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A Long Return To Thailand – Part 3

By Inspector Cowboy

November 27, 2010

I awoke at nearly midnight with Jeab in my arms. I felt totally worn out which I guess was a result of the excitement of the past few days, jet-lag and making love with Jeab. I lay there for a few moments my nostrils filled with the scent of Jeab’s hair, listening to the distant sound of traffic from Second Road. I was ravenously hungry and gently let go of Jeab as I went to the shower. Jeab stirred slightly but remained asleep. The air conditioning had made the room cool and I switched on a bedside lamp. I stood under the shower trying to decide whether I would go out and take Jeab with me, go out and send Jeab home, stay in my room with Jeab or stay in my room without Jeab. Such are the decisions to be made in Thailand.

I decided to leave Jeab sleeping while I went downstairs to have a drink in the hotel bar. Half expecting to meet green stripe polo shirt I entered the lift and descended to the ground floor. I could hear the music from the bar opposite as I ordered a Heineken and sat down with my thoughts. The bar was virtually empty with only a couple of guys accompanied by Thai ladies. They spoke in hushed tones as I stood up to collect a copy of the Bangkok Post from the newspaper rack. As I did this I heard a voice behind me.

“Mind if I join you mate?”

The accent was unmistakably Australian and belonged to a guy who looked to be in his mid-thirties, about my height with a short military type haircut wearing light blue jeans, a white shirt and suede desert boots.

“Yes, no problem, sit down here, fancy a beer? I’m Gerry from England”. We shook hands.

“My name’s Jim I’m from Sydney”.

I got Jim a bottle of Singha and I got a bottle of Heineken, we sat down at a table with a view through the window of the soi. Jim was in Pattaya on holiday and this was his first night. He had arranged to meet some friends in Pattaya but their flight was delayed and they’d decided to spend the night in Bangkok.

“Great place mate” said Jim taking a hearty glug from his beer.

“My first time here Jim, got here this morning and things are going fine so far”. My mind wandering briefly to wonder what Jeab was doing upstairs. I’d locked all my valuables in the room safe and hated doing it because I wanted to trust everyone but better to be safe than sorry.

“What you got planned tonight?” said Jim as his eyes followed a couple of young ladies walking up the soi towards Second Road.

“Nothing at the moment mate, any ideas?”

Of course Jim had ideas. We discussed our plans and I quickly made the decision to relieve Jeab of her duties and hit the town with Jim. I caught the lift upstairs and knocked on the room door. Jeab opened the door almost immediately, smiling wrapped in a white towel and wearing a shower cap. I explained I was going out with my friend from the bar and would she give me her telephone number. I didn’t know exactly how to say I wanted her to go but she got the message but not before peeling off her towel and standing naked in front of me saying, “I horny tilac”. My return to the hotel bar and my new friend Jim took slightly longer than I anticipated. I introduced Jeab to Jim before she went on her merry way laden with baht.

It was getting towards one o’clock in the morning as Jim and myself jumped into a baht bus and headed towards Soi 8. Jim had been to Soi 8 earlier in the evening and recommended we revisit. We paid the baht bus driver his fare and entered Soi 8. Soi 8 runs parallel to Soi 13 between Second Road and Beach Road further north along the coast. It is lined by bars on both sides and is about 150 metres in length. As we arrived the bars were closing but it was still possible to have a drink outside the bars and the place was buzzing with people. The lights in the bars had been turned off and the volume of the music was reduced but there was still a fun atmosphere with hundreds of people still partying. Girls, and ladyboys, were in abundance all around us as we drank our beers and took in the scenery. We were soon joined by a couple of girls, Bom and Art. Bom latched onto Jim and Art seemed to take a liking to me. We bought them drinks which looked more like works of art than a beverage and settled down to talk away and watch the activities on Soi 8. Art spoke excellent English and we were soon deep in conversation about nothing in particular. I endured the now familiar interrogation – name, duration of stay, name of hotel, how old, wife? Girlfriend? Where you go? etc. The answers I gave seemed to satisfy both Art and myself as the crowds on Soi 8 thinned slightly. Bom got up to go and get some food for her and Jim so I asked Art if she wanted anything. Art smiled and said yes so she joined Bom on the food run. I was looking forward to something to eat as I hadn’t eaten since the chicken and fruit earlier in the day. I asked Jim how he was getting on and I got the response, “Bonzer” which I took to mean things were going great with him and Bom. We got another couple of beers from a very tall ladyboy who had now assumed waitress duties for us. Bom and Art returned clutching a veritable feast which included a doner kebab, a couple of burgers, some som tam, a fish with what looked like garlic, lime and chilli, a few bags of sticky rice and some noodles and we all tucked in although I noticed the girls gave the burgers and kebab a wide berth.

The food finished we ordered more beers and spectacular beverages for the girls and talked about moving on. Bom suggested we went to a disco she knew was open until the morning. Jim and myself didn’t take much persuading as we quickly finished our drinks and hopped into a passing baht bus. I sat next to Art on one side of the baht bus and opposite Bom and Jim held each other as we commenced our breakneck speed journey to the mystery destination. We turned inland away from the sea. I recognised the road we were on from my journey into Pattaya the previous morning as we passed some very large hotels. The street lights became more sparse and darkness seemed to envelope us as we travelled to our mystery destination. Suddenly the baht bus slowed and in front of us stood a huge warehouse type structure adorned with flashing neon lights. It was like an oasis in the middle of darkness with what seemed like hundreds of Thai men and women along with farangs accompanied by Thai girls. Art and Bom seemed very excited to have arrived as we alighted the baht bus and paid the driver.

Outside the queue to enter the venue snaked around the side of the building. There were dozens of food carts sprinkled around the place along with small stalls selling beer and soft drinks to those in the queue. Bom and Art disappeared for a couple of minutes and reappeared clutching bags of what I thought were chocolate chip cookies although on closer inspection they were deep fried baby frogs which both Art and Bom nibbled on voraciously. They offered Jim and myself a frog each but we both politely declined causing the girls to giggle furiously no doubt revelling in the awkwardness of the two farangs.

The girls entered the venue free of charge and both Jim and myself were charged an admission fee which included a free drink. Inside, the place was jumping. Literally hundreds of Thai’s and farangs dancing and having fun. The venue was enormous and was adorned with flashing lights, huge sheets hanging from the ceiling and a stage where I presumed a band would play at some point. Everybody seemed to be having a great time. Suddenly the music stopped and everybody started chanting something in Thai, the noise got louder as the chanting became louder and louder. Me and Jim looked at each other laughing and at the same time feeling slightly excluded. Bom and Art were jumping up and down laughing hysterically and shouting, it seemed the whole place was going to explode when the lights flashed even faster, the noise built to a crescendo and there were three enormous loud bangs. This was when I noticed what looked like foam being shot out of what seemed to be huge drainpipes at the side of the stage. The foam shot up into the air seemingly covering everything. The girls were now besides themselves jumping up and down screaming as they were progressively covered with the foam. We all became unrecognisable as the music started up again and people danced, jumped around and melted into a huge mass of foam and humanity. It was mind-blowingly hysterically funny.

