Why Farang Men Like Thai Girls And Hate Farang Women

I have a good mate who is married to a non-Thai woman. Although separated by several continents she has many of the same values as a Thai woman.  They were having dinner one night with a farang couple.  My mate’s wife offhandedly mentioned that sometimes when her husband gets home from work she’ll pour a basin of water and wash his feet. 

The farang woman was aghast.  She, in her self-righteous zeal, berated the wife for being subservient.  She told her she should more pride in herself and not allow herself to be treated like a slave. 

The wife, biting her tongue as best she could, told the farang woman that she doesn’t do it because he expects her to.  For her it is a way of showing appreciation.  Her husband provides for her very well and they own several beautiful homes.  She wants for nothing.  She went on to tell the farang that her husband is a loving and caring man who attends to her emotionally as well as financially and that she loves him very much.  She asked why it should seem so strange to do something for her husband that he finds relaxing and enjoying. 

Like I said, she was biting her tongue as best she could but her feelings were eventually betrayed in her last sentence on the topic.  "Perhaps if you Western women showed your husbands some respect and appreciation for being a good husband the divorce rate in your country wouldn’t be over 50%."

This interaction is a perfect illustration of why so many farang men fall in love with Thai women.  It also serves to illustrate why so many farang women simply cannot grasp why farang men seem to prefer Thai women.  The farang women think they know but they are as wrong as first timer to Thailand who can’t see past the Thai smile. 

Farang women, generally, think that farang men are attracted to Thai women is because they are submissive.  They think the men are attracted because they can get a girlfriend half their age.  They think that the men are attracted to the tight little Asian bodies.

The farang woman is correct but only to a certain degree.  Yes, men are attracted to those things but there’s more to it than just that.  Farang men also want to feel appreciated and respected.  Yet, as the story told above demonstrates your average farang woman would never lower themselves.  Farang women cherish their equality too much to do something that seems to them to be so one-sided. 

However there’s an inequality in most farang / farang relationships.  By that I mean that when you weigh all of the tangible and intangible qualities each party brings to the relationship the man, generally, is bringing more to the table than the woman.  For instance, in few farang / farang marriages does the husband earn less than the wife.  Likewise, you’re far more likely to find an attractive man married to an average looking woman than to find an attractive woman married to an average looking man.  There are no absolutes here but just going by the numbers this is more true than not. 

So you have these inequalities in most relationships.  I know that’s a hard pill for some people to swallow but one only need to look at the number of men who graduate with degrees in economics, mathematics, computer science, medicine, and the other hard sciences vs. the number of women.  Men, just going by the numbers, are more likely to be the higher earner.  So right from the starting blocks you have an income discrepancy between the two.  In order for the relationship to equalize she needs to bring something of the same value to the relationship. 

Unfortunately, Western women cherish the concept of equality too much.  Tell a secretary making £30,000 a year that she needs to bring something extra to the table in order to marry a software engineer making £60,000 and, rightly or wrongly, she’ll accuse you of being a chauvinist.  So men just tend to accept that as part of life.  Tradition says that their job is to be the primary earner so they accept it unquestioningly. 

But there’s a catch.  Even though, traditionally, that means that the woman should shoulder more of the household chores and generally try to provide a good home life for her husband who has been fulfilling his traditional role, many farang women feel that that role is outdated and beneath them.  Whether that is true or not is not for me to answer but in one way or the other the woman has to bring things back to balance or the relationship simply isn’t going to work.  Perhaps she’s much more attractive than her husband.  That might even things out.  Maybe she’s a wildcat in the sack.  That might balance things out.  Maybe she knows just when and just how to stroke her husband’s ego.  Maybe that’s what evens things out.  I don’t know what it is as it will be different for different couples but without the balance the relationship is doomed. 

I believe this is why you often see so much hostility directed at farang women by farang men who have been fortunate enough to have a relationship with a Thai woman.  Even if they don’t fully realize it consciously, it dawns on them that they’ve been getting the short end of the stick in most relationships.  And like finding out your girlfriend has been sleeping around on you behind your back the farang man feels humiliated for being taken for such a fool.  His rage is often so out of proportion with the actual damage done that he dismisses all farang women as . . . . well, I could list several derogatory terms here but I’ll allow the reader to fill in his/her own. 

