Hello Massaaaaage

“Hello massaaaaage… one hour 300 Baaaaht …” lovely young Thai women in Batik sarongs and silk shirts are singing on the streets of Patong, Phuket Island, Thailand.

As I stop to consider their kind offer, I feel hands crawling all over my body. One is stroking my left upper arm, another one is pulling me gently by my right hand, and a few other ones are rubbing my back. Large brown almond eyes are watching me; soft whispers are flowing from fleshy lips into my ears…

Are you the Guan-Yin-1000-hands goddess that has vowed to never rest until you had freed all sentient beings from reincarnation? Do you really think that I’m one of the many unhappy being that is yet to be saved?

Are you Desire, Pleasure, and Delight, Maara’s daughters trying to seduce me? Do you want to distract me from practicing a spiritual life?

What did Buddha said…? 

Better I die in battle now

Than choose to live on in defeat…

I make up an excuse, give my best smile and I set off for my fate which is only 20 to 30 meters far away in the same soi

“Hello massaaaaage …” ah this is sweet music to my ears. But for some people, it is just one more trouble with this place and they contemptuously ignore the calls of the massage sirens that promise you ineffable delights. It is true that there are so many parlors proposing head massage, hand massage, foot massage, traditional Thai massage and oil massage. Some even display reflexology charts demonstrating the areas of the feet supposedly corresponding with organs of the body to prove their skills and knowledge. What would you think of a steakhouse that would display a beef cut chart on the menu? Does it prove that they can correctly cook a sirloin steak?

Some are very private and intimate places, while others perform behind street windows where everybody can see what’s happening inside.

Over there they wear the qipao, the Chinese gown made of brightly-colored silk with rich embroidery, you know the foot-length one that accentuates the figures of women, yes this one that has that sexy slit high to the hip that reveals white smooth leg skin when walking.

Over there, on the other side of the street, dark skinned, tall, slender waist masseuses are wearing red low-necked dresses that reveal enhanced breasts that stand out like headlights. Their faces have that something you can’t put your finger on right away and that leave in you that nagging feeling that you may have been cheated on something… Well everybody is allowed to make a living with what has been given by nature or surgery! 

Hello massaaaaage …” Here they have pale blue shirts, assorted sarongs and the usual wooden sandals. I like that conservative look and although not shy, the girls don’t look slutty either. 

Better I lie in Babel now

Than choose to live on in retreat…

This afternoon I’m for an oil massage, I’m easy prey, I surrender. One girl takes me inside. The place is not very busy at this time of the day as most of the white farang whales and shrimps are making desperate attempts to turn into red lobsters on the beach, and it turns out I’m the only customer.

My assigned masseuse is smaller than me, she seems to have a fit body with quite fair skin; her hair is tied in a bun. I like her face and like many Thai women she walks in a very graceful way. At this stage, if you don’t like the look of the girl, I strongly advise you ask for another one. Massage is all about relaxation, and you have to feel comfortable from A to Z.

In the room there are two rows of mattresses on the ground that can be isolated by sliding curtains, one by one or more for groups. The air conditioning is off as November is still reasonably warm. Some Thai mood music is floating in the air. The massage girl is isolating a mattress for me and she says:

‘Take off all of your clothes and wait for me here’, pointing at the now private massage place.

‘… All?’

‘Yes!’

‘Uh oh!’

Let me check again: I’m not in Christin, the massage parlor that offers the Bangkok slide soapy massage neither in one of the other naughty places off soi Kepsap… I’m in peak condition and not afraid of being trapped naked with a girl who although not being stunningly hot is nevertheless good looking… Well, let’s see what’s next. A little bit of unexpected, isn’t it what are holidays in Thailand are for? 

Let me stop my recall of the events by a digression.

In Thailand or China anything can happen inside the massage room, but although “full service” or “happy ending” may be available it is most of the time between you and the girl. You can’t force a girl to provide “full service” to you if she is not up to. Also, you pay the massage place for what’s advertised on the front desk, and you pay directly to the girl for the extra-service.

