After doing the normal tourist thing in Thailand I did as many men do and I began to pine for meeting a nice, normal Thai girl. But how was a tourist, who only visits Thailand a few times a year, supposed to find such an elusive girl?
I tried meeting Thai girls online and then going out with them when I was in Thailand but it’s such a mixed bag in the online dating scene. For every girl I would consider relationship material there are hundreds – perhaps even thousands – of girls who want to meet a farang, any farang, just to get out of their current financial situation. That’s not what I’m looking for in a serious relationship.
And even the nice, normal Thai girls can be a little nutters. In fact it was after having found out that one nice, normal Thai girl that I had invested several months chatting with hadn’t been entirely honest about the situation with her ex-boyfriend that I decided to adjust my game plan.
There I was sitting in Central World after having gotten a text from the previously mentioned gal informing me that she hadn’t quite broken up with her boyfriend when I saw a girl who really caught my eye. She was chatting away on her mobile as she walked toward my general direction. She ended her call and I seized the opportunity.
I walked up to her and asked “Excuse me, what model phone is that? I’ve been thinking about getting a new phone and I’ve seen a few people with that model and I was thinking about buying one.”
She smiled and showed me the phone. Although she apologized several times saying that her English wasn’t very good it was actually quite impressive. She showed me several of the coolest features the phone had and even snapped a picture of me when demonstrating the camera.
Only a fool wouldn’t know that she was somewhat interested so I thanked her for showing me her phone and asked if I could get her phone number so I could call her some time. I handed her my phone and she punched her digits in there along with her name – which was a good thing because I hadn’t remembered to ask her for her name.
Later on that evening I send her a text. “It was very nice meeting you today. Thank you for helping me decide on a new phone.”
I had barely hit the send button when a response came back “Did you buy one?”
To cut a long story short I called her up a few days later and we ended up going out on a date.
Now one might assume that this could have been a fluke. Maybe I met the right girl at exactly the right moment. But I’ve done this dozens of times with very similar results. So I thought I would break it all down for you in the hopes that you can replicate my success.
First off, you need to figure out what you’re looking for. Meeting women, farang or Thai, is like marketing. You have to know the demographics of your market, where those people are, and then deliver your offer in a manner likely to get them to buy.
So let’s start off with who you’re after. I tend to like meeting university educated women who have office jobs. That’s my target market so I have to determine where I am most likely to meet girls like that.
The kind of Thai girl I’m after isn’t going to be clubbing every night so I scratch that off my list of venues right away. Girls hanging out in Paragon or Central World seem to be more the demographic I’m going after. I also have tried business parks where girls might be taking their lunch but that’s a little more hit and miss. Big shopping malls work nicely because it’s indoors and air conditioned. Malls also have a degree of safety to them so girls tend not to get too tense when some strange farang starts talking to them.
Before I go on, let me be clear that these work for me because that’s what I’m in market for. If you’re looking for a girl fresh off the farm or you like the younger gals then it’s pointless to go to the same places that work for me. Your average Isaan low-so girl wouldn’t be caught dead in Paragon. In fact, Paragon is like kryptonite for low-so girls.
Big Baby Kenny wrote an excellent piece over on the Big Mango blog about meeting university students which is an excellent example of how you need to adjust the advice I’m giving based on your target market.
So back to meeting girls.
I’ve identified what kind of girl I’m looking for and where she’s likely to be found. Now all I have to do is deliver my offer in a manner likely to get them to buy.
I think it should go unsaid that you need to dress appropriately and practice good hygiene. Regardless of the girl you’re trying to meet they will place a lot of importance on those two factors. If you reek like a trash bin or your idea of appropriately dressed means anything without a collar then your success rate is going to be very low.
I made that mistake once with a girl I had met online. I had misjudged her status level and had shown up to meet her in a pair of nice jeans, a casual collared shirt, and trainers. She showed up for our date in a cocktail dress. Talk about awkward.
Along with being well groomed and presentable, smile! Not the creepy pervert smile but a nice, warm, friendly smile. Get good at it. Thais love a nice smile so when you approach someone and talk to them with a smile you’ll get a lot farther.
