No Chance For Men in Farangland

Whenever I hear someone moaning about not being able to find a good woman in Farangland I always think that either the guy is a loser or that he isn’t trying hard enough. Then I quickly remember that I generally share the same opinion. And since I’m not a loser (or so mummy says) and I do make an effort to share the company of women as much as I can, I can’t be right about both things.

So it got me thinking and after a few drinks I decided that there was a logical explanation that would still sound logical even after the effects of the booze wore off. First I needed a good hypothesis to test and the best one I could come up with in my alcohol impaired state was that there must be some sort of supply / demand correlation.

The big question was how does one test that hypothesis? With over six billion people on earth I would have to wait until I sobered up before I started trying to crunch numbers.

The next morning, with incoherent notes scribbled an scraps of paper littered around my living room (where, by chance I also woke up on the couch) I began my quest to explain why finding a quality girlfriend is so difficult in Farangland.

WARNING: What follows involves addition, subtraction, division, and other boring crap. Follow along at your own peril.

First thing we need to do is define “Farangland.” Let’s say that we define the Western world as Northern America *, Europe, and Oceania. That excludes Africa, Asia, and Latin America.

Populations break down as follows:

Northern America 332,156,000
Europe 724,722,000
Oceania 32,998,000

Total population 1,089,876,000

Looking across most major societies the male/female ration seems to be about 49/51 so there are about 544,938,000 women in Farangland.

Now, we’ll have to get a little funky here as the only source of data I could locate for with appropriate demographic data was the CIA Factbook which only has the following datapoint on age:

15-64 years: 67.2%

This number is for the US but since it is one of the single largest countries in Farangland and a cursory glance at other countries seems to show it to be within a seemingly narrow range right around the same I thought it would be an appropriate number to use.

So, let’s take our 544,938,000 women and isolate those aged between 15 and 64 years of age. That gives us 366,198,336 ladies.

This is where some people might take issue with how I have my way with the numbers here but I don’t really know any better way to do this. Without better data I have to make some assumptions and I’m trying to be as fair as possible.

There are 50 age groups between the ages of 15 and 64. Now, let’s assume that each age group has an equal number of people in it. This is probably not true as many countries experienced a baby boom which has weighted the populations of those countries toward the older end but the worst that assumption is going to do is show me I have better chances of meeting a woman than I actually do.

So that gives us 7,323,966 women per age grouping. Now, let’s assume that the average reader of this blog is 35 years of age (which is approx the median age in the US with a slightly higher median age – 38 – in the UK) and is willing to date women up to 5 years his younger and 5 years his elder for a total of 10 age groupings (you’ll notice I like my numbers round but not my women). That gives us a universe of 73,239,667 women.

I know that some men would like to date women younger than that but let’s be realistic here. The number of 25 year old women dating 35 year old men in Farangland is pretty low. Obviously, I can’t account for everything so I’m willing to live with this level of inaccuracy. I’m also inclined to feel that this number is fair since I did no adjustment for the population being skewed towards the older end of the spectrum. Somewhere in there I think the two adjustments cancel each other out.

But not every woman is both in the right age group and available. Yep, some of these gals are already off the market.

Again, I had to molest the data to get something worthwhile here. This BW Online article suggests that married couple households in the US have dropped from 80% in the 1950’s to 51% in 2003. Now, it’s generally accepted that the US divorce rate is higher than many parts of the Western world which makes me inclined to take this random data point and skew it closer to 80% than to 51%. Let’s ballpark the married couple households in the entire Northern American, European, and Oceanic to be about 65%. That leaves a mere 35% available ladies who I don’t have to fight someone to get at.

We’re down to 25,633,883 women available in the pool.

Now let’s pull a number straight out of my arse to account for unmarried couples who are in long-term relationships. I’m going to say that number is 30%. Sound too high? Sound too low? I think it sounds low but I’m really trying to be fair with the numbers here.

