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Having dated my fair share of Thai women over the years one common trait seen in many of them is an inability to exercise financial discipline. No doubt there are many Thai women who are responsible with money but most seem to take the attitude that Buddha will provide and see no reason to put forth any effort to secure their own financial security.
I was once told by a middle-age, university educated, woman, “What good can my money do me if I’m dead? If I don’t spend it now I might not get the chance.” Sadly, this is exactly how many Thai people from every financial strata view money.
This isn’t about your latest and greatest mobile phone addicted bar girl. These women can be educated, poor, middle-class, or wealthy. It’s just a mindset about money that really damages the country as a whole.
Of course, the hardest hit are those who cannot afford to spend the money. Many of these girls don’t have two baht to rub together but the second they get any money they spend it. Not on essentials but, more often than not, on things they don’t even need.
Not all Thai women are like this. I’ll admit that. But too many are. For a country where most people are living one step above the poverty level the inability to save even a modest amount is somewhat troubling.
In the West we call it Ghetto Rich. Actually, there a more offensive and racist term but let’s just go with Ghetto Rich for the sake of keeping things out of the racist category.
The Urban Dictionary gives several different definitions for both Ghetto Rich and the more derogatory form.
Primarily invested in depreciating assets i.e. cars, clothes, jewelry.
Spending your money unwisely on things you dont need that wont last you that long.
Spending all the money you have as fast as possible just because you have it.
The reason it has the name Ghetto Rich is because that’s exactly where that kind of attitude with money will keep you, in the ghetto. And in Thailand, the culture is such that everyone is worried about “saving face” or “gaining face” which essentially means showing off wealth.
I can’t even count the number of Thai women I’ve known that have been thrown a lucky curve in life and watched them waste it. For example, one girl I met told me about how her ex-boyfriend used to give her 100,000 baht per month to live on. This is a girl who came off a farm in Isaan and was working as a waitress in a restaurant making 7,000 or 8,000 baht per month before she met the guy. She dated him for nearly three years and despite receiving 3.6 million baht during that time period, she said that when they broke up she had 500 baht in her bank account. Surely, she bought a house or a car, right? Nope. She blew every single baht on taking her friends out to hi-so restaurants, partying, and “helping” all of her less fortunate friends.
A girl who I dated previously dated a guy who was making about 300,000 baht per month salary here in Thailand. He gave her her own ATM card to his account and his credit card. She dated him for about four years and at the end of the relationship she had 200 baht in cash and a room stuffed to capacity with clothes and shoes.
I wish I could say these are isolated incidents but they’re only isolated in the sense of the figures involved. The mindset that all money has to be spent and that it should be spent in a way that lets others know you have wealth is one of the core problems facing Thailand because no matter how much money you pump into the country it will remain a poor country as long as the money leaves people’s hands as fast as it comes in.
What compounds the problem is that in many cases the girl winds up with an entourage of leeches. The girl I described above had a cousin who learned that sticking her hand out was easier than getting a job. Here’s this 20 year old cousin living in Bangkok, perpetually unemployed, and asking the girl I was dating to “help” her with the rent or food or whatever. Every morning I would hear the SMS ringtone and the girl I was seeing would read it and show me yet another request for some “help.”
I know many people are thinking that I was simply being set up but I didn’t give her money to give to her cousin. I told her that I wouldn’t because if she didn’t have any money to give then her cousin might finally go out and get a job. As long as her cousin could get by without working she would. It was only when the money was cut off 100% that she would do something for herself.
And that’s exactly what happened. After a few months of not getting any money she left Bangkok and went to give live with her parents who were slightly annoyed that the girl I was dating didn’t do more to help.
She also attracted other leeches during her rich years. She had a small army of girls who kissed her ass and let her be the leader of their gang (Thais like to call groups of friends, their gang) as long as she was footing the bill at nightclubs, helping them pay the rent, taking them out to fancy restaurants, etc. When the money quit coming in her friends all dumped her and only came back sniffing around when we started going out thinking the money train was back. When they found out it wasn’t they were gone.
Many foreigners think that they’re being scammed when in reality they’re just experiencing Thai attitudes towards wealth. They can’t imagine having millions and millions of baht and not throwing it around to let others know how rich they are. And if they have a “rich” (rich is always relative in Thailand) boyfriend all of their friends and family expect some crumbs to fall off of the table. If there are no crumbs for them then she loses face.