Being presentable is the first hurdle to delivering the offer in a manner likely to get them to buy. The second is actually going up and talking to them. My “trick” is to find something to compliment them on. If you have trouble coming up with compliments go sit around someplace crowded and just watch people. Try to find things to compliment people on. Once your mind gets accustomed to noticing things about other people you’ll find it easier to find something on the spur of the moment.
The one thing I would stay away from though is physical features. A pretty girl knows she’s pretty. Walking up to her and telling her she has great eyes seems creepy. On the other hand walking up to her and complimenting her hand bag and saying that you’re thinking of buying one for your sister seems natural. You’ve delivered a compliment and now you have a reason to keep talking.
The idea here is to have a reason to continue the conversation. For instance, when I asked the girl about the phone there was a whole universe of possibilities in terms of keeping the conversation going. I could ask if it gets good reception. I could ask where’s a good place to buy a mobile in Bangkok? I could ask if it plays MP3s.
Same thing applies when you’re complimenting her purse. You could make up a story about your sister making you promise you would buy her something nice in Bangkok. So even if she says she doesn’t know where she got the hand bag you could ask her for suggestions on what would be a nice gift for your sister who happens to be about the same age.
If I can’t find anything to compliment my fall back is to ask some sort of random question. For instance I might ask if they can give me directions somewhere. “Excuse me, how do I get to the movie theatre from here? I’m supposed to be meeting some friends but I can’t find it.”
Once you start talking you need to be a quick read of body language. If she’s got a defensive posture and seems like she’s simply being polite then thank her for her help or time and break it off. If she’s smiling and seems to be enjoying talking to you then feel free to go off in whatever direction the conversation takes.
Try to keep the conversation to under 15 minutes. I usually try to have her phone number in five to ten minutes. If I’m still talking with her after fifteen minutes I’ve usually screwed up and can’t close the deal.
Speaking of telephone numbers, just ask for it. Don’t get all tongue tied. Just say “Hey, why don’t you give me your phone number so I can call you some time.” And just hand her your mobile so she can type it in. Most girls will give out their phone numbers pretty freely so the only time you’re going to get declined is if she has a boyfriend/husband or you’ve totally misread her body language up to that point. Either way it’s no big deal.
When you’ve gotten the phone number don’t hang around the same place trying to chat up other girls. If she sees you an hour later talking to some other girl she’ll blow you off when you text her later.
If going up and starting a conversation with a beautiful woman who isn’t riding a chrome pole makes you nervous start going to department stores and asking the staff for help. They’re paid to be nice and helpful so it’s easy to learn how to get a conversation going. It gives you practice talking to beautiful women and you can experiment with things like transitioning the conversation between topics. Whatever helps you overcome your anxiety will pay huge dividends when you start talking to women you would actually like to date.
Now that I have the phone number I usually wait until I’m getting ready to go out for the night (about 9 or 10pm) and then I’ll shoot her a text message saying that I enjoyed meeting her. This is probably the most critical moment in the entire dance. If she texts you back then she’s interested. If she doesn’t text you back DO NOT send her any more text messages or call her. It’s over. Move on.
Just a side note here; if you want to meet high quality women in Thailand you better shake everything you think you know about meeting women out the window. If she blows off your text message then it’s her loss. Once you get comfortable with approaching women you should be collecting enough phone numbers where it shouldn’t even bother you if a girl isn’t interested.
If you’ve gotten this far then the next step is to try and arrange a date. Wait a day or two and then give the girl a call and ask her out. I would suggest that you have something in mind before you call. For instance, you might call and say “Hey, I was thinking about going to Vertigo for dinner and was wondering if you would like to come with me.”
What I’m about to say next is where 99.999999% of guys mess up in relationships. If she says she can’t do tonight don’t be a pussy and ask her when she’s available. Man up. Tell her that’s too bad and tell her maybe she can meet you some other date. But don’t ever ask her when she’s available. She’ll volunteer an alternate date if she’s really interested. If she says she can do tomorrow, for example, tell her that there’s another restaurant you’ve been wanting to try and suggest that. Don’t offer her the same place as if you’re going to postpone going because she can’t make it. You’re still going to Vertigo with or without her. Let her be the one worrying about whether you’re taking some other girl.
The whole idea with women, Thai or farang, is to be in control of the situation. Women like men who are confident and in control of their lives. That doesn’t mean being a jerk but it does mean that you shouldn’t seem needy.