We’re down to 17,943,718

Now, call me shallow (don’t worry, you won’t be the first) but let’s also assume that I value a woman’s looks. Uh oh, how do we figure out hottie from nottie? This is all pretty subjective so let’s say that in any given population of women that at least 50% are below average in the looks department. And of the remaining 50% at least 25% are going to be in the “out of your league” class. So, out of our 17,943,718 possible partners we’re sadly down to 6,728,894 women I wouldn’t kick out of my bed for eating crackers.

Now, let’s assume that the average bloke actually has some standards in regards to the brains department. Assuming a standard Bell Curve distribution of intelligence, I’m going to limit myself to the middle of the Bell Curve or higher (IQ equal or greater than 100). That eliminates half the women on our list. Additionally, much like the looks department, I’m going to eliminate the women in the top 25% of that remaining 50% as what braniac is going to want to date someone who she thinks is a little slow? I think this all evens out because a guy who is a 100 himself isn’t going to land a brain surgeon but might date women who have an IQ of 95. Similarly a guy who has an IQ of 130 probably isn’t going to date a lot of women left of 100.

Okay, so we’re now down to a pool of 2,523,335

But all we’ve done is say that these ladies live in Farangland, are in a ten year age band, single and available, have above average looks, and aren’t complete dolts.

Wait, did I say single and available? What about lesbians? Again, I have to pull a number completely out of my arse as I can’t find any sort of reliable stats. Again, I’m trying to be conservative with my assumptions here so let’s say 10%.

Now we’re down to 2,271,001

Now we’re going to delve into the realm of completely going on instinct and making some pretty huge leaps of faith because now we have to figure out the percentage of woman who not only are attractive to you but attracted to you.

We already made some assumptions about the top 25% of the right half of the Bell Curve being out of our league but what about the rest?

Compatibility is such a bitch of a topic. Let’s just look at a short list of things many people consider to be important in terms of compatibility:

Politics
Religion
Social awareness
Personality (introvert vs. extrovert)
Common interests / hobbies
Career motivation
Honesty
Loyalty
Commitment

The list goes on and on. And for some people it can go into some pretty low level of detail like people who refuse to date anybody who smokes or has a tattoo.

So, let’s just say that in our ideal world, at least half of the women who have made it this far just don’t cut it. And maybe there are women who meet your standards but you don’t meet theirs. So all in all, perhaps we’re down to about 40%.

Now we’re down to 908,400 women.

Pretty sad, eh? Well, pull out another tissue (no, not for that) because what are the chances that you’ll meet all 908,400 women out there in Farangland? Pretty slim. Let’s say that you live in NYC with a population of over 8 million. Assuming we can use 4 million as the number of women living in NYC, we can multiply that by .12% (number of women who met all of the above criteria divided by the number of women in Farangland) to come up with the number 4800. That’s the number of women out of a universe of 4 million who you might have a shot at a relationship with.

Things also get a little tricky in that while a good percentage of the Western world speaks English not all do. Even if you speak two or more languages you have to eliminate all the women who only speak a language you don’t.

So what does this all mean? It means that if you walk into a bar on a Saturday night and approach ONLY women who already fit your criteria your chances of finding Mrs. Right are not great. To add insult to injury, Western women who seem like they would fit all of the above criteria get hit on so often that they instinctively put up the bitch shield to ward off the losers. Not only do you have an .l2% chance of meeting the girl of your dreams but she’s likely to treat you like shit until you break down her defences.

Back in Farangland you always hear people say they’re “not into the whole bar scene.” Really? Because when those same guys go to Bangkok they don’t seem to have a problem hitting all the nightclubs and even the Naughty Nightlife scene. What they’re not into is going into a nightclub and saying “Hello” to someone and having that person verbally grab their testicles and rip them off.