Eventually the hysteria subsided and Jim and myself located Art and Bom who had by now de-foamed themselves. They were still in the vicinity but appeared to be shell-shocked after the excitement of the foam. It obviously wasn’t the first time Bom and Art had attended the foam night and judging by how much they had enjoyed it, it wouldn’t be the last.

We left at around five o’clock and wearily made our way towards a queue of baht buses parked on the road that passed the foam warehouse. Art and Bom by now had stopped talking and entered the Thai girl mode of tiredness where nothing short of a firework up the arse would rouse them. We all returned to the hotel in the baht bus tired, happy and looking forward to a good nights sleep. We caught the lift up to our respective floors, me with Art and Jim with Bom and said our goodnights.

Art and myself slept like the proverbial logs, naked and entwined.

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My Love Affair With Thailand – Part VII

By Inspector Cowboy

November 16, 2010

Nok was awake before me the following morning, she was putting my things in my suitcase more neatly than I could ever manage. I lay watching her for a few minutes drinking her in knowing my time in this wonderful country was limited. She noticed me lying there watching her and leant over to kiss me. I put my arms around her and pulled her onto the bed. I wanted to stay with her, with all the ladies I had met in Bangkok.

I had to vacate the room by midday and it was getting close to the deadline. I was in two minds as to whether I should take Nok to the airport with me or go on my own. I hate railway station and airport goodbye’s but I wanted to spend every last minute I could with Nok. I said nothing to her about the airport as we continued to pack. I had taken some pictures during my stay that I wanted Nok to have so I had planned to visit a 1 hour picture processing shop a short walk from the hotel entrance. I explained this to Nok who excitedly took the film to the shop for me. I also asked her to order breakfast for us while she was in the hotel lobby. Twenty minutes later there was a knock on the room door and when I answered I was confronted by a giggling Nok accompanied by the lady who, a couple of days earlier, had delivered the breakfast for Tuk, Meow and myself. They both pushed the breakfast trolley into the room where Nok unloaded it onto the table. The lady got another tip and as I handed it to her she gave me a knowing smile. Thankfully the volume of the order was nowhere near the banquet I had enjoyed a couple of days before but nevertheless it was substantial. Nok had a big bowl of tum yum koong and some rice along with some fruit and a flower which I don’t think was for eating. I had some bacon, toast, tea and tomatoes. After breakfast we checked the room for anything I may have left behind. I noticed the Pink Panther toothbrush all alone in the bathroom and decided to leave it there.

In reception I paid my bill and arranged to stow my bag in the storage room for a couple of hours while I made some last minute errands. We collected the photographs from the photo-processing shop and I gave Nok her pictures which she was very pleased with, examining them very closely and smiling. I couldn’t see my tuk tuk friend outside the hotel but recognised a couple of the guys from our barbecue activities over the past few days. I said my goodbyes and wished them all the best with them shouting names of English football teams as I returned to the hotel with Nok. We went to the hotel bar for a drink as we killed time waiting for the inevitable parting.

Nok had undoubtedly experienced the Thailand parting many scores and possibly hundreds of times before but I was a complete novice. I didn’t want to turn into a blubbering wreck nor did I want to appear indifferent. As I drank my Heineken I asked Nok if she would come to the airport with me. She immediately said yes with just the right amount of emotion. Looking pleased I had asked but not going overboard. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I asked if there was anything she needed. She smiled and shook her head. I wanted to buy her a present as we are conditioned to do so in the west but knowing that money would be a more attractive option for her I decided to give her a bonus when I paid her at the airport.

With the time now going past too quickly for my liking I told Nok it was time to go and went to collect my bag from the storage room, I thanked the staff for their service and left a tip on the reception desk. As I passed the excursion desk I glanced across hoping to catch the eye of my nearly friend but she was busy trying to convince a young couple that a cruise down the river by moonlight was a great idea. Nok and myself emerged out into the sunshine to await the taxi I had ordered. Also outside the hotel were a South African couple in their mid-twenties who looked as though they had come straight from Khao San Road. They were concerned as their taxi had not arrived and they were late for their flight. I explained there were taxi’s passing the end of the road every second but they said they had paid at the hotel reception for a taxi and they had just a few baht left. I was a little annoyed when I realised that I may have to share my taxi with this couple when I wanted to make the journey to the airport alone with Nok. Furthermore the South African couple had a mountain of rucksacks, sleeping bags, roll-up mattress mats and gifts. In fact I could feel a rage building. I could always refuse to let them join us but that would be selfish and mean so I hoped the next taxi to arrive would be theirs. I told them to enquire at hotel reception as to the whereabouts of their taxi but as with so many of the youth today they seemed incapable of doing this. I was starting to want to punch the guy in the mouth as his whining voice droned on and his girlfriend was equally annoying due to the fact she made her hair pigtails in a particularly stupid way. A taxi approached the hotel and indicated to pull in beside where we were standing. I was praying it was for them but as God doesn’t exist my prayers weren’t answered, it was my taxi, more specifically it was the taxi I had hired to take me and Tuk alone to the airport. At no point had I ever asked anyone to share it, least of all a couple of whining South African backpackers.

We all piled into the taxi complete with dirty rucksacks on our knees and sleeping bags filling the boot. I sat in the front with a box containing a wooden Buddha on my knee. Nok was in the back clutching a rolled up sleeping bag and I didn’t really care about the backpackers. The journey to the airport was in total silence apart from the driver occasionally trying to make polite conversation. Thank goodness it wasn’t a Porntaxi, that would have been too much.

Arriving at the airport the driver asked me for a tip which I declined to give him. To be fair it wasn’t his fault but I was in no mood to converse with anyone. I deliberately dropped the wooden Buddha on the floor as I got out of the taxi and immediately regretted my immaturity. The South Africans disappeared with their belongings after thanking us both and I turned my attention to Nok. I apologised to her but I think she was blissfully unaware of the turmoil I was experiencing. She probably thought all farangs travelled like that.

