Sometimes when I am out at a farang party, which includes lots of Thai women but no Thai men, I feel undesirable, invisible, and at times just like one of the guys. Most farang men will not attempt to strike up a conversation or even glance my way because they already have a Thai woman on their arm or they are entranced by their high-pitched giggles. However, there are some farang men that do enjoy intelligent banter and will come my way, but their body langauge usually tells me they are only there to escape the giggles….temporarily. I have recently experienced two farang parties back to back. I’m not sure if I was even at the first one, but at the second one my attendance was definetly noted on some level!
On Friday night, after a cheap Thai dinner and an evening of choosing fabrics to adorn my studio apartment, I decided to venture down the soi to a farang birthday party. As I entered the trendy, retro bar I saw lots of Thais mixing and minging, but the birthday boy was no where in sight. One of the servers noticed me (Thais do notice me) and directed me to Khun Dan’s party. Once upstairs it was a totally different scene- lots of farang men throwing smiles at beautiful Thai women, farang women chatting in their little groups, and the birthday boy bouncing around and bathing in the attention of both Thai and farang women. I realized I was seriouly sober and under dressed which is always a bad combination at these parties. To my relief I quickly found my French friend with a cigarette and a wine glass filled with whiskey and soda. Before I could even sit down she told me she couldn’t even entice a smile out of the farang women or a glance from a man (all of them being farang). I laughed to myself; not only are we invisible to farang men, but we are snubbed by farang women.
I only stayed for an hour and during that time I spoke with a few Thai women, squeezed a conversation out of a blonde, experienced some limp handshakes with a few farang men, and was offered none of the free alcohol or cake. I must also mention that at one point during the evening I thought I was visible to an attractive man and that he wanted to dance with me. I was sitting down chatting with my French friend, my invisible glass was empty, the music made me want to dance, and there was a cute guy leaning against the pool table motioning for me to come over. Really? No. A demure, mid-riff baring, Thai woman wearing glasses emerged from behind me and began to swivel her hips in his direction. I knew it was too good to be true and before I left the birthday boy put the icing on the cake I never ate by telling me he wished me a good life because he doesn’t think he will see me again!
I didn’t have to deal with anyone reconfirming my invisibleness on Saturday night, and in fact I was rewarded for being visible: perfect attendance and excellent teaching performance. I knew most of the people at the party and even though most of the male teachers had their Thai women and kids in tow it felt comfortable. Everyone was wearing red and green, eating lots, drinking some, and awkwardly singing karaoke.