I have a good mate who is married to a non-Thai woman. Although separated by several continents she has many of the same values as a Thai woman. They were having dinner one night with a farang couple. My mate’s wife offhandedly mentioned that sometimes when her husband gets home from work she’ll pour a basin of water and wash his feet.
The farang woman was aghast. She, in her self-righteous zeal, berated the wife for being subservient. She told her she should more pride in herself and not allow herself to be treated like a slave.
The wife, biting her tongue as best she could, told the farang woman that she doesn’t do it because he expects her to. For her it is a way of showing appreciation. Her husband provides for her very well and they own several beautiful homes. She wants for nothing. She went on to tell the farang that her husband is a loving and caring man who attends to her emotionally as well as financially and that she loves him very much. She asked why it should seem so strange to do something for her husband that he finds relaxing and enjoying.
Like I said, she was biting her tongue as best she could but her feelings were eventually betrayed in her last sentence on the topic. "Perhaps if you Western women showed your husbands some respect and appreciation for being a good husband the divorce rate in your country wouldn’t be over 50%."
This interaction is a perfect illustration of why so many farang men fall in love with Thai women. It also serves to illustrate why so many farang women simply cannot grasp why farang men seem to prefer Thai women. The farang women think they know but they are as wrong as first timer to Thailand who can’t see past the Thai smile.
Farang women, generally, think that farang men are attracted to Thai women is because they are submissive. They think the men are attracted because they can get a girlfriend half their age. They think that the men are attracted to the tight little Asian bodies.
The farang woman is correct but only to a certain degree. Yes, men are attracted to those things but there’s more to it than just that. Farang men also want to feel appreciated and respected. Yet, as the story told above demonstrates your average farang woman would never lower themselves. Farang women cherish their equality too much to do something that seems to them to be so one-sided.
However there’s an inequality in most farang / farang relationships. By that I mean that when you weigh all of the tangible and intangible qualities each party brings to the relationship the man, generally, is bringing more to the table than the woman. For instance, in few farang / farang marriages does the husband earn less than the wife. Likewise, you’re far more likely to find an attractive man married to an average looking woman than to find an attractive woman married to an average looking man. There are no absolutes here but just going by the numbers this is more true than not.
So you have these inequalities in most relationships. I know that’s a hard pill for some people to swallow but one only need to look at the number of men who graduate with degrees in economics, mathematics, computer science, medicine, and the other hard sciences vs. the number of women. Men, just going by the numbers, are more likely to be the higher earner. So right from the starting blocks you have an income discrepancy between the two. In order for the relationship to equalize she needs to bring something of the same value to the relationship.
Unfortunately, Western women cherish the concept of equality too much. Tell a secretary making £30,000 a year that she needs to bring something extra to the table in order to marry a software engineer making £60,000 and, rightly or wrongly, she’ll accuse you of being a chauvinist. So men just tend to accept that as part of life. Tradition says that their job is to be the primary earner so they accept it unquestioningly.
But there’s a catch. Even though, traditionally, that means that the woman should shoulder more of the household chores and generally try to provide a good home life for her husband who has been fulfilling his traditional role, many farang women feel that that role is outdated and beneath them. Whether that is true or not is not for me to answer but in one way or the other the woman has to bring things back to balance or the relationship simply isn’t going to work. Perhaps she’s much more attractive than her husband. That might even things out. Maybe she’s a wildcat in the sack. That might balance things out. Maybe she knows just when and just how to stroke her husband’s ego. Maybe that’s what evens things out. I don’t know what it is as it will be different for different couples but without the balance the relationship is doomed.
I believe this is why you often see so much hostility directed at farang women by farang men who have been fortunate enough to have a relationship with a Thai woman. Even if they don’t fully realize it consciously, it dawns on them that they’ve been getting the short end of the stick in most relationships. And like finding out your girlfriend has been sleeping around on you behind your back the farang man feels humiliated for being taken for such a fool. His rage is often so out of proportion with the actual damage done that he dismisses all farang women as . . . . well, I could list several derogatory terms here but I’ll allow the reader to fill in his/her own.
Personally, I don’t hate farang women. I don’t date them very often nowadays but I don’t hate them. I do prefer to date Thai women. Not for the reasons that most farang women might think but because Thai women tend to try to balance out the relationship. Obviously you cannot talk about an entire sex and not have exceptions. There are Thai women who’s mind set is more like the farang women I’ve described and there are farang women who have an outlook more like the Thai women I describe. That’s why I try to steer clear of making sweeping statements and say things like "tend to" or "normally."
It’s funny because most farang men have brainwashed themselves into believing many of the same things as farang women. I guess it’s natural since we come from the same culture. I remember the first time it really struck me. She was Thai with a good job, had a post-graduate degree, and was certainly not the poor farmer’s daughter stereotype. We were having dinner and when the food arrived she served me and then herself. When my water glass was half empty (or half full depending on how you look at it) she would fill it.
I was a little uncomfortable with that so I indicated she didn’t need to serve me. She insisted gently saying "You relax. I take care of you." As I thought about it, it made sense. If she likes you then demonstrating that she can be a good girlfriend or wife is very important to her. It would be the same as a guy holding a door open or pulling the seat out for his date. This is her way of saying that she likes me and that this is one of the qualities she intends to bring to the relationship.
Perhaps farang women will think she was being subservient but I thought of it as part of the dance we call dating. I show my ability to provide by taking her to a nice place to eat and she reciprocates by demonstrating that she can be a caring girlfriend. If anything, instead of viewing it as an act of weakness, as being subservient would imply, I viewed it as a sign that she was not the type of woman who would only take from the relationship without giving back. Obviously, a respectable quality.