I met up with Nok after I had checked in for my flight and we went upstairs to the bar with me hoping I wouldn’t see the South Africans drinking champagne and tucking into canapés and caviar. Thankfully they were nowhere to be seen. I needed a drink after the shenanigans of the previous hour or two. I had mentioned smoked salmon to Nok a few days before and she had told me she didn’t know what it was so when I saw it on the bar menu I asked her if she wanted some. She laughed and said she would “lub” to have some. I ordered some along with a beer and water for Nok. We sat in silence, me thinking of the past few days and the fantastic memories I had. I have no idea what Nok was thinking because she didn’t tell me and I didn’t ask. The smoked salmon arrived on a silver plate and Nok tucked in. She seemed to enjoy it and grinned as I watched her eat. I had ordered some salami and ciabatta which Nok was also keen to try which she did and polished off most of mine aswell as her smoked salmon. When Nok excused herself to go to the toilet I left some money under her handbag.

It was now time for my flight so we stood up to go downstairs and I noticed Nok pick up the money without counting it and put it in her purse. I hope she was happy with the amount I gave her. We then went downstairs where I paid for my exit visa and Nok stood silently watching me. This was the crunch. I looked at Nok, she looked at me. We both had tears in our eyes and we held each other tightly for a few moments. I held my face close to hers and gave her a sniff kiss causing her to hold me even tighter for a brief moment. We then separated, held hands for one last moment as I turned and walked away.

Goodbye Nok and goodbye Thailand.

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Thai Spec vs. Farang Spec

By Ruai

December 12, 2009

I heard these terms from a Thai person several years ago and thought they were somewhat humorous. If you don’t know what they are they are basically a way to describe what Thai guys are into versus what Farang guys are into in terms of women.

According to this Thai theory, Thai guys are into tall, white skinned girls and Farang guys are into short, brown girls. On the surface it would appear to be true if you hang out in Thailand and see what Thais consider attractive and what you see Farangs married to.

All Thai advertising features very white skinned girls who almost look like farangs. In fact, many top models in Thailand are luk kreung (ลูกครึ่ง) which is basically half farang and half Thai. Tata Young, Paula Taylor, Sririata Jensen, and Sonia Couling are luk kreung. Girls who aren’t luk kreung who are also considered highly attractive according to Thais are the Thai-Chinese blend (Thainese) coming from families where the parents several generations ago migrated to Thailand from China and mixed with the local population.

Luk kreung / Thai-Spec model Sririta Jensen

On the other hand, if you take a walk around Bangkok or anywhere else in Thailand you will mostly see farangs arm in arm with your typical Isaan looking girl. Darker skin, short, and clearly Isaan facial features.

Farang-Spec Girl

I think for farangs we appreciate the dark skin as being exotic where the Thais (and most Asians) think it signals lower class or status. In other words, I think we’re open minded about skin color and such since we see so much racial mixing in our own countries and we consider a brown tone to be a sign of health as pasty white often signals some sort of illness.

That being said, I question whether or not these Thai/Farang specs are entirely accurate. I’m sure there are some guys who specifically prefer the Isaan look but I think for the vast majority of Farang guys it’s more an issue of who we are likely to interact with.

Whether it be go-go dancers in Nana Plaza or the girl serving us dinner at a local restaurant around the corner from your condo, chances are you meet far more Isaan looking women than you do Thai spec women. So the women you are likely to ask out and date are far more likely to be supposed Farang Spec than Thai Spec.

You also have to look at the social dynamics at play as well. A Thai-Spec girl probably has guys falling all over themselves to ask her out. She is not only getting attention from Thais but from farangs as well. And if she’s very attractive and very Thai Spec she is getting attention from very well heeled men both farang and Thai. This means she probably won’t spend a long time being “available” and will get snapped up and married very quickly which further reduces the number of available Thai Spec women.

But an attractive Isaan woman is in a different class. First off, if she comes from a poor family then status conscious Thai men won’t seriously consider her for anything more than a casual fling. That means her pool of available men is other Thai guys of her own class or farangs who are not as class conscious. That puts a disproportionate number of attractive Farang-Spec women in the dating pool for farang men.

So, farang men can either battle it out in the competitive pool for Thai-Spec women or they can look for love in the less competitive Farang-Spec arena. I don’t think it’s preference in type so much as most men simply find it easier to meet and date a Farang-Spec women than it would be to meet and date a Thai-Spec girl.

But just like men have their debates about blonds versus brunettes or asses versus boobs, there are men who really do prefer the Farang-Spec looking girls. Everybody is going to have their biases and preferences so it’s difficult to say that the Farang Spec and Thai Spec distinction is a myth but I don’t think it’s anywhere as near universal as many Thais believe it is.

[Farang-Spec photo taken from JonathanFun.com]

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Good Thai Girls and Bad Thai Girls – Is There More to the Story?

By Anonymous

September 29, 2009

One frustrating thing about talking about Thai girls is that it’s so easy to make these huge generalizations due to the fact that us farangs aren’t really very well tuned into how Thai society and culture work. Some people try to delineate at the highest level putting Thai girls into Good and Bad camps. Good girls are the girls who have never worked in a bar and Bad girls are those who have worked in a bar. But the reality is a lot more complex than that.

What I’ve done below it attempt to map out a very high-level breakdown of Thai women that goes a little deeper than Good and Bad to demonstrate the multiple levels of complexity when talking about a Thai girl.

Please note: The sizes don’t necessarily represent their relative size. For instance, I’m not implying that the size of one group is larger than the other based on the size of the circles used to represent each group. The size was somewhat a factor of the amount of information that had to be fit into the area. Nor do the colors mean anything other than to distinguish between circles.

And this a look at someplace like Bangkok. Obviously if you’re out in the jungles in some Isaan backwater village then the definitions might change slightly and some of the dots might move around.

Also, please note: This is not definitive. Perhaps others might have different perspectives which can be expanded on in future posts or in the comments. I’m sure we all know exceptions to this but as previously stated this is simply trying to drill down a little farther than Good and Bad.

First off, let’s take a look at each group.

Traditional Thai Girls: These are the girls that you hear about that wash, cook, clean, and do everything to make sure that their husband or boyfriend is content. They tend to be very loyal, careful with money, and trustworthy. She may or may not be university educated but most will not be.

You might notice that I did have them overlapping with both Modern Girls and Mercenaries. Some Traditional Thai Girls are between being Traditional and Modern. I think these are the most likely to want to date farangs because they feel that farang men are more caring and will treat them better emotionally. Likewise, in the Mercenary overlap these are the girls most likely to want to marry a farang who will take care of them financially.

Modern Thai Girls: Thai society is changing and as the country becomes more urbanized Thai girls are following suit. They expect more out of a relationship than just cooking and cleaning for their husbands. They want a modern lifestyle. Whereas most Traditional Thai Girls are not university educated I would guess half or more Modern Thai Girls are.