What’s a normal guy to do? Well, what most guys do is . . . . compromise. Instead of taking a girl to the right of centre on the Bell Curve in the looks department they’ll mine a little lower. Maybe they’ll put up with a poor attitude because they would rather fuck someone to the far right of the looks Bell Curve with a bitchy attitude than someone who’s ugly. Or maybe they make do with a gold digger because it was easier to buy love than go through all the rejection it would take to find the perfect blend of qualities. Whatever it is, most guys end up making compromises because their pool of candidates is so limited.

Then one day this same guy steps off a plane in Bangkok, checks into a hotel, and walks down Sukhumvit to a chorus of “You hansum man.” Even the girls who aren’t looking for pay to play action will flash him a heart warming smile for doing nothing more than making simple eye contact.

So for all those Western women who don’t seem to understand the attraction of Asian woman, and specifically Thai women, this is your answer. Even if your typical Westerner stays well clear of the Naughty Nightlife districts your typical Thai woman is, by far, more pleasant to deal with than your average Western woman. Your typical average looking guy can walk up to a stunningly beautiful woman in a nightclub or other social venue and not fear being viciously emasculated for having the unmitigated gall of saying hello and trying to strike up a conversation.

Thai women will, normally, be courteous even if they have no interest. They will smile and engage even the sorriest of losers in some polite dialogue. They don’t feel the need to destroy the guy’s ego when a polite “no thank you” will suffice. Thai society teaches people to avoid conflict so being a total cunt would be a loss of face for her, not the guy.

And because even a letdown can be a positive experience it gives the man confidence he didn’t have before. He’s less afraid to approach the next beautiful woman he runs into. And since we’ve seen that finding the right partner is a numbers game his increased interaction with beautiful women makes it that much more likely that he’s going to run into Mrs. Right.

This is completely the opposite of Farangland where each time a man approaches a beautiful woman he puts his ego out there on the line. Each time he gets rudely rejected it decreases his desire to talk to the next woman and thus he begins to build up emotional defences which range from completely objectifying women (think of this as the same thing the military does to soldiers by dehumanizing the enemy) to simple cowardice in romantic situations. All of which actually lower his chance of meeting Mrs. Right thus it becomes a continuous circle.

It’s almost a side note that many Thai woman also happen to be attracted to Western men. And not just the bargirl parasitic types. Many normal girls look at these farang men with their relatively high social ranking and perceived wealth and think to themselves that he might just be a step up from the Thai guys she’s been dating. As long as a guy doesn’t spend his evenings soaked in alcohol or in the company of prostitutes (or both), dresses well, and has a pleasant demeanour he has a pretty good chance of being able to date women who would be several degrees out of his league in the looks department back in good old Farangland.

Of course, this is a double-edged sword though. Because your Western man is not used to being treated so well and having access to so many beautiful women he doesn’t know how to react. He’s not used to being able to be selective. His natural instinct, ingrained in him from his Western lifestyle, leads him to falling deeply in love with any pretty woman who doesn’t seem like she’s treating him like shit. If that woman happens to be one with questionable intentions it can lead to a real hard crash when he comes out of the ether.

There’s a small bit of irony in that when you take beauty out of the equation Asian women provide what Western men are starved for; sensitivity, submissiveness, and caring while Western women provide those things that Western men soon miss in a relationship with an Asian woman; intelligent communications, equality in the relationship, and independence.

Perhaps in another post we’ll explore the dynamics of this Thai / Western interaction but for now it should be quite obvious that in the Western world the odds are severely stacked against your average male. However in Asia, and specifically Thailand, the Western male has the world he knows flipped on its head. Whereas a night out trying to meet women in the West usually means risking a bruised ego and disappointment, in Thailand even getting turned down can be a stroke to the ego depending on how skilful the lady is in letting him down.

Western women who are bitter at men who run off to Thailand and start dating uneducated farm girls might want to look at the negative-feedback environment Western society has created for men.

