I heard these terms from a Thai person several years ago and thought they were somewhat humorous. If you don’t know what they are they are basically a way to describe what Thai guys are into versus what Farang guys are into in terms of women.
According to this Thai theory, Thai guys are into tall, white skinned girls and Farang guys are into short, brown girls. On the surface it would appear to be true if you hang out in Thailand and see what Thais consider attractive and what you see Farangs married to.
All Thai advertising features very white skinned girls who almost look like farangs. In fact, many top models in Thailand are luk kreung (ลูกครึ่ง) which is basically half farang and half Thai. Tata Young, Paula Taylor, Sririata Jensen, and Sonia Couling are luk kreung. Girls who aren’t luk kreung who are also considered highly attractive according to Thais are the Thai-Chinese blend (Thainese) coming from families where the parents several generations ago migrated to Thailand from China and mixed with the local population.
On the other hand, if you take a walk around Bangkok or anywhere else in Thailand you will mostly see farangs arm in arm with your typical Isaan looking girl. Darker skin, short, and clearly Isaan facial features.
I think for farangs we appreciate the dark skin as being exotic where the Thais (and most Asians) think it signals lower class or status. In other words, I think we’re open minded about skin color and such since we see so much racial mixing in our own countries and we consider a brown tone to be a sign of health as pasty white often signals some sort of illness.
That being said, I question whether or not these Thai/Farang specs are entirely accurate. I’m sure there are some guys who specifically prefer the Isaan look but I think for the vast majority of Farang guys it’s more an issue of who we are likely to interact with.
Whether it be go-go dancers in Nana Plaza or the girl serving us dinner at a local restaurant around the corner from your condo, chances are you meet far more Isaan looking women than you do Thai spec women. So the women you are likely to ask out and date are far more likely to be supposed Farang Spec than Thai Spec.
You also have to look at the social dynamics at play as well. A Thai-Spec girl probably has guys falling all over themselves to ask her out. She is not only getting attention from Thais but from farangs as well. And if she’s very attractive and very Thai Spec she is getting attention from very well heeled men both farang and Thai. This means she probably won’t spend a long time being “available” and will get snapped up and married very quickly which further reduces the number of available Thai Spec women.
But an attractive Isaan woman is in a different class. First off, if she comes from a poor family then status conscious Thai men won’t seriously consider her for anything more than a casual fling. That means her pool of available men is other Thai guys of her own class or farangs who are not as class conscious. That puts a disproportionate number of attractive Farang-Spec women in the dating pool for farang men.
So, farang men can either battle it out in the competitive pool for Thai-Spec women or they can look for love in the less competitive Farang-Spec arena. I don’t think it’s preference in type so much as most men simply find it easier to meet and date a Farang-Spec women than it would be to meet and date a Thai-Spec girl.
But just like men have their debates about blonds versus brunettes or asses versus boobs, there are men who really do prefer the Farang-Spec looking girls. Everybody is going to have their biases and preferences so it’s difficult to say that the Farang Spec and Thai Spec distinction is a myth but I don’t think it’s anywhere as near universal as many Thais believe it is.
[Farang-Spec photo taken from JonathanFun.com]
This article is spot on. Its not that farang necessarily love dark-skinned girls, its that dark-skinned girls love us farang!
I remember a survey a few months ago that claimed that 60% of (mostly dark skinned) girls from Issan want to marry a foreigner. If that same survey was conducted among Bangkok Thai-Chinese girls, I’d guess the number would be under 5%.
There may also be the “human factor” here. this factor is, in my opinion, when in a social setting most humans would look for something different “looking” than exists in their society. White people see whites all day long, hence an attractive tanned lady is a refreshing change. The reverse is true too. In Pakistan, India and other asian, African and south American societies they look for the white skin as an interesting and exciting look.
Personally, I prefer Asian girls. I have had my share of blondes and brunettes and I am attracted to Asian babes more for their slim bodies and their cute faces. Color is not an issue at all for me. I look at people as individuals.