Mercenaries: This isn’t really a new group but a way of showing the relationship between Thai girls and whether or not they’re driven primarily out of money. By that I mean greed. Of course nobody wants to marry a deadbeat but the difference between a mercenary and another type of girl is that money is absolutely the first and last thing she’s looking for in a guy.

Please note that Mercenaries should cover the entire area of the Prostitutes circle but I really couldn’t get a good shape that fit well in the diagram.

Prostitutes: Need I say more? Some might argue that your typical bar girl fresh from the village is more like a Traditional Thai Girl than a Modern Thai Girl born and raised in Bangkok but since the time from village girl to beyond repair is usually under six months it just seemed to make sense to put them squarely in the Modern Thai Girl circle.

Hi-So: I’ve chosen to use a more liberal definition here and include the hi-so wannabes. To me hi-so isn’t a definition of wealth so much as it’s a lifestyle one leads or tries to lead. You’ll notice that I’ve created an overlap with Party Girls since many Hi-So girls and almost all wannabes tend to be Party Girls. I’ve also overlapped them with Prostitutes because many will hop in bed with a guy if the right amount of cash is being thrown around. They might also be mia-nois for a wealthy Thai guy, which in my book makes them prostitutes.

Party Girls: There’s a wide range here but it could be your girls who you will find out at RCA or Ekkamai every weekend and know every hot DJ playing in Bangkok to a girl who just likes to go out and get hammered with her friends every weekend wherever they have the cheapest drinks. Again, they overlap with Prostitutes because many will be living beyond their paycheck and often need to sleep around to raise a little cash to keep up the lifestyle.

Tweeners: I honestly can’t remember who coined this phrase but the first time I heard it it instantly became a favorite because it so perfectly describes the girls who are constantly on the lookout to trade up in life. This is the type of girl who wants nothing to do with Thai guys and is looking to score the Big Kahunna Whitey. But as soon as she’s landed herself one she’s on the lookout for one a little richer, more handsome, or nicer. She never is and probably will never be satisfied with her lot in life and she’s always looking for the next rung on the ladder. I overlapped the Tweener with the Prostitute because while most are constantly in a relationship with a current boyfriend (until the next one comes along) they’re opportunistic enough to bang for cash if the right offer were made.

Freelancers: Some might be surprised that I only did a partial overlap with Prostitutes. The reason for this is because many are only part-timers. Some have full-time jobs and sleep with customers for money to make ends meet or if they have some other immediate need for quick cash. In fact, that’s the case for a surprising number of girls you meet in the afterhours clubs like Spice, Boss, etc.

Bar Girls and Massage Girls: Technically you could further slice and dice both groups into things like go-go vs. beer bar girls or 2000 a throw massage girls vs. the Penthouse models who will give you a soapy for 7,000. However, I think that level of detail is beyond the scope of this particular look at Thai girls. Both groups are squarely in the Prostitute circle as most make all or a good portion of their income off of the sex trade.

So now perhaps we can get away from these broad terms like Good and Bad since it’s obvious that just because your gf has never worked in a bar doesn’t mean she isn’t a Mercenary nor does it even mean that she’s truly a Traditional Thai Girl. She might be a Tweener or even a secret Freelancer. She could be a Party Girl who’s been around the block more than a few times.

Both the terms Good and Bad are too easy to mistake for being measures of their character when in reality the people underneath those labels are anything but good or bad. They are simply people with the same virtues and faults you can find in any other group of people.

I welcome comments, disagreements, pontifications, and insults. This is just a first draft at an attempt to elevate the conversation about Thai girls from being a binary choice between good and bad.

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Hot or Not? What Thai Girls Look for in a Foreign Guy

By Danny.Nomad

August 11, 2009

Given the huge cultural differences between Thailand and the West, its not surprising that what’s hot in one culture may not be all that in the other. In the two years I’ve lived in Thailand, I’ve seen guys that would be considered pretty average back home end up with super hot Thai girls. On the other hand, I’ve seen guys, who back home would do quite well, get ignored by very average Thai girls. So what’s the deal? Well, after extensive scientific investigation (read: many nights spent partying in clubs) I’ve come to the following conclusions about what’s hot or not in Thailand, which should be of use to any hopeful romantics in the country.

Thai girls want something different – but not that different

The first clue as to what Thai girls want involves looking at the other half of the Thai race: Thai men. Virtually all Thai girls in their 20’s or older will have dated at least one Thai guy in the past. The majority of Thai guys tend to be short, thin, and somewhat effeminate. Foreigners, on the other hand, tend to be taller, heavier built, and more masculine. All these factors can definitely work in the foreign man’s favor – but only in moderation. Most Thai girls want a man who is tall and strong – but not some huge body builder or muscle freak. In fact, most romantically successful foreign guys in Thailand tend to be relatively slim and effeminate compared to other foreigners – though of course larger and more masculine than the average Thai male. So if you read body building magazines and spend hours at the gym pumping iron, you might want to lay off the steroids for awhile before booking a flight to Thailand.

Case Study: The Vin Diesel type is better off staying at Home

Back in the West, a hyper masculine guy with a strong, muscular build like Vin Diesel would probably be considered very attractive to a lot of girls. Not so in Thailand. See point #1. Don’t forget that the average Thai girl is fairly short and as thin as a stick – she’d probably be terrified of someone Vin Diesel’s size! On the other hand, a guy who looks like Matt Damon – someone who is slim, strong, yet with a slightly effeminate face – would do very well in Thailand. So nurture your metrosexual side and you may have to beat off the girls with a stick.

The Clothes Make the Man

Its been written over and over again that keeping a high standard of personal hygiene and dressing with a little class does wonders for the foreign male’s chances of winning over a beautiful Thai girl. Well, most foreign guys in Thailand must be too busy downing yet another Chang to do much reading, because its amazing how poor most foreigners dress in Thailand. I’m not even referring to the neo-hippy backpackers because that’s a whole different story, but to the middle aged guys who show up to a club wearing sandals, shorts, and a Red Bull tank top. In any decent club, restaurant, or bar, the average Thai male will be wearing nice shoes, designer jeans, and a stylist dress shirt. Follow suit and you will instantly be elevating yourself above 90% of the foreigners in Thailand, and receiving much more attention from the opposite sex to boot.

