Mia Gik Conundrum

I wrote a submission a couple months ago entitled “The Mia Noi Conundrum”. If you read that you’ll perhaps remember what a sad, dumb sod I can be sometimes. I naively became infatuated with a traditional massage girl on my first trip to Thailand. I just knew she was different and all that pitiful crap you’ve heard so many times. I suppose I’m not the first nor last to find myself in that situation but I will attempt to keep it a personal last time.

I’m not giving up hookers of course, in fact I’m as determined as ever to have wonderful loving relations with women that love only me… for money. I would also like to thank every one of you that wrote to me. In fact I have kept some of your letters as they may be appropriate again in the future. Most of you told me in a very polite tone what a dumb sod I was and I appreciated the feedback. A couple of you even insinuated that you might even be bonking my beloved as you know many mia nois that have real needs from time to time and you’re always available when the benefactor is away. I chuckled at this but realize there’s probably longer odds that happen once in awhile.

I came to Thailand again last January and yes I saw the woman in question and even took her on a holiday to Koh Samet. Hell, I even had “loving relations” with her a few times and other than her stewing about whether her German boyfriend was going to find out, the island was wonderful. I would definitely recommend the island for anyone with that special paid for someone in their life. I’ll try not to bore you too much with my stupid sod story but let’s just say the illusion of love was gone. Enough about me, I would like to know about your experiences with longer term, on the side relationships.

I’m writing this today because I don’t enjoy the sex as much without the illusion of feelings. This leads to inevitable anguish at times but alas, it’s the case with me. I still want to know if it’s possible to have a mia gik? (I’m told this is the more correct term now: Mia noi is too public whereas mia gik means secret wife). I realize there can be extreme danger in getting involved in that way with someone, after all, it’s hard to walk away if you’re in love etc. But as Union Hill so eloquently put it on schoochers “Love your wife, not a fucking massage girl.” Truer words were perhaps never spoken.

Maybe what I really want is my own personal hooker? I could certainly swing that if the right one came around.

I have to think by all the mail I received last time that I’m on to something, after all I’m a pretty average guy. I think lots of guys would prefer to meet their girl at Robinsons or MBK or wherever and not be so open about the whole hooker thing. (I’m not saying the women that work there are hookers.) We know that the women we meet, especially if you live in the cold west, and only come to Thailand 3 – 4 times per year have got other guys around, or at least most of us know, but we’ll look the other way if we’re not supporting them financially. Obviously having a longer term thing and wanting exclusivity would be only after I relocate.

I suppose having a walk away identity would make sense if you could pull it off. I’ve heard all about Thai girls and their tantrums and potential treachery. So just maybe it would be smart to do what the Thais do and have your own nickname etc and if things aren’t as they are supposed to be, walk away. Of course the walking away part in my mind should be talked about from the beginning and mutually agreed upon as an option for either party. I don’t get off on playing games with people’s lives and I would not enter one of these relationships cavalierly.

I also realize that this will not be for everyone as it is probably expensive, especially the breaking up part when it comes to that. I’m sure breaking up with someone you’re that involved with is, at the very least, going to cost money. I think it only fair if you get a woman to commit to you for a longer term than just a brief liaison and then if you decide to leave her for anything other than gross misconduct on her part you should offer something to get her back on her feet.

Perhaps one of the biggest problems would be the chatty townsfolk. Maybe an out of town lover would make sense, after all Thais are a pretty close knit group it would seem, and the social network probably reaches pretty far. I guess if you live in Bangkok an across town lover would offer some element of safety or perhaps of a different class than your wife.

I am hoping to hear from some of you on whether anyone out there has experienced good and not so good experiences. I would bet there’s some clever guys out there reading this right now that have the answers. I am hoping some of you out there have stories of either success or failure and perhaps lessons learned. Is there anybody out there with a story good or bad that they are willing to share? Is there anyone out there willing to offer advice on little subtle things to do to stay out of trouble. I am willing to concede that I don’t know the culture anywhere near as well as a lot of you. I also realize that what I’m after may stem completely from being so naive to Thai people in general that I’m sounding ridiculous, after all the more I know, the more it seems I don’t know anything about Thais. I am standing by my computer and would like to thank anyone in advance willing to comment, educate or chastise.

Regards, And give my best to the wife,


15 thoughts on “Mia Gik Conundrum”

  1. Many Thai girls themselves have Giks. They think of them as insurance if their main relationship goes south.

    Personally, I don’t see the problem with it. If you trust each other completely, then neither will wander. If there is doubt, then it won’t hurt to have a backup plan.

