religion, the politics. Though lighting a cigarette would not get me kicked out of the village, it could potentially make me look like a careless, dirty, irresponsible and worthless person, especially because I am a woman, don’t you think? But really, the cigarette is a small symbolic example, not such a big deal – and I should quit anyway
I actually think that you did the respectful thing by not taking a smoke. I believe the women there gave you more credit for that. You can smoke later, no problem.
I also agree, from my limited knowledge of Thai culture (which will take YEARS to figure out), that Thais will never think of a Farang as Thai no matter what. A farang friend of mine in BKK has a son from a thai lady, and the son gets treated differently by thais, read better, than his full thai friends.
A farang woman living in Thailand takes a lot of guts. They are faced with a society that is quite the opposite of their original western culture, I do not have a clue why they would choose to live here. May be some one can chime in on why?
Just read an article in what is considered to be one of the best modern rags in the US: Oprah issue April 2010. Heading:
Building a better husband…
Picture: shows a man in his underware and t shirt coming out of a full size cardboard box with foam peanuts all over the floor. Meaning: Women (since this is a woman mag) can shape and mold their husbands/BF as they need fit. Any one with an IQ of over 89.99 will get the messege that a woman can “mold” her husband/BF.
NOW; to be clear, if you read the article it talks about “partners” who can help each other to become who they want to be. nevertheless, the hidden messege is there..
I almost can see the riots in Washington DC if that same article had, Buddha forgive me, a woman instead of a man coming out of the same box being molded by a man!!!
My point: Oprah is actually not too bad of a magazine, and as such I expected it to be more neutral, but as usual the constant attack on the core of the male in the US and the rest of the western world continues. Other magz are much worse and they attck men in so many ways it would take me days to write..
Look at “most” of the comercials ads and movies, they make the man the idiot who is always breaking things, does not know anything and can’t hold his own baby in his hands (home improvement series, remmeber?)
When is denial about the true value of men going to stop? I suspect never, and it will only get worse. I do, however, believe that a lot of the blame should be aimed at the western man today. He is letting all this BS happen to him and he is not fighting back because he’d rather have bad sex once a month than no sex at all…..
Interesting post, but slightly counterproductive in that your personal decisions somewhat back up the attitude against western women she you fighting against.
I don’t see why you recommend that any woman necessarily become “bitchy” at any time. Just like I don’t believe a man should become a jerk at anytime. Fighting and standing up for oneself is one thing. Cultivating (and seeking to cultivate) a negative attitude in others is something different.
It is also painfully ironic that you suggest that bald/balding men were something Thai women or all women should avoid. Men who go bald do not choose to do so. Western women who do not exercise the recommended 3-5 times a week DO choose to do so. It is a man’s biological nature to be attracted to women who are in shape. Is it any wonder that men with overweight Western wives are incredibly interested in attractive Asian women? Having a baby is one thing. Saying “I don’t do gyms” is another.
@Mando: I totally agree with you. There is an issue with representation of men in many Western ads: after the dumb blonde obsession, here comes the idiot guy who has no idea how to fry an egg!! It’s over the top, for sure ( as are the “how to make your bf/gf into the perfect mate” series) … glad smart men like you are speaking up about it.
@Trett: granted, I’m not a totally consistent person and have many contradictory thoughts/feelings at the same time. About being a bitch, I’m not saying women SHOULD be bitches. I’m saying that it can be a handy skill to BE ABLE to be a bitch. It can be handy when you’re being talked down to, stepped on, or groped, or whatev (by a man or woman, thai or farang). Besides, it’s one of the rare skills that I have + can share
!! So you might think “my thai gf is too sweet and pure to be interested in making bitchy comments to those who belittle her”, well fine. But some less-than-perfect people out there, like me, whose hearts are not pristine heavens of kindness, do not turn the other cheek.
Finally: yes, many balding farangs are more attracted to thin asians than to obsese farangs… thanks for the reminder, Captain obvious. I do live in Thailand, you know.
@BKK Blue don’t you mean assertive? Bitchy is aggressive,meanness. Yes I agree that many western women are just mean! There is a difference between self defense by assertive mannerly behavior and just mean retort!
I remember an old movie called Hardbodies where older men who had worked hard to achieve success were belittled by the attractive women on the Santa Monica beach/Pier until they took lessons from a local womanizer.
For a romantic template of assertive Womanhood the Korean drama, Bichunmoo
http://so.tudou.com/isearch/Bichunmoo/cid__time__sort_score_display_album_high_0_page_2
There is a line spoken by one of the characters to the hero “What women really love isn’t the man. But rather his power and wealth. So pitiful you have neither.”