Personally, I don’t hate farang women.  I don’t date them very often nowadays but I don’t hate them.  I do prefer to date Thai women.  Not for the reasons that most farang women might think but because Thai women tend to try to balance out the relationship.   Obviously you cannot talk about an entire sex and not have exceptions.  There are Thai women who’s mind set is more like the farang women I’ve described and there are farang women who have an outlook more like the Thai women I describe.  That’s why I try to steer clear of making sweeping statements and say things like "tend to" or "normally."

It’s funny because most farang men have brainwashed themselves into believing many of the same things as farang women.  I guess it’s natural since we come from the same culture.  I remember the first time it really struck me.  She was Thai with a good job, had a post-graduate degree, and was certainly not the poor farmer’s daughter stereotype.  We were having dinner and when the food arrived she served me and then herself.  When my water glass was half empty (or half full depending on how you look at it) she would fill it. 

I was a little uncomfortable with that so I indicated she didn’t need to serve me.  She insisted gently saying "You relax.  I take care of you."  As I thought about it, it made sense.  If she likes you then demonstrating that she can be a good girlfriend or wife is very important to her.  It would be the same as a guy holding a door open or pulling the seat out for his date.  This is her way of saying that she likes me and that this is one of the qualities she intends to bring to the relationship. 

Perhaps farang women will think she was being subservient but I thought of it as part of the dance we call dating.  I show my ability to provide by taking her to a nice place to eat and she reciprocates by demonstrating that she can be a caring girlfriend.  If anything, instead of viewing it as an act of weakness, as being subservient would imply, I viewed it as a sign that she was not the type of woman who would only take from the relationship without giving back.  Obviously, a respectable quality. 

Now if one contrasts that with a normal farang / farang date you start to recognize how the whole relationship imbalance manifests itself.  It’s very difficult for a woman to screw up on a date unless she doesn’t show up, passes out drunk, or belches at the table.  It’s hard for her to screw up the date because she is not the one auditioning.  The man is primarily the one who is auditioning.  So on a normal farang / farang date the man is expected to demonstrate all of the qualities that he can bring into the relationship and the woman will either approve (agree to a second date) or disapprove (decline a second date) without ever revealing her hand.    

On a farang / Thai date both the man and woman are auditioning equally.  This is true equality and I find it refreshingly honest which is why I prefer to date Thai women.  When I date a Thai woman I feel as if I actually have some control over the situation.  It is as much up to her to impress me as it is for me to impress her.  I don’t want to say it makes you feel as if you have more power than you do in a farang / farang relationship but it’s the difference between a job interview where the company has specifically recruited you because of your unique talents and a job interview after you’ve been laid off during a recession.  In one you feel like you’re in a position of control.  If the company wants you then they need to demonstrate that they can provide you with the working environment and compensation that you feel entitled to.  In the other scenario you’re just happy to have gotten the interview.  You know what you think you’re worth but the phone isn’t exactly ringing off the hook so you’ll probably take whatever they offer even if it’s not what you think is fair. 

One needs to look no farther than romantic imagery in the media to see how imbalanced the relationship process is in farang / farang relationships.  How does a man show he loves a woman?  He buys her roses, chocolates, diamonds, gold, and other gifts.  If he’s truly the romantic type he does something huge like fly her off to Paris for an amorous holiday.  How does a woman show she loves her husband?  Well if we are to believe the media representation of farang / farang relationships then a peck on the cheek might be ample reward for those chocolates.  Giving him sex might be the payoff for a diamond ring or a Paris holiday. 

The idea of a man constantly showing his wife with gifts and affection is seen as romantic.  The idea of a woman who showers her husband with signs of affection is seen as weak and of low self-esteem.  In fact, if we’re to believe the media then the best gift a wife can give her husband is to leave him alone.  How is the husband rewarded for mowing the lawn and taking care of the manly household chores?  He’s allowed to watch football on television.  What is the husband’s reward for taking his wife out to go see a "chick flick" which bored him to tears?  He gets to go hang out with his mates for a boys night out. 