Footnote:

* Keep in mind, that because I am pulling my data from Wikipedia I have to use their definitions. One definition is Northern America which is not the same as North America. Northern America would include Canada, the United States, Greenland, Bermuda, St. Pierre, and Miquelon. Likewise Oceania includes not only Australia and New Zealand but all the island nations in the area such as Micronesia and Guam. For the sake of this example let’s just assume that the Wikipedia definitions actually increase the total possible female pool and the real numbers are even more grim.

20 thoughts on “No Chance For Men in Farangland

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  • July 11, 2008 at 12:44 am
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    Very interesting article (I’m a farang American woman). I think feminism has ruined western women to a very large degree. We act far too much like men now and that has sent them running off to other shores. Men have become so accustomed to women “not needing them” that they, in turn, put no effort into being thoughtful and chivalrous toward us women. It’s a vicious cycle. Before my life in Bangkok, I tried dating from internet dating sites and it left me quite cold – something about foreign MEN had great appeal to me. They new how to treat a lady. My Thai husband would take me all the way home, clear across Bangkok, no matter how late it was when we were dating. Most men I dated back home would never inconvenience themselves. So you see, it works both ways. Both sexes in farangland have lost their instincts on courtship; women don’t know how to be coy and appreciative and men don’t know how to be thoughtful and chivalrous.

    Amy

  • July 11, 2008 at 2:01 am
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    Amy,

    A very thoughtful and honest comment. Much appreciated.

    What I think most guys find confusing is that we’re all brought up to treat women like gentlemen but what life experience teaches us is that those “nice guys” really do end up finishing last. Instead of getting the girl what they get is to be the girl’s friend and listen to her tell her sob stories about all the assholes she dates.

    In the movies the girl realizes that her true love has been at her side the whole time but in real life that seldom happens and so you have a large pool of really nice guys who give up and end up looking for love elsewhere.

    I’m glad to hear you find a nice Thai husband. You probably understand better than most farang women in Thailand what it’s like to find someone who actually appreciates you. And in the end, I think we all end up with what we look for.

    Billy

  • July 15, 2008 at 12:51 am
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    I agree with you Amy about foreign men having a better reaction to women. I don’t think it is feminism – it just seems that way – men have been shits to women since time began I reckon. The best thing about feminism is that women can walk away or not get involved in the first place. 30 years ago it was too late – you were married to the bugger.

    I know there are a lot of lovely men out there and I love men’s company. I don’t think in the 70s men were walking around being all chivalrous in England or America. BTW having dated in America I have to say they are a hell of a lot more gentlemanly than in England.

    Men have always wanted a woman to be in a weaker position – financially, socially etc – personally I’d rather have my independence. All this talk of men finding farang women too like men isn’t the true picture. I know a lot of women who are Western and act completely feminine with a man. I personally love to cook for a man, bathe him, massage him and look after him but I think the only difference is that I am not under his thumb because I have a good job and my own place etc. They want you under the thumb no matter how gentle you are.

    Women don’t like ‘nice guys’ you’re right – but by ‘nice guys’ we mean ‘boring’. It’s not that women like ‘assholes’ as you put it Billy but that they like a man with initative – who is masterful and is his own person. It’s really not as much about looks for women. Men are the complete opposite – they are so visual that they don’t seem to give a shit about a woman’s personality as long as she is stick thin. Lots of ‘nice guys’ as you put it also do have really bad dress sense too and act like they’ve lost before they’ve started – extemely off-putting to any woman.

  • July 15, 2008 at 1:51 am
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    Trudie,

    I wish I could agree but I don’t find you to be entirely honest in your writings. You came on here saying in your first several posts that you don’t pre-judge and then within a few more comments you were talking about most of the men in Thailand not being able to get a woman back in Farangland. If that’s not pre-judgement then I don’t know what is.

    Bottom line is that you don’t seem to get it and you don’t want to get it. Instead of addressing what people say you just look for hooks to keep repeating the same mantra over and over again.