Now if one contrasts that with a normal farang / farang date you start to recognize how the whole relationship imbalance manifests itself. It’s very difficult for a woman to screw up on a date unless she doesn’t show up, passes out drunk, or belches at the table. It’s hard for her to screw up the date because she is not the one auditioning. The man is primarily the one who is auditioning. So on a normal farang / farang date the man is expected to demonstrate all of the qualities that he can bring into the relationship and the woman will either approve (agree to a second date) or disapprove (decline a second date) without ever revealing her hand.
On a farang / Thai date both the man and woman are auditioning equally. This is true equality and I find it refreshingly honest which is why I prefer to date Thai women. When I date a Thai woman I feel as if I actually have some control over the situation. It is as much up to her to impress me as it is for me to impress her. I don’t want to say it makes you feel as if you have more power than you do in a farang / farang relationship but it’s the difference between a job interview where the company has specifically recruited you because of your unique talents and a job interview after you’ve been laid off during a recession. In one you feel like you’re in a position of control. If the company wants you then they need to demonstrate that they can provide you with the working environment and compensation that you feel entitled to. In the other scenario you’re just happy to have gotten the interview. You know what you think you’re worth but the phone isn’t exactly ringing off the hook so you’ll probably take whatever they offer even if it’s not what you think is fair.
One needs to look no farther than romantic imagery in the media to see how imbalanced the relationship process is in farang / farang relationships. How does a man show he loves a woman? He buys her roses, chocolates, diamonds, gold, and other gifts. If he’s truly the romantic type he does something huge like fly her off to Paris for an amorous holiday. How does a woman show she loves her husband? Well if we are to believe the media representation of farang / farang relationships then a peck on the cheek might be ample reward for those chocolates. Giving him sex might be the payoff for a diamond ring or a Paris holiday.
The idea of a man constantly showing his wife with gifts and affection is seen as romantic. The idea of a woman who showers her husband with signs of affection is seen as weak and of low self-esteem. In fact, if we’re to believe the media then the best gift a wife can give her husband is to leave him alone. How is the husband rewarded for mowing the lawn and taking care of the manly household chores? He’s allowed to watch football on television. What is the husband’s reward for taking his wife out to go see a "chick flick" which bored him to tears? He gets to go hang out with his mates for a boys night out.
Better yet, can you imagine seeing on television a show where after taking his wife out for a very expensive and romantic dinner his wife offered to give him a foot massage? Not the rub your big toe and then try to have sex type of massage but a proper hour long foot massage? Yet it would seem normal if a woman comes home from an exhausting day at the office, kicks off her shoes, and her husband massages her feet as she explains everything she’s been through that day. We call that kind of man romantic. In fact, that is the message that Western media promotes. Men being subservient to women is romantic and women being subservient to men is chauvinistic.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to say that love with a farang woman can’t be found or that you can’t find a farang woman who won’t jump through hoops to make the relationship as equal as possible but it’s much rarer in the Western world than in Thailand. From a social point of view this change in how equality has only occurred over the last 50 or 60 years. Back then you had housewives who took pride in performing their traditional roles. Interestingly, according to the University of Maryland, between 1950 and 2000 the number of divorces per 1000 women married more than doubled. Also of note is that the highest rate of divorce was during the 1970’s when women’s activism was at it’s peak. That’s obviously not enough data to make any sort of direct correlation but this blog post isn’t a PhD thesis so allow me some latitude.
And just as I’m not saying that finding love with a farang woman is impossible, I’m also not saying that Thai women are a piece of cake either. In addition to things like language and cultural issues you also have people who just don’t possess the qualities you look for in a partner and/or possess personality defects. I’ve dated more than a few girls who I hope to never see again even as a friend.
The bottom line is that I don’t agree with the people who think all farang women are fat, whining, bitches nor do I agree with the people who say that any man who dates a Thai woman is doing so for the sex, subservient attitude, or because he’s too much of a loser to find women back in the West. There are some very valid reasons why guys like to date Thai women and there are some very valid reasons why they don’t want to date Western women. It’s all about what we hope to find in a relationship. For instance, I have a mate I’ve known for well over 20 years. I’ve seen him go through countless relationships. The only long-term relationships he seems to have are with women who are controlling and dominating. He likes to be a bad boy. When he’s with submissive women he runs right over them. When he runs into a woman who wants to control him and tame him that is when he is the most happy. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work for me at all. I could never date the type of women he dates and he would never have a meaningful relationship with a Thai girl. We’re just wired differently.
That holds true for all men. There are some of us who aren’t satisfied with the type of women we meet in the West. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with those women. They just need to find someone who’s looking for that personality type. For us unsatisfied men, there are aspects of Thai culture that produce women who we’re more compatible with. Different strokes for different folks.
@francis. I like your humour and I truly understand and sympathise with many of your feelings. I came here married and my family was destroyed by an educated lady which was really after my huband’s money and his good looking white skin. But guess what? I was smart enough to take everything away from him and give the Bitch an empty farang. The rest is history. Nevertheless, I have also found good Thai girls and good Thai people which have helped me overcome my situation and I’m very grateful to them. And thanks to them and their help and Support I’ve made the decision to stay in Thailand, fight the odds and eventually make a happy life here. This is why I cannot generalize that all of them are bad. Yes Google will say many bad things about Thai ladies but in the same time you will find many good stories as well. OHH and about the Italians making love in Thailand… That’s also a funny remark. I speak quite well your language, and once I was in a boat travelling from Kho Larn to Pattaya and heard two Italians man talking about their sexual adventures in Pattaya. Believe me it was nothing about love, but pure dirty sex discussions on how to do it with a Thai woman. I could not stop smiling, and they suddenly realised I could understand their conversation and then they changed the topic. Fact! Most of the farangs coming to Thailand for holiday are coming for sex regardless their nationality. Now it’s up to the girls weather they want to play the game or not! But saying Italians are coming here for love it’s a bit too exaggerated!