Better yet, can you imagine seeing on television a show where after taking his wife out for a very expensive and romantic dinner his wife offered to give him a foot massage?  Not the rub your big toe and then try to have sex type of massage but a proper hour long foot massage?  Yet it would seem normal if a woman comes home from an exhausting day at the office, kicks off her shoes, and her husband massages her feet as she explains everything she’s been through that day.  We call that kind of man romantic.  In fact, that is the message that Western media promotes.  Men being subservient to women is romantic and women being subservient to men is chauvinistic.   

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to say that love with a farang woman can’t be found or that you can’t find a farang woman who won’t jump through hoops to make the relationship as equal as possible but it’s much rarer in the Western world than in Thailand.  From a social point of view this change in how equality has only occurred over the last 50 or 60 years.  Back then you had housewives who took pride in performing their traditional roles.  Interestingly, according to the University of Maryland, between 1950 and 2000 the number of divorces per 1000 women married more than doubled.  Also of note is that the highest rate of divorce was during the 1970’s when women’s activism was at it’s peak.  That’s obviously not enough data to make any sort of direct correlation but this blog post isn’t a PhD thesis so allow me some latitude. 

And just as I’m not saying that finding love with a farang woman is impossible, I’m also not saying that Thai women are a piece of cake either.  In addition to things like language and cultural issues you also have people who just don’t possess the qualities you look for in a partner and/or possess personality defects.  I’ve dated more than a few girls who I hope to never see again even as a friend. 

The bottom line is that I don’t agree with the people who think all farang women are fat, whining, bitches nor do I agree with the people who say that any man who dates a Thai woman is doing so for the sex, subservient attitude, or because he’s too much of a loser to find women back in the West.  There are some very valid reasons why guys like to date Thai women and there are some very valid reasons why they don’t want to date Western women.  It’s all about what we hope to find in a relationship.  For instance, I have a mate I’ve known for well over 20 years.  I’ve seen him go through countless relationships.  The only long-term relationships he seems to have are with women who are controlling and dominating.  He likes to be a bad boy.  When he’s with submissive women he runs right over them.  When he runs into a woman who wants to control him and tame him that is when he is the most happy.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t work for me at all.  I could never date the type of women he dates and he would never have a meaningful relationship with a Thai girl.  We’re just wired differently. 

That holds true for all men.  There are some of us who aren’t satisfied with the type of women we meet in the West.  That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with those women.  They just need to find someone who’s looking for that personality type.  For us unsatisfied men, there are aspects of Thai culture that produce women who we’re more compatible with.  Different strokes for different folks. 

450 thoughts on “Why Farang Men Like Thai Girls And Hate Farang Women”

  1. I knowsome thay women who have been in many countryes, becaus they were chatting cleverly with many sexual sick farangs and hav been invited to their countrzes, each frangs did not know that she has many others to cheat….and to have holiday in each country she wnt, she pain in nature…with her body…so are these the thi women who travel around?

  2. Not me!! I never cheating anyone. I supported myself. I travel with my familiy (mum &sisters) including my friends. I dont need supporter. We travel by self drive, i did everything by myself booking accomodation air ticket req international driving permit making route planner searching info those countries via internet guide book. Why do you think thai woman dumb? I hate when you said we are easy, dessert after lunch it hurts so much. I ever feel good with farang men because i think thai men almost have habitualy drunk and gallant less responsibility. Since i read negative comments in this blog i feel so bad with you guy.

  3. Dont compare western countries with asia. Much different. You are lucky no need visa for any country meanwhile we need it.

  4. imagine if thai women dont need visa for europe, we will have prostitution invasions

  5. Hi Guys! Time out for a moment and don’t start fighting.
    @ Rachel. You are one of the good Thai ladies and yes, not easy to find one like you in Thailand. Although it’s not very polite what Ant45 is writing but to some points he is really right. Especially about the situation in Scandinavia and with majority of Thai ladies married with Scandinavians. Why I can confirm this, it’s simply because I go there every year at least 2-3 times and have family living there both in Denmark and Norway! You will be amazed how naïve the Scandinavian men are, and how Thai ladies rip them off of everything they have. There was even a TV show at Norwegian TV about this situation and they even made fun of their own nationals stupidity in regards with how they are treated and cheated by their Thai wifes. I had a big laugh with my sister and Brother in law about it while visiting them last spring in Norway. As a tourist, you only see the bright side of a country. Ant45 is also right about that their high level of alcohol consumption, piss on the streets, no fashion, boring food, etc.