Finally, an article worth reading from Bangkok Diaries. Thanks for some interesting arguments and insights. The whole bar-girl duped farang posts are boring. This actually had some teeth. Well done!
I happen to like the Thai spec girls, precisely because they look more caucasian and I am a great fan of caucasian facial features, but you have to admit that real Thai spec girls – girls with slightly farang features or slightly chinese features – are an extreme rarity in Bangkok and form a tiny upper crust of hot women.
I honestly think very few – possibly even none – farang guys actually PREFER Asian girls. I think its just what many farang men tell themsleves. In truth, every farang guy would prefer a pretty farang girl.
The problem is that truly attractive women – the Thai-spec ones – are a tiny fraction of the female population in Thailand, thus their value in the mating field rises dramatically.
If you take one of these Thai-spec girls with the farang-Chinese features and put them in a city full of beautiful women, like Stockholm, say, which is full of petite, slender stunners with chiseled faces, they would hardly stand out an their value would plummet.
In Thailand, however, they are queens, and as such they have the pick of the rich and high status.
And thats really the crux of the matter – high status. Its what beautiful women go for. And no farang can compete with Thais in this area in their own society. And since there are really so few truly hot women in Thailand, they can really choose the highest status men in Thailand – which are, of course, Thais.
There is actually a surprising amount of interest or at least acceptance of farang guys amongst these Thai-spec women – but the ONLY way for a farang guy to really get at them is to have high-status Thai friends. Period. No other way. Having social proof in Thailand is key. If you have high-status Thai friends, youd be surprised at how many of these Tha-spec women will be very welcoming of you.
Of course, you also have to be a fairly attractive and desirable farang male yourself, and chances are, if you are that, then you are far more interested in pretty farang girls.
I myself, in my long sojourn in Thailand, have went through a period when I was well connected socially with some fairly high status guys – the Thai spec women loved me. Later in my Thailand life, I lost touch with these people and would go out alone or with other farang friends, it was insanely difficult – if not impossible – to get at this class of women.
Yes totally agree with OP, Spot on, once you have been here in Thailand all this becomes apparent as you learn the between the lines stuff.
Good post.
Good article,
I don’t have any preference for skin color or race, I can see beauty in all women, but I am slighty partial to the (Southern) Chinese look, who incidentally look a lot like Thai-Chinese girls. The prettiest light skinned girls in Thailand are sometimes just stunning – drop dead gorgeous – in my eyes, moreso than Isaan girls. Like the girls you see running around the Chula campus! It’s really hard to meet them though unless you have a ‘in’ like working together, mutual friends or study together.
@Jordan: I’ve had much different experiences. I don’t think you need to be well connected. But you do need to get out of Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza. That being said, you have to have something going for you as these types of girls get a lot of interest from both Thais as well as many farangs so chances are she’s not going to be swept off her feet if you’re rocking the cargo shorts and tank top look.
I dated a girl who was Thainese and she lived out way past On Nut and worked in Rangsit. She hardly ever met any farang. We were introduced via a friend of a friend. By the fourth date she was introducing me to all her friends (also Thainese) and asking for me to hook them up with farangs too. The girl I was seeing was very attractive and her friends were as attractive as her or even better looking.
To some degree there’s an element of humor in going out to a restaurant with a girl and two or three of her girlfriends and they’re all turning Thai heads and they’re all complaining about not being able to meet any farang men. They all live and work far from the normal places farangs hang out and they don’t venture down Sukhumvit or Silom. And even though they all spoke English pretty well (I was able to carry on a conversation with them) they all felt too self-conscious about their English skills to ever strike up a conversation with a farang if they met one so that’s why they were looking for a set-up.
I’ve had similar other experiences as well so that’s why I don’t think your perception is 100% true.
