Hot or Not? What Thai Girls Look for in a Foreign Guy

Given the huge cultural differences between Thailand and the West, its not surprising that what’s hot in one culture may not be all that in the other.  In the two years I’ve lived in Thailand, I’ve seen guys that would be considered pretty average back home end up with super hot Thai girls.  On the other hand, I’ve seen guys, who back home would do quite well, get ignored by very average Thai girls.  So what’s the deal?  Well, after extensive scientific investigation (read:  many nights spent partying in clubs) I’ve come to the following conclusions about what’s hot or not in Thailand, which should be of use to any hopeful romantics in the country.


 Thai girls want something different – but not that different


The first clue as to what Thai girls want involves looking at the other half of the Thai race:  Thai men.  Virtually all Thai girls in their 20’s or older will have dated at least one Thai guy in the past. The majority of Thai guys tend to be short, thin, and somewhat effeminate.  Foreigners, on the other hand, tend to be taller, heavier built, and more masculine.  All these factors can definitely work in the foreign man’s favor – but only in moderation.  Most Thai girls want a man who is tall and strong – but not some huge body builder or muscle freak.  In fact, most romantically successful foreign guys in Thailand tend to be relatively slim and effeminate compared to other foreigners – though of course larger and more masculine than the average Thai male.  So if you read body building magazines and spend hours at the gym pumping iron, you might want to lay off the steroids for awhile before booking a flight to Thailand. 


Case Study:  The Vin Diesel type is better off staying at Home


Back in the West, a hyper masculine guy with a strong, muscular build like Vin Diesel would probably be considered very attractive to a lot of girls.  Not so in Thailand.  See point #1.  Don’t forget that the average Thai girl is fairly short and as thin as a stick – she’d probably be terrified of someone Vin Diesel’s size!  On the other hand, a guy who looks like Matt Damon – someone who is slim, strong, yet with a slightly effeminate face – would do very well in Thailand.  So nurture your metrosexual side and you may have to beat off the girls with a stick.  



The Clothes Make the Man


Its been written over and over again that keeping a high standard of personal hygiene and dressing with a little class does wonders for the foreign male’s chances of winning over a beautiful Thai girl.  Well, most foreign guys in Thailand must be too busy downing yet another Chang to do much reading, because its amazing how poor most foreigners dress in Thailand.  I’m not even referring to the neo-hippy backpackers because that’s a whole different story, but to the middle aged guys who show up to a club wearing sandals, shorts, and a Red Bull tank top.  In any decent club, restaurant, or bar, the average Thai male will be wearing nice shoes, designer jeans, and a stylist dress shirt.  Follow suit and you will instantly be elevating yourself above 90% of the foreigners in Thailand, and receiving much more attention from the opposite sex to boot.




Skin Color Does Matter


Its unfortunate but true:  in Thailand, people are judged all the time based on skin tone.  The whiter the skin, the more attractive, wealthy, and elite a person is perceived to be.  Little wonder then that the supermarkets are filled with skin-whitening products, that many Thai girls will carry around an umbrella to block out the sun’s rays, and that Thai models are so pale they look like they haven’t been exposed to sunlight since they stopped wearing diapers.  Therefore, a foreign male who gets a kick out of burning his skin to a crisp reddish brown on the islands before hitting the clubs in Bangkok shouldn’t be too surprised when Thai girls don’t give him a second glance.  Of course, most Caucasian foreign guys who arrive in Thailand are pretty white to begin with, so as long as you don’t seek out the sun, you should be fine.  On the other hand, African-Americans, Indians, and Arabs who arrive in Thailand will be at a distinct disadvantage in the dating arena due to their darker shade of skin.