I read on the Stickman site a reader submission from a guy who does a lot of nude photography. He uses a similar approach. When he’s talking to a girl he will tell her he can show her his portfolio tomorrow at 4pm. If she says she can’t make it then he tells her he’ll call her and let her know when he’s got another opening.
Wait a day or two and then SMS or call them back and say you have some free time between shoots, name a time, and ask if it’s possible they could meet you there and you’ll bring your portfolio. If they can’t make that time don’t modify the time to suit their schedule. They’ll wonder why you have all this free time on your hands. Instead express regret the meeting couldn’t happen and suggest perhaps another time. For certain the next time they call they’ll be able to meet your schedule. It’s very important they know your time is valuable and you approach such things in a professional manner. Every step of the way you’re laying the foundation of trust and professionalism which is what women need to feel comfortable in such situations.
Since the goal of this article was go help you meet and get a date with a nice, normal Thai girl I think I’ll wrap it up here. Mission accomplished.
Billy B. Thanks for the advice. It was exactly what I was looking for. I will go to the Paragon and buy and suit and a tie, right away! By the way, nice tip on how to approach the pretty girls! “Dont’ comment on their looks, but on their outfit!!!$$$
Giacomo,
I appreciate your words but let’s be straight . . . I didn’t say you need to go out and buy a suit and tie. I said dress appropriately.
Billy
Right, thank you BB. A couple of designer shirts should do it, I guess. If not I will upgrade! I will check out Vertigo, and have a look-see at what they are wearing up there!
Well, do keep in mind that I said that this is the type of women I like to meet. The kind of girls I might like may not be the kind of girls you like. No need to meet girls at Paragon or buy designer shirts if you’re trying to date uni students. Similarly you would adjust what’s appropriate if your thing is girls not to long off the farm.
At the end of the day this part is no different from dating in the West. You pick your clothes and dating locations based on the kind of girl you’re dating.
Hmm, since I’m looking for both Uni and Paragon girls, I will need two wardrobes! Now, since this is an anonymous site I will risk sounding like I’m boasting. But I had a meeting (not a date I’m afraid) with woman dressed very business-like, and I was not. The next time we had a meeting she’d had dressed down!?
Good for you, amigo. Perhaps she felt she was over-dressed on your previous meet. Maybe she was just lazy that day. 🙂
The whole thing was quite akward, because I had dressed up!
That was your first mistake. Just be Giacomo. That’s more than enough.
At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do! But at least it turned out to be funny story!
Many thanks for the post. This I suppose applies to everybody everywhere not just in thailand. What you wrote about the mistake 99.9999% guys make is very true. Thats what ALL the “dating coaching” websites also teach. Hell, I should have read your post when I was 19, when unfortunately internet was not invented. I am still repenting not having visited thailand earlier, like when I was 19. Even after I started working, I thought thailand was very expensive, thanks to all the “package tours” arranged from my country. You know, aircon bus, stay in 5 stars, etc. It was a chance reading of lonely planet that changed it, and I made that trip of a lifetime. Like someone wrote on a blog. Visiting thailand is like having an advanced relationship course. I like to call it bootcamp. And thanks for your post anyway.
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billy, nice post. is it not amazing how you need to teach others to “unlearn” the feeling that dating must be financially compensated (politely worded)
kryptonite , paragon, and lo so girls; VERY GOOD
Billy,
It was a great advice for men in your article. There is one thing I wanted to point out to you about “Your average Isaan low-so girl wouldn’t be caught dead in Paragon”. This statement is quite stereotype after I had read. I am an Isaan girl who was born and raised in Thailand and spent most of my college years in Bangkok at Assumption University(ABAC).
I had read some articles on here about how poor and uneducated of women from Isaan. Yes, Thailand is poor and the poors are everywhere, not only from Isaan.
Westerners are very welcome in Thailand and so western men shouldn’t have any problems meeting Thai girls over there. You may find yourselves that you get a lot of responses from women over here than your home countries. Thais are very friendly in general. Again good and bad people are everywhere around the planet so proceed with caution.
A Chicago base Thai flight attendant.
Hi Venita,
I think you answered part of your own question when you quoted the article. “Average Isaan low-so girl” indicates the most common scenario. You, being university educated and having an exciting career in the airline industry are not common for most Isaan girls who toil away in hard jobs earning very little money.