Very interesting article. My observation on public transport etc, is that a lot of the Farang Spec girls you find in the company of Farangs are very slutty looking.
It’s hard to say if they’re really a couple, or the girl is rented by the Farang for a period of time to provide him G/F experience while in Thailand.
These girls seem to have the obligatory tatoo,hot pants, and very obscene colour finger and toe nail polish.
Although I must admit most
Thai women groom themselves very well,and the Isaan girls are no exception, what I find unattractive about the Isaan type,is their feet.
Let’s face facts,not all feet were created to model sandles. I certainly would not find be turned on by splayed toes no matter how well pedicured.
On the other hand, most of the Thai Spec girls have lovely petite feet.
On all my travels throughout the world though, the prettiest petite feet I have ever seen, were on an Egyptian beauty at the Cairo airport.
@ZED: That’s so funny because pretty feet are very attractive to me. I don’t have a foot fetish. I don’t dream about women’s feet or want to suck on a woman’s toes or anything freaky like that but her feet can be a huge deal-breaker for me. She can have the perfect smile, great body, and everything else going on but if I look down and seem some seriously screwed up feet I can’t get past that.
What are you looking at on the BTS? Feet? Hilarious. I guess you’re allowed your fetishes and critiques, Zed. RAGs in Bangkok will still capture my heart no matter how “slutty” they look. It’s cute from a distance if you ask me. My attempts to dive into the Thai spec world of dating was met with mixed reactions. It’s definitely possible, but like several posts have mentioned, a certain thai base of friends and stability are helpful. Next time I’m there, whether on holiday or working, I’ll check out the feet more closely. Funny post.
@Ruai – However, you admit that you needed to be introduced to this Thainese girl, so its unclear what would have happened had you approached her without any kind of social proof.
Its possible youre right – I do think there are SOME of these Thai-spec girls who are approachable by nice looking farang even without any upper class Thai friends – but I would argue they are in an extreme minority.
For the most part, you really need some kind of social proof in a society as class-bound as Thailand to really get at the upper crust of women. The women need to be assured that you belong to the same social strata – or a higher one – than them. All women want and need that – women marry up. In the West, you are able to loudly and unequivocably demonstrate your class credentials – even though were supposed to be egalitarian and democratic so classes arent supposed to exist – through conversation, dress, job, behavior and speech patterns, etc. Its a whole sign language of class that is comprehensible only to members of a common culture.
In Thailand, a girl is much less able to *read* a farangs class in a clear and unambiguous way, so associating with upper class Thai men becomes much more crucial.
Some demonstrations of class are cross-cultural, like confident bearing, dress, grooming, etc – but overall, its much harder to demonstrate status in a foreign culture.
In my opinion, one of the great ironies of life in Thailand is that those farang who would have a shot at these women are the ones least likely to take an interest in them – i.e, sexually desirable farang men – those with status, confidence, wealth, and attractive masculine personality, are typically much more interested in hot farang women.
However, every now and then the stars align in such a way that a highly desirable farang male actually is interested in Thai girls, and its important to understand how to get at them.
@Jim. Why do you find the post funny? To answer your question, I look at the women from ‘head to toe”. Thats how I know Thai women are well groomed. I notice, their hair style, colour ,lustre etc. I also look at their butts, legs and breasts. I ,like you, have my preference on the what the shape and size of each of these attributes should be on the ideal woman.
I don’t have a foot fetish.
SMORE’S post tells me that I am not some wierdo. There are other like minded people out there.
@Zed. No problem. I just got this image of someone on the BTS checking out feet and making comparison/contrast notes. No problem. You don’t have a fetish. I was laughing at the image, not you. I really appreciated your post. You cover Thai-spec feet, farang-spec feet and top it off with Egyptian feet. Cool stuff. I have seen the splayed toes you mention, too. Yeah, can be too much at times. To me, there’s something oddly attractive about a farm girl clip-clopping around Bangkok in hot pants, a tramp stamp on her lower back and an easy cackle. Push comes to shove, I’m after that woman more than the office workers lined up on sois during lunch hour. Each has its benefits. Great post, Zed. No offense intended.