No I’m not into dating Thai guys, not because of their banana size, but simply because I just don’t think my culture with fit with theirs. If you really want to know the reality on the ground you better come here, spend a year or too, learn about the Thai culture and way of life and eventually you will change your views hopefully better.
gma
I agree entirely about italians go to Thailand for sex and directly to pattaya,,,many people who has been in Thailand (men) mention pattaya and italian television has reported about pattaya, shwin italians playng heros with thai girls, like play boy and this progran has disgusted most of normal people and degratueted also Thailand, while i must admit, so many nice people in small village Always smiling and Always willing to help us…
but i was alone in all those small villages near nong khai bambeng sri chang mai and i was happy and more smiling than thaipeople, because i was happy and i love Thailand…but at the other side, so many thai women damage the reputation of the country with fake marriage and organised sucking farangs left and right and feel also right to do it…
italians who go to Thailand are last lever of the society and i think you are right about what you write…..
can we change the world? i wish we could
but i am a man, i have thai women as good friends and i love some of them because i am a naughty boy….i but i give and get the best part of it,,,i give love and get love and of course sometime i also invite them to dinner at candle light and rest i like to keep secret….love a thai woman is sweet great and feeling like in heaven…to marry her can be a joirner from heawven to hell
so thai women, if you look for husband dont look at me…i Always forget mt atm bank card at home…hehehehe
honestly, i find impossible to fall in love with a thai women, because she comes from a country where love does not exist, is only fake love, plastic made and without any content, only materialistic interest without and decency…this is why i am surprised that still esist so many naive farangs….sex hunger= blindness…
do sex , pay …..and go…. and thai women will learn the lesson
So francis, afterall your oppinion is not so negative about all Thai ladies and I’m glad you’ve had wonderful time in those small villages, loved Thailand and it’s people. Of course you can find genuine love in this country. Do you really believe that all Thai marriages are material based? People all around the world has love feelings but again I guess its a matter of culture and understanding what love it all about and how you express it and understand it.
We, westearn woman have been grew up to be equal with our man,and demand equality in the same time.We were thought to have a job, to earn an income, to look after our kids and husbands,to be loving wifes and do everything for our family, while thai ladies have been thought since they were young that man has to provide financially and woman has to take good care and be submisive to thier husbands.Unfortunately in Thailand the equality between man and woman wasn’t a value in thier society until recently, when things start to change due to the economical needs and Thai woman realised that she can have a perfectly good life if she earn her own income. Of course they have been also thought to be good mothers and so one…
Love can be expressed in many ways.
Italians and in generally the latino nations are passionate, romantic, very family minded,while scandinavians are more cold, silent and no so romantic but this does not mean they don’t have love feelings. Just that they don’t like to express it so openly like the italians. Thais are romantic too, but thier culture doesn’t alow them to show wide openly in public. I have hardly seen a Thai couple kissing or holding hands in public. They even not kiss their children in public! They just smells them and smile. It’s actually kind of cute how they smell their kids 🙂 And this is where the culture crash comes in. We farangs are raised diffrent. The reason why farangs likes Thai ladies, despide all those talks of small vagina, dark skin, slim, sweet simle, etc its exaclty the fact that a Thai lady will never have the guts to stand tall against her man, but instead she will just approve him and give him the usual answer ” Up to you my teerak”. And most of the man simply like that! Thai ladies knows very well how to avoid a confruntation talk and they can control their mind very good. This is the reason why Falang Man likes Thai ladies but this does not mean they hate falang woman! Raised my case!
@gma
I strongly agree with your posting in the last paragraph “spend a year or too, learn about the Thai culture and way of life and eventually you will change your views hopefully better” not only learn from Google.
The reason why I accessed to this website because of there are many farang men requested me to be thier friend and then we talk each other for awhile ,some wants to have a relationship with me in spite of he just saw my profile picture on FB (never see each other face to face). I wonder why Farang man is easy. For Thai culture we need time to learn more each other and have a relationship by gradully process until make sure and marry in finally. More over Thai culture teach the lady should keep her verginity until she marry.
I’m glad to hear Farang lady’s voice without prejudice like you. I accept there are good and bad Thai women in my country. I want to be a representative of good Thai lady and keep our good culture also .
I never have Farang boyfriend and never think to catup up them. I love my single life and I think my income including my strongly financial of my family can be supported me. I don’t need money from others.
I have mine.
really? good girl
but if you look for a farangs with well loaded atm bank card….dont look at me …hehehe
@Rachel Thank you for agreeing with me in some points. As a human being we just need to learn, accept or disagree with one each other. But this does not mean we have to offend anyone or Insult. Like I said, Thailand has equally wonderful and bad woman or man. It’s good to know know you want to be a good example. I can’t remember how I came on this site, but I was very disguised about the topic of Farang man hating farang woman and this is why I start writing.As I said many times the subject of this topic is way out of the line and some of the comments here are proving it. So Billycook find a better subject for debating as this one sucks and generates the wrong discussions.
@Francis. Let me tell you something funny about being an ATM Machine… The trend started to change recently the other way around. Means some of the Farang man are looking at Thai ladies as ATM Machines. I know 2 farang guys living with Thai ladies for their money and wealth. Let’s be honest, Western economies are getting bankrupt and Asians are becoming more wealthy than many of Farangs are! So eventually you will see many farangs in Thailand looking for wealthy Thai ladies hehe!
FARANGS COME TO THAILAND FREENO VISA AND STAY ONE MONTHS OR 3 MONTHS WITH EASY VISA, BUT THAI? THAI NEED VISA TO GO EVERYWHERE AND ALSO FOR THAI DOCTOR IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO GET A TURIST VISA FOR EUROPE OR ELSE WHERE, WHULE EACH FARANGS WASH DISHER CAN GO TO THAILAND JUST LIKE TO GO TO COFFEE SHOP…SO BEFORR YOU SPEAK ABOUT BANKRUPT, WAIT AT LEAST 20 YEARS AND MAY BE ASIA AGAIN WILL BE IN RECESSION AND AGAIN NO VISA FOR WESTERN COUNTRY…I HAVE NEVER SEN A RICH THAI PAY THE BILL, THEY ARE ALL WAITING FOR FARANGS TO PAY SAME AS BEGGARS….