I find it somewhat funny that you choose to make it sound like the hi-so/low-so or Isaan is a farang stereotype when it is a Thai form of racism. Most farangs don’t think they is anything different between an Isaan girl or one from Thai-Chinese background who was born in Bangkok but Thais do. In fact, unless you live in Thailand or have spent a lot of time in Thailand most farangs aren’t even aware of the racism between hi-so and low-so Thai.
I’m sorry. I know Thai people are proud of their culture but this form of racism is one of the bad parts of Thai culture. Your average farang doesn’t care about where someone comes from or how dark the color of their skin but many Thais do and I have heard some hi-so Thais make some very ugly comments about Isaan girls.
Ruai
This was a really good article. I can see some mistakes I have made with Thai women in the past. One of them has been overthinking. I’m used to women in my own country throwing up a lot more hoops, which you have to avoid jumping trough. This coming from a decent looking guy. In Thailand I’ve found most girls just want you to be a gentleman, but still leading of course. Thai women are probably the easiest women to approach as they will just about never reject you outright as long as you’re presentable and smiling.
@Giacomo
Funny thing about the two wardrobes! I actually think the same way you do! I study in Bangkok and when I go to classes I just wear casual wear, jeans and t-shirt because everyone does and it’s fine, but if I go to Paragon or Central World dressed like that, I look to sloppy. So I’ve got a student wardrobe and a professional wardrobe and the two are not to be mixed!
Anyway, Billy, keep writing. Good stuff!
@Ruai, You’ve nailed her, right on.
And,
Billy, Thanks for the article.
You’ve teach me something I didn’t know before.
I just hope that girls in my country aren’t that cheap.
To Ruai,
Thanks for the comment you make on Isaan girls, for I happen to be one of them. I’m living in BKK, and I’ve been made inferior many times by the so-called “Bangkokians”. I just graduated 2 years ago and moved to Bangkok to get my first job with one of the well-known universities. As I worked for the international program, I was required to use quite a lot of English. And it so happen to be that, with my love for learning language and my parents’ strong support in education, I’m able to use English fluently. I had people both co-workers and higher-ups asking me my background. I told them that I only spent a couple years abroad, that I graduated from an Isaan university and never attended a bilingual nor international school, and yes, I spent nearly most of my life in Isaan region. The most common reaction I got was “But you use English like someone educated in Bangkok.” It was supposed to be a compliment, but I never quite view it so.
Anyway, nice article, Billy. Maybe I’ll hang around Central World and Paragon more often.
@Dariya: No problem. That sort of racism is one of the things I dislike about Thai culture. In the West we still have racism but its normal to see a black man and a white woman together (or white man and black woman), or an Asian lady and a white man, or a Spanish man and a white lady. Racism still exists but not like here in Thailand.
You know the funny part is that I probably know more Isaan girls who speak English very well than I do “Bangkokians” who are fluent in spoken English just due to the fact that Isaan women tend to interact more with farangs than do Bangkok girls. By that I mean, they tend to work in jobs like hotels, retail shops, customer support, etc where they practice real English with real farangs. I see a lot of Bangkok girls who know English that they teach in books but since they rarely interact with farangs in English their speaking ability is very poor.
And good for you on how well you’ve done. Some of the hardest working people I know are gals from Isaan. Some work 2 or 3 jobs or work a full-time job and go to school in the evenings. They keep trying to better themselves and Thai racism holds them back because they don’t have the prestigious degree or the right family connections. But they keep working hard even when things are against them and you have to give a lot of respect to people who push on in the face of adversity.
I’m not putting down Bangkok girls but I think Isaan girls deserve a lot more respect than they get.
And to sort of backtrack to respond to Venita . . . being uneducated does not make someone stupid. It means they were not afforded the opportunity of an education. So, when people talk about Isaan women being poor and uneducated it’s a statement of fact not a judgment on who they are as a person.
In the US, UK, Europe, and most of the Western world we mostly judge people on their merit. In other words, don’t show my your degree, show me what you can do. Sure, if you go to Harvard, Cambridge or other elite schools you are going to be given more opportunities but even a high school dropout can start his own company and become a billionaire if he works hard and has the right idea.