 Loose the Beer Gut


If there’s one physical feature that’s an almost universal turn-off to Thai girls, it’s a large beer belly.  Of course, loosing weight is easier said than done, and poor genes or a slowing metabolism sure don’t help.  Neither does the widespread availability of cheap beer in Thailand or that huge portion of bangers’n’mash at your favorite expat restaurant.  However, by following a few simple tips, it can be relatively easy to stabilize your weight or even drop a few pounds in Thailand.  First off, if you must drink, better stick with whiskey & soda rather than the ubiquitous beer, which is heavy in calories.  Secondly, Thai eateries generally serve meals of smaller portions and fewer calories than the typical gut-busting fare of an expat restaurant, so eat local and you’ll be shedding the pounds in no time.  Fitter guys appear younger, healthier, and generally more desirable to Thai girls, so control your weight and notice the difference in the attention you receive from the Thai ladies.




When All Else Fails


Some of you readers must be thinking about the time (probably numerous times) you walked down a street in Bangkok and saw an old, overweight foreigner with zero fashion sense being escorted by a beautiful Thai girl half his age.  Doesn’t that scene run counter to all of the above advice?  It sure does, but remember that such men are likely being escorted to the nearest jewelry shop or ATM machine in a calculated bid to slowly relieve them of their life savings.  The truth is, no matter what “look” a foreign guy has or how unattractive he may be perceived by Thai girls, there will always be some uneducated girls from disadvantaged backgrounds who will be more than willing to date him provided they receive material support in return.  This may be great for foreign guys who would have no chance of scoring otherwise, but also depressing for many guys who feel like they are being “used” rather than genuinely loved.  However, for the foreign guys out there who are looking for a beautiful, classy Thai girl that’s genuinely interested in true romance, then take the advice in this article to heart and you may very well find the girl of your dreams in Thailand.




209 thoughts on “Hot or Not? What Thai Girls Look for in a Foreign Guy”

  1. francis i am sure you do understand, not all english men our sex perverts and some of our men our very sexy like some of italian men our ,i guess you dont like the english,and some thai woman are hard working not all out for what they can get.

  2. yes I agree , “not all” english men are sex perverted……, almost all…..they do not go to thailand to visit temples anyway and their reputation is known …
    Italian at least when they have sex, they love… is just in their nature….it is just a different way to have sex…..
    yes “some” thai women are hard working……., some…….

  3. I travel around the world for work….but when i have to go to Thailand, my doctor suggest me not to sleep with more than One woman a day….but even if the offer is very big, i try listen to my doctor…..

  4. Thai men are hot. Many have fit bodies, nice hair and good skin.
    But Thai women think they are above Thai men. Thai women think themselves so beautiful and amazing, that a Thai man could never be good enough for them. They think they deserve a White American Express, at least.
    So, you see, a Thai woman does not go for hot looks. Otherwise, she would take Thai man.

  5. according to what I see in thai television and films and also in reality, thai women love thai men first, marry them and have childreen with them and when thai men consider his (young wife) too old, he looks for younger women and to have sex left and right for free….
    Then when thai woman have childreen and husband has left her for younger girls without giving to his wife even one bath to support herself and childreen, then come old farang, may be escaped from some antiques museo or from madame tissaud, but well loaded with money……so thai women start see american express “ATM” and prefer go with him, also because no thai man would go with a woman already second hand….

  6. oh boohoo, poor defenseless Thai women are ALWAYS being abused and taken advantage of!! so they really need white men to come and save them from these horrible Thai men!! I’m so tired of hearing that story, Thai women playing the perpetual victim, and putting down Thai men as if they were all sick bastards. I take offence to that as I know many honest, caring and hard-working Thai men.
    Of course Thai women are still marrying Thai men, but by default: what about the surveys that state “70% of Isaan women want to marry a Farang”? To me that means: “70% of Isaan women think they’re worth more than what a Thai man can offer. Unless the Thai man is a local equivalent of Donald Trump, 70% of Thai women won’t consider marrying a Thai man.” But the worst part it, these Thai women happily put down Thai men in order to make themselves look superior/in need of a white saviour. Not very classy.