    There’s a very interesting post over at The Farang Speaks 2 Much website that sums up a lot of the points nicely.

    http://www.2thebigmango.com/main/2008/07/14/entourage/

    I’ll recap though:

    The post flows off another post by someone I’m sure you would find offensive but this is what Fred says about marrying women from a third world country.

    From the woman’s point of view, American (and in general First World) men also look pretty good. The cold fact is that American men treat women well. In a lot of countries, the men are—I’m trying to think of a polite euphemism for “real dickheads”; one will come to me in a moment. They beat their wives, cheat on them, treat them like chattels. American men don’t. (There are exceptions to all of this, of course, but they are exceptions.) A gringo wants his wife to be part of his life. He will go to dinner with her, take her desires into account, and treat her as an equal. Koreans won’t.

    This is a novel concept in many places but, I promise, it flies really well.

    Often the woman will have a kid or two attached, maybe from an earlier marriage or maybe just accidents. Now, in the US certain people get huffy about–oh, the thought!—illegitimate children. How déclassé and other French words. I note that American women are as sexually active as any other. They just believe in abortion more. At any rate, the gringo often figures, hey, they’re kids. Let’s raise them. It’s what you do with kids.

    This too goes over really well.

    http://www.fredoneverything.net/OldGuys.shtml

    Farangs actually do care about treating the women well. In fact, one of the more frustrating aspects for many men is a woman who only says “up to you” when the guy asks her what she wants.

    Remember, this is a country where men have second wives (mia noi) and even third wives if their wealth allows. Some will even move the mia noi into the home with first wife and the first wife is expected to accept this.

    The farang concept of love and caring is often a welcome alternative to what they face dating within their own society.

    And the trend isn’t just in Thailand. Go hang out in Los Angeles, San Fran, or London where you have a large Asian immigrant population and more and more Asian women are picking seemingly boring white guys over their Asian brothers. It’s certainly caught the attention of the Asian males who rant on message boards about what whores these girls are for betraying their race. But when you meet these couples and talk with the women they just don’t want to be held down to their traditional role in Asian society. They like the fact that the white guy treats them with respect and holds them as an equal.

    And as Smitty says:

    Great point there. I get all the time from my western friends the – how could I settle down or have a meaningful relationship with a younger Thai girl. What about discussing politics, business and so on. Well, having been married(speaking again from experience) I find that I don’t really care to discuss politics with a girl, I don’t plan on doing business with one and I find that the Thai girls cook, entertain and generally take care of the day to day things better than her Western counterpart. She looks good doing it and most of all she likes being a woman. I am not specifically talking about my girl either but the general attitude of the women here.

    Let’s just say Thai girls still likes being feminine, they like taking care of their men and they think it is cool to be a sexy woman. This is the big issue for me. This area is where I find life in Thailand to be so much more amazing than life in the RW.

    While men do place a lot of emphasis on looks (it’s actually a genetic response so get over it) we also apprecaite femininity. That is what we find lacking in farang women. Just look at yourself. I don’t mean this to sound offensive but you come off as argumentative and combative. You’ve gone around calling people like WW derogatory names and told people that they were losers who can’t get girls back in thier home country. Nobody has called you a bitch or made any derogatory remarks ABOUT you (about specific things you’ve said, yes. About you, no.).

    Trudie, your words make you sound like the stereotypical women most farangs want nothing to do with in Thailand. You try to boil everything down to a struggle between men and women when you don’t seem to understand that we’re not intimidated by you but we don’t like the way you make us feel so now that we see alternatives we move towards what we do like.

    We’re not looking for women who follow our every order. We’re looking for women who aren’t struggling to control the relationship at every turn. We’re not looking for women who don’t have their own opinions. We’re looking for women who don’t feel that they have to approach every difference of opinion as a brute force attack with a winner and loser.