So poor and uneducated is often something us farangs say about people from Isaan because that is the reality for many people from Isaan. They aren’t given the opportunity to get a quality education and government policies seem to be focused on making sure the rich get richer and the poor remain poor.
So please don’t misread those types of comments when made by farangs. We aren’t looking down on people from Isaan.
Also, just to clarify on the whole Siam Paragon being like kryptonite comment Billy made. I’m sorry, but I have gone to places like Siam Paragon with girls who consider themselves to be lo-so and they hunch over and avoid making eye contact with anyone. You can see it in their physical body language that they feel self-conscious and want nothing more than to get out of there as quickly as possible. So, I get what Billy’s talking about. His analogy to kryptonite is actually pretty accurate. You take a funny, bubbly person and all of a sudden they become quiet and withdrawn. Hop on the BTS and go to MBK and they’re normal again.
Now, that might not be true for all girls. It is really a matter of what you already think of yourself. If you think of yourself as lo-so then as a Thai you’re going to be intimated surrounded by hi-so Thais. If you’ve worked your way through university and into a good job you might think more confidently of yourself and so it might not bother you as much.
The point Billy seems to be going after is that if you want to meet a nice, simple girl from Isaan who might not have a university degree or a good job but has a very good and loving heart, you might want to look for her in places other than Siam Paragon. That’s just not a place you’re going to run into a lot of Isaan women who fit that description.
Hmm.. If you want to meet Isaan girls on their way to an education, I suggest you check out the area around Ramkhamhaeng Uni. Lot’s of nice girls there (nice to look at as well).
And come to think of it, I think there should be an aricle suggest Thai women on how to meet ‘normal and nice farang guys’.
Just a personal point of view though, many farang men in Thailand tend to treat us like disposable goods, since they know that they are a lot of us out there waiting in line to be given a chance. I see it from several farang men I’ve become friend with. The closest example for me right now would be my boss– a charmimg farang guy of 35. I’m his personal assistant, so I deal with some of his personal details from time to time. In my most honest opinion, he’s a manwhore. Sorry, boss.
Hi Dariya,
Maybe you should write that article 🙂
I know this may sound a little counter-intuitive but I think your comment about farangs treating Thais as disposable goods comes out of the fact that many of us feel that we’re viewed as nothing more than a lottery ticket.
And it’s not just how we’re viewed but how we’re treated. Any guy who dates Thai women has been taken (at least once) for the “can I invite my friends” or the “do you want to join me and my friends” scam where you end up picking up the tab for 5 or 6 people. That and the countless other ways Thai women have of showing you that they’re mainly interested in spending your money has a lot to do with how we treat them in return.
There’s also a big difference between guys who toy with someone’s emotions and those who just like dating a lot of women. Personally, I don’t think there’s any problem dating lots of women. Most of them already assume it anyway. When asked I’m honest about it. For me, I don’t see that as a problem since many of them are juggling multiple guys too.
In fact, I recently broke things off with a girl who had some guy she was seeing but had never told me about. When things started getting serious between us she finally told me that she had met some guy a few months before I had met her but he had to go back to Europe. He was coming out again in another month and she wanted to see where things would go between them. Oh, but she did offer to keep me as a gig on the side in case things didn’t go well between her and her guy.
So Thai girls can be just as big of playboys as the men can 🙂
Hi Ruai,
I must admit that I can’t write the article, for I absolutely have no clue where or how to find them. From my experience, when it comes to relationship, all of them just treat us like what a typical Thai men would do to us. The only difference is that farang men are more likely to be clear on what you want from the begining and often give us a closure when you no longer want us. Thai men do just the opposite.
On viewing you as lottery tickets, do you know why you meet a lot of those girls? It’s simple: girls who are in to spend your money or for free drinks won’t shy away while girls who are in just for a good laugh and good conversation don’t try hard enough to compete. I don’t know how exactly you came across girls with scam, but I’m quite certain that most of the time they came to you, not you to them. Thais do see farang as money machine, sadly. But there are girls who just want to be with farang guys because they are sick of the way Thai men have been treating them. Money is a plus, but they will definitely show you that it’s not what they are in for. They are rare, but they do exist. My best friend broke off an engagement from a wealthy US man becase she felt that he wasn’t the one. She isn’t rich. And the whole time she was in relationship with the guy, she never once talked of anything concern his money.
