You always see tips for guys on online dating and social networking websites but most of the advice for women is geared towards safety. Nobody takes the time to tell women what they’re doing wrong on their profiles and how they might improve their chances of landing themselves a nice farang.
Size Does Matter
Gals, seriously, you might as well post nothing rather than uploading that 5 x 5 pixel photo of you standing on the beach in Hua Hin taken from 500 meters away on a 200 baht camera phone.
Do yourself a favor and beg, borrow, or steal a camera and put a photo up there that guys can actually see what you look like.
Perhaps using your ID card photo as your profile pic isn’t such a good idea. Hell, put some height markers behind you and it might as well be a police booking photo. With the way that Thai women jump in front of the camera I find it hard to believe you don’t have a more flattering photo of yourself.
Cliché is So Cliché
There’s nothing wrong with doing something cliché except for the fact that it says that you have a limited capacity to think for yourself. Here are some things you might want to remove from your profile if you want to stand out from every other Thai girl out there.
Get rid of all the photos of you puffing your cheeks out and making a goofy face into the camera. After seeing the thousandth profile with the puffed cheeks shot it’s anything but cute.
Stop doing the peace sign in every photo. There are so many things wrong with this. First off, it just looks stupid. Second, many girls flip their hand around so instead of it being the peace sign it means “fuck off” to British people. Third is that some try to do it in close up shots which means that they form the V in front of their mouth making it a crude gesture which suggests oral sex with a woman.
Get rid of the following phrases from your profiles: “I not like liar.” “I looking for someone can take care me and my family.” “I Thai girl from Thailand.”
Get rid of the picture of you in traditional Thai dress unless you plan on showing up for our date dressed like that. The whole idea behind a profile photo is to give someone an idea of what they can expect if they meet you.
Get rid of the picture of you on graduation day. I’m no mathematician but even I can figure out that if you’re 29 that your graduation photo probably isn’t current. I know that in Thailand it may be a status thing to have graduated university but most online dating sites have a question about your level of education so fill that in and you can leave your 7 year old photo out of your profile.
I’m not sure what the fascination is with having your photo taken in an automobile but stop it. The photos inevitably are poorly composed and not very flattering. I could see if it was your way of showing that you’re wealthy enough to own a car but 99% of the photos are taken from the passenger side.
Can We Just Make Some Assumptions?
I think you can safely say that the vast majority of the world’s population doesn’t like liars, people who can’t stay faithful in a relationship, perverts, murderers, child molesters, people who insist on taking phone calls in the movie theatre, and the guy at the taxi stand outside the arrivals terminal at the airport. So, there’s really no need to say those things in your profile. If asking liars, butterflys, and guys cruising for webcam sex not to contact you was an effective way of warding them off then we could solve the world’s violent crime problems by making up t-shirts that said IF YOU ARE A MURDERER STAY AWAY.
Even though you may have a niece or nephew who is the center of your world, unless you have a baby, leave photos of children out of your profile pics. It’s just confusing.
We’re Not THAT Stupid
Listen, I know that farangs have paid for a lot of buffalos back up in Isaan but when your profile says you live in Pattaya and you have a profile pic of you spread out seductively on a short-time hotel bed in nothing but your bra and panties exposing a large tattoo down your back, even we don’t believe that you’re an office worker.
Hey, I’m not against you girls marketing for customers or even trying to find a nice guy to take you out of the business but give us a small amount of credit for being able to know the difference between a traditional Thai girl and a working girl.
Leave Your Ex-Boyfriends Out of the Picture
There are few things as odd as seeing someone on a dating site or on a social networking site listing their objective as dating to have profile pics of them with other guys. Who is that young Thai guy you’re kissing on the cheek? Your brother? Your boyfriend? Worse yet is when the caption you’ve chosen for the picture is “The Most Special Person in My Life.” WTF is that supposed to mean?
And while we’re at it, pictures of you sucking back a Bacardi Breezer in some nightclub while some farang(s) has his arm around your hips doesn’t exactly scream “I’m single.”
Easy on the Melodrama
Drama is exactly what farang men don’t want. drop all of the melodramatic crap in your profiles and IM status. Here’s a sample of things I’ve run across in just the last few days:
I am swimming through the river of hell (Yeah, that’s the kind of girl you want to meet. Nothing says this is the girl of my dreams like a girl with problems.)
I feel like a lonely puppy (What??)
For you I would do anything (Okay, make me a sandwich)
Why is my life so horrible (Maybe her and the river of hell girl should get together)
When you left me I felt like I was going to die (Again, this is a generic status message. Who is she writing this to and why is she on a dating site and giving out her details if she’s still mourning her last relationship?)
Don’t Be Stingy With the Details
I enjoy writing so perhaps I have a bias towards the verbose but give us a little more than “Oh, I don’t know what to say about myself. If you want to know something, just ask.” I’m just not buying that you didn’t have time to ponder the question when you’ve uploaded 8000 photos of yourself, picked out the most garish profile theme I’ve ever seen, and have 14 songs and 72 videos that all start playing when you open your profile. Believe me, you’ve spent a lot of time and effort into making your profile page crash my browser so the least you can do is string together a paragraph or two about yourself.
Give English a Chance
I am not one of those people who thinks everyone in the world should speak English but if you’re looking to meet a farang guy writing your entire profile in Thai probably isn’t that helpful. It’s just simple marketing. 1.8 billion people speak English. 65 million people speak Thai. Considering there are 63 million Thai people living in Thailand and the rest are spread out over the rest of the globe the number of farang who can read and write Thai means only a very small number of farang men will ever read your profile.
Again, I’m not saying that you need to go out and learn English tomorrow. Get a friend, relative, or the guy who translates all of the bar girls’ emails in your village to do it for you.