My current girlfriend used to have the same problem. She was a shopaholic. We’re talking complete loss of sanity in any sort of shopping environment. Literally, it was like she was on a drug. She would forget I was even with her. In fact, she told me she left her friends at the mall once and forgot about them until she was in the taxi on her way home with her big shopping score. She had to call them from the taxi when the buzz wore off and apologize.
After she agreed that she couldn’t live like that anymore, one of the first things I did was put her on a budget. Normally, she got paid on the 1st and was broke by the 12th. When we first started going out, once she went broke she would ask me for small amounts of money here and there for food or to put money on her mobile. But that grew old for me fast so I started making her turn over her pay to me on the first and I would dole it out to her. She wasn’t happy about that one bit and I listened to many pleas about “needing” a new pair of shoes or a new dress but I held firm.
Actually, what I did was take all of her monthly fixed expenditures like rent, monthly stipend to the parents, etc. and give her that right away so she could take care of those obligations. After that I divided the rest up into four weekly payments and gave it out to her accordingly. Even then she was blowing through the cash as fast as I gave it to her. If I gave her the money on Monday she was often broke by Tuesday. When I refused to release any more funds for the week and she would pout and sulk and tell me I didn’t love her but it eventually sunk in that the money had to last the entire week.
I have to say that even though we had some fights about this method she really did want to learn how to live on what she was making. I have to give her credit for wanting to change and being willing to stick with it.
Once she could live on what she made I figured the next step was to teach her how money is supposed to be used. That it’s a tool to help you make more money and that you want to buy appreciating assets rather than assets that depreciate.
For this, I actually had to reach into my pocket. I made her a small loan of about 3000 baht. I told her she could spend the money any way she wanted but I would show her how she could turn the 3000 baht into 4000 baht.
I walked her through several examples of buying something at wholesale and selling it at retail. How that 3000 baht could become 4000 baht and if she took the 4000 baht and did it again it could become 5300 baht. And if she took the 5300 baht, well, you get the picture.
She got very excited when I showed her a path to being able to replace her job income with her own business. She always wanted her own business and hates what she does (retail sales) but never saw a plan laid out that showed her how to get there. Plus, had she not learned how to live on a budget she would have blown through her capital.
We’re still in the early phases of this experiment but after several brainstorming sessions on what she could sell she’s made a successful trip back to her hometown in Isaan and used the 3000 baht to buy some locally made items that she’s been able to sell to her friends. Her first turnover netted her back 3800 baht which was short of the 4000 baht goal but at I can see a change in her attitude about money. She’s squirreling away money out of her weekly allowance so she can add it to the 3800 baht and buy even more stuff on her next trip home.
Of course, at this stage I’m still financing part of the business. I pay for her trips back home and I’m not really interested in getting my original 3000 baht starting money back. I’m also prone to helping her feel good about how she’s doing by taking her out to celebrate or buying her little gifts as encouragement.
But I’m also getting something back too. I no longer have to explain to her why I’m not spending my money like a drunken sailor. She understands that I need my capital to invest to generate income. When I flip an investment for a profit I show her how I did it and she’s even showing an interest in my business and asking if she can help. And like a good little businessperson she’s also learned to ask for a cut of the profits rather than a straight fee when she does help me. 
When I was thinking about whether to write and submit this article I realized that what I’m saying might sound somewhat controlling but she asked me for the help in getting her spending under control. I didn’t take control of her money so I could have some sort of power over her but so that she could gain some power over her own spending urges. So despite the controlling nature of the teaching I feel that in the end she’s more empowered.
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So true. A very good assessment of Thai people’s (specially girls) attitude towards money.
But I am wondering what is the savings rate of Thailand vs USA? I don’t know. USA was almost negative at time and it has picked up a bit recently.
I bet many in Europe will also do that same nut in those countries there is a safety net (unemployment insurance, etc.) so it’s not obvious and people are not bumming from their friends.
I read somewhere that the official Thai domestic savings rate is 35% but I suspect that this may be heavily skewed by the income gap as I’ve also read that over half of all savings are held by residents of Bangkok. The number might also be pre-Asian meltdown so the numbers would presumably be worse.
Good article.
As with the child-like quality the whole thing is actually due mostly to ignorance.
You have educated your girlfriend somewhat and its taking hold evidently. She sees the results and gains the wisdom of simple enterprise.
A Thai associate of mine observed one day that most of these Thai girls with mobile phones really can’t really afford them, and that an extraordinary % of their income is devoted to their mobile phones. And there is no doubt.