But first you have to feel comfortable with the girl, and you must be 100% sure she is also comfortable with you. So do not rush things, take your time to enjoy the massage first. As the massage goes on and as you do some idle chat, you will become more and more intimate preparing the path for eventually more at the end.

Otherwise, within the first 15 minutes, you may end up shagging a dead fish that is patiently waiting it is finished while faking moans and thinking of the remaining chores she will have to do upon returning home … Which will have a quick “ending” probably without the “happy”. Furthermore you will be motioned out once done as the girl is then reluctant to give you the legitimate massage. Why? Because she will conclude that you came only for sex instead of a massage and because she has seen enough of you already. 

The private room where I’m waiting naked is very dark, so when the masseuse comes back I’m not  embarrassed. She is now wearing shorts and a T-shirt because it is simply more convenient than a sarong and a dress shirt, and she brings a bottle of oil and some towels.

At this stage, if you have the choice, I advise you to lie flat on your stomach so that she can start rubbing your back and this is for different reasons. First, if you are shy it simply helps preserve your modesty. Second, if you are horny, it helps control yourself: you will feel her hands or the weight of her body as she has to ride you to perform the manipulations, but you won’t see her. It is the right moment to make the introductions and a joke seems to me the ideal way to start:

‘Sniff Sniff This oil smells good. Is it the same oil as for salad dressing?’

‘Yes, same-same, and after I eat you!’

‘Please go ahead, I would like to see that!’ 

Then follows a conversation that starts of course with ‘what’s your name?’ and where I learn that Yen studied massage for 2 years in Wat Po in Bangkok while at the same time making a living in teaching beginners in massage basics. She has done massage during the last six years; she is 28 and she has a 7 year old daughter from a Thai man in Khon Kaen, her birthplace. She is working from 11 am to 11 pm.

I asked for a soft massage and her hands are gently kneading my back during the first twenty minutes. If you ask for a hard massage and if you are not accustomed to this, I warn you that it can be painful, especially when she makes your back muscles roll with her elbow. Be prepared to have sore muscles the following day. But after recovery, I have remarked it provides the long-term effect of improving power.

When it is time for the lower body, the massage atmosphere has set in and soothed my mind such as the oil on my skin, and I don’t flinch when she removes the towel that was covering my bum. While her hands are sliding on that part of your body you may get an occasional and light fondling of the testicles. As long as it is not too insistent, no harm is done.

Now the idle chat has slowed down as I’m sinking into relaxation. Time to time I get the ‘you OK?’ to which I whisper a ‘fine’. I’m in the hands of someone who knows her job very well. My muscles are warmed and I’m so relaxed she can now stretch my legs and lower back with some flexing and bending movements and I don’t put up any resistance. 

‘Giggle [incomprehensible Thai] oh! Your feet so cold!’

‘We have a saying in France, “if someone has cold hands or feet, then he has a warm heart”.’

She seems to like that saying. I continue ‘actually, before coming here I swam in the hotel pool and the water was cold’.

‘Where is your hotel?’‘ Very close to this place, near the Tai Pan Disco.’

‘Is your wife at the hotel?’

‘No.’

‘She stay Hong Kong then?’

‘No, she lives in France with our children.’

‘Oh! You living and working Hong Kong, wife stay Fà-ràng-sèt… You have girlfriend in Hong Kong?’

‘Sometimes.’

“Giggle.” ‘Oh! You butterfly.’ 

Once she has finished with my legs she gives me a signal to turn and lie on my back. She quickly covers my privates with a towel.

At this time it is still easy to get things under control because you are relaxed, your thoughts are wandering and you don’t especially think about sex, but not for long I can tell you. 

Usually she will continue by massaging your upper body, but before she will apply pressure with the palm of the hands using all the weight of her body on your feet, then on your front thighs, then on your hips, climbing on you higher and higher. And this is when things start to get hot.