YES MANY ATM IN THAILAND…THAI ATM BELONG TO THAI AND FARANGS ATM BELONG TO THAI SELFISH WOMEN….DONT LOOK AT ME HEHEHE…I AM TOO CLEVER FOR THAI PEOPLE BELIEVE ME
THAI RICH WOMEN DONT SPEND A BATH FOR A FARANGS, DONT WORRY
ABOUT THE TREND CHANGING,,,HAHAHA, I SEE MILIONS THAI TOUSIRTS RICH GO TO EUROPE AS TOURISTS AND NO MORE EUROPEAN HAVE MONEY TO GO TO THAILAND…FORGIVE ME GMA,BUT WHEN YOU WAKE UP, DONT WRITE WHAT YOU HAVE DREAMED, STAY ON REALITY
PLEASE I HAVE ENOUGH ABOUT THAI NONSENSES
CAN ANYBODY TELL ME HOW IS LIFE IN THE PHILIPPINES? ABOUT VISA ABOUT PEOPLE ABOUT FOOD ABOUT CULTURE ABOUT CRIMINALITY, IN OTHER WORDS CAN SOMEBODY DESCRIBE WIDELY ABOUT PHILIPPINES?
@gma – I disagreed with the topic too “Hate Farang women” ,very nonsence. Please believe me no Thai woman thought like that but the opposite side we are appreciated Farang women style ,Almost Thai women said you look so beautiful,we like Farang personality ,you look smart both male and female. You are lucky in your country you have women right more than Asia. I can learn that even where women come from? They have good mentality and good thinking better than men.
Regarding the VISA, Visa enter to United of America is easilest to apply for me. No need Financial Statement or any documents ,they accept by my Verification of Employment only and granted me stay 10 years. For Visa Shengken is not hard for me, I have been either Western & Eastern Europe more than 20 countries. I like Scandinavian most , people there very friendly and never look down Asian ,even thouhg they are the rich country
They speak quite good English. (I’ve got the problem about language when I stayed in France, Italy ,Spain ,Austria,Hungary,Czech etc. Probably Thai speak English better than them. I’m glad and welcome Farang like you stay in TH. Hope you enjoy and success in your life.
@Rachel. Thank you very much for your appreciation and wishes. I know Thai ladies like foreign ladies look, mentality and thinking and they are trying very hard to be the same like us. You are definitely right about visa matter for Thai citizens wishing to visit other parts of the world. As long as they have an stable income and employment the visa is granted by any country. Yes perhaps Francis experiences are only with bar girls,street girls or those who has poor education or simply bad persons. People who has nothing to show in their income or could not provide an employment letter. Due to my job I often travel in Europe or Japan and I was very impressed to see Thai tourists everywhere. Well behaved, well dressed, very polite and quite good shoppers. What I fully disagree with Francis generalization that ALL THAI PEOPLE ARE BAD, ETC ETC. But I will reply to him as well soon with my other arguments. Thanks again for your wishes and for welcoming into your country. 🙂
@Francis, I’m more awake and alive here in Thailand with the Thai reality then you are down there in Italy. Just please don’t generalize that all Thais are bad, corrupted, and so on. It’s just not the case! And as journalist, you should have a very neutral and moderate opinion,while being well informed from all sources and points of view, before you make statements.
Regarding Philippines the story can be similarly with Thailand. There a major difference though. Most of the Philippinos are speaking quite good English.
MAY BE DEAR GMA, YOU DONT UNDERSTAND MY POINTS, WHICH CAN BE MISLEADING, BUT AT THE END ARE CLOSE TO FACTS…I LOVE THAILAND SO VERY VERY MUCH AND I SUFFER WHN I MEET ARROGANT THAI RICH PEOPLE WHO NEVER SMILE, BECAUSE SMILE BELONGS TO SIMPLE THAI PEOPLE WHO ARE IN MY HEART…I AM SAD ABOUT THAI POLICEMEN IF NOT ALL CORRUPTED, BUT FOR SURE ALL UNDER INFLUENCE OF THE RICH AND ALWAYS READY TO FORGIVE MISTAKES IN DRIVING, OF THAI GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE AND PUNISH WHO THEI WANT….MAI MEE KOTMAI (NO RULES AND LAWS?) EXCUSE ME MY BAD THAI, I SIMPATIZE WITH THAILAND SO MUCH TO FORGIVE THE MILIONS INSECTS WHO BOTHER ME WHEN I EAT OUTSIDE AND TO FORGIVE THE SWEET SMILING PROSTITUTES WHO GREET ME AND WINK ME GENTLY AND I LIKE THAILAND SO MUCH, TO FORGIVE THE 1000 DOGS WHO ARE FRIENDLY AT DAYTIME AND WANT TO BITE ME AT NIGHT AND FORGIVE THE ELEPHANTS WHO WANT TO EAT MY SOPOLOT AND MANGOS AT NIGHT WHEN I AM WALKING AND I LOVE EVERYTHING OF THE COUNTRY, BECAUSE ALSO BAD THINGS IN THAILAND LOOK NICE AND PLEASANT……
I WAS AT SILOM WITH RED SHIRTS APRIL 3 YEARS AGO AND SLEPT ON FLOOR SPEAKING IN SOMEHOW WITH PEOPLE, IN SPITE OF POLICE, WHICH WERE ALWAYS KIND OF FRIENDLY, EXCEPT LAST DAYS WHEN I HAD TO ESCAPE WHEN SOLDIERS CAME AND KILLED A OVER 60 THAI RED SHIRT AND ALSO MY FRIEND FABIO, JUST 51 YEARS OLD, BECAUSE HE WAS THERE JUST TO SIMPATIZE WITH RED SHIRTS WITHOUT ANY POLITICAL VALID REASON, JUT SIMPATHY FOR THE SIMPLE PEOPLE, SAME AS I HAD…BUT WHAT I WILL NEVER ACCEPT IS THE HUGE QUANTITY OF THAI WOMEN WHO LOOK FOR FARANGS TO MARRY, REGARDLESS LOOK AND AGE AS LONG AS THERE IS AN ECONOMICAL CONVENIENCE,,,,
BUT HONESTLY, IN ITALY, WE HAVE MORE PROBLEMS AND WE SHOULD CONCERN ABOUT HOW TO FIND A WAY OUT FROM OUR TOO MUCH CRIMINALITY AND CORRUPTION….BUT THE BLOG IS ABOUT THAILAND ANYWAY…
ABOUT PHILIPPINES, THAT THEY SPEAK GOOD ENGLISH, IT COULD BE EITHER AN ADVANTAGE OR A PROBLEM, BECAUSE SOMETIME IS BETTER TO AVOID PEOPLE WHO KNOW TOO MUCH AND TOO WRONG…..BUT I HAVE TO GO THERE AND I AM NOT SO MUCH HAPPY ABOUT IT…..I WISH I COULD AVOID IT
@Francis. I understand all your points very well and I believe everyone reading this conversation understand it, regardless they are Thai or foreigners. To be honest I hate the word Farang as it’s very disrespectfully, but on the other hand you cannot enforce upon all Thais to say “Thanachat” instead of Farang. So I have to accept this although it’s very frustrating, in the same way I have to accept many other thing which I don’t like or not agree with, if I want to live here. I’m very sorry to hear your story and the los of your friend Fabio. That must have been a very painful event. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time! 🙁