People and money…always an interesting
I have seen a very similar if not identical behaviour from the girls that I met here. I thought it was because of their way of living the nite life. But then I got to meet other Thai girls and even Thai men and couples and I saw the same thing. Not all the Thai people I met behaved in the way you are describing though. I know of two couples who seem to live well within their rich means. But the majority I did see, male and female, live beyond their means. They have “toys” that were very expensive, yet they live in a poor area and dress accordingly….
Of course all societies have this problem, but it seem to be wide spread here in Thailand. Not sure if it is the ” mai bin rai” attitude or the religion.
@mando: Sure all societies have it but most of those societies don’t have 80% of the population barely making enough to survive.
That is why I said that it is widely spread here in Thailand and may be also spread in a few other Asian countries…
To be fair, Thais don’t need to save as much for retirement because health care costs are lower and they have their families to take care of them. It’s not like the US where you have to store up enough to fend for yourself after retirement.
Anyway in my experience this is not really a “Thai culture” thing — it’s the behavior of people with lesser education and resources. The author himself points out that the US has something similar, and official stats more than back this up: US personal savings rate is 3-4% (http://www.bea.gov/briefrm/saving.htm), Thailand personal savings rate: 11.5% (https://ww.dbsvresearch.com/research/DBS/research.nsf/%28vwAllDocs%29/6CDCFC2C3B157AAC4825770000315F00/$FILE/TH_higher%20rates_9Apr10.pdf).
Well-educated, middle/upper-class Thai women can and do save money, and to be frank, it’s patronizing to say that they can’t. The author’s stated experience is primarily indicating that he interacts with lower-class women, despite his claims to the contrary.
You still dating that girl? Seems like when two start making money together and become a team, they end up getting married sooner or later.
As for Nitty above, what you say is somewhat true, but if you look closer, enquire more deeply, you will likely discover that the more sophisticated southeast asians who more likely than not live/work/play in the capital cities have taken on western ways. In other words, because all that is white is good, then of course they emulate the west, and adopt our practices: because they are good and practical, and tend to minimize the hard times when they arrive. Emergencies no longer need to once again bankrupt the family because one has planned for that. And so I agree with you that the article writer’s experience is with the less well-educated women, and perhaps only with those who are country girls who in fact are ignorant, who learn from each other such practices, whose families teach them to grab all they can for everyone in the family while the going is good. After all, life is so precariously uncertain in most of SE Asia, and so if a thai woman has been blessed by this “rich” white guy in her life, then who can blame her for behaving as she does….
As for face, there’s more of that in Thailand and Vietnam than in the Phil and Indonesia, and so yes, that get’s tossed into the mix to further complicate things.
May the western man be more discerning, less generous and more appreciative of all that these lovely women do bring into our lives!
Sad state of affairs. There is a real need in the world for people to get financially educated. Although I’d like to say that I could sympathize with these girls if they are just trying to live a dream what I’d like for them is to realize that when the dream ends, they will probably end up back in their farms with a baby in each arm.
More and more of this happening especially with girls in SE Asia looking for the white man of her dreams.
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Yes, Anna, so true re babies on each arm, cos there’s neither awareness of the importance of birth control, family planning and financial burden. And cos so many SE Asian women migrate to the cities, they somehow miss that having kids ad infinitum doesn’t fit urban life. And cos they tend to be wretchedly poor wherever they live, if one doesn’t have a TV or something that otherwise keeps the evenings occupied, why not make love .. over and over again. Hence lil brown babies on each arm, wrapped around each leg, and one suckling at the breast. And so white are the rescue package.
But .. but .. but .. many white men are rascals and worse! Some are what pinoy call babaero (or womanizers) in these lands, and go from one chocolate beauty to another and another, leaving behind white SE Asian babies, and only a few, it seems, are scrupulous enough to support that child.
And so the woman/mother who has already proved that the white rescuer formula works, searchs ever more diligently for another, online or in the cities. But the sense of urgency is palpable, desperation runs deep, cos if she has a pushy family, a couple older indigenous children, and a cross white infant/toddler, then her chances of landing another generous white guy narrows, cos she’s aging with the wear and tear, the stress and relative distress.
So it’s all mixed up in Asia, and in the end the whites with big hearts are often stripped of much of their life savings, or those without big hearts leave the wreckage behind in their joie de vivre of unending beer and chocolate chicks.
As many so callously say in private, “ah but the pussy is good!”
Woe is us!
There’s a lot of different angles to this thing.