    @Ant45. You should refrain from generalizing! Not all Thai ladies are Bad! And yes Rachel is one of the good girls. Please have your eyes more open and don’t judge an entire Nation because some of them are bad. This is not fair for the rest of them with are actually good/ OK people.
    Let me give you an Example. In my country have about 1.2 million gypsies who are really doing bad things around the world but this does not mean that the rest of 20 million people are the same. Unfortunately they carry our country passport and the rest of the world think that all of us are the same! Which we are not! So you need to judge a person for what it is and not for his nationality or what passport carries.

  6. agree with about gipsy doing bad things, but this blog is bout Thailand and I dont say that raquel is a bad girl, but is a stubborn… and hopeless in her defending thai culture which is used as blackmails to farangs and nothing else…thai culture is for thai people and pretending farangs to learn it, without explaining it and the only thai culture a thi woman explain to a farang is: _you must marry me, because is thai culture-…nothing else is explained, only to marry her because thai culture requires it…isnt it blackmails???this blog should be important for farangs who go to thailand aware of the reality and not with dreaming of angel who hide devils programs about them…

  7. if a farang is really interested to learn thai culure, there are books , monks and internet websided who can explain it, not just to listen to a thai woman who need improve her economical situation and use the word culture for her interest….according to thai women who meet farangs the only meaning of the word culture=marry me and give me your money

  8. @Francis. I would recommend you to start a website/ blog/ NGO teaching farangs about Thai culture and of course How to avoid being scammed by the bad Thai ladies! I thing you will get a lot of traffic and make a lot of money from the advertising 🙂

  9. gma. i wanted to keep i secret, but I am workinh´g on it…..
    besides, since a thai doctor tole me about her nurses that farangs mak them hot, but when it comes to perform, thy cannot get it hard…i will open a school about teaching sex to farangs as well….but to avoid farangs to be scammed by bad thai lady is simple, fuck them and leave them….may be give them 500 bath,,,,why not?
    buddhismus ís very nice interesting exciting philosophy,full contents of amazing good examples, buddismus is 500 years older than cristianity, but thai women make is very simple to farangs,,,they make it thai buddismus personal culture and semplify….culture=your money is my money and my money is my money and if farangs does not understand it , is a bad farang…..like italians for examples hahahaha

  10. It looks like that this blog is boring, because all farangs who are on the side of thai women and hate farangs women, are all out of comments….may be too busy to count that money they have been sucked by thai women they like??????

  11. @gma thanks for your info about Nowegian program on TV. Same here in Thailand there’s a program which warning Thai lady who chatting with Farang. Some good Thai lady was scammed by Farang. As long as the bad guys still on this earth ,we will encounter with the bad situation. For me I will stay away from them. How about you? , why dont you stay away from them too?

  12. i thinkrachelis turning the way around….thai women love norvegian men, because are sonaivest farangs inthailand, the easyest to cheat to marry and to use….thai women dont care anything else, they are not bad gzyslike rachel thinks, they are good guys, because so very easy to cheat….the programs at norvegian television mention also how thai women are bad, sick for money and willing to divorce in one day for richer man…this point is not important for rachel….but fromthai brain, what elsecan you get?…gmais a clever woman and self independent and can choose the men she likes without rachel influence….

  13. the program which show in thailand about farangs is a clear open evidence of the thai ignorance about farangs and also misleading informations to weak thai brains,,,,first as introduction, I would say that without chatting, there will be less approach to each other and same time there could be less foreigners in thailand and less prostitution and thai government without open evident prostitution-serviceds hahaha- would be in economical collapse…
    then in Thailand, the fever to find a foreigner to marry, no matter look and age, is so high, that thai women who cannot write or speak english even a word,allow friends who speaks and write english and pay them I guess 1000 bath a month and in case of succex in a marriage, the prices can go from 10.000 bath up…in other words, a woman who knows english, chat with many many farangs same time because her duty is to find connection for the other women who paid her….
    second problém which is not well explained by thai television, is: many foreigners especially from uk and usa countryes, cheat thai naive women with marriage offers and love forever and wealthy life and promise, this before coming to thailand, to send to the thai naive future wife,something like 50.000 us dollars or pounds or more money, on condition that the thai naive woman send him 10.000 bath which the farangs need in his Country for the transaction and of course, many naive women send to that man 10.000 bath, so they can get 50.000 us dollars or something like that and when the foreigners…the cheaters..get tht amount 10.000 bath in their value…bye bye.bye …

