Tatt2Dude and I were exchanging emails this week and he made a “hansum man” reference. It’s not the first time I’ve heard of the disease called hansum man syndrome (HSM) which is why I am thankful that my undeniably less than hansum appearance serves as an adequate barrier to infection. For those who may not be familiar with this debilitating disease allow me to educate you.
HSM is caused by hearing “You hansum man” so often that one begins to believe it. These poor souls find themselves unable to discern the difference between being told they are hansum man by women hoping to separate them from their money and actually being considered a handsome man by women who have no financial incentive for making such proclamations
As the disease progresses the sufferer may develop a dangerously overinflated ego. If the ego, located between the temporal and frontal lobes, swells large enough it can begin to press against the frontal lobe which will impact his ability to reason. This pressure, if not relieved, may cause the afflicted to begin fancying himself a bit of a ladies man and that young, nubile, attractive women of particular races are genetically more inclined to being attracted to aging, overweight, balding men. In severe cases the disease causes involuntary bragging about romantic conquests with the sufferer completely unaware that anyone flashing a similar amount of baht can purchase the same experience.
If left untreated the disease will progress to the point where the victim becomes so deluded that he may date and/or marry any young lady willing to satiate his ego with a constant chorus of “you hansum man.”
Interestingly, the disease brings about its own cure. As the victim’s wallet is lightened by said girlfriend or wife, pressure on the coccygeal segment of the spine is reduced which, in chain event like fashion, brings temporary relief to the pressure being applied to the frontal lobe. Once the victim’s reasoning faculties are restored and his bank accounts drained the body is able to fill the void caused by the rapid deflation of the ego with racism, bigotry, and chauvinism.