Teaching children the concept of money….. something that neither tastes good, smells good, looks useful or desirable to the untrained mind…. is a very difficult thing to do. I remember my children grasping at the idea of money.
Here you have girls who reach physical (salable) maturity, who probably never had a 100Bt note of their own in their life, being thrust (usually by their family) into the avaricious culture of money. Suddenly she’s getting 1000Bt tips…or perhaps many thousands… from “customers”… having learned nothing about money, sex, self-dignity or much of anything else.
In the original piece here… the writer managed..by a degree of force… to educate an ignorant person in the folly of her ways.
The wealthy spendthrift Thai suffer the same ignorance…but because they never had to think about money a day in their life…and likely never will have to.
That said, many of the Issan prostitutes I know are pretty loyal about taking care of their (often brutally demanding) family back home …especially if they have children…and deprive themselves of even the simplest most basic things.
The few live-ins I’ve had were all like that…and had no children.
I was very careful to take good care of their needs myself, and equally cautious about cash given to be sent home.
I do agreed with this article at some point but i think is more to culture and how we bought up in the family. some family will teach the kids when they were young how to save the money and how to spend it.. but some family don’t.. perhaps they ( parent) don’t know how itself.. that why some farmer only know how to teach children to be a farmer like them but some got smarter don’t want their children to do what they do but don’t know what else that can be better than go to school and do something else ..so what i am saying is not only Thai woman have problem with the money Thai man as well .. due to culture and how we been raising when we were young .
Yes Knitpa, esp. if the family is always poor..
Yet let me ask you this question:
If the family makes more money on the rice crop this year, where does the extra money go? Does it go to celebrating the good harvest? Or do the parents set aside the extra for a day of need?
In other words, no one needs to be educated to save what the family doesn’t need. It’s simple common sense.
And yes, the women tend to be better than the men, but if a thai woman has an easy source of money, esp. from a western man, then soon she gets converted to that way of living, and then money has no meaning. It’s soon taken for granted, and nothing is saved or built from that money that would keep the family going during the hard times. Lack of discipline is the greater part of it, not the culture or ignorance.
My mother had very little education, but what she did have was determination and intelligence: what was left over after food for the family was put away for a rainy day. And when there was an emergency, or when she wanted to give some money to a worthy cause, she had it to give, because she looked into the future a few years and saw that life could get very difficult if her husband died or lost his job or if the crop that year was poor.
So tell me, truthfully, honestly, what is the biggest factor preventing thai, or for that matter, many/most southeast asians poor forever? And your asian cousins in Taiwan or China or Japan rich beyond dreams?
Yes Daen, I do agreed with you at some point that nothing to do with education to save money in the rainy day at western world .. but in Thailand people do spend money left and right all year wrong ( if they have it or if they don’t have it they will borrow it to do so if you let them that how they are) when i said the culture it mean local believed and how they do in the village . specially Esaan and north family . if they were poor and got nothing .. then one day they have some money . the first thing is come to their mind is to spend it with something that they want ( could be anything ) what i am trying to say is not just a woman ( man as well) but woman more coz of woman nature anyway to spend on something that just because they look cute more than what we really want it in life.. and where you are come from in Thailand is make the difference believed as well.
Yes, i hear you that generally Thai men lack financial discipline.
And I guess that when you are poor, then a little money is like a celebration and so why not spend it on something that will be fun, instead of something that is boring like rice, a new house roof, or clothes for the kids.
In general, Knitpa, married women in western countries are more cautious with money than their men: they realize that the family must be protected, and so they will usually spend wisely, save a little when able, and seldom go out to buy some jewellery or clothes they don’t really need. Single women also tend to make sure all their payments for rent, food, transportation, etc. are made before they’ll spend on things that don’t matter so much.
Western men usually will spend more loosely, but we also are taught to be cautious, and still have our toys, like motorcycle, snowmobile, gas barbeque, etc. And so it is much different.
I think the hard part for western men who give to their thai friends and lovers is that it’s not appreciated. It’s NOT just money, but most of the time that money is earned by very hard work in their own countries. In other words, most white men aren’t rich in their own society.
But a good white man may be generous cos he likes her, he wants to help, he sees the poverty in the family. But it’s a mistake cos it’s not seen as precious money, but just a gift from the gods and so is to be used to bring happiness, even though money won’t buy that.