    Those are things that I’m afraid you just don’t seem to be getting.

    Billy

  • July 15, 2008 at 2:30 am
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    I entered into posts which were already talking about this subject. I also posted replies to blogs I thought were disparaging to women. I am responding to these ideas – that is all.

    What you don’t seem to be getting Billy – should I use your name in a patronising way too?? – is that whilst you are talking about your experiences I am talking about mine. I feel it is men who make things a power stuggle, not women. You have lost some power over Western women and you don’t like it.

    And I am sorry but men who are the ones who like to control – hence the fact that they love being with a woman who thinks her ships come in when she get the old western guy to take her shopping in Emporium.

    Of course I am argumentative and combative if I feel that women are being attacked. I don’t like it. I don’t like men feeling that they can do it. I find it slightly ‘wet’ actually that you are defending your friend WW – I think he has a disgusting attitude to women and how he thinks about them. And it isn’t just because he sleeps with ‘young fresh girls’ .

    Yes, I do ‘get’ what you are saying – hence my comments about understanding that lack of challenge is incredibly attractive – it was the most blissful thing about my last relationship. I don’t doubt it. I find many men seem to want to challenge me about everything – like they want control. I am actually a fan of Krishnamurti and believe that ultimately it is all about surrender and submission and that ownership and duty are a sin. I believe in self-interest making the world a better place.

    And it seems that by saying you haven’t called me a bitch then in a roundabout way you have. It seems you and old WW think farang women are all bitches.

    Stop blaming women for your own inadequacies. A lot of you Western men were screwed up long before women started becoming like men as you say. You will never know where I am coming from because you are not a feminist. And I am not saying Asian men are any better.

    4 out of 10 men abuse their partners – when that stops maybe you’ll find a more sympathetic ear to your whine that it is somehow the fault of women that many of you are screwing someone who you would never have a change of sleeping with if you didn’t have a wallet and white skin. Talk to me about brute force when you’ve told me why that is.

    And actually I know many farangs and non-Thai men here. I’ve been lucky enough to have had some amazing relationships with farang men as well.

    Women have never had control like you are talking about. Men have had control over women. Now men are losing some of that control and they don’t like it – simple. Personally I have never ever been competitive – I dance to my own tune type of personality – but to surrender to a man you have to be able to trust him and I’m sorry but your average spiritually bankrupt western guy doesn’t offer that.

    I understand where you are coming from Billy but talk to some real women about the real world they live in and what real issues women have had to deal with over the years. Most women aren’t looking for a fight Billy or to control a relationship at every turn. They are looking for love and someone to care about them and to protect them. One woman a day dies from domestic violence every week in the UK. Don’t tell me about control. And you wonder why I am ‘combative’ as you side with your friend who talks about women like they’re dirty bits of meat in his revolting little butcher’s shop.

  • July 15, 2008 at 4:52 am
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    Trudie,

    Your views are so obviously tainted with femnista dogma I choose not to engage you any more in the hopes you move on.

    Ciao,

    Billy

  • July 15, 2008 at 5:03 am
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    How ironic Billy. You and your friends on here are tainted by male chauvanist dogma. Why do you hope that someone ‘moves on’ because they are saying things you don’t agree with? What makes you think my comments have no vailidity.

    You talk about western women emasculating you and I am inclined to agree because the comments from a lot of men on here is pretty lacking in what it takes to be a real man.Although I think you probably lost your bollocks a long time before western women starting nipping at them!

  • July 15, 2008 at 6:57 pm
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    trudie, you sure found the right place to get release for your hostility. Please, don’t be discouraged. We need so one to give us critic. (Please, don’t go Freudian on me on that one! I do mean written/verbal critic) You see, we do need it! or we might just lose our sense of reality in T-land!