That is the crux of this discussion. Western men in Thailand who at home are seen as pitiful. When they come here they are perceived differently. Western women in Thailand do seem to take exception to this bitterly.
Take a read on what a women’s column says about “nice guys”: http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml
No wonder men are bowled over by Thai Women!!
Fantastic!!!
You show those men how wrong they are for wanting an affectionate, soft, pleasant, adoring woman. That’s so selfish of them.
They should want a tough woman. Perfect. I want a man’s personality inside female skin. Yah, that’s normal.
Woman all over should be as nasty, disrespectful, and growling as possible. Grab that power. Abort that baby. Men are our equals!!!!
I am not smart, “I just say it as I see it”
…
I find it very ironic that today, most women are doing to men what they hated about what men did to them years ago…It forces me to believe that most women are behaving as if “two wrongs make a right”
I do not agree with what most men did to women in the past when they dumped them for a younger one destroying their families AND destroying the Well fare system in the process…..
Are we better off today? NO for sure. The divorce rate in southern California is claimed to be in the 80% and it is about 65% US wide!!!! Most children are with single moms….So much for women’s lib….
but let’s be real about fat baldy men. No one in their right mind will say that they are as cute as the Bradd Pitts of the world!!! so, how can any one blame those Fat men when they go to BKK and enjoy ther dreams?
Also, no one will say that a fat woman is any where near as sexual as a little thin sexy 20 year old Thai lady…Deal with it.
Men are ” visual”, read SEXUAL and Physical (do not continue to read if you do not agree
). any healthy man of any adult age, upon seeing a beautiful woman will think of sexing her instantly….Then he “may” think about anything else that is worth looking into…The ” SEX” content is always there between a man and a beautiful woman..
On the other hand, most women are responsive to “sound” and will look at a man in terms of ” can he take care of me” the instant they see him, “THEN” they may look at his other attributes…
Again, this is known to be the general and the more primitive initials reactions to each sex. Social rules, ethics and regulations “forces” the brain of men and the emotions of women to think diffirently than what is mentioned above. For example: when a man meets a beautiful woman, he will think of sex for a split second, then his western social programming will force him to change his thinking about sex and pretend it is not there as he tries to find something else to look at in this beautiful woman…
Most women like to live in a “denial state” for most of their adult lives. And most men will live their lives trying to sex (fu..) every beautiful woman they set their eyes on while starting and stopping idiotic wars in this globe!!!!
Just enjoy life as you see fit
@Rio
“What women really love isn’t the man. But rather his power and wealth. So pitiful you have neither.”
It’s time you wake up to the 21rst century, man. If you’re talking about young Western women, they tend to have more wealth than young Western men.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/03/nyregion/03women.html
That stuff about choosing a guy who will buy you the jewels that you can’t afford is out-the-window for Western women under 35. I choose a guy according to his sense of humour and brains, and I do “love the man”, even though most of my boyfriends have earned way less than myself. So indeed, a farang with flab, a high sense of entitlement and 5000 dollars has better chances of seeming attractive to a Thai woman. For someone in my position, the Thai man with a highly toned body and pleasant attitude, is a way better deal. I know what you guys are saying. Women are also visual and sexual beings too, Mando. And they’re just as selfish as men are.
Finally: if you think Western women are just mean, my guess is you have no clue how to handle them. I’ve seen poor Western guys transform some of my bitchiest friends, high-earning Western women, into sweet pets who bake cookies and plan&pay for a weekend in Hawaii. If you don’t know how to handle a Western woman like that, you definitely made the smart choice, coming to Thailand.
@BKK I live in the real world. I can say the you did not watch the program. perhaps you cannot get it there. The woman is as modern as they get. I am busy with preparations to live on a trip this fall to Asia(business/pleasure). I am not bothering with anything else. Thailand looks good to get my body in shape at one of the great but affordable hospitals there.
How do you know I don’t know how to handle Western Women? That is what we men are talking about the put down. It was unnecessary. You could have asked a question instead. Of course I am not up for a part in “Taming of the Shrew”
Now for a male in my position I too like a well toned female body and no sense of entitlement. Too many western women think that they sit on gold.
Yes, social skills are important every where. An ugly man with great social skills will outshine a handsome man who is without.