You asked earlier, can we change the word ? NOOOOOOO we can’t unfortunately. We cannot compare Thailand with any European country, America, Australia or Singapore and therefore we cannot demand the same standards. Believe me, I could make a very long list with things I don’t like here, and wish to change into the Thai society, but it’s not up us foreigners to make those changes, but it’s up to the Thai people to do that. And Yes Thai society its very different and sometimes very difficult to understand because we compare it with ours and with our set of values, which are very much different here in Thailand. Everything you mentioned in your earlier post are FACTS, and yes I agree with them but again can we change all those? NO! Many Thais are not happy either with all those facts you mentioned, and therefore you see so much political instability in this country.
Things will change here as well, just take takes more time, it’s a very slow process unfortunately.
About the quantity of Thai ladies marrying farangs for the economical convenience guess what? The only way to change this, is to educate the farangs and prevent them to fall into the marriage trap with the wrong woman. There is no woman in this world who can force any man to marry her. SO if the man goes and sign that marriage certificate with the Thai lady, it’s based on his own decision! NOBODY IN THIS WORLD CAN FORCE ANYONE TO GET MARRIED! If they are stupid and weak hearted, then they deserve their destiny! Period!
Sure you do have problems in Italy like every country has. And it’s up to the politicians which people voted, media and society in general to change those and improve it.
You are right about being careful with whom you talk and what you talk. Just be more silent, don’t share too much and listen more. Try to be more Asian then Italian in your behavior, and everything will be just fine. Don’t worry to much about your trip to The Philippines. They have good food, people are nice and friendly and I’m sure you will enjoy more there than in Thailand because they are more western minded, since they have been colonized in the past,and there is a lot of American influence. Have a safe trip!
@gma You are right.I’m a Thai who never satisfied everthing in my country. We’d like to change something and hopefully will be better in the future. Unfortunately, Thai people divide two side as you heard Red shirt and Yellow shirt being until today.
Once I had been in Red shirt protesting at Ratchaprasong three years ago. The people requested former government for Dissolution because they came from Coup. Unfortunately, the government selected to used violence with the people and at least 90 people were killed inclulded Mr.Fabio the Italian journalist.On behalf of Thai people we are very deeply sorry with the bad situation with him .He was in wrong place and wrong time like you said. Definitely,Only Thai people who can change the Thai society. I am the middle class of Thai people , I accept majority vote and I’d like to see economic equality in Thai society. Talking about Marriage of Farang and Thai woman , No matter what they are come from but depends on two person and thier own dicision.
Hey guy, Please be concerned about “Emong”
tropical depression during this time in Philippines.
@Rachel. Yes Rachel, I remember those events and I personally sympathized with Red shirts as well back than and I was very shocked/disappointed about the Coup events and how the yellows got into the power. Now to be honest after 1 year of getting in power, I don’t see any much improvement and I start to doubt their capabilities to, eradicate corruption, improve the educational system, create better conditions for woman, etc etc. I don’t think this politicians are good either for simple fact that they don’t have a good strong leader. People say Taksin is ruling the party from Dubai but I seriously doubt. As long as he is not here, how can he enforce a policy? Via his sister? Mai dai! impossible. And there is much more to say about Thai politics but I would like to stop here, because this is an endless topic and I can write about it forever. Yes you are right marriage is about two people decision and does not matter what nationality they are and where are they coming from. But Damn it I don’t like to hear that all Thai woman are bad and they marry farangs only for money because it’s simply not true. And if Farangs man are stupid enough to be fooled by a Thai lady only for money, then I must admit that Thai ladies are very smart! Cheers and greetings from Si Racha. My lovely Thai city with my lovely Thai people friends, neighbors, co-workers.
anyway SILOM 3 YEARS AGO APRIL… belong to past and i am lucky i was clever escape from backside of red shirt demonstration near intercontinetal hotel and a friendly red shirt taxi driver took me home to hotel at samsen6, not far from khaosan…what i dont understand is why when Yellow shirt invaded the international bkk airport, no soldiers there to shoot at kille, no problem at all there.. and also foreignere at airport where treated well, but when the demonstration was organized by opposition red shirt, begging for more equality and democracy, they had not same treatment…fabio was not really a journalist, was a freelance, nobody in italy did inquire about his Death, apart my comment on http://www.ilfattoqutidiano.it 24 hours a day, online), but nobody in italy took that news of any interest and comment….