    again mostly are from usa and from uk, never from southern european countryes….and sometime they use different thrick: they chat with naive thai woman, promise love and marry and to show their love, they promise to send to the thai lady a package with luis Vitton purse and gucci perfume and more gold rings and value alsoabout that much as above mentioned, but also in this case the thailady must pay about 10.000 bath to get that package, which when she gets it, is only toilette papers inside….again, mostly are from uk and usa, without discriminating usa and uk, it is all true what i have described and i can prove it….and many many other thricks are used by such farangs to cheat naive women, not only thai women anyway…
    so may be are these the kind of farangs thai television mention? or thai teleision is so weak and with only silly comedy about thai love story which look like if they are 200 years behind normal world….give right information and details is not in the will or capacity of thaiinformation


  15. @ Rachel. Yes, Thai TV should show and inform Thai people about how to avoid being scammed. And we all have to accept that there are bad personas all around the world. The difference between farangs and Thai’s debating this subject, is about the fact That we Farangs don’t fear to talk or expose the real truth in order to learn from our mistakes, but Thai’s feel ashamed and embarrassed to admit problems, take them in their hands to get it solved. “This attitude of not “Loosing Face” its really damaging to the society. Once Thailand and Thai people will really accept with loud voice that there are problems which they need to address, in this case to the prostitution, (sorry Rachel, this is nothing personal and please don’t take it as such) things will not get better.
    Yes I’m an independent woman in Thailand, I have my own business, I love the people around me and this country. And it’s really painful for me as foreigner, to see that Thai government does not do anything to help, educate, or find a solution in order to elevate the status level of those girls, and change the imagine of this country. 🙁 Rachel I’m not in a company of bad people, and I really stay away from those. My opinions are very objective and yes, I can see it from 2 sites prospective. Likewise I ‘ve said earlier, there are good and bad people everywhere! Please don’t take this personal! You are a smart a bright girl! I’m really glad I had the chance to exchange some opinions with you. Hope I will have the chance to meet you personally one day. Have a good evening!

  16. Hey,I never said that I agree with the bad thai lady cheating naive farang. I never said that I love norwegian men I only like people there because they are friendly and kindly and I’ve got the kind help from them when I was stuck at Alta airport last year.
    The security officials of airport striked thier government requesting thier salary adjustment. The airport closed and norwegian air postponed flight to be next day. What gonna do that moment? hotel full ,we had no accommodation ,just be wait at the airport.Unfortunately, the security official do not allow us stay at the airport they said “you must leave here before midnight”.
    Until midnight come ,the official walked straight to me ,they said “you can sleep at the terminal tonight” It was my bad and good memories at the same time and I just pointed that there still have a kind person anywhere in this world, luck or bad luck we will find? I regret to know this is the big concern for farang man who looking for thai lady with a part of his life. I support you to educate farang men how to avoid the bad thai lady. likewise,you should be fare with the good thai lady too.

  17. is one personal example enough to judge a Country?
    In thailand there is a classification to value foreigners, scandinavian are first because are naive and buy house without brain, then uk, and usa and canadian or australian….in norway lives 5 milions people and 1 milions are abroad hunting and marry women especially in thiland, same is sweden and danmark…in Italy we have 60 milions of people and only few thousend in thailand…how strange, isnt it? besides when i chat with thai women, they prefer farangs who have never been in Thailand and are not so happy to know that I speak thai…just opposite as it would happens in europe,,,,I speak good german french and spanish and peopleof those countryes are very happy to ackowledge of it…is thailand women are afraid that If I have been in Thailand many times and speak thai, i know too much about their cheatings and they dontlike me…fortuntely I also dont like them and i know many other kind of thai people who are so proud and crazy for me….norway friendly? boring friendlysameaspeopleat madame tissaud in london

  18. I was in sweden and danmark and i was thinking that life does not exist, life there is like in mummie museum

  19. That’s your feeing with them. Who cares?
    Do you feel like or dislike ,who wants to know?. Your standard is not need the same the others. Who judges this one good , this one bad? It up to independent of each people. Dont judge your thinking is the right or perfect !! It may be wrong for another one. Okay?