Skin Color Does Matter

Its unfortunate but true: in Thailand, people are judged all the time based on skin tone. The whiter the skin, the more attractive, wealthy, and elite a person is perceived to be. Little wonder then that the supermarkets are filled with skin-whitening products, that many Thai girls will carry around an umbrella to block out the sun’s rays, and that Thai models are so pale they look like they haven’t been exposed to sunlight since they stopped wearing diapers. Therefore, a foreign male who gets a kick out of burning his skin to a crisp reddish brown on the islands before hitting the clubs in Bangkok shouldn’t be too surprised when Thai girls don’t give him a second glance. Of course, most Caucasian foreign guys who arrive in Thailand are pretty white to begin with, so as long as you don’t seek out the sun, you should be fine. On the other hand, African-Americans, Indians, and Arabs who arrive in Thailand will be at a distinct disadvantage in the dating arena due to their darker shade of skin.

Loose the Beer Gut

If there’s one physical feature that’s an almost universal turn-off to Thai girls, it’s a large beer belly. Of course, loosing weight is easier said than done, and poor genes or a slowing metabolism sure don’t help. Neither does the widespread availability of cheap beer in Thailand or that huge portion of bangers’n’mash at your favorite expat restaurant. However, by following a few simple tips, it can be relatively easy to stabilize your weight or even drop a few pounds in Thailand. First off, if you must drink, better stick with whiskey & soda rather than the ubiquitous beer, which is heavy in calories. Secondly, Thai eateries generally serve meals of smaller portions and fewer calories than the typical gut-busting fare of an expat restaurant, so eat local and you’ll be shedding the pounds in no time. Fitter guys appear younger, healthier, and generally more desirable to Thai girls, so control your weight and notice the difference in the attention you receive from the Thai ladies.

When All Else Fails

Some of you readers must be thinking about the time (probably numerous times) you walked down a street in Bangkok and saw an old, overweight foreigner with zero fashion sense being escorted by a beautiful Thai girl half his age. Doesn’t that scene run counter to all of the above advice? It sure does, but remember that such men are likely being escorted to the nearest jewelry shop or ATM machine in a calculated bid to slowly relieve them of their life savings. The truth is, no matter what “look” a foreign guy has or how unattractive he may be perceived by Thai girls, there will always be some uneducated girls from disadvantaged backgrounds who will be more than willing to date him provided they receive material support in return. This may be great for foreign guys who would have no chance of scoring otherwise, but also depressing for many guys who feel like they are being “used” rather than genuinely loved. However, for the foreign guys out there who are looking for a beautiful, classy Thai girl that’s genuinely interested in true romance, then take the advice in this article to heart and you may very well find the girl of your dreams in Thailand.

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This Is Why You Don’t Start Fights With Thais

By Admin

June 17, 2009

If you haven’t heard the advice already allow me to tell you now that starting a physical altercation with a Thai is suicide. Thais very seldom one on one and they are known to be very patient in plotting their revenge even if you get the upper-hand the first go.

In this video we see some idiot getting out of line with a Thai and learning the hard way that when you fight one Thai you fight them all.

Believe it or not this guy is actually lucky. If the bar lady hadn’t stepped in the rest of the Thai guys would have continued to beat him into a bloody pulp. With Thais the fight doesn’t end when you knock the other guy down, that’s when it really gets started.

So let that one be a lesson for you guys who like to pop off. The Thais will put up with a lot of crap from us farangs. They usually try to avoid conflict but once you cross that line expect no mercy.

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10 Profile Tips For Thai Girls on Social Networking Sites

By Ruai

June 13, 2009

You always see tips for guys on online dating and social networking websites but most of the advice for women is geared towards safety. Nobody takes the time to tell women what they’re doing wrong on their profiles and how they might improve their chances of landing themselves a nice farang.

Size Does Matter

Gals, seriously, you might as well post nothing rather than uploading that 5 x 5 pixel photo of you standing on the beach in Hua Hin taken from 500 meters away on a 200 baht camera phone.

Do yourself a favor and beg, borrow, or steal a camera and put a photo up there that guys can actually see what you look like.

Smile

Perhaps using your ID card photo as your profile pic isn’t such a good idea. Hell, put some height markers behind you and it might as well be a police booking photo. With the way that Thai women jump in front of the camera I find it hard to believe you don’t have a more flattering photo of yourself.

Cliché is So Cliché

There’s nothing wrong with doing something cliché except for the fact that it says that you have a limited capacity to think for yourself. Here are some things you might want to remove from your profile if you want to stand out from every other Thai girl out there.

Get rid of all the photos of you puffing your cheeks out and making a goofy face into the camera. After seeing the thousandth profile with the puffed cheeks shot it’s anything but cute.

Stop doing the peace sign in every photo. There are so many things wrong with this. First off, it just looks stupid. Second, many girls flip their hand around so instead of it being the peace sign it means “fuck off” to British people. Third is that some try to do it in close up shots which means that they form the V in front of their mouth making it a crude gesture which suggests oral sex with a woman.

Get rid of the following phrases from your profiles: “I not like liar.” “I looking for someone can take care me and my family.” “I Thai girl from Thailand.”

Get rid of the picture of you in traditional Thai dress unless you plan on showing up for our date dressed like that. The whole idea behind a profile photo is to give someone an idea of what they can expect if they meet you.

Get rid of the picture of you on graduation day. I’m no mathematician but even I can figure out that if you’re 29 that your graduation photo probably isn’t current. I know that in Thailand it may be a status thing to have graduated university but most online dating sites have a question about your level of education so fill that in and you can leave your 7 year old photo out of your profile.

I’m not sure what the fascination is with having your photo taken in an automobile but stop it. The photos inevitably are poorly composed and not very flattering. I could see if it was your way of showing that you’re wealthy enough to own a car but 99% of the photos are taken from the passenger side.

Can We Just Make Some Assumptions?

I think you can safely say that the vast majority of the world’s population doesn’t like liars, people who can’t stay faithful in a relationship, perverts, murderers, child molesters, people who insist on taking phone calls in the movie theatre, and the guy at the taxi stand outside the arrivals terminal at the airport. So, there’s really no need to say those things in your profile. If asking liars, butterflys, and guys cruising for webcam sex not to contact you was an effective way of warding them off then we could solve the world’s violent crime problems by making up t-shirts that said IF YOU ARE A MURDERER STAY AWAY.

Hey Baby

Even though you may have a niece or nephew who is the center of your world, unless you have a baby, leave photos of children out of your profile pics. It’s just confusing.

We’re Not THAT Stupid

Listen, I know that farangs have paid for a lot of buffalos back up in Isaan but when your profile says you live in Pattaya and you have a profile pic of you spread out seductively on a short-time hotel bed in nothing but your bra and panties exposing a large tattoo down your back, even we don’t believe that you’re an office worker.

Hey, I’m not against you girls marketing for customers or even trying to find a nice guy to take you out of the business but give us a small amount of credit for being able to know the difference between a traditional Thai girl and a working girl.