farangs according to me is a silly word which make thai people to feel that are important, hiding under that word about their minority complex, i find it even a compliment and funny…in germany they called us “gastarbeiter” in switzerland “fremdarbeiter” and in italy we call foreigners non european “extracomunitari”….so everywhere you go, you are “SOMEBODY” ,,,,,
i AM NOT CONCERNED ABOUT THAI POLITIC, APART CURIOUSITY,…IN ITALY WE DONT KNOW AND DONT FOLLOW TAKSIN OR ANYBODY ELSE, WE ARE MORE CURIOUS TO KNOW WHY IN THILAND PEOPLE MARRY BUDDA CEREMONY AND NOT HAVE ANY CERTIFICATE TO PROVE THE HAPPENINGS AND WHY MARRY AND DIVORCE ARE SO EASY, MUCH EASYER THAN HAVING DINNER,,,THEREFORE I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THAI WOMEN ALWAYS MENTION THAI CULTURE ABOUT MARRY, WHEN THEY KNOW THAT TO MARRY IN THAILAND IS JUST A GAME….I WOULD SAY THE GOOSE GAME, THAT THE MORE YOU GO AHEAD , THE SUDDENDLY YOU ARE BACK…SO WHAT IN THAILAND CALL (BLACKMAIL) THAI CULTURE, IN ITALY WE CALL A TOTAL SUPERFICIAL COMEDY NONSENSE WITHOUT AND CONTENT….WE MARRY IN THE CHURCH RELIGIOUSLY AND IT IS FOREVER,…IN THAILAND THEY MARRY RELIGIOUS AT BUDDA AND IS ONY FOR PARTY , FOR DRINK AND EAT AND IF THEY WANT, THEN CAN MARRY 365 TIMES A YEARS,,,IS NOT THAT VERY STRANGE AND CONTRADICTORY? LET ME LAUGH,,,, I RESPECT THAI CULTURE OK, BUTTHAI CULTURE=MARRY? HAHAHAHA SO VERY FUNNY, LET ME HAVE A LAUGH, ALSO BECAUSE TODAY I WENT OFF THE BED FROM THE RIGHT SIDE
v
anyway i dont want to use this blog for political use, but to be correct, fabio was in the wrong place same as i was, means we were at red shirts demonstration for democracy,also if it was not our concern… but fabio was not killed accidentally, but purposely, this i can witness and i was not the only one to have seen and to know and i still have video clips and photos of the happenings…..thai press that fabio was killed accidentally is pure misleading the readers
I agree in Fabio’s case but I want to defence about Thai Marriage. In Thai law,we have rights to request “Marriage Licence” at any districts from Ministry of Interior.
You should not comment about Thai traditional or others because you have not really knowledge about that. Every countries have thier own traditional , culture and way of life.
yes, thai traditional wedding=husband farangs is there like stupid, does not understabd a word, byt must leave a lot of money (the more women marry Budda , the more money they get….but tell me at least why after marry, but rings, spend a lot of money for milions persons invited from wife side and not even one from farang ide, at the end, all invited after eating like pigs and drink like hell, they just go and dont care say hallo, because all what they wanted , was to eat and drink and why after spending so much money, the monk who marry you, does not issue any certificate, as if nothing happened, no documentation at all and why such culture allow then, to remarry the day later with another partner and so on?
,,,,,ijust got off the bed from the wrong side….
Thanks God, I never look for Italian man before. I dont care what you think about Thai lady? So what? We are what we are!!!OK?
Don’t be fussy with other’s people. Look back your family better. OK?
Francis you don’t have to understand why is this or why is that! This is how it is and finish! If you don’t like it, don’t be part of it and avoid it. Like I’ve mentioned earlier, the stupid are the farangs who get fooled. A Thai traditional wedding has it’s own customs same as in many other parts of the world. For Example in Thailand, man has to pay certain amount of money to bride parents as sign of gratitude and respect for the parents of raising a good daughter. In India is the other way around. Bride parents has to pay for the Groom to Groom parents for getting a good son in law. This is called dowries. This is their customs and tradition. Of course there are many girls who are abusing this tradition in Thailand to take economical advantage. But this does not mean that all do the same. The way families tread their guests at weddings it’s entirely up to that respective family. The way the guests behave, its part of their educational level and social status. I don’t want to enter into the Budha story why the monk does not issue marriage certificate, because I don’t know too much but what I know, is that Monks are invited at the bride house to whish the couple good luck and please the spirits to bring happiness and prosperity to them. The Thai marriage is not an oat in the front of God, like in the Christianity. Thai couples does not promise God/Budha to be together for ever. They only promise this to themselves. So It’s not a commitment in the front of GOD! At least this is what I know, and what It was told to me.
Waste of time to talk to him. He never accepted different strokes different folks. Let him stays in his narrow world.
is a waste of time to explain to thai people…I dont judge to criticize, same as rachel does, because discuss with my cat is easyer than discuss with a thai woman…
I mean,,,,,why marry budda cerimony and after that, there is no certificate issued? money yes hehe, but no trace of the wedding in papers,,,is it normal? means that i marry and then i can just tell it around without any documentation? no documentation is normal!!!!!!!!!!!???????????
and who say that i live in nrrow world? when i order a coffe at 7 eleven i get receipt and when i marry i dont get any documentetion? and about people invited at wedding, is not true that they eat and drink and at the end they disappear drunk without caring about the wedding? was i blind when i saw it many many times? narrow world? froma country where democracy is a milions miles away is same as if my cat discuss about computer,,,,not need to look for italian men, we will survive with other 5 miliards women around,,,,,,fortunately some thai women have more brain than somebody on this blog…not much more brain, but more…….
i have some friends who married thai women (sorry for them) and at ceremony so many many people (all thai) and a monk who was speaking for hours, but at the end he left (sinson? is correct spelling) a lot of money in the pot, but at the end he did not get any certificate that he got married?
i dont want to discuss the culture, but why no issue and documentation of the wedding?……of course i dont mean about civil wedding,,,,and amongs thai people ok, they undertand what the monk tell the fiancee, but farangs dont understand a word and there is no interest to organize a translation so that stupid naive farangs will know what is going on?