  7. @francis:
    Francis, you know there is some truth to what I am saying. Thai men complain about this often, I’m not making it up (although many sexpats have no idea what Thai men think since they are only here to interact with 51% of the population- the women- and don’t even consider making Thai male friends. Their loss). It’s the same thing as English guys in the UK who complain that English girls think they deserve a millionaire. Maybe you’d rather believe that Thai girls are not like that, that they’re sweet things rather than superficial bitches. Enjoy the illusion, then, but one day reality will hit.

  8. Then when thai woman have childreen and husband has left her for younger girls without giving to his wife even one bath to support herself and childreen, then come old farang, may be escaped from some antiques museo or from madame tissaud, but well loaded with money……so thai women start see american express “ATM” and prefer go with him, also because no thai man would go with a woman already second hand…”.
    Well that is the good thing about practical Thailand. No wasted welfare system and a constant population growth. Too bad the USA does not do this!!!

  9. @ Vasha, yes it’s truly better to have women resort to prostitution, instead of a welfare system which provides single mothers with enough money to take care of themselves and the child. I hope that was a sarcastic comment, Vasha, otherwise you are truly fucked-up… but Thailand seems to do that to many men brains.

  10. i think all over the asian continent men and women have a fascination for farangs. so i think both the thai men and women would at some point like to date a white person, its just that very few white girls would date thai men that you do not find that sort of an inter racial couple. where as for a thai girl it is easier as many westerners come to thailand to find love/women for themselves.

  11. Thai women love foreign men and they usually try to have a spare one just in case. They are in it for the long run though, it isn’t about having a fling for them. I suggest foreign guys out there who just want to have fun better beware. I really don’t think Thai women do casual dating, they are looking for a husband.

  12. I am quite surprised by the remarks of “Khaek” on “racism” being prevalent in Islam and other Abrahamic faiths ! First of all, his assertion had no relevance to the topic being discussed ! Supposed religio-superiority and racism are two different things. Secondly, would he consider the caste system of Hinduism in India as an egalitarian model to stratify society ? In fact, in more ways than not,
    one could perceive that one of the most racist systems around, all the while being an integral and institutionalized aspect of Hinduism.

  13. Why you so upset with my assertion on racism in abrahamic faiths? Touched a raw nerve did I? Religio superiority and racism (superiority on color of skin) are same and so is caste system in hindu society.

    You are a muslim I presume? Thats why it hit a raw nerve. How can you say that religio-superiority and racism are two different things? So caste superiority is racist and religio superiority is not? (According to you?) Who are you? Einstien?
    Incidentally there is superiority even in Islam, the saudi wahabbis consider themselves the MOST superior, and actually look down even upon fellow muslims. And specially shias – one of the most liberal muslims around.

  14. First of all, you don’t know what you are talking about; secondly, what you are talking about is total gibberish; and, lastly, and most important of all, your earlier remarks casting aspersion on a particular religion was completely irrelevant and had no bearing to the topic: “What Thai Girls look for in a Foreign guy”. And while
    you are at it, you should go back to school and learn to spell. I rest my case.

  15. I DID touch a very raw nerve. In MY ideology, superiority or inferiority based on colour of skin, superiority of religion, caste superiority or bangkok thais looking down upon country bumpkins from isaan are one and same thing. Did I forget language superiority? French consider their language as most refined and superior to english. It did have bearing to the topic of thai girls being racist and going to farangs, based on skin colour. ALL men are equal but some are more equal than others.
    And where did I make spelling mistakes? Meeee nooo speeeek no good engleesh, but me know where to hit below belt. You MUST be muslim. :))

  16. Who cares what they like and dont like to be honest I miss the women from my own country.

  17. “Khaek”: Rather I believe I must have touched a very raw nerve in you with my rebuttal to your rather disingenuous and off-topic comment. Your mind appears to incapable of making differences between disparate issues and lumps everything together under racism ! Well, if that simplification makes things convenient for you, then I wonder why you failed at the very outset to point out the blatant racism in your own religion and country ? The last I heard, the hindu caste system in india [ and nepal], and right under your very nose, is very much alive and kicking. But you conveniently omitted this fact while babbling on some crazy tangent about racism in moslems, jews and christians. I guess you must be one strange dude suffering from a plethora of complexes.