If you don’t want a happy ending, it is the critical moment and you will have no choice than to stare at the ceiling while having a blank mind or thinking of that boss you despised so much that you wanted to slaughter him each morning at the office, otherwise…

Now she is facing you and you can feel her lukewarm and soft breath as she is leaning over your body with that angle that gives you the best perspective possible on her chest. You are now both accustomed to the darkness. You can look each other in the eyes and if you smile while she is sitting on your groin and get a genuine smile back you will know that she may be okay for more. Because she is perfectly controlling the situation: she is not sitting there by chance, she could sit on your side and still be able to manipulate you without a problem; the soft skin of her thighs has not been in contact with yours by chance, she is not maintaining eye contact with you while smiling by chance either…

You will then trip to another level next to heaven as her hands are kneading your pectorals and as her slender body whose weight is now centered on her bottom is making tiny forward and backward motions that will rub and awake that organ that was previously sleeping like the sleep of the just under the towel. And of course she will feel it.

Next she will rub your six-pack, or pot-belly, going very low, enough to slightly touch your you-know-what without letting on that she is doing so of course. For that she has sit on your thighs and again you can enjoy the contact of her smooth skin.

Then to take care of your thighs she will kneel between your legs and rest her buttocks on her heels. From there she has a good view of what’s happening under the towel, and she is also in the right position to cover the lower belly to the knees area of your body.

You have already spent 40 to 50 minutes with that lady; she has performed 80% of what she is supposed to do, and you have to decide now if you want more.

The same applies for the lady. She now knows your body and a little bit about you, and although she may have felt a throbbing under the towel she can just ignore it, unless she is in the right mood for sex. From my experience the ones that would do it with any man will try to do it at the beginning of the performance to maximize their time to profit ratio. The ones that are more conscientious in their work, more selective and not against a good shag allow themselves time to feel comfortable too. 

The towel is looking like a lonely tipi in the Great Plains and without any prior warning she makes it disappear.

She carefully pours some oil in the palm of her hand and she gently applies it on that part of my body that has been neglected until now. Uh oh, I didn’t know a greasy pole contest was scheduled! The combined sensations of rubbing and heating provided by the oil are of course terrific yet still relaxing. It is still massage, isn’t it? Or have we already overstepped the point of no return?

‘500 Baht?’ she asks stroking me harder

‘Steady, steady darling… 500 Baht, short time now.’

‘Short time, 1000 Baht,’ she replys, her hands still busy

‘1000 Baht… you ask too much… <pout> you don’t like me… <pout> you think I’m hard work and no fun…’ I answer looking at the ceiling <sigh>

‘1000 Baht, I go to your hotel tonight, I do everything.’

‘500 Baht short-time now… if I’m happy, I will give you a little bit more.’ 

She then releases her grip on my equipment and gives me the longest and yummiest kiss I have ever had in a long time.

I gently start to undress her and I can unfasten her bra very easily which I take as a good omen. Like most Thai women she’s wearing a padded model, I guess because it is concealing the nipples, which is one of the many paradoxes of these girls, shy in public, wild in private.

It is time that I remove the panties as Yen is already wet and ready for me. I use the last drop of blood remaining in my brain before it is pumped down there, not to forget about the condom and then we are doing the most pleasant thing a man and a woman can do together.

We are climaxing together which I must admit happens seldom in this kind of relation. Unlike many women who want you out as soon as you are done to rush to the bathroom and remove any traces of you, she wants me to stay longer inside her, she holds me thight while her body is still shaken by some random spasms. She is totally abandoned in my arms and she has no more power. In these conditions it is not a problem for me to stay hard longer and I let her savor the moment and recover.

‘Gop, you good for me’ she whispers

‘I enjoyed it too Yen.’

‘I finit work eleven. Do you like dancing?’

‘I won’t make any promises to you. Tonight I will have diner with some friends and after I don’t know what we will do. Anyway, I know where to find you. I stay here one week, I may come back for you’.

We put our clothes back on and I hand her 1000 Baht. I’m not expecting her to give me change. We get out of the room like nothing special has happened, and off I go again in the sunny soi

“Hello massaaaaage… one hour 300 Baaaaht …” lovely Thai women in sarongs and silk shirts are singing … 

The author can be contacted at: GatesofParadox@gmail.com

HECK, I’M THIRSTY AFTER ALL THESE WRITINGS! DO YOU SEE THE “BUY ME A BEER” BUTTON ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE SCREEN? WHAT DO YOU THINK IS IT FOR?

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