Hahaha. I like what you said “stupid falang” Yes for sure he is stupid to have a wedding and not get informed in advance what that means in Thailand. You know what I don’understand? How on earth so many farang man are getting into problems like this. Wrong marriages, ripped off money, etc and than blaming on the Thai lady. Don’t they have a brain to think before? Obviously no..Hahahs
gma….now you understand when we say Thailand, we mean prostitution,,, you did confirm by yourself…stupid farangs has made Thailand number one prostitutes country in the world,,,,farang naive are few thousends, but all your country has lost reputation…say Thailand and automatcally the translation =prostitution,,,,,
but whay i dont understand, indipendently form culture and from judgment about farangs and clever thai women, is why after a wedding, there is no issue of any documentation….just a piece of paper which witness about the wedding…this what like to know, your opinion about farangs is not important,,,,
in italy i have never heard of women who look for stupid farangs to rip of money with wrong marriages….we dont have so many prostitutes here
thai women dont rip off money of farsngs, but take advantages of old fat drunk sick men……no matter where they come from….
conside me a clever man, i had sex with 100 thai women and never paid them…i Always told them that i have forgotten the code of my atm bank card hehehe
Francis I’ve asked google for you to find out why there in no marriage certificate issued by the monk and I was right earlier. Please read here http://www.dteconsulting.net/thailand/thai-culture/family-life/traditional-thai-weddings/.
Actually I think if a farang guy marries only in a thai traditional wedding its better than register officially because legally he has no obligation and can easily break up the relation if necessary.If they register officially they will have legal resp. So that Is what it is! Yes it’s pity for Thailand to have such a reputation abroad as prostitution country, and unfortunately this is not going to change soon.
nooo will never change because thai government had big economical advantage about prostitution, also they dont call it “prostitution” but service ….and here you see the naive ipocresy..is the same as if a woman open legs for giving a service and not for sex” ..what kind of service is just open legs for nothing? hahaha Thailand contadictions,,,
the prostitution in Thailand brings a huge quantity of money and thai government takes advantage of it…to stop the prostitution in Thailand would be the same as to ask saudi arabia to sell petrol or ask usa to sell hamburgers,,,
in Thailand a visa is issued according to money…a frang alone must have an income of about 70.000 bath a month in a country where people live happy with 10.000 easily, but if he is married, he need less money…which means that for 2 persons you need less than for one person,,,unbelievable…..and government employess (mostly lazy people and work very little)have a pension about 35 to 50 thousend bath a month, while other poor hard worker has about 500 a months, but may be not need milions of photos of …….and family and there could be so many milions left for the poors,,,
I dont want to enter the topic of thai culture about wedding, but any kind of documentation should be issued in case of budda ceremony wedding, because i dont see why marry when you cannot prove it even written on toilet paper,,,,very very unusual and nothing to do with culture,,,,but sinsod is there hahahaha and this is the basic reason of the wedding, but tha braut could marry next week again with another naive farang and another huge sinsod hehehe…but according ti italian law, we are not allowed to go to Thailand with more than 10.000 euros and this money must be motivated with legal receipts, like hen buy computers mobil phone and Others and if no receipt and motivation of how send that money, in italy we can be persecuted by the law, which is hunting men who export money, may be not earned legally…of course, this is only for private tourists.,,,delocalisation business has other rules
i mean if i marry thai woman and i leabe sinsod of my be huge amount of money, why cannot get a receipt of what i have givenn to my braut and possible legalized by monk at temple, if then i will be requeed it when i am back in my country? I will just tell the financial police that i got married and i cannot prove it and that i have spent all my money and i cannot prove it?…
I know, is all utopie in thai world,,,but what is really normal in Thailand?
i am not hiding my sincere opinion and declarations, therefore my facebook is to find me under; antonio favia (bolzano) and my only friend in my list is the chief of persecuor office of high court of manila, muss nava…i had also miss yingluck shinawatra 3 years ago, but i have deleted her because i was afraid about the consequnces of the dimostration at silom with red shirt, but if i knew that she would hav become prime ministry of Thailand, i would have never done it…was too late when i did…..if you want to find more news about my country just contact http://www.ilfattoqutidiano where i hyde under a pseudonimo which cannot be exposed here
i dont have money for SINSOD…..will you marry me anyway?
I will marry with a good guy even though he has nothing but the most important he would not look down , not take advantage and he must be a gentle man and honour with a lady .I dont care for sinsod because I think I have money much more some farang.
I will marry with a good guy even though he has nothing but the most important he would not look down , not take advantage and he must be a gentle man and honour with a lady .I dont care for sinsod because I think I have money much more some farang.
@gma thanks very much for trying explanation with Thai traditional. You know well more than Thai. lol
either you read too many fairy tale or you are not a thai woman…..
ha ha ha I can cheating you. you dont believe that I am Thai . ฉันเป็นคนไทยจริง ๆ
and everything I said is the truth.
I have saw your profile on FB already. I think you are older me nearly 20 years.
you have Smak Soontornvej and Jatuporn Pompan
as your friends. you always around with bar girls. you told me could not see you at bar girls. that’s your fairy tale not me.