  • July 16, 2008 at 8:53 am
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    khun trudie na, khun na ja ull kwoi isaan dum gup yai gup yarl mak siep doot. khun trudie ja sabai na non. 🙂

  • July 18, 2008 at 6:55 pm
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    What an interesting point of view !! …The Foreigners’ !!
    I am a Thai woman.. Yes..I agree all. We love to take care of our man. But Trudie..can I ask you a thing ?
    — And I am sorry but men who are the ones who like to control – hence the fact that they love being with a woman who thinks her ships come in when she get the old western guy to take her shopping in Emporium–
    Please don’t say these words to all Thai woman.Some of us are like what you said.My boyfriend is a farang,too. Have you ever seen a Thai woman who loves a farang man by heart and mind ?
    We are women..and I understand what we need from them..We are the same,but we-Thai women- try to accept what they can give to us…with happiness and sometimes not.
    That’s my opinion only.

  • July 18, 2008 at 9:14 pm
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    Moon,

    Thank you so much for sharing. I wish more Thai men and women would read blogs like this so we could hear different points of view.

    Billy

  • September 11, 2008 at 8:33 pm
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    Moon

    I have seen lots of genuine Thai/farang unions – I have friends who are married to Thai women and believe me they are genuine. I have also had a boyfriend from a different race than my own. In my experience here so far though there are a lot of unions which are based on the man getting sex with an attractive Thai woman and her getting financial freedom – I don’t think that is necessarily wrong. What I do think is wrong – and if you read some of the articles about women on this site – is that these men are nasty about farang women and have a degrading attitude to all women – including the bar girls. I know a lot of Thai women and they are interested in one thing with a man – ‘love’. Unfortunately Bangkok is all about men – what they want, what they can get – and the problem is that many Thai women also feel that they are treated like prostitutes by men – both Thai and farang. It is great to see men and women respecting themselves and each other. The problem with a lot of the bar girls or the women you see in Emporium is that because they sell themselves it has a negative impact on all us women. It makes men see us as pieces of meat. We all need to take responsibility. I do believe in love and I know many Thai women who love their farang men and the other way round. I also see a lot of farang men looking at women like they are nothing because they have lots of Thai women selling themselves because they want the farang money. Moon go to Emporium, go to Nana and Soi Cowboy and maybe you can see where I am coming from.

  • December 8, 2008 at 12:54 am
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    Get over it, trudie. You are a typical farang woman. Nice guys dont know how to dress. Why do ladies care soo much about dress? And even more so about shoes? The FIRST thing they notice is shoes. Huh? I too had a relationship (still repenting) with an all american dame. I am Indian, that dame was Indian origin, but all NYC attitude. I still remember the first date, her first bitchy comment. she commented to herself. ” I never even used to look at a guy who wears sneakers.” I should have shot back,”Excuse me, but do you look at a guy or his sneakers?” I should have dropped her like a hot potato, right there and then, I am still repenting. Compare this to the attitude of any thai girl willya?

  • June 28, 2009 at 2:32 am
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    @Billy/Trudie-

    I’m gonna say it.

    Trudie, you’re a washed up, short-haired, Burkenstock wearing, Alanis Morrissette loving, late 40 year old lesbian feminine activist douche and you most certainly are a bitch.

    Billy’s got a brain.

    That’s all.

  • January 18, 2016 at 3:12 am
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    Completely stumbled upon this article and severely offended by just.. Everything. I’m offended by the total lack of emotional concern about the repercussion of the young Thai girls that are stuck in poverty forever because they spend their youth being in the sex industry. You talk about women as if they are stocks or something, completely unaware of their right to exist and choose as you do.
    Also how attractive are you to feel like you deserve a hott and smart woman? In terms of intellect, there are also multiple forms of human intellect, some of which are not measured by IQ. I know you think you’re pretty smart, but I see a “limited visionary.”