As for Thai girls dating around and lie about it, I would say that they just want to play it safe and have back-up plans. Men run off with another girls so easily. And the fact that you are farang is even more convincing when tons of girls will throw themselves at you whether you are taken or not. They lie because they don’t want lose you. Also, I find that men don’t take it lightly when they find out that they are just “one of her choices”. Personally, I don’t date around. I’m not good at organizing my schedule, but I would love to have people compete for me, rather than the other way around. Honest about it or not, men have plenty of choices while our choices are limited. If lies can keep a girl save from heartbreaks and well treated, why not lie some more?
p.s. I don’t support dishonest, but when it comes to relationship I do have to speak from a girl’s perspective.
Some good points made by Billy and the rest of you, however method works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for someone else.
Billy, you could try the same tactic the next day and you wouldn’t get a response, reason being unknown of course.
Somtimes woman don’t have time to react, could be intimation, lack of confidence due to poor language skills, or the thought of being seeing with a farang (what other thais would think) etc etc.
I don’t think any particular approach works better than the other. It’s simply being in the right place at the right time.
As the mention to hygiene and dress sense, well that should be common sense to most of us. If i am at central world or Paragon on a sunday, I dress neat and casual, I’m more of the sporty nature, a nice T and shorts or Jeans, with a pair of sports shoes (clean of course). If I’m going to a nice lounge or place to eat, dress up alittle more.
Bottom line is, there are just too many variables to really know what works what doesn’t. It all comes down to the individuals.
I would disagree about what works one day won’t work the next. That is only true if on day 1 she is in a normal state and on day 2 she finds out about some tragedy in her life.
For the most part, people respond to certain psychological stimuli. If you know how to speak to women in a non-threatening, confident way then your results will be fairly consistent.
Granted, you can’t account for every variable but given a sufficiently large enough sample size all things should equal out.
What you say is only about 10% of the interaction. How you say it is the other 90%. That part is the part that will remain static in your interactions. If you’re a needy loser then that will come off in your body language and it is only the 10% that will save you (thus why you think your results will vary). If you are confident then it almost doesn’t even matter what you say as long as you say it congruently.
Literally, I could walk up to a woman and say the ABC’s as my opening line and still do better than your average esteem-challenged guy who had the best chat up line in the world.
Ruai,
Appreciate your comments, you make alot of sense, but I think we will agree to disagree on this on.
Cheers
Great article, great read!
I was trying to access the BigBabyKenny ariticle you mentioned about meeting University students, but got a dead link. Please repost. Thank you!
good and xcellent work u r doing for others
i love ur work
All right, I’m going to help a drowning boy here.
You are right….just ask for the number.
But YOU ARE WRONG BY ALOT when you text that day.
-stop the woman like texting. What, do we need constant reassurance that someone likes us? Stop it. Texting is for girls, and girls do it way too much.
-when you do call her, you call 5 to 9 days later. FIVE TO NINE days later. Not on the weekend. Not on Friday night. Between 7:30 and 9 pm.
-When you call, you ask to meet for coffee. Not to hang out. Or, I’m just checking in.
-you need help. Look for Doc Love on the Internet. You, cad, you.
Hmmmmm, I enjoyed alot taste of Thai Girls, the best places to meet real Thai Girls who seek mens for long friedship is south of BKK,
What i really like is to bring a lo- so isaan bar girl to take a walk in Siam Paragorn for example.
I really get delighted to see how some hi-so white skinned Thai chinese gals react.
No..sadly for them..i’m not what they can imagine of the old, balded,sweaty and fat sex tourist .
I’m an average dude..still young in my mid 30’s and i could easily get some good educated Thai girl if i take the time to seek it.
So it’s quit funny to see some of them who wonder what i do with an ugly dark skinned prostitute..and paying her!!!
What the fuck is doing this guy with this low class prostitute?
I had one gf in Udon Thani for my short stay.
She was not a stunner but had white skin.
She told me that if she saw me with an ugly dark skinned and flat nosed girl around there…she would almost kill me!!
Yes..that’s life..and this is why i love LOS..i still can go in many places ang get chicks all around.
Make me remember how miserable my life is in farangland regarding women and what i miss when not in Thailand.
I miss a lot but i work hard to relocate myself as soon as possible in good conditions.