Stop to blame Thai women anymore.
i play tennis and swim 5 kms and run 20 kms and i dont smoke and dont drink and you could see my photos thai am am a very strong healthy man,,,,thai men 40 years old look in body like my grand father,,,,,,
i dont have any friends at fb,,,may be you need glasses,,,i usually delete or dont accept friends because am busy with http://www.ilfattoquotidiano.it where i get 1000 messages and comments a day…in my fb list i have only estela nava who is my friend fro manila and she is the chief of the persecutor office of supreme courts of manila and may be i haveone or 2 new friend casually….i had yingluck shinawatra in my list, she had sent me request 2 years ago, but believe me or not, i did delete her because i was afraid of political consequences…about 200 years old, 2 years ago in seka nong khai I won a tennis tournments at national sports day, and the players were Teachers doctors and policemen and the oldest player was 35, but i won the tournments and the ministry of sport and education (i dont remember his name and i did not really knew who he was) had to give me the winner cup and congratulate with me….i dont need to hyde age and photos and profile because i dont have anything to hide,,,how about you? are you may be Young but looking like 300 years old?
I dont know I’m looking young or not. But there often young of male and female both Thai and foreigners add me as thier friend. (I have about 150 friends on fb).
Once I have been Cambridge,UK with my group friends as the same age, the reception of the hotel thought that I was a student and my friend like a professor ,what do you think I’m looking young? I think I’m being young forever. Thay say so. lol
Sorry I did not say you are old man ,I accept your activities is all about healthy person. what a strong man you are!!!
Btw, about your friend on FB, I may be wrong you just like page of two Thai politician.
i had ove 1500 messages from thai women in a webside and i started to read some and the i deleted them all, because boring, since from thai woman, apart “love you” “I want true love” “I want good man” “I want to marry farang”….no fantasy, only those boring sentences with clear intention to find naive farangs to suck left and right, so i dleted all. if I tell you that at my age i won tennis tournemnt where the other players wreh half my age and i swim 5 kms and run 20 kms a day, you should not even mention what happened in Cambridge ir elsewhere and that you look younger your age, is because you travel in western country, in Thailand women over 50 look like for scary movie, this is why thai men fuck Young thai girls and when are over 40, no thai man has interest in thai woman that old…..i have also travelled all my life and mostly for work, from Greenland to new Zealand, in all 5 continents, just for your acknowledge and in Thailand when i swim at pool, women insist to tell me thati have a body like 30 and they are not joking or making any compliments because when i di sports i really look that Young, especially if compared to thai men and to lady farangs who drink all day long….about fb, i am there only for one person and since 2 years i try avoid all request and i avoid new friends,,,,i have another id there which i cannot give to public……the one you see is strictly for the chief of the persecutor office of supreme court in manila,,,,,dont mention how many friends you have in facebook, because i know women aho clean dishes and have over 500 friends,,,,about your politicians who were in my list, i repeat, yingluck sent me request over 2 years ago and also other important red shirts boss, but after a couple of months i decided to delete them, because i was afraid of consequences after it was official that i was at silom with red shirts demonstration many days till the day the soldiers came ,,,and you know what happened,,,,,i wish we dont mention facebook and travel to Cambridge of any place because i am more interested to know about thai places in this blog, such as cantanabury (my bad spelling) ayuttaya, Chiang rai area, loy khatong at Chiang mai and songkran (crazy and so funny) and about thai oratai who i like so much,,,,about clever thai women and naive farangs, is an evelasting boring story
hmmmm… As of my age I have not been only Europe countries ,I have been 5 continents more than 30 countries.(may be less than you)
I love traveling so much ,especially Europe zone. I plan visit overseas every year for my joyful experience. You should not tell me stop to mention those ,stop mention these because that’s my rights and I never blame the people any country like you did. I respect the humanly and thier living life.
I hope the people on earth very peaceful.
to me happened some years ago that a tai teacher was so hot and took me to hotel for sex and she was enjoyng so much than she was moaning like tsunami allarm…and then she asked me 2000 bath….since she was having more fun than I, i asked her that she should me pay at least 1000…because i am modest…
i really dont understand why pay a woman who was asking for sex and enjoy,,,,she asked me , where i come from, i told her Canada, just to say somethin,,,,she told me ohhhh cabada in europe? yes i told in europe, just near Brazil….and she ohhhhh I see…..
believe me, is is not a joke….may be very funny but true,
@ant45 Are you a canadian? I’m dissapointed you very much. I have been Canada before. I love your country and people there so much. I thought Canadian is polite people. Why you talk abt Thai lady only sex? Why dont talk abt other good view? Why dont you open eyes look for the good things? I dont believe that you told. Who never knows Canada? Very nonsence.
I was onlytryng to explain that a thai teacher think that canada is in europe and that canada is near Brazil, then tell me, where thai teacher get education? no talk about sex? can you avoid it in thailand where there are more prositutes then persons? about visa for the usa, is not so true that if a thai person has a work and economical security, is not so sure that usa consulate issue a visa for a tai tourist and the many thai women you see in usa europe and elsewhere, especially in scandinavian countryes, aare not elegant tourists, but are clever women who married a farangs and divorce and look for richer farangs again, real thai tourists in europe is a rarity…about your simpathy for scandinavian country, where is cold most of the year and food is bad and boring, where life is so very expensive also if they have high salary, where is no fashion, if not imported, where there is almost no history of art, where weekends all population get drunk like hell and piss on the street and throw glas bottle left and right, where a bottle of wine coast 5 times more than in s europe but they prefer to buy alcholl than food…and where women ar so emancipate and are not so much interested in their men, but look for esotic man, i think you have no idea how the world really is….thai women prefer scandinavian men, because are the naivest men you can ever find…in thailand especially…
rachel
western people dont need visa for the usa and nor for europe or rest of the world, whyle thai people need the visa for each western country and not so easy to get, very difficult to get also for profssional thai people…the only thai people who get easy visa for the above mentioned countrzes are thai women who marry a farangs…lets be true when we write and not just write….