  18. @Venter
    I know from your virulent reaction, that you are muslim and I did touch a raw nerve in yu, because you dont want to admit your religio-superiority of islam. Well, it is the WORST religion in the world, who has problems with ALL non-muslims and creating trouble worldwide and preaches to kill non-muslims. Get out and go back to saudi arabia, and see ladies covered in burkha.
    BTW-I am not hindu, I am buddhist. :))

  19. @Venter

    Why did you muzzies destroy the statues of Phra buddha in bamiyan in afghanistan? Doesnt it give us the right to demolish all mosques in all buddhist countries? ;)) And yes burn the unholy koran? :))

  20. “Khaek” I have now checked all the comments related to the topic and I see that I am not alone in querying the relevance of your remarks to the subject under consideration. In fact “admin” took you to task for making misleading remarks. So for the umpteenth time, can you explain to all and sundry how your pathetic histrionics on moslems have any bearing to what Thai girls look for in foreign guys ? I don’t think you can. So do us all a big favor, wobble your head like a good little boy, and get some education. Whether you’re an untouchable, hindu or buddhist is no concern of mine.

  21. My arguements are logical. Thai girls go for foreign men, meaning white caucasians. Like written in the article. That is racism. Unequality. Whether it is by colour of skin, religious superiority, linguistic superiority, or casteism, or even mahayana buddhism being superior to theravada buddhism. Or light skinned bangkok thais looking down on isaan people. Why did it touch a raw nerve when I mentioned islamic superiority in the same context? (Unless ofcourse you are a muslim)
    And please go back to saudi arabia to look at burkha clad women, And do something about re-building the bamiyan buddhas, in afghanistan, or maybe I should retaliate against mosques here? YOu muslims are trouble makers worldwide, whether in yala, pattani , narathiwat,in deep south, or chechnya, or zinjiang, or bosnia, or kashmir, or israel. You are untouchables hated worldwide.

  22. “Kate” The guy is obviously a crackpot with a chip on his shoulder. I gather from his earlier remark that he is from india. Anyway, let me respond to his latest attempt on sidetracking and disinformation. Cheers.

  23. “Khaek” You happen to be an out and out liar. On December 3, 2009 you said :
    …”Of course if you are like me a hindu” Yet a few days back [May 23, 2011] you told me you’re not a hindu but a buddhist. Perhaps should I congratulate you on your sudden conversion to buddhism ? Anyway, a convert or not, you have a hindu background. Then on January 5, 2010 you asserted that “..islam teaches racism”. Indeed, islam may teach something for the bad or good, but I doubt it
    “teaches racism” ! Why ? Because if you see people in prayer in any mosque you’ll find people of different races side-by-side offering their prayers. In fact, people of different races are welcome into the fold. But I seriously doubt if that happens in your religion. It would be a cold day in hell if one sees a brahman with an untouchable or some other lower caste person doing pooja together. And I venture perhaps that’s why you felt the need to convert to buddhism as you were getting the wrong end of the deal as a low caste hindu ? My sympathies. Anyway, as “admin” pointed out, many religions are culpable in their conviction that their religion is the only way to heaven. Yet that surely is not and does not necessarily translate into racism. I believe “Ruai” [January 7] ,amongst others, questioned you rather odd definition of racism. But I agree with you on one thing, per your comment of August 4, you are a “looser”. In fact, I would elevate you one step higher as being both a looser and loser. Congrats !