    When Human Beings created society, we’ve decided to value different genes. Things like capital punishment exist to extract violent genes from our pool. The reason why some Western men cannot find dates, is because their genes are being pushed out as they are “unfit” for the society we are trying to create (whether this is a good thing is another discussion). Going to an underdeveloped country for romance is not just for the second party. Sexualization can be equalization at times, when we are old or deformed or ugly to be desired is to be humanized. However, when Sexualization between two different people from financially different countries with different racial backgrounds occurs, it leads to things like fetishes, and is objectifying and disgusting.

    – 20something Asian American Artist(please excuse mah grammar mistakes)

  • January 18, 2016 at 3:26 am
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    Also it REALLY offends me that these idiots are calling that woman, Trudie names. Man she is so right. Talk about guys who are hateful towards woman period. She didn’t even say anything offensive! Why are these guys calling her names? Ugh disgusting filth, no wonder you have to abuse powerless third world women for female attention. I’m so out of this website.. or else I’m just gonna tell every guy here how pathetic I think they are..

  • January 18, 2016 at 4:35 am
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    So Trudie comes into a forum, heavily dominated by men, and right from the second sentence in her comment says that men have always treated women like shit and she’s not saying anything offensive?

    I think you say way, way, way more about yourself defending her than anybody else could.

  • January 18, 2016 at 4:38 am
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    Perhaps before becoming offended you might want to understand the situation first. Are you Thai-American? Do you spend a lot of time in Thailand?

    Thai women don’t spend their lives in poverty BECAUSE of prostitution. They were ALREADY in poverty.

    In fact, the amount of money swishing around the Thai economy that is a direct or indirect result of prostitution is a good chunk of the country’s GDP. If anything, prostitution keeps more people out of poverty than it keeps in.

    It would take a blog post unto itself to describe the socioeconomic reasons why prostitution is rampant in Thailand but I think that the fact that sex with foreigners is a rather minuscule portion of prostitution in Thailand should indicate that this isn’t your propagandized version of victimization.

    I don’t even want to know where you got your theory on gene pools and natural selection but your assumption that all men who cannot find relationships in their home countries are defective in some way and are naturally being weeded out of the gene pool is fairly offensive in itself.

    First off with these types of arguments there is always the assumption that the man can’t find a partner. Perhaps he can but he doesn’t like the selection.

    When I lived back home, I made good money, great money to be honest. Six figures a year (and this was over 20 years ago). I’m not going to claim I could have any woman I wanted but I also didn’t have much difficulty finding dates.

    I just got tired of the attitude. I got tired of the gold diggers. I got tired of the high maintenance girlfriends. I got tired of the emotionally-draining, and often mentally unstable, women.

    I didn’t go to Thailand seeking women. I happened to be going there for other reasons. But everything about Thailand simply blew me away.

    Admittedly, the prostitution was part of the allure but that was only a small part of it. Again, it would probably take a whole blog post unto itself just to describe why I like the Thai culture over western culture.

    But women were part of that draw. First the prostitutes because they are everywhere and because they don’t feel like prostitutes. But after a few more trips where I was able to explore and get away from the prostitutes, I started meeting other Thai women and while not willing to jump in your lap after two minutes of conversation, were still infinitely more pleasant to be around than many of the western women I was meeting back home.

    Ultimately, I moved to Thailand, met a beautiful Thai woman, and got married. We’ve been married for many years now and I’m happier in this relationship than I’ve ever been in with any western woman.

    Did I end up in Thailand because I was too defective to spread my DNA in the US or Europe? No. I ended up in Thailand because an option was presented to me that most people back in the US and Europe are unaware of.

    Sure, a lot of old guys come to Thailand to retire and they date women half their age but, especially today as the average age of tourists and expats is decreasing, it’s only a part of what’s going on.

    The reality is that western women are like union workers. Men are like management. And Thai women are like non-union workers willing to work without the long list of union demands.

    And just like a union, people like you want to call the non-union workers scabs and demonize them while at the same time trying to claim that they’re being exploited because they’re willing to work under different terms than you are.

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