And so after awhile most white men learn to give less, much less, and maybe stop giving at all. And then the girl, or family, just goes back to being poor, until another sucker white guy shows up cos she’s pretty and desirable…
Daen,
I am from middle class family in Bangkok got scholarship and went to school in England. my family can’t afford to buy me any toy when i was young so now i buy anything of everything as i can afford it coz i thought it make me happy. so when i get older i spend less and less as i got everything that i ever want it.. still spend some money on more cloths and shoe Ect. sometime shopping make people happy..i guess so i am not blame them if they do. but need to limited how much that you can afford and responsibility in your family . so i don’t have anyone that i need to taking care of . so i never thought about spend money it bad thing to me.. as i worked hard for it so i deserved what ever i want..it that sound bad to you as Thai girl who live and work overseas still views money that way?
What you say here supports what I say: you likely earn your own money and so can spend it like you want. That is responsible living. And yes, you learned thru life experience that spending on certain things is only a temporary fix, and others satisfy much more.
If a Thai woman lives and works abroad, then she learns what money means the hard way, and will send a lot to her poor provincial family, and have a little left for herself.
This is very different from the Thai women who go online to find a sweet sugar daddy to keep them like a queen in the city or resort town.
well ..I don’t know about you but most of western who come to Thailand and spend money on the young girl .. ( as you call sugar daddy ) i think he not feel good about himself and hopefully by have someone who much younger than his age to take him around to show off on other that how good he is that woman want to be with him.. ( again like old Thai man as well) i guess men in general will do that specially he got a lots to offer her.. woman who doing that have to handle society as become who ever you will call her??? it all about choice in life .. someone choose to live that way and someone choose to pay other that make him happy… even in the end of story not quite happy ending as they expected .
I have met many Thai girls, especially from north eastern area, who are like this. Some of them are gold diggers. The y will look for western man only. One girl told me that English men ar their favourite becasue of the high exchange rate. Europeans are also famouse among these girls, but North American men not so much. They will buy properties in their name before they married to him, so to be said that the house, land, gold, etc. are hers before marriage. I was disgusted by the way the act, talk and show how much they have from western husband or boyfriend. Some will find a western man for their sisters, cousins, friends and relatives. Parents will teach them how good it is to have farang husband, go for it girl! One of the lady i know is dating the married man from England. The man continues to fund her (give her salary) for 4 years, and the lady thinks that someday he will get divoce and marry her. She said ” He loves me and I love him, and I don’t care if he still have his wife in the UK. Sometimes I just think this is my job. I make him happy. He pays me and that’s it” This lady secretly think that she is unofficail married to him. She wears her ring just like how married western women would do (engagement ring and wedding band together) to show people who don’t know her situation thin that she is married to him. I don’t understand why she has to try so hard to win this married man. Does she have any selfworth? Sad….
Pam:
In Thailand being a kept woman is a job.
The Thai even have a term for it: “mia noi”.
It means minor, or 2nd, wife (though a man may have more than one). Its a bit more than a girlfriend or mistress in the Western sense (where its unacceptable), as you may well have children and a home together etc….unbeknownst to the #1 wife; for Thai wives do not question their husbands.
We don’t have a term for “mia noi” in the West as there is no such thing. Here its part of the culture, though its a private affair usually, and not spoken about per say. A true “mia noi” is usually expensive and provided with a home, car money…. unaffordable for most men. Many, maybe even most, are or were “working girls”…many not so.
So it is perfectly natural for a Thai girl to be happy being a “mia noi” or kept woman for a farang who sends her money and adores her. It is her job indeed, to care for him when he wants. “What’s love got to do with it?”
Of course they’re gold-diggers. Ever stayed in one of their village homes? You wouldn’t wonder for very long why they’re on their backs in Bangkok for a 1,000 Bt a pop and looking to win the farang lottery.
I know quite a few Thai girls (the bar/agogo type), and have lived a a few as well….. They prefer Japanese above all others because they are foolishly generous….but the Japanese are picky.
Of Westerners they find Scandinavian men most attractive because they have money and take very good care of them. And being rather cool-hearted about romance…. and more about money…like the Thai girls themselves… they are well-suited for each other.
Its good to have a little empathy and put yourself in their shoes before you pass harsh judgments on others.
Pam
i share your sadness, esp when it comes to their intentions to land a bankroll thru the ATM called “white farang.” Of course economic/financial concerns are very much a reality in SE Asian countries where the govt and other institutions specialize in greed that corrupts the country’s ability to provide for its own, but when anyone forfeits his/her own heart for money, then of course a sort of personal death, esp. over time, occurs. Life is imperfect, yes, but the choices we often make definitely don’t help…
Kevin,
Thanks for your comments here.