  24. I am a crackpot witha chip on my shoulder, I absolutely positively HATE muslims. Actually I believe in equality, but not what semitic religions preach superiority based on faith. Follow my faith or you will go to hellfire. Well, try sending me. That is in my view, racism. Islam is the BIGGEST culprit, follow my religion or I kill you, said bin laden. Happy he is killed. :))

    Venter you muslim moron, I DID touch a very raw nerve in you, I am very very happy to get you muzzies upset. Oh, I also burnt a koran, now what you gonna do to me? Get out and go to saudi arabia, and take your f***all religion, and shove it up yours. End of debate. Happy to make you upset. most hated people WORLDWIDE

  25. My little “khaek”, you have absolutely lost all your credibility with the lie I exposed on your religion. Not that I care what it is, but the fact that you thought you pulled a fast one, is the clincher that brings you down. Anyway, its not me who’s frothing at the mouth like a rabid dog; you better get professional help quick.
    Good day !

  26. @Venter
    Do you muzzies really have a brain?
    Quote,” Anyway, as “admin” pointed out, many religions are culpable in their conviction that their religion is the only way to heaven. Yet that surely is not and does not necessarily translate into racism. ” Unquote
    so, you dont believe in equality of religion, and think that islam (the most hated religion worldwide) is SUPERIOR . Islam is the only true religion and all other religions are false

    Well, I believe ALL religions are true and Islam is the only false religion and all muslims are fuel for hellfire. Atleast we follow Phra buddha, the apostle of peace, unlike your self-appointed prophet mohammed who was a paedophile child molestor, who at 53 “married” (raped) a 6 year old pre pubescent girl. He was a looter , murderer, rapist, child molestor.
    Maybe I too should go and break a few mosques. ;))
    I burnt the koran , too :)) Now get mad, go frothing at the mouth. :))

  27. To Kaekh: Don’t yah think you’re way off base with the way your going on ?
    Anyway, for all we know you could be a muzzie yourself !

  28. “Craig” This crackpot is just a nothing, a “nowhere man” from India who one day claims he’s hindu and the next day a buddhist. I’m sure if he had [and he almost certainly does] a lower IQ than you, he’ll pronounce that inequality as “racism” !
    What a buffoon.

  29. why so many useless comments, the reason farangs go to asia especially thailand and philippines is because of the standard of living and it means that asian women are extreemely cheaper for sex and do it only for money which in western we cannot afford…no thai woman ever love a poor farang and farangs in thailand are old men, who should save money for the funeral and not spend all for clever women. do you know where the “G” point is in thai women? …in the WALLET

  30. can you imagine same farangs old fat or skinny, mostly looking like franknstein production come to france and italy, or even in aia, in korea or japan, where life is much more expensive than thailand, which younger irl would look at them, not even women over 60 would bother to go with such older men, unless he is a milionaire, but in us dollars or pound…not in bath or pesos hahahaha and if you dont agree with this, you are a dreamer full of illusion and completely out of reality….dont tell me that italian spanis french women are not good looking, but if same farang who go to thailand would try contact with them… no way possible, they have money and proud and dont need mummies for partners

  31. “Francis” You are absolutely right. Least of all, would Thai girls go out with some bozo like Mr Khaek regardless of his age.

  32. the more money you pay a thai woman the younger you are, thai women have special glasses when see farangs, they dont see men, they see walking dollars with 2 legs hahaha

  33. farangs are so stupid with compare with western women and silly discussion, but need you 1000 years to understand that a farangs is only interesting for his money, regardless age and look, is really unbelievable how nowdays after so many evidence, that are still so very stupid farangs who marry thai women (thai caregivers) and buy house car support family and give them money, just for a woman 150 cm tall and 40 kg weight or so…and if you stop give her money be careful that she does not cut your dick at night….

  34. kije we care about love? U learned that women are the same. But at least in Thailand she is sexual and good looking fot the no sex, fat ,vicious cow of the west!
    What does the Western Woman want all your money and your sex organs in a vault.