@Jordan: I’m not sure what you mean by upper-crust. Are you talking actresses? Models? Daughters of politicians? Hi-So girls running around in a 5 million baht car?
If you’re talking about that level then obviously that’s going to be more difficult. Just as it would be anywhere in the world.
If you’re simply talking about attractive, well educated, Thai-Spec women then I think there are two different types:
1. Regular gals who don’t go out much.
2. Girls who go out a lot.
The biggest difference in terms of social proof and such is that the second type has more men chasing them so they can be far more selective. That just stands to reason. I don’t think it’s necessarily about the things you discussed (though I’m sure it doesn’t hurt).
You see the same thing even with Farang-Spec girls who spend too much time around farangs. I’ve got a couple of friends who pretty much hang out exclusively with farang friends and go to farang venues so they get hit on a lot by farangs. They’re extremely selective about who they go out with.
Many women fitting the first description would love to meet a nice farang guy. You don’t have to have upper-crust contacts because many of them are not upper-crust. They’re just ordinary girls.
For instance, one girl that the girl I was dating asked me to set her up with someone. I asked what she was looking for and she basically just wanted to meet a guy taller than her (she was 5′ 8″), was nice, and not too old. I asked about money and she said it didn’t matter as long as he had a good job. I asked about preferences in hair color, where he was from, etc. and she said she might prefer an American or Brit but she didn’t really have a strong preference. She just wanted to meet a nice guy.
Now, that hardly sounds like these hard to get girls you describe. She simply lives and works out near Rangsit and never meets any farangs. She has friends who have farang boyfriends or husbands and rightly or wrongly assumes she can have a nice life and a good family if she can get a farang husband too.
@Jim. Thanks for the explanation. No offense taken.
RE: Farang spec and Thai spec girls that aspire to meet and marry a Farang gent, having supposed preference for Americans and Brits. Is it not possible that this so,because most of the Farangs (foreigners) they encounter in Thailand are Americans and Brits?
Maybe if they met more rich Russian, Japanese, Chinese,Arab, South American,
or well heeled men from other countries, they may develop a different preference.
If you ask most Eskimos in Greenland what their food preference was, I am pretty sure you wont get an answer like KFC or KAO PAD GAI, or Tandoori Chicken. Most people would say FISH or CARIBU cos thats what they know.
@ZED: I think some of it has to do with the prestige associated with those countries and the girl’s willingness to eventually relocate there. What do they know of western culture other than BBC, US movies, etc. Plus they learn a little English and so it seems natural over say France where she speaks zero French.
But you are right too . . . but maybe not the way you thought. From the ones I’ve spoken with, it tends to do with the fact that they have a relative married to a Brit or American and possibly even living in the US or UK so that is what they know.
I’ve seen the same thing with Germans and Swedes. They have a aunt who married a German and they want to meet a German. Or they have a sister who married a Swede and now they want to marry a Swede.
Ruai – I am not talking about hi-so types, in fact Im not talking about girls from any particular class at all. Im talking about women whose looks make it possible for them to marry into the Thai upper classes. In other words, Thai-spec women.
Such women are a tiny minority of Thai femalehood and whatever class these women are born into they quickly discover that their appearance is in high demand and that most Thai women are not able to supply that demand.
Believe me, such women know very well what their looks are WORTH – the fact that they may not go out much does not shield them from the realities of life. In Thailand a girls looks is often her only or best asset and the surest way to better her situation.
Such a girl might well be willing to marry a farang, but shed have to be sure that she isnt giving up her chance to marry a well connected rich Thai guy for an English teacher.