AS for the bard and the above mentioned play:”
Act 4, Sc. 5, Lines 14-17
10) “Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign, one that cares for thee,
And for thy maintence commits his body
To painful labor both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst though liest warm at home, secure and safe,
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks, and true obedience-
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will,
What is she but a foul contending rebel
And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
I am ashamed that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace,
Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway
When they are bound to serve, love, and obey
The article fromt the NYT is very specific about a group of women in NYC, not nation wide. So it is a unique case. Mind you, I think women and men should be paid the exact same wages AS LONG AS ONE DOES THE JOB HE/SHE IS PAID FOR!! I fully believe in equal pay AND equal responsibility/duty.
OK, so the comment was made that ” Women are also visual and sexual beings too, Mando. And they’re just as selfish as men are.” if that is the case, then logic dictates that there is nothing wrong with men seeking beautiful women, anywhere they happen to live, and men can be selfish about it (the same applies for women IMHO). I always have said that women, generally speaking, behave like men do, they just deny it to themselves and to others and that is where the confusion begins…I am glad that you agree that both sexes are just as bad or just as good towards each other, depends on how you look at it
@Rio
) . Anyway, my belief is that most guys out there who are complaining “i’m such a nice guy, i can’t believe she won’t let me fuck her”, are not really nice guys. It’s kind of like that gym shooter (the American who shot dead 3 women in a gym in Pittsburgh last year), well he said he didn’t understand his dating problems because he’s such a “nice guy”… well it turns out, he’s NOT a nice guy, but in fact a total psychopath, and my guess is that the women he hit on could sense something weird in him. Maybe something like a sense of entitlement
? (=if i’m a nice guy, i’m entitled to sex).
I didn’t mean to offend you, truly, sorry if I did. I watched part of the Bichunmoo episode, and would agree that women aren’t portrayed too badly. I don’t get the point you’re driving at with that poem/play, though??
About Nice Guys, I don’t agree with the Heartless Bitches . I like a nice guy with attitude, i.e. someone basically kind who’ll call me out on my shit (nearly a full-time job for my current bf
@mando: glad we could find so much common ground.!
@BKK
Hi The lines are from the “Taming of the Shrew”. It maybe habit to go for a quick quip. Unfortunately the average male is not interested in “drama” or calling someone out on “their shit”. It is so much appealing to be liked and lusted after; made to feel comfortable ,relaxed, aroused by an attractive woman.
I guess all that working out and eating right to stay sexy looking to women was just a waste of time huh? Naah I like being in shape. But I do agree with the fact that there has been a systematic pussification of the Western man over the last decade or two.
1-They want you to be gentile, but what if you and your gentile metrisexual mate encounter across a mugger?
2-They want you to be soft but not if you are the fireman that rescues them from th burning apartment (that they also have posters of in thier cubicle).
3-Equal pay is cool in my book for most jobs, but if I’m in a burning building, I want the guy that can carry my 6ft1 230 pound ass out of there on his back not the chick who has pms and back weakness that day.
4-An I never even want to imagine pulling something the size of a Christmas turkey out of my arse or any other orifice that size.
We are designed for different tasks.
Men have become such wimps in the US that I was called a brute on Hollywood blvd because I didn’t want to be some pink shirt wearing dude’s ‘bear’. On the flup side of that, the neighborhood I grew up in had a slew of muggings, all of the older women except my Mom. Guess why? Her son is a Brute. And my kid brother is even taller than me now. You need real men in the west. Towers went down, they called real MEN. You liberated women who make big money go to the club on the prowl, you look for REAL MEN. So why does every sytematic trend call for puss boys?
We have been beaten into submission for so long here, we loose our wit a bit when we enter a place like Thailand with a bunch of dolls that tell us thek it is ok to be MEN. In the US we have to:
1- pick you up at 7 sharp in the BMW
2-take you somewhere nice
3- have good conversation
4- stop hanging out with our friends because you don’t like them
5- like your friends
6-constantly stroke your ego
7- the whole effing list of wants (you know)
In return we get nagged, belittled, emotionally neutered and cheated on with foreign men from Italy, Jamaica or some Spanish speaking land or rich assholes (who you seem to love for some reason).
Sending one of these poor deprived, manhood supressed shadows of thier potential selves to Thailand is like lighting a bomb. It’s like letting a caged tiger loose that was born to be wild but just didn’t know how. He will pounce on EVERYTHING that moves and cares less than a damn whose cattle are off limits. Treat a man like a MAN. We are being s of simple desires. the 4S rule applies:
1-SEX: however we like and as much as we can handle (empty sack cannot give gifts to another kitty)
2-Sandwiches/steaks/sautee (whatever he likes to eat)
3-Silence (especially if HIS team is playing) when he is busy with something that is ‘his’: Hobby, magazine, video game (PS3 will keep him at home and not with other Kitty)
4-Stroke his ego. If you make YOUR man feel like a MAN. He will be YOUR MAN because of the way you make him feel.