  2. Patsy,

    Oh geezzz here you are again. I”ve heard that Mia Noi or Mia Gik Conundrum is common here in Thailand that is why it doesn’t matter for some both married and singles to make it a big deal. I can confirm this as I have spoken to a few locals days ago about the issue. If I were to get the terms in exact words,” IT’S OK.”

    I have asked also some ladies who are married (yes, I have many friends) that their respective husbands have mia gik/noi and they’re fully aware about it; nonetheless, they have no plans of getting any divorce or separation.

    To add, it is even a pride to be No. 2 and not having any gik is a weakness. Being a playgirl or playboy is in and fun. That’s what I found out. Although, I have to add that we can never assumed that ALL think the same way.

    If you have known, many farangs have been victimized by short-lived marriages and some ended up dead broke especially after the sin-sot, golds, wedding expenses and that house and car purchase. Perhaps you can also refer to other sites speaking about the plights of farangs.

    My point now is I think you are lucky with your wife. If she thinks similarly to you, I’m sure you both would have fun having your own Mia Gik(s) and of course if you have the ability to finance your capricious deeds.

    If you still value your family which I doubt you do, staying out of trouble is stopping what you do. You’re getting yourself and your family in this huge dillema waiting to be happened. If that time comes, you’d end up sick, broke and all alone. We for sure could understand why.

  3. oh god if you got a thai girlfriend please dont get a gik, you will always be found out and when a thai woman explodes, well you could seriously end up on a flight in the cargo hold back home, i am serious the gik may also end up in a field pushing up rice. now i know women the world over can do the same but a thai lady will do it quicker and without warning its amazing the variety of plants and fruits available in thailand that once placed in a drink will leave you a lost soul.
    And on a lighter note, if ya thai girls a looker then what more do ya want, lets not be greedy now or there wont be enough left for the next fallang.
    stay safe over there.

  4. Mia Gik and Mia Luang

    I have been married to a Thai for many years now. On two occasions I have had what you may call affairs with other Thai girls. Both ironically older than my wife.

    The first girl ended up getting married to an American, and the second girl is currently visiting her boyfriend in Austria.

    I have always been forward with my girlfriends and let them know that I have a wife, that under no circumstance will I leave.

    I do have very strong feelings for the girl who is now in Austria, but I encouraged her to go, as it may give her the chance for a fuller life with an unattached husband and all the trimmings. She is not enjoying herself there and we talk every day.

    I would love her to come back, but as she and the wife are both in Bangkok (and the wife is very jealous) it is difficult to think of excuses to meet.

    What to do?

  5. Mia Gik and Mia Luang,

    I would suggest you bring that girl who is now in Austria back to Bangkok. You make her happy and she’s happy with you anyway. And since she knows you have a wife then it isn’t a big deal for her staying with you and your wife soon.

    The problem now is your jealous wife. Hmm….you encourage her to get her own Mia Gik, you can also give some references to make it at least convenient for her. If you want, you can set an ad or audition and let yourself screen the applicants. Then invite her soon to be Mia Gik to stay with you at home also to be fair.

    As they say, “the more, the merrier”. You just have to work on your scheduling. That’ll make your lives indeed pretty fun, exciting, fruitful and meaningful!!!.Good luck!


  6. For many Thai girls in certain socioeconomic strata, the decision to have a gik can be a financial decision. Yes, they absolutely consider the gik to be a “back up plan,” in the event that their primary relationship fails.

    Look at it from their perspective:

    1. There is wicked competition from other Thai ladies.
    2. They believe that they have a limited “shelf life,” meaning that they are acutely aware that they will be young and attractive for a finite time.
    3. It is expensive to be pretty. Creams and lotions and shampoos and body scrub concoctions are expensive. They are often acutely aware that girls with great grooming have more success with men. They spend money on beauty products, and on cosmetic procedures. Where can they get this disposable income? They make between 6-15,000 THB per month. Often, they send money home to care for mom and dad, or for their children. Bottom line: they need the financial assistance that a boyfriend or a generous gik can offer.
    4. They are subjected to incessant materialist propaganda. Teeth whitening. Skin treatments. Mole removal. Nose jobs. Show me a Thai girl who does not want a boob-job, and I will make a note of her number. They are acutely aware of “name brands.” They jealously inspect other women on the SkyTrain, and seethe when they see genuine Jimmy Choo shoes, or real-deal Vuitton handbags. This is the consequence of Western media penetration.

    If you do not want your Thai girl to have a back-up gik, then you need to make her feel secure, and moreover, you need to impress upon her the risk to her primary relationship in the event that she is busted. They need to understand that getting caught will not be a result of “bad luck,” but a result of committing the infraction in the first place.