There is one thing that i never miss..is farang ladies and their types..it’s like a liberation when i’m in Thailand.
Far away from them,and i don’t care about the exeption.. i really don’t need them anymore..they have nothing to rivalize with all the Thai ladies i’ve met.
Billy,
I really like your article. Actually my foreign friend sent this link to me and suggested that I should read it. You’ve made some good points about meeting girls in BKK. I’m also a Thai girl who have experiences in dating foreign guys for few years.
However, I would like to correct one thing about Paragon. I don’t think it’s a place only for hi-so or high-up people to go for shopping. Nowadays it’s the place for everyone to go…well, you can say that the majority of customers at Paragon are middle class or above but still, you can find other levels as well but might be less.
I sometimes also use Paragon as a meeting point for my date as well. Since my style is casual, normally just a nice top with jeans so I would feel awkward if my date showed up with over dressed up style. Anyway, I haven’t experienced that type of guy yet though and I don’t think they will date me too…haha…
Back to what you wrote about asking girl’s number….if the guy comes to me politely and starts conversation like normal person which is not too cheesy or flirty, I would give him my number I guess (if I’m single with no bf)
Speaking on girls’ behalf here….if you are a decent guy and you are interested in girls…the most important thing when you approach her is just to smile and be polite, clean looking with nice smell helps a lot (this is a bit personal, I like the guys who use perfume or aftershave – I find it more sexy). With this I think you will have no problem of being rejected by girls you approach. 🙂
i found this page by accident and ended up reading ur article. I’m a senior from Chula. Uni….. i guess Billy prolly knows my uni very well as half of the people in Paragon are chula students lol Its just impressive to know that a farang could know us very well!! Thumps up! and u even know how we think about Isaan low-so girls!!! haha (Hint: most nice educated thai girls don’t have dark skin) Billy, I really wanna know you! Actually, i’ve dated foreigners and even now my bf is not thai. But i met them all in their countries while i was on vacation or studying. And they all loved/love me sooo much. You can find a real nice thai gf then u’ll never want to leave her. Well, good luck! Hope u get a nice thai gf.!
Some of the things that were mentioned about Thai girls, I guess was only part of your opinions and I totally respect that, but most Thai girls are very conservative and aren’t too easy with many men. Thai women don’t usually go for ‘farang’ because of their financial situation, but it could be because they like the western culture and tradition more. I’m Thai, and yes I’m saying all of this from my personal experience and opinions. Life is about meeting new people and to experience with new relationships until you find your “right” one.
^_^
I really enjoy reading your article, Billy Bangkok. It seems that you know a lot about thai people, well, at some point, even better than some people in Thailand.
It’s true that a lot of thai people think that people from Isaan are low-so and since a lot of people from Isaan who come to work in BKK have dark skin, a lot of Bangkokians assume that dark-skinned people are low-so. However, that’s not entirely true. A lot of educated people in Bangkok have dark skin too. A lot of my friends who study in Chula Uni doesn’t have pale skin but that doesn’t mean that they came from Isaan and are low-so. Some of them are even more high-so than the pale skin. Notgonnatellyou must never walk around the Campus, otherwise he would have known that more than half of the girls in his Uni. doesn’t have the Snowhite Skin or the Chinese Princess Skin. I’m a Chula student of a Faculty of Arts (which said to be the Faculty with the most beautiful girls.) and I have dark skin and I am expecting the first row honor too. High-so and Low-so cannot be judged by the colour of one’s skin and a lot of thai people knows that.
Actually, Bangkokians think that Isaan girls are low-so and not good looking because rich and educated Isaan people have no desire to come to BKK. They are happy in their hometowns. On the other hand, poor and uneducated people whose occupation is farmer tends to come to Bangkok because they can only work (rice planting) in their hometown for 3 months a year and they have to find other job for the other 9 months of the year. This is why Bangkokians only see poor and uneducated Isaan people.
Another thing is you can walk in Paragon even if you are not in the ‘high-so’ outfit. A lot of students, both high schoolers and university students, wear their uniform when they go to Paragon. Well, as I witness, half of people in Paragon (after 3 pm) wear their uniforms because a lot of students have their tutoring classes at Siam Square after school, so before or after their class, they come to Paragon.