5-Be a woman in the street but a WHORE in the sack (yeah I said it).
6-You feel yourself getting round? 30 minutes of PE can change all that.
If he is getting his fill of this at home falling for a Tahi or any other woman would be harder for him to do. He would stray and say to himself,”WTF is all the fuss? I get that at home.” An even better trick is to watch a dirty movie with Asian women in it. Dress up like the prettiest/sexiest one in the whole effin movie, become her for the night, send the kids to Mums house and give him the soapy fishbowl treatment (look it up or ask someone if you need to). Do some role play when he gets home by saying, “Hey handsome man, you work hard today? let me give you a good massage.” Make him fell wanted and sexy. It may surprise you how much fun it is for YOU. New and exciting fantasy play can make an old marriage feel like BRAND NEW (hell I have been known to dress up as a Cowboy or forget to take off the hardhat and boots after work on several occasions myself. “You called about some plumbing problems Maam?” lol).
Life is a grand illusion and the more fun it is, the better off we’ll all be. Learn from these Thai women and share some of your knowledge with them. You’ll thank me for this information if you’re smart enough to use it.
JJ
Readers, please forgive the misspellings. I was really pasionate about that post and typed it way too fast.
JJ
It’s weird that with so many guys on this website who are so uninterested in farang women, this post still got 69 comments so far. hahah! Anyway, I’m leaving this conversation because there’s nothing left to say. You guys can go on being nasty and hateful to each other, you do it so well on this website.
Rio, you want a woman to make you feel comfortable and aroused, well it sounds like you need a whore-cum-mother-cum-servant girl, I’m sure you’ll find her. I’m interested in real partnerships, I guess that’s more than you can deal with, if you even k now what it means.
Jay, wow, that puss boy theory is soooo smart. You smart man AND sexy man!! Why don’t you take your advice to Oprah since it’s so good. Or else you can shove it you know where. Sure you’ll also find an assistant to help you in that delightful task.
@BKK Blue
Have you forgot that the ideal woman is a CEO in the board room,a whiz in the kitchen, a lady in the living room and a whore in bed? While a male is to be a A Brute!
Anyway it’s been fun
Blue (balls on your man probably)
Naah, I’m just kidding Blue. Please understand that it’s not ALL Western women that men are upset with. You must admit that here are a lot of beeyatches out here (I’m back in LA right now) and men don’t know about any other options than being stressed out by a beaitiful ‘witch of the west ‘and then dying of a heat attach at 50 to leave her everything. I love blondes, (I think I’m over it now, though) but AlLL of the ones I’ve dated were a bit off in the emotional/mental area. It’s just abit easier to deal with asian women because of the cultural differences. Many men get tired of the chase and games and many having never enjoyed the company of an ‘exotic’ just say the hell with it and forsake Western women as a whole. You being mad that Western men being smitten with Asian women in Bangkok is like me going to an Elton John concert and getting mad that he didn’t play any Hip-Hop songs. Un-effin-neccesary.
To each their own, so stop being mad at the kid that likes mango sorbet instead of french vanilla. That is all.
JJ
Hi BBK Blue,
72 comments, and the number is increasing daily. Obviously you have hit a nerve!
What I like about your post is that apparently you can still see some good in everyone:
you mention the courage of the Western women that has benefited women and men all over the world,
the Thai men with their devotion to their parents and families,
the Thai women with their ability to teach you something valuable from their culture like “jai yen”, or “kreng jai”.
I think that is the crucial point of the whole thing: “there is good and bad in everyone”*; nothing is perfect in this world; it’s up to us to make the best out of the situations we are confronted with.
Chok dee khrap!
*”Ebony And Ivory live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my piano keyboard oh lord why dont we?
We all know that people are the same where ever you go
there is good and bad in everyone
we learn to live we learn to give each other what we need to survive together alive” Paul McCartney
Well done for writing such an interesting and thought provoking article. That really set the dogs among the cats. I’ve been reading BK Dees for a few weeks. I really like the exchange. It got loads of people going. I only read it today. This is the best so far. Are you still in Thailand?
A lot of mates are women. Have been, hopefully will always will be. I treat them like my men mates. Same topics, same talk. Respect.
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