  35. at least in thailand she is sexual hahahahahahaha this is a valid consideration only for old sick skinny fat farangs who in his country never find a woman who even think to have sex with such men because they choose younger and better and farangs like men who are in Thailand, when they get undressed for sex they look for vomiting, but thai women for money dont care because money is more important that proud and dignity. western women are much more sexual, look at russia cekia slovacchia danimark italy france spain and so on….only that beautiful women dont go with such farangs. even in thailand where prostitution (theoretically forbidden..funny) the 14% of national product is from prostitution and even in Thailand, in Puket and kohsamui, where money is, the most desired women are farangs from russia, just A QUESTION OF PRICE, FOR A NIGHT WITH A SEXY RUSSIN WOMAN 180 CM TALL AND SLIM FIGURE YOU NEED 500 EURO AND FOR A THAI WOMAN 150 TALL, 50 EURO IS MORE THAN ENOUGH….THAI WOMEN ARE SEXY ONLY LIKE A CHOCCOLATE CAN BE YOUR MEAL, BUT WHEN YOU EAT, YOU NEED BEEF STEAK NOT ONLY DESSERT OR HORS DOEUVRE…..i AGREE, FOR FARANGS WHO IN HIS COUNTRY HE HAS SEX ABSTINENCE SINCE MANY YEARS, THAI WOMAN IS SEXY…..BETTER THAN NOTHING!!!!

  36. is not the color of the farangs which really matter, but the color and quantity of money and indians africans dont have many chances because dont have so much money. Thai woman would not give a glance also to a white caucasian farang if she know that he is poor and cannot support her and family, on the other side a rich african indian and arab has same chance as a rich farangs…i know some rich arab who spend money left and right and make have thai women fuck them a couple of week and leave them…are not so many, because rich arab or rich indians and africans if really rich, they prefer blond western women therefore in thailand are not many…but dont tell me that thai woman prefer a poor farang to a rich african or arab and indians, is the most stupid joke I have ever heard and very irrealistic.
    I think many farangs just like to look at mirror in thailand and think how handsome they are….but if dont have money, the mirror can laugh at them….

  37. RIO if you look like dracula, then i believe that thai women are sexual (for money), which western woman is so stupiod to have sex with monsters?

  38. In Thailand the vast majority of western males get low end women, usually in need of money assistance. Even university grads may seek these guys out if they need money. Thai women that are financially stable, educated, generally have zero interest in the old guys unless they look like Sean Connery. Almost all western guys never learn correct conversational thai or learn it in beer bars. Virtually none read or write Thai.

    Plan and simple “fee for service” If it works for both parties I have no problem,

  39. While it’s dangerous to make assumptions about any culture/group of people I think there are a number of inescapable facts that are true of alot of farang and Thai woman interaction. While I don’t profess to be any kind of expert on all things Thai I believe that the eighteen years of living in the LOS has given me a reasonable amount of background, or insight, to be able to make comment.

    The first, and unfortunately, inescapable fact is that most farang males go looking for Thai female company in all the wrong places. Now I don’t see anything particularly wrong with that – as I am guilty of the same practices myself – but lets keep things in perspective. The woman who we interact with during our nocturnal activities are for short term assignations only. Trying to make something else out of it – such as a marriage situation – is just asking for trouble. Girls who do it for cash are only interested in one thing; money. And they only got at one thing; sex. They aren’t very good marriage material due the second inescapable fact that they’re generally poorly educated, they come from a poor background and their primary focus in life is supporting their families. Make use of them for what they are there for and don’t try turn them into a wife. Sometimes I see guys who appear to be financially okay with these type of birds at places like the Oriental coffee shop at Emporium. It’s quite cringeworthy because it’s obvious, to all who are there, what these woman are.

    The next inescapable fact is that older guys, such as myself, aren’t going to be getting an attractive, educated, hiso type as a wife, or girlfriend, unless we’re absolutely rolling in cash. And even then, as alot of younger guys have commented, it’s not a given as alot of these financially independent Thai birds are looking for younger guys that they’ve got more in common with.