And it’s partly true about the mean thai-chinese mean girls. Some of these girls usually grew up in the close environment when they were in elementary secondary school, so when they start their university life, they do not understand that people who have different skin colour, different financial situation or different family background are not all low-so or not-worth-while-associating-with. I experience a lot of thai-chinese girls graduated from the private secondary school who couldn’t believe that other students who come from regular public school from the North or from Isaan beat them up in every class and they keep saying that this couldn’t be right because their schools offer better classes than the others’ do. But in their defence, thai people who do not have chinese blood tends to have the stereotype that thai-chinese people who have a lot of money are nouvo rich and that they are rude and selfish; they are not the ‘Phoo-Dee’ or gentile. Maybe that’s why thai-chinese girls are so mean to 100% thai people and Isaan people who have darker skin and bigger eyes. Anyways, not all thai-chinese girls are like that. A lot of them are very nice and friendly.
I am French and working in Bangkok for more than 5 years; a few years ago, with a friend we discussed with a friend about going to the malls, well dressed, with our business cards in order to meet “nice girls”; but we never did ;-))
For me, I face another problem; there are too many nice girls, whatever their skin colours, and it is not easy to focus on 1 girl only; too many temptations, too many sexy girls; if some friends would read my comments in my country, they could not understand, but it is true, too difficult to control and stop flying around.
So Billy, if you have also a solution not to get many phone numbers because my problem comes from here, but on how to focus on ONLY 1 girl when you get one, fell free to let me know; the only way I found was to leave the country, but unfortunately I really don’t want to!!
Thanks in advance
I come here randomly and found that you are mostly right about that. 🙂
I also read it for fun to my boyfriend, a viking one…yea of course Swedish.
We found out that oh yea you are right in many points.
However, we thai girls, we are not that different from others.
You can imagine that if you meet the girls in the club, it’s easy to start the conversation. And if you asked her background and she tell you the truth and you can prove it. So it means that you get a chance to meet nice+normal thai girls.
I said the club because it can break down the ego of people. Of course, people go to the club…we wanna have fun and get to know new people.
Kao Sarn Road may be tourist places, but if you hang out with those university students or those women who are just come there and relax from boring job during a weekday. I think you can find the nice people to hang out or date with too.
But I do believe that nice people are exist everywhere, but it would be cool if we find the right target.
Hey.. I agree with most of your stuff but unfortunately i’m a little confused over one point. You say that you are not looking for a girl who is after financial security. However by approaching the girl on the phone and implying you are looking to buy a new phone… and then sending her the text that you bought it. Automatically the subject of your meeting and your connection was the “product” (the phone). She will have read into this that your a guy who likes to spend money… and therefore you must have it to spend so she would see you as a financial secure partner… but wasn’t that what you said you weren’t looking for. I’d be interested to know if you accidentally caught the fish you didn’t want… are you still dating…??
Good article to the visitors of Thailand who are only looking for relationships
Paragon and Central World seems obvious. But what do you think about BTS stations? I understand that most people are running to their jobs and have no much time for romances, but sometimes you can meets really nice girls there.
This is all the easy part. The challenge is find her “alone” in Paragon or CentralWorld. They are usually in clusters, as among the most frightening things in life for a Thai is being alone……..
Great Article. I have had luck meeting normal office girls in past years with Yahoo Chat. (Are chat sites still used? )
I also have picked up casually in a mall. So much better than clubs and parlors.
In my experience, at least up until very, very recently, not many Thais use(d) Yahoo. Thailand seems a very MSN place. Now with Facebook, Skype, and other alternatives this has changed a bit but MSN was by far the leading chat platform in Thailand.
Thanks for the quick reply….
So if I were to do some preliminary exploring which forum would you say is most popular? FB, Skype, MSN, other?
@Mike: I really would have no idea. I was just pointing out that in the chat world, Yahoo probably, at best, had about a 10% market share. MSN was the other 90%. Nowadays Thais are adopting FB and Skype more but not necessarily giving up MSN.
Hello
Looking for a sweet Thai girl
Mark
780-906-614
need beauty girls
Thanks a zillion Billy. You’re a beacon of life for ones like me who’d go for normal nice girls rather than the hookers.
One question: What in your expert opinion is the right chat site to also do some homework??
Regards
god bless you