Leave Your Ex-Boyfriends Out of the Picture

There are few things as odd as seeing someone on a dating site or on a social networking site listing their objective as dating to have profile pics of them with other guys. Who is that young Thai guy you’re kissing on the cheek? Your brother? Your boyfriend? Worse yet is when the caption you’ve chosen for the picture is “The Most Special Person in My Life.” WTF is that supposed to mean?

And while we’re at it, pictures of you sucking back a Bacardi Breezer in some nightclub while some farang(s) has his arm around your hips doesn’t exactly scream “I’m single.”

Easy on the Melodrama

Drama is exactly what farang men don’t want. drop all of the melodramatic crap in your profiles and IM status. Here’s a sample of things I’ve run across in just the last few days:

I am swimming through the river of hell (Yeah, that’s the kind of girl you want to meet. Nothing says this is the girl of my dreams like a girl with problems.)

I feel like a lonely puppy (What??)

For you I would do anything (Okay, make me a sandwich)

Why is my life so horrible (Maybe her and the river of hell girl should get together)

When you left me I felt like I was going to die (Again, this is a generic status message. Who is she writing this to and why is she on a dating site and giving out her details if she’s still mourning her last relationship?)

Don’t Be Stingy With the Details

I enjoy writing so perhaps I have a bias towards the verbose but give us a little more than “Oh, I don’t know what to say about myself. If you want to know something, just ask.” I’m just not buying that you didn’t have time to ponder the question when you’ve uploaded 8000 photos of yourself, picked out the most garish profile theme I’ve ever seen, and have 14 songs and 72 videos that all start playing when you open your profile. Believe me, you’ve spent a lot of time and effort into making your profile page crash my browser so the least you can do is string together a paragraph or two about yourself.

Give English a Chance

I am not one of those people who thinks everyone in the world should speak English but if you’re looking to meet a farang guy writing your entire profile in Thai probably isn’t that helpful. It’s just simple marketing. 1.8 billion people speak English. 65 million people speak Thai. Considering there are 63 million Thai people living in Thailand and the rest are spread out over the rest of the globe the number of farang who can read and write Thai means only a very small number of farang men will ever read your profile.

Again, I’m not saying that you need to go out and learn English tomorrow. Get a friend, relative, or the guy who translates all of the bar girls’ emails in your village to do it for you.

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Annice Smoel Should Have Her Passport Revoked

By Anonymous

May 22, 2009

With so many emotions running high I thought it would be a good idea not to pass judgment on the case of Australian, Annice Smoel, who was accused of attempting to steal a bar mat from a bar in Phuket.

While I tried not to pass judgment, there was an immediate reaction to the whole incident when I first heard about it in the western media. My gut reaction was that we’re not hearing the whole story. Even though Thailand’s legal system is rather unique I don’t think Thai coppers normally throw respectable tourists in jail over a simple bar mat. I figured that at the worst they had asked her to pay some damages and a fine and for whatever reason she couldn’t or wouldn’t and then that’s normally how you get put in jail over relatively minor offenses.

Another thought that crossed my mind initially was that whoever was advising her in this matter seemed to doing her more harm than good. By taking her case to the world stage she was making it very difficult for anyone to back down. The Thai police don’t want to lose face which means that when you start broadcasting your story around the world you are giving them the ammunition they need to make an example out of your case by pursuing a lengthy investigation and judicial process in order to prove that the case is being handled in a fair and normal matter. The bar owner has no incentive to back down because then it’s open season on ripping him off. It’s a Mexican Standoff.

And, as I had suspected as the story began to unfold the sweet Annice Smoel started looking less and less innocent.

The bar mat was not some $1 or $2 trinket Smoel’s friends lifted but several reports put the replacement cost around $35 – $40 USD. People familiar with the bar at which the events happened have guessed that the only thing in the bar considered a mat that might cost such an amount would be the rubber floor mats which weigh nearly a kilo. How one could not notice someone putting a large rubber floor mat in your purse?

It would later be revealed that Ms. Smoel attempted to do a runner on the cops. The mere act of doing a runner on a copper who has detained you for questioning is a crime in and of itself in most civilized nations so even a drunken Ms. Smoel could not have been under the impression that she was deescalating the situation by committing another crime in an attempt to avoid the first.

We would learn that when Ms. Smoel was eventually apprehended she then became abusive with the police and even when back at the station made abusive and insulting comments to the chief of police. I don’t know the laws in every western country but there are still a few where you can be charged with being verbally abusive to the police. Surely, even if she was unaware of any sorts of laws, she couldn’t have believed that her behavior was helping her situation.

So far, even if this was all just a big prank played on her by her friends, her subsequent actions are worthy of some form of punishment in nearly every country.

But the thing that strikes me so wrong about all of this is the fact that no matter how little you know about Thai laws or how the police work here, doing a runner on the cops and then abusing everyone up and down the chain of command aren’t the actions of an innocent, normally law-abiding person, who happened to have been caught up in a prank gone wrong. They’re the actions of someone who feels above the law.

Let’s say that you’re ANYWHERE in the world and the police stop you and search your bag and find something stolen. If it were truly a joke gone wrong you apologize profusely to the police and explain what happened. Then you offer to apologize to the bar owner (knowing he will most likely be the one filing charges) and ask if you can make some sort of restitution to the bar owner for causing a hassle. Of course, this being Thailand, if the copper wants a little for his troubles you pay it, smile, and thank the officer for his understanding and helpfulness. Everyone goes away happy and you get to sleep in your own bed that night.

If this incident had played out in her home country and she stole a $35 – $40 item and then did a runner on the cops and became abusive while in custody do you think one newspaper anywhere in the world would have wasted even a single drop of ink to write about her plight? Of course not. It’s news because she’s banged up overseas and facing “up to” five years in jail.

The reason I quoted “up to” is because that is yet another bone I have to pick with press who covered the story. Five years is the maximum sentence. Maximum. Not the minimum. Not the likely sentence. Not the standard sentence. It’s the maximum. Yet I read not one single press item where they discussed what a likely sentence would be for a first time tourist offender. Or where there were mitigating circumstances.

You hear it all the time in the US, UK, Australia and all the other countries that were loudly publicizing the case. “Mr. Jones faces a possible five year prison sentence but legal experts agree that he will likely receive time served and a fine.”

The truth was that what she got in the end was just about that. She got a six month suspended sentence and a $38 fine which the governor of Phuket paid for her.

And I’ll take a wild guess and say had she offered to pay $38 when the police originally stopped her she would have saved herself two nights in a jail cell and being detained in Thailand for three weeks.