  20. I guess that Francis & Ant45 is the same person. Ant stand for Antonio (Sorry if I’m wrong).

  21. rachel is always discussing the impossible and refuse evidences…i am not ant…may be you are nor rachel, but rachelo,,,who knows?
    somany ladyboys in thailand, so onemoreorless, nobody will notice….

  22. rachel is always discussing the impossible and refuse evidences…i am not ant…may be you are nor rachel, but rachelo,,,who knows?
    somany ladyboys in thailand, so one more or less, nobody will notice….

  23. rachel is always discussing the impossible and refuse evidences…i am not ant…may be you are nor rachel, but rachelo,,,who knows?
    so many ladyboys in thailand, so one more or less, nobody will notice….

  24. Iam physioterapist and nothing to do with francis, but we have been both in thailand and see things with either eyes….as milions other persons see, miss rachel …or?

  25. I am a real woman but no matter what do you think am a lady or ladyboy!! Sometimes i think why must waste my time to debate with the person who never give me a good reason. (except gma). She has many reasons and info to make me accept. For you both am very tied to talk to. But at least i can learn that what a bad thai lady image in foriegner sight! i will share this issue to my female friends and we will be careful when we meet farang men.


  27. how can rachel inform her friends to be carefull to meet farangs, if it is their desire to meet them and to cheat them…why you want to také her work away from them?
    is better you inform farangs to be carefull to meet your friends……

  28. ha ha ha you don’t understand my point. I said we will be careful when we meet farang that means to be careful about our demeanor which can be misleading we are easy.
    Sometimes it’s funny when i argued with you.
    one question please,why ant45 typed cap lock like Francis?

  29. I sont know about cap lock….
    hahaha I understand your point and you dont understand my point,becuuse you are thai and thai women dont have enough brain tounderstand, but big brain to cheat farangs…
    my point is that thai women are really easywhen smell money or smell a naive farang to suck, therefore farangs bust be carefull to meet thai women, because liers and cheaters, with the only straight interest to have money and nothing else…thai women are very very easy for….honestly i have been around the world, but never meet women who open their their legs so easily like in thailand and also not just bar girls….my be when at Google you read the in thailand are the highest number of prostitutes in the world and that thailand is a sex industry, means that also google type with same cap lock?

  30. thai women dont have the honesty to admit evidences….you dont want to loose face, but dont need to loose face…thai faces are already lost…only you are not honest to yourself

    Normally, nobody typed Capital letters on PC or cellphone but I saw only you (Francis&Ant45) did it.
    Again and again,Duplicate wordings: cheating,
    suck,easy,prostitute,open leg…bla bla bla..
    Losing face? the person is losing face is you.

  32. you are too blind and prefer accept the indecency of thai women who damage your country and have problems about caps lock…loosing face is another idiotish thai minoritycomplex…may be ask bill bangcock and ruai,you are too under educated to face such problems….you have no comments and you dont analize my comments correctly…sobetter you chat with donald duck



  35. if the editor avoid publishing some comments,then should close this silly blog,
    there is no sense about discuss who is better, if thai or farangs women. One thing should be very clear:thai women are only afret money and dont care is marry a farangs they have never seen beforeand if look ugly and old, because money had the priority above all and farangs after milions of evidents example of
    organised cheating by thai women, still persist to be blind and never understand reality

  36. so now nomore farangs like thai women and hate farangs women, at least dont know what to write anymore…..

  37. I’m a 23 year old guy and my decision was made. I’m gonna live in Thailand and move permanently in a few months. I can no longer stand Western women which are not women at all to me actually, more like demons in the body of a woman. Goodbye doomed Western world. Thailand just got herself a new skilled engineer for free.

  38. There are many things you do not know about Thailand. If you want to see Thailand in a good way. Stop at the bars and Pattaya or something that will make you have sex easily because that’s the bad side.

  39. Remember, you buy them for sex, she will give you just that and only.
    Good Thai girl does not work at the bar and you have simple sex, I can warn you. Then use the brain that you say you are good. I know you are good enough to distinguish what good Thai women should be.

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