The sorts of girls you are talking about are probably attractive Issan types or even Thai-Chinese types that are not so very Thai-spec, and are thus not in such high demand – the girl whose picture you posted as an example of Thai-sepc is the type that will from an early age learn about the value of her looks whether she goes out or not, and will be almost impossible to get without some kind of social proof.
@Jordan: I know exactly what I’m talking about. I take your response to be highly insulting.
I know full-well that a Thai-Spec woman knows her worth. The last one I dated used to use the color of her skin to judge everyone around her. I used to get tired of her saying things like “I want you to meet my friend tomorrow night. She is not as white as me.”
I’m not a school teacher so perhaps I have a different perspective on this. I don’t feel the need to show social proof because I already have it. I live in a good neighborhood, dress nice, have a good job, have lots of friends, etc. I don’t need an image because that is my life.
I’ll admit that if I was making 30,000 baht per month things might be different but I don’t.
But, I think you seem to be so caught up in your PUA mentality that you have a hard time processing anything that doesn’t fit into your world view. What I’m conveying here is my personal experiences which run counter to your hypothetical statements. If you have personal experiences that differ then share them. But don’t keep coming here and telling me your theories on women based on what Mystery or Style taught you.
Your supposition that an average Thai-Spec girl has the option to marry a “well connected Thai guy” ignores several simple facts:
1. Well connected Thai guys are in even shorter supply than Thai-Spec women.
2. A well connected Thai guy will want a traditional Thai relationship complete with having girls on the side and his wife barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Many of these girls aren’t looking for that kind of relationship.
3. Some of these Thai-Spec girls specifically want to get out of Thailand. They ONLY want to meet farangs.
4. Some of these girls don’t live in central BKK. They live out in places like Rangsit, Bangna, Bangsu, etc. They meet very few farangs in their day to day life.
PUA? I don’t know what this has to do with that stuff.
Releax, I’m not trying to insult you. Welcome to the rough and tumble world of debate. I haven’t said anything personal about you which would be an insult, but I do claim you are probably committing a few mistakes of perception and deduction, wdhich is legitimate even if it isn’t the sort of laydlike back and forth you seem capable of emotionally handling. You put your ideas out there and I examine them for probable flaws as best I can, even with the gloves off – no big deal.
Look, you might think you know what you’re talking about, but I am free to doubt that, and say I doubt it.
Listing experience against expedrience is pointless because it amounts to just anecdotal evidence and can’t be verified anywyas, so what’s the point? I said at the outset that it is possible you met one of the tiny percentage of girls who for some mysterious reason seem to have been born without the usual female strategies for mate selection and who is somehow impervious to Thai cultural imperatives she is surrounded with, but you can’t deduce from that astrategy that is likely to be effective across the board. So it’s bad advice for others even if you got lucky.
Matching my anecdotes against yours won’t do at all. What we need is a clear model of female behavior and a clear explanation of how it applies in this case, rather than wishful thinking and floating about in a dreamy confusion, disconnected from the hard core realities – often harsh and unpretty – that drive how human beings judge each other and select each other.
As a farang, Thais cannot unambiguously percieve your status witht he confidence necessary for her to trade her supreme and most precious asset – in many cases literally her one ticket to success in life – her physical beauty without the fear of making a colossal and massive mistake. There is simply too much room for error. She knows trashy farang wash ashore in huge numbers in Thailand and who is she to decide you aren’t one of them? She doesn’t know enough about your culture to decide. Too risky. Setting that point aside, the mere fact that your appearance and mannerisms are so alien from hers makes it much harder to decide where you stand in the social hierarchy. Finally, there is massive social pressure on every Thai girl to conform to the expectations and norms of her class and society to the point of extreme paranoia about whether she is succesfully doing so, and
Truly beatuiful women are hard to get anywhere. As a foreigner in a truly different culture amongst a different ethnicty, the cards are stacked against you. Can you still do it? Of course you can. Without question. You just need to adopt a strategy based on the peculiarities of the status and calss system of the culture you are operating within – a crucial thing to realize – and you have learn to compensate for all the ways in which the cards are stacked against you in order to raise your status to where you become visible to the upper tier of women.