Many people commenting on message boards and such have tried to give her the benefit of the doubt saying maybe she wasn’t that familiar with how things worked. But in an interview she did after arriving back in Australia she said:

“It was a dumb thing to do in a country where you don’t do dumb things, I knew that at the time.”

Ah, so she did know better.

In the same interview she says of admitting to the charges:

“I had to do what I had to do to get out.”

“The governor of Phuket was there and he guaranteed me personally that I wouldn’t go to jail if I pleaded guilty,” she said.

“If I’d pleaded not guilty it would have taken months to go to trial and I just had to come home.”

What was she going to do, fight the charges? She was caught red-handed with property that belonged to the bar.

Now, it may sound like I’m viewing this in very black and white terms. I’m not. I agree that going to jail over a prank involving a $40 item seems excessive. But every single one of her actions has done nothing but flame this issue. I’ve yet to read anything from her indicating remorse over having caused such a huge mess. She never mentions doing the runner or acting abusively with the police officers, which is what really landed her in jail and in hot water in the first place. She could have easily avoided all of this by simply acting like a real law-abiding person and apologizing and offering to compensate the bar owner and being just a tad bit humble.

Instead in her press interviews she keeps conjuring up images of Schapelle Corby who received a 20-year jail sentence in Bali.

“Being locked up in that cell for two days on a concrete slab and worrying that, you know, so many times it went through my head, this is just like Schapelle Corby even though drugs weren’t involved,’’ she said.

“They’re just going to lock me up and throw away the key and not care. They didn’t seem to care that I didn’t do it, and I told them hundreds of times but they didn’t care.”

Except many people believe Corby is actually innocent and Smoel was admittedly in possession of stolen property. Then she ran from the police and insulted them. Yes, the cases are so alike. The world is dumbfounded why after seeing that you’re a farang they didn’t just offer to put you up at a five-star hotel and possibly send the chief of police over to your villa to be your personal errand boy. Who the fuck thinks like this other than someone so completely self-absorbed as to be borderline sociopathic?

It’s not surprising that someone who does think like that is a politician. Premier of Victoria John Brumby told the media:

“To be honest, that message did get through to the Thai authorities and they saw common sense and that is that this was a trivial matter, that there’d been an overreaction, and that a woman’s rights had been gravely infringed.”

If it was a trivial matter why did the Australian government get involved at all other than the normal diplomatic assistance? She was facing legitimate charges. It wasn’t very likely she would receive the maximum sentence and she certainly wasn’t facing anything like the death penalty.

And what rights have been gravely infringed? Her rights were no more infringed than any other person who gets arrested in Thailand. She was offered bail. Just because she couldn’t put together 100,000 baht (less than $3000 USD) for two days isn’t the fault of the Thai police or justice system. She was given an opportunity for a trial. She wasn’t raped, tortured or physically abused while in custody. So exactly where did this supposed grave violation of her rights happen?

Instead Mr. Brumby should be saying that she’s quite lucky she got off with a slap on the wrist and that even though it was all a joke gone wrong, committing crimes in foreign countries and being disrespectful to lawful authorities is not something the Australian government condones. Perhaps they should have even revoked her passport upon arrival home to send a message that going overseas an acting like a jackass and embarrassing your country isn’t a right.

Smoel says she’ll never return to Thailand. Good. And many of those who support her say they’ll never come to Thailand. Fantastic. Because if you are the type of person who thinks you can go to a foreign country, steal things (even as a prank), and that there should be no consequences, then it’s better you stay at home. Nobody really wants you as a tourist. And the foreigners who live there don’t want your type making them look bad either.

Like I said, her original crime may have been the result of a prank gone bad. But a civil demeanor, showing respect for the police officers doing their job, and actually being somewhat remorseful when caught are all she needed to get out of it. She obviously doesn’t know how to behave and those who defend her don’t either.

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An Interesting Way to Make a Living in Thailand

By Anonymous

April 16, 2009

I ran across an article titled “Thai Poker” in Poker Player Magazine. The author, Michael Kaplan, profiles what he called “the thriving Thailand poker scene.” Most expats living in Thailand don’t talk about the poker scene because, well, gambling is illegal in Thailand. But based on the number of people who have told me in whispered tones that they make their living in Thailand by playing online poker it’s more common that most people realize.

In fact, there’s many posts on the popular 2+2 website from people who have left the US and Europe for places like Thailand, Costa Rica, Brazil and other spots with warm weather, a low cost of living, and semi-reliable internet service.

The most obvious reason that people would move to Thailand to make a living playing poker is that the climate is much more agreeable to Americans and Europeans who have grown weary of cold winters back home. As one of the peopleKaplan interviews, Ron F (nobody wanted to give their full names for the interview) comments:

“I was sitting in my house in New Jersey, freezing my bollocks off and wondering what this bullshit is. I knew I could be in paradise instead of Jersey.”

Because if you’re making your living playing online poker it really doesn’t matter where in the world you do it from. All you need to make money is a computer, an internet connection, and your poker skills. There’s no advantage to living somewhere with a high cost of living if you’re the adventurous sort who doesn’t mind relocating.

But the lower cost of living means that even players who were squeaking out a small profit playing the game could be making enough to live off of in a lower cost of living locale. Someone playing stakes as low as .50/$1 could potentially be making $2000 – $3000 a month playing 8 or 10 tables at a time. That’s a nice 70,000 – 105,000 baht per month which would buy you a pretty nice lifestyle in Thailand. But back at home, $24,000 – $36,000 a year is barely getting by.

On top of that many players are able to take advantage of bonuses paid out by the online card rooms to entice players to keep playing, loyalty programs, and something called rakeback to make a very substantial living. For instance, some online poker sites will offer the player a certain amount of money if he plays a specific number of hands. So let’s say that an online poker site has made you an offer that if you deposit $100 they will match the $100 if you earn 800 points. The math on converting points to hands will vary from online poker site to online poker site but let’s just say that in this example, to keep the math simple – the player needs to play 400 hands of poker to receive the extra $100. So after 400 hands the online poker site makes a $100 deposit into his account regardless of whether or not he wins or loses.

Like I said, we’re trying to keep the math simple but some online poker sites offer bonuses like these frequently. Some might even offer them once a month to their players. And the amounts can be up to $1000 or more. Some players open accounts at many different online poker sites and just bounce from site to site collecting the bonuses.

And in addition to the bonuses most sites have a loyalty points system and the player is accumulating points as they play. Players can then cash in these loyalty points for goods and services like hats, t-shirts, and other items. However some rooms also allow players to cash in their points for, well, cash.