    Generally what I’ve seen is that Thai woman from a financially poor background, be they good girl or bar girl, are looking for a financial leg up in life. It’s just a natural thing that most people are looking to improve themselves. I don’t have any problems with this because I wouldn’t consider getting involved with them.

    When you are older in this country your options become more limited. In some ways I can understand why many of my friends, who are in the same age group as me and who’ve also been here for a long time, prefer to remain single. If I want an attractive lady for the night I just go out to a night club and pay the appropriate fee.

  40. @Megalithic: I agree and disagree with you on this. The problem is that 90% of the women who hang out in places where farangs are likely to hang out are after money one way or the other.

    I have so many Thai female friends from all different walks of life. Hiso, fauxso, middle class, dirt poor. And even within this group of people I consider friends there is so much ugliness in their view of the world, money, and relationships.

    For instance, one gal makes about 25,000 baht a month in a good job with a multinational company. She spends Thurs – Sat at Narz, Climax, and various Ekamai and Thong Lor bars getting absolutely hammered out of her head. On most of her clubbing nights she leaves with some hot, young Guido looking guy and the next time you see her she doesn’t remember leaving with a guy or woke up and realized he’s not as young, good looking, or rich as she thought he was and expects all of her friends to comfort her. Two weeks ago she posted on Facebook “Why can’t I ever find a good guy?” I wanted to respond, “Why? Probably because you act like a drunken slut that only wants a guy as superficial as you are.” Of course, I didn’t respond that way but watching her do the same thing over and over and watching her being frustrated at getting the same results reminds me too much of insanity.

    Another gal I know found some guy who was willing to let her move in and pay all of her bills while she completed her MBA. She didn’t lift a finger around the house (even though that was a condition of their deal to let her move in), contribute for food, rent, or any bills, and she mostly gave up on her MBA and hung out all day watching television while she failed her courses at university. Both her and her posse of friends were totally shocked when the guy asked her to leave.

    I’m not trying to say that all Thai women are bad. It’s just that we often get caught up in this fantasy that if they don’t work in the bars that they’re marriage material. Some of the supposedly good girls are far, far, far worse than the bar girls. At least the bar girls have relatively humble wants.

    Unless you speak Thai very well or meet your darling somewhere off the beaten track chances are heavily in favor of you meeting someone who is fairly shallow and materialistic. It’s not impossible to meet a girl who you can have a real relationship with but it’s harder than most people think since they reason that anyone not a bar girl has a heart of gold.

  41. BillyBangkok: Some interesting observations there. Perhaps the common denominator here is simply that they’re corrupted by hanging out with farang?

    Now I don’t mean this in a derogatory way but perhaps, over time, these girls expectations in life are changed by being exposed to situations where they see money flowing easily and freely? I certainly saw this with the Isarn Princess I had over the five years that we were together. She went from being someone living a relatively simple life to a money grabbing, gold digging bitch. And, you know what, it was entirely my own fault for spoiling her. Eventually I couldn’t provide enough and I was changed out for an upgrade. A mate had a similiar situation with a uni graduate; over a four year period she went from being a nice, demure lady to a rotten gold digger. Finally giving him an ultimatum; a condo, a car and an 80k baht a month salary or she finds someone else. I’ve had a number of ladies from varied backgrounds, including the bar scene, ask to be my girlfriend and every time I’ve replied “I don’t pay monthly salary.” And you know what? all of them lost interest very quickly. Kind of tells you something there doesn’t it?

  42. @megalithic. I generally agree. But come on it’s just women. Your quote you are not paying any salary fits similar situations in every upper class club around the world. I am swiss and italian, journalist in my thirties, I speak six languages. Women often tell me I am beautiful (no, i dont mean pretty). I suppose I am “hot” for both thai and western girls and therefore find it easy to hook up in any situation. SO WHAT? Finding the “right one” is just as difficult for me as it may be for a khaosan-pothead-budget-backpacker.