The difficulty and hassle of the task is why attractive men with high status and great sexual sucess almost never come to foreign cultures to search for mates. Such men are perfectly successfull at home and see little point in burdening themselves with the added challenge. It’s a disturbing and unpretty truth but female sexual attraction is at least in part, if not in large part, SITUATIONAL – in other words women are at least party attracted to a mans POSITION as much as to any personal quality he may being to the table. Most men react with extreme annoyancce to this truth, but it is nevertheless real and an important llimiting factor for a mans ability to score hot women.
The task for us men is to understand this and learn to do whatever we can to maniuplate this quirk of the female brain to our advantage, not dwell in a pleasant dream land where there are hordes of top-tier beauties just waiting and eager to throw away their chances with men of high position in their own society for a risky venture with men of unclear and unverifiable status who hail from foreign and unkown lands and who may or may not represent a disastrous squandering of the one asset these top-tier beauties have.
The world of reality doesn’t work this way. Just as it’s a fools game for high status men to search for women in a foreign society, so it is a fools game for a top-tier beauty to shakc up with a foreign guy who is an unkown quantity. If a guy still wants to do it, he can do it with success, but not by dreaming, but by adroitly handling the status levers. This means getting yourself some serious social proof and some good high status local friends. Going without that is a fools strategy, and if you indeed did get lucky, you’re remiss in advising others to a similar throw of the dice.
So you may believe all you wish, Ruai, but my advice is for those few guys who want to stack all the cards in their favour.
@Jordan
I like your reasoning.
Assumption that almost all Farang prefer Caucasian girls is completely wrong.
My 4 best friends *all* prefer Asian girls. This was in USA (west coast), not in Asia. Has nothing to do with availability, Asian-Americans are just as hard to get as white girls.
Your points about scarcity of beautiful women and importance of proving status for men is insightful and true in aggregate. However, it’s a bit like classical supply/demand curve model of economics — simple and elegant, but with limited predictive value in case of individual prices. In the real world, there’s often the “law of small numbers”, and variations are enormous.
Many, if not most, Thai girls, are rather shy, have no idea of their worth, as do not get hit on by any suitable men (either Thai or Farang), with regularity. When someone shows interest, they get very strongly attached. The problem is that these are not the girls that go out regularly and that we’re likely to chat up.
The girls who figure prominently in our experience may not be a representative sample.
Crododil – Thanks!
I understand your reasoning, and it has a certain compelling logic to it – bascially you’re agreeing with the idea that once a girl knows she has high worth her price goes up in her own mind dramatically, but lots of Thai girls grow up or live in conditions that shield them from a knowledge of their own worth on the dating market.
This is the great burning hope of many men, a truly beautiful girl who is ignorant of just how hot she is and what kind of man she can get. I hear the this a lot from white men about white girls too, and its obvious this idea has captured the male imagination, and its appeal to the male mind is equally clear-cut. I’d agree that such pink unicorns do actually exist, I’m just not convinced they exist in large enough numbers to make counting on finding such a rarity a sound strategy.
Call me sceptical. I think women are far more shrewd than we men give them credit for, and are much better guardians of their sexual self-interest than such a theory of widepsread female ignorance about their sexual worth would allow us to believe.
I also think that particularly in Thailand where realities are unforgiving – and ignoranace of your self-interes and true naivete are harshly punished by the realities of life – women are far less likely to grow up unaware of their assets and how to translate them into added opportunities in life.