Lastly, many of the more savvy players have begun to get something called rakeback. Rake is what is paid to the casino as a fee for providing the game. Unlike other casino games like blackjack or roulette, poker players don’t play against the casino. They compete against each other. So, in order to compensate the online poker site for providing the service they collect a percentage of each pot as a fee called “the rake.” The rake can amount to up to 5% of the total pot. It doesn’t seem like a lot but when you consider that these rooms are dealing millions of hands a day they don’t need to take a lot from each pot to make a significant amount of money. Just to give you an idea of how much money we’re talking about, thepublicly traded PartyGaming reports over $300 million a year from their poker operations.

So, how the rakeback works is that online poker sites pay publishers and websites a percentage of the money generated by the players who they refer (also see this article What is Rakeback). And those payments are for life! So, if a website refers a player to an online poker site and that player generates $1000 in rake the online poker site pays the website anywhere from 25% – 50% of the $1000. The average is about 35% but $350 is still a nice commission for the website. And as long as the player keeps playing the website keeps getting their commission. So one player could potentially be worth thousands or even tens of thousands of dollars in commissions.

Well, the players started to catch on to this and they didn’t think it was fair that some website was making such a large amount of money for doing essentially nothing but running ads and hoping people would click on them (though many do provide very valuable services like sending reporters to cover tournaments and advice on how to become a better player). Some started demanding to be cut in on the action so rakeback affiliates were born. They essentially work under the same system but if we go back to our previous example of a player generating $1000 in rake and the website making $350, the rakeback site might give the player back $300 and keep only $50.

As this rakeback site points out in an article titled How to Make a Living Playing Online Poker, a player who plays $1/$2 6-max (only six seats at the table) NL Hold’em, playing 4 tables at a time, six hours a day, on a 27% rakeback scheme, can make $5,202 (over 182,000 baht) a month without winning a single penny on the tables.

So there is yet another revenue stream for these poker players. Some don’t even need to make money playing poker. As long as they don’t lose money playing poker, between bonuses, points, and rakeback they can be making thousands of dollars every month.

The typical demographic of these adventerous players is male, in their 20′s or early 30′s, and single. It doesn’t take a lot of imagination to figure out what kind of trouble someone fitting that profile could get into in Thailand on 182,000 baht a month.

Many of them relocate in groups or solicit their friends to come join them and they chip in together and rent out mansions in Thailand. I know this because I’ve seen many posting pictures of their group houses on popular poker websites. This Thailand Chatter thread on the before mentioned popular 2+2 poker website has over 5600 replies.

They might have between 3 – 5 twenty-something males each chipping in a $1000 or so a month for rent. 100,000 – 200,000 baht a month will buy a pretty nice pad.

All in all, I would say it’s a pretty nice lifestyle if:

a) you’re good enough at poker to be able to play 160 – 180 hours a month and either make money or break even

b) you can live with the potential fallout of getting busted by the Thai police for gambling

Point “b” is where some of these players may eventually run into some problems. Most aren’t aware that the Thai government has the ability to monitor and block internet traffic. These young-guns come to Thailand and think it has the same freedoms that they experience back home. Even if gambling was illegal back in their home countries governments tend to go after the online poker site rather than the players since locking up citizens for playing poker is bad PR. But in Thailand, all it would take is for one of these players to start shooting his mouth off and for someone out to get him to rat him out to the police. Thailand makes its own PR

Granted, most cops would ask for a payoff first and I have my doubts as to whether or not the Thai police could ever actually prove that you were playing online poker or even care but it is a risk.

So the next time you’re out in Phuket, Pattaya, Samui, Bangkok or Chiang Mai and you see some young expat throwing around cash like it was toilet paper you might want to ask him what site he’s playing at.

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Finding a Thai Girl

By Anonymous

March 18, 2009

There she sat across from me looking absolutely stunning. Of course, that’s not a big surprise as she was in her late twenties and Thai. Most men would give their left arm to be sitting across from her.

A mutual friend had arranged this blindish date. We had spoken a few times on the phone and the friend had arranged picture swaps so we both had some idea of what to expect for the evening but this was the first time we had ever seen each other in the flesh.

As she spoke, her command of English (or lack thereof) and breadth of topics indicated to me her level of education. Her style of dress, hairstyle, and cosmetics gave me a good idea about her financial situation, where she likely lived, and under what sort of living arrangements.

Most likely she had studied at one of Thailand’s numerous mediocre universities which are designed to do nothing more than give students a diploma and a chance at a job that doesn’t involve working in a factory or taking one’s clothes off. That means she is probably making about 15,000 baht per month living on the outskirts of Bangkok either by herself or sharing with a friend or relative.

Her comfort with making and holding eye contact as well as the fact that her smile was genuine rather than shy and forced told me I was not the first farang she had been out with despite the fact she claimed never to have had a farang boyfriend before.

Although some of her facial features had already told me that she was an Isaan girl when she confirmed it I already knew a major part of her life story. Whether she was from Korat, Udon Thani, or Buriram was of little consequence nor do I remember or care.

We were only twenty minutes into the date and I already felt like I knew everything about her. I spent the rest of the evening struggling to find something about her that was unique or at least noteworthy.

Did she have any hobbies? Did she have any interesting or exciting life experiences? What was she passionate about?

Alas for all my effort I was unable to find anything. She was just like the hundreds of other girls I had met and/or dated in Thailand. In fact, I remember more about the restaurant and the meal than I do anything about her.

I detest being one of those people who pigeonholes people but if there was one place in the world where you’ll end up being right more often than wrong stereotyping people, Thailand is that place.

I’m not saying that every Thai girl is like this one. There are many different types of Thai girls. The issue is that once you figure out a girl’s type there probably isn’t much else to know about her.

That doesn’t mean that she’s not worth knowing or that she isn’t absolutely lovely to be around. It simply means that if you ask two girls from the same type about their life story the differences between the two tales will be rather trivial.

Due to a mixture of how wealth is distributed in Thailand, Thai society’s strict rules about class and gender roles, and a value system that rewards conformity, finding Thais who live outside certain parameters is rather rare.

Like I said, I’m not trying to dehumanize anyone but the story about growing up on a farm and coming to Bangkok to make money for the family is so common that it’s cliché (almost as cliché as saying something is cliché).

I find myself being drawn more and more to women who are different. It doesn’t need to be anything major. A simple hobby that they’re passionate about. Someone who has travelled beyond Thailand’s boarders. Does she play an instrument?

Women like this exist. I know they do. I’ve met many of them. Unfortunately they’re either married (even worse, to my friends), have boyfriends (again, many of who are my damned friends) or not that particularly into farangs.

What do I do? Do I give up? Do I keep searching?

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