    By the way: Financial status is important. If not, why do you write about meeting “normal” thai girls? Just a question of determination. And telling them you don’t pay in fact is telling them they are some kind of whore. Every women with dignity will move on, whether she is thai or from disneyland.

  43. @monterosa: I’m not a hiso, wealthy or young so my options are far more limited than yours. The good girls that I’ve meet were the normal Thai, office worker types whose salaries are fairly small. I had a couple of them mention their money problems to me and that’s when I said that I don’t pay a monthly stipend. I think I was quite within my rights to say so but I can also understand the reasons for them trying it on. If one is poor in Thailand then life is a struggle.

    Do we ever really find the right one or is it just a matter of making compromises and adjustments to our lives to include someone else?

  44. Not only is it in your rights to say that. Its your duty.

    What I was trying to say is: women generally love your status. If you have all the possibilities like money and good looks, it may be an advantage for your sex live. But if you really face the situation, you are just a damn louis vuitton bag with a cock and balls.

    A lot of people say dont search for the right one, you’ll just be disappointed because of your high expectations. That is pathetic and some kind of dull dalai lama mantra. I think finding the right one is in fact looking out over and over again, making the right compromises and adjustments. And if you break off with your girl , it is still a win situation: you took the risk, had a good or least intense time and grow as a person. You can learn from every women, even from the most blackhearted whore.

    If I am old one day and didnt find the right one I look into the mirror and say: Well, I fought hard but fair. I tried. I could not do more.

    As for Bangkok, I find it more difficult to meet other fellas for partying together than meeting women. Just don’t like the average sex tourists here – or expats who still act like that. You can have talks in this blog you never have when going out in bkk. So if anyone is out for a beer or two tonite, send me pm.

  45. Monterosa: quite a few good observations there particularly the comment about being a Louis Vuiton bag with a cock and balls. Perhaps this highlights the superficiality of it all and how image conscious Thai ladies tend to be. A guy could be the worlds greatest asshole but if he’s dressed looking as though he’s rolling in cash the gold diggers will be sniffing around big time. Hardly surprising though as most women are programmed to find the best male provider they can sink their claws into lol. We are programmed to procreate (ejaculate) they are programmed to find food, clothing and shelter (money). The better looking (more attractive) ladies tend to have higher expectations in terms of what they can be provided with.

    This is why I agree with the theory that the lady you end up in a relationship with is actually the one that chooses you and not, as most guys mistakenly think, the one you choose. We end up being able to have our way with them because they make a conscious decision to allow us to. The trade off, of course, is that they are expecting something in return for allowing us access to their property (body). With bar girls (hookers) it is obviously cash but with a good girl the trade off is commitment to a long term provision of food, clothing and shelter. Regardless of their background, be they good girl or bar girl, all of them are looking to improve their lot in this world. That’s why things almost always get messy when a relationship finishes; both sides are losing something. Even more so for a Thai lady (or any woman for that matter) as they’re seeing their potential future being torn away from them.

    I’ve always maintained that, for a farang living in Thailand, unless you’re planning on having kids there’s no point getting into a relationship here, particularly with a lady from a good background, because their expectations are always long term and, more often than not, about marriage. Increasingly I’ve found that I’m quite happy being alone and taking advantage of the pay for pleasure offerings that are available in this fair land. I still get what I need but with out the commitment or emotional ups and downs of being in a relationship.

  46. I feel the same way. I’d rather have many beautiful Thai ladies and pay for it directly than have to put up with the emotional ups and downs of a relationship (being there, done that..and it costs money too!)… Plus, in Thailand, there is an endless supply of beauties…why the fuck should I be stuck with one girlfriend?
    No, I am never lonely, I have my guy friends to have a great time with when my ladies have gone to sleep…

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