Yet there is a distinction between being a kept woman and a gold-digger. The kept woman has taken on the accepted role of all-around partner when he’s with here, yes, but the goldigger has somehow lost her way. So the culturally acceptable arrangement of the kept woman works; the moneygrubber who may no longer need it cos of her lifestyle choices years ago is another issue…
I live in the Philippines and have had a Thai girlfriend also on Phuket, and there are some differences, but the arrangement of matters around money and sex is essentially the same. In fact, the mercenary feeling that is part of Asian culture much more than in the west is hard to get around. In other words, doing less than favorable or ‘wise’ things for money is almost perfectly acceptable. Let’s add, however, that if those same countries allowed young people opportunity, few of them would need or want to latch onto a farang to make a life. Alas, not so…
Daen:
You’re final sentence is most pertinent.
In these 3rd-world Asian countries, a small elite wealthy class hold the money and the power. They keep the poor class “enslaved” by depriving them of education, political power (witness the military governments now ruling Thailand and Burma’s “democracies”) and any chance or opportunity for economic advancement.
Poor rural Thai have the singular disadvantage of having never been a colony (they call an honor) and hence have not mastered the English or any other language but their own (the upper class excepted), further hobbling their opportunities in the widening world. To this day they have no real public education system or vehicle of escape.
The prostitution/sex industry, and farang who finance it, offer a golden opportunity for a poor Thai country girl, especially if she is intelligent.
A good example of this is Nang, a girl I met when she was 20 and lived with for several years. She knew thew value of learning excellent English from me and computer skills, and was beautiful enough to be a selective freelance “working girl” the whole time she stayed with me. We both knew that I lacked the funds to provide the house in Isan and that her future was with a wealthier farang outside of Thailand, a goal I encouraged; (though I never did anything like pimp her to farang prospects).
She left me after five years (and I don’t regret one minute of my time with her) and last I knew was headed to Holland.
Nang told me that the guy in Holland loved her (good luck with that after knowing each other two weeks), and I mentioned that she didn’t say she loved him. She replied “No problem. If I get to Holland and I don’t like him I can find new man in Holland easy.” She’s probably right.
I call it looking after #1 (and her family) and not being a gold-digger. Its simply practical to cash in on your greatest (or only) assets, in her case great beauty and a clever enough mind to make the most of it.
I miss her like hell….but life goes on and I wish her the best.
I’ve have come to believe that marriage (or marriage -type ) relationships are more custodial than romantic in Thai culture. Even among the higher classes many are arranged or come about based on family status and money.
The only Thai who marry outside their class are prostitutes who marry farang.
And I have nothing bad to say about it. I’m on their side.
Yes, i know the feeling that creeps into our hearts about keeping the poor SE asians poor. After all, if these countries got their acts together, their currency would appreciate, and we’d no longer be able to live so plentifully here.
As for Nang … this is complex. I recently met a young 20 year old filipina, a mountain girl w a short experience w another “foreigner” … and she wants to marry me before she knows me… She’s lovely, bright yet characteristically simple, and has a body to match. She’s not obsessed with having kids, but she’s oh so young. Most white farang here are with 20 year olds and I’ve held my ground against having a partner who’s younger than my own kids, and it’s hard cos most young women who are older than 24/25 have at least one little one. And so the custodial thing you mention isn’t exclusive to Thailand: the grinding poverty and the lackluster drive that goes along with it, the laidback whatever lifestyle, combine to create this financial vacuum that is only overcome by the strongest in each family. I carved my own way out of poverty into a good life, and yet don’t know the depths of despair that these people contend with cos i wasn’t born into poverty.
And so, as you suggested much further up this column, it’s complicated. And yet, in many ways, it’s just human stuff. It”s much easier to reach out toward someone who offers an instant life transformation than to struggle thru life toward a better future the hard way. The relative indolence is pervasive here, likely more than in Thailand, and so an odd mix of pathetic apathy, like algae in a stagnant pond, is the order of the day…
Hmmmmm….
Thank you for posting your observations, “Anonymous.” I’ve come to notice the same kind of spending habits from my Thai girlfriend, too. I keep her on a budget and I never veer from it no matter who is pressuring her from the family to tap me for some kind of payment. When it’s gone, it’s gone. And nothing more until I get paid myself. I’ve slowly whittled down her allowance, too, with no explanation. Anyway, it’s a good read, your article. Informative, too.