    Make a commitment to the girl. Be a good husband. Monitor her whereabouts and her relationships in a low-key, deniable manner. Make it clear to her that cheating is not a forgivable offense.

    It works, sometimes.

    Other times…. you are fighting a losing battle with a girl who will be doomed to a sustained sequence of short-termed relationships.

    People either grow up, or they continue repeating the mistakes of their youth.

  7. Gee Joe how PC can you get!! You/anyone cannot make another feel secure’
    ; same as happiness it must come from inside. Having a back-up is always a good idea as a male it is better to have one. Many Us publications relate to the problem when over emphasis in one person leads to a futile life. Having a back-up is best because you can move forward with your life.

  8. Well, your back, and, i’m back, and the way I it is this, that is if you cannot get over your sex addiction (like mine):
    A) You buy a bar in Thailand and bring a girl out once in a while to be your maid for a while. 😉
    B) This one may not be an option in the US. (It is legal here.) You bring a girl out as you mia noi as a free lancer and she can go to work as a hooker for herself but stay with you with your wife’s permission and service you as well.
    C) As I understand the de facto laws in my own state and country, you can with wife #1’s permission (since it is grounds for divorce), keep a second de facto, were your first wife a de facto then again there should be no problem with multiple de factos and if you arer smart and file separate applications with your immigration department they probably wont be smart enough to put 2 and 2 together (that is, match mia noi/de facto #1 visa filing with sponsorship with #2,…, #n, etc. and so on so so forth…

    Now if you buy the bar I will help out at least as far as giving your girls regular holidays (doubly so for the ones who want to make some money on the side).
    Funnily enough most are shy until the get themselves pregnant and have a kid to support with no 3rd world husband (that sticks around). 6 mths to a year in a western country will usually buy land plus a house plus a small business (and sometimes multiple times over) when they return home…

    There you go: all the pussy you can dream about and some rich 3rd world mistresses (by their standards) and all at no cost to you and I!

    Drop me a line.

  9. Mia Gik and Mia Luang

    I am back also. Well since I last wrote I have been travelling a lot – mostly with the wife, as such the mia gik has stayed in Bangkok. Since the start of 2010 I have seen her only twice, on each occasion giving her a little cash – around 10K Baht, so not enough to keep living for over a year. She has been back to Austria twice to see her ‘boyfriend’ and he came to Bangkok once also. I fee slightly bad as I pushed her again to go back there, and he only wanted her to go if they would get married, well she will be back here in Bangkok in a month and not married, so who knows what is going on there. For sure when she gets back we will fuck. I usually have her making herself cum on the phone when we have sex chats between me here in BKK and her in Austria. Anyway we she gets back she will probably move back to home in Buriram which means I will not get to see her much in BKK, which actually is a good thing because it is hard to find excuses to see her in BKK that the wife will believe. So to my question. I live mostly in BKK but work offshore or in my home office, I do not have many friends here or really any work, so I find it hard to find excuses to give the wife for me getting away and fucking the mia gik, does anyone have any good suggestions for me to get out with my mia gik for a few hours without the wife getting suspicious?

  10. It’s amazing what happens to guys after they’ve been living here for a while. Things that you wouldn’t even contemplate back in the real world become a normal state of affairs here. Mistresses, mia nois, giks, fuck buddies, short times, long times? What the hell happens to us. I look back over the past few years all I can see is is the large dent in my bank account; I probably could’ve paid for a condo down in Thong Lor lol. It’s friggin madness.

  11. I wonder if you are honestly saying these words ‘I will love you ’till death do us part’ to your wife. You did not sacred your marriage. Is there something wrong happening in your marriage? Why don’t you have an open forum with your wife? To set things right and save your marriage life.

  12. He does not have to do that. He is a man. Once the women of the western world understand men as Asian women do, it will be a lot better for both sexes, and I am not holding my breath.

    The marriage words were invented by religion and do not work for many couples!

  13. What about when the primary relationship becomes the backup plan. When the husband is cast aside in favour of the thai gik.

    Post 2017 it seems there is a lot of nationalistic pressure to dicth the falaung hubby and get back with village sweetheart, just even to show your Thainess.

    Recent example involves woman turning down a green card and large cash cow in favour of her gik. the whole thing has played out over fb like a soap opera, which is more than part of the problem imho.

    anybody else have experience like this, tgs knocking back life abroad to be with local lovers?

    (in this instance, the age gap is minimal and no signs of marital struggle until tg busted in fb posts with gik)

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