If you try to imagine a scenario where a woman is left totally unaware of her sexual marketplace worth it isn’t enough to stipulate that she doesn’t go out enough and doesn’t get hit on by tons of guys. She also has to not watch TV, not be exposed to the many advertisements we see plastered literally everywhere, not listen to radio programs describing and extolling a certain look, not have any wise and canny mothers or female relatives to clue her in to the nature and value of her looks, live in a community where, mysteriously, there are no or few men who are admireres of her looks – in short, she has to grow up in crueso-like isolation or better yet, not grow up in Thailand at all. Perhaps some of the atolls in the Gulf of Siam contain such a woman, the sole survivor of a ship wreck from long ago and surviving on coconuts and crabs and dressed in palm leaf, but basing a strategy on this possibility is not perhaps the surest path to obtaining your objective.
Perhaps Rui and even you stumbled onto these fabled regions of Thailand containing stunningly beautiful women who by the mere fact of not going out much have been kept ignorant of their incredible worth on the dating market, but you can’t advise that to others. (Please excuse the heavy sarcasm, it’s in good fun and hardly meant maliciously)
As for white guys preferring Asian girls, yes, some do. Most dont. I’ve lived in California, I’ve lived in New York, and you have to admit the crown of achievement for young ambitious honry guys hunting after hot girls is a white girl. Tha’s the victory wreath for American men who are white. The guys who go for Asian girls are usually a particular “type”of guy who has chosen a playing field where his lesser talents can bring him victory. There is a slight stigma – not a serious one and more the kind giving rise to chuckles of amusement and nodding of heads knowingly than to sneers or looks of disgust – attached to white guys with Asian girls in America, and you have to admit this is true. The implication is that he couldn’t get a hot white girl and is the typical loser guy who is forced to find sunnier pastures far from where his true desires dwell. You never see handsom guys with obvious status and power, confident and forward, with Asian girls. It’s always a certain “type”.
But I hasten to add there are exceptions. Maybe your friends are guys who can get hot white girls but prefer Asian girls. Who knows? There are always exceptions to everything, but an oddity does not a rule make.
Oh, and I would dispute that Asian-American girls are hard to get – there have actually been studies on match.com and other such sites which show a strong Asian female preference for white guys. They showed the results by how much more or less a member of any race has to earn to compensate for the percieved sexual worth of his ethnicity – for Asian women, whites were preferred even when they made significantly less than Asian men. Interestingly, these studies show that white men had no marked preference for Asian women.
Every sexual landscape is different – in America, Asian chics dig white guys, who dont reciprocate the affection but lust after white girls. In Asia, white guys can still do well but have a much harder time of it because of their outsider status and lack of high positions. And so it goes in this merry world of ours.
@Jordan
Now you’re just generalizing. There are in fact plenty of very succesful guys with Asian women, but it’s only natural that you don’t hear about them in the US if they are living it up in Singapore, Hong Kong or Japan.
There’s also something else to this. Very successful guys as you call them, do have some kind of indirect pressure to date within the race. This is particularly so in countries like the US. It’s just kind of expected.
I always thought guys who were only interested in white girls were somewhat dull, not the smartest bunch, with a lot of preconceived notions about beatuy, mainly from the mainstream media (blondes, big tits). In fact, I would find it downright weird to be an expat in a foreign country and have no interest in the local women.
Ruai:
“@Jordan: I know exactly what I’m talking about. I take your response to be highly insulting.”
lol
Come on, grow some skin! Jordan is obviously an interesting gentleman!
@Jordan:
What I meant is that your constant pontification of whatever you’ve read in your latest PUA manual is insulting to me. I’ve read the same stuff and some of it is dead-on and some of it is radically out of whack in Thailand. Your regurgitation of it trying to wrap it up with a pompous flair is what’s insulting.
You have in this thread and in at least one other that comes to mind made these massively sweeping generalizations about entire races and cultures based on whatever you happen to think. When presented with evidence to the contrary you then attempt to bury it or write it off as anecdotal or even untrue.
Your entire supposition about white guys not being attracted to Asians is absurd. Like crocodilexp, my experience has been quite the opposite of what you describe (but, of course, that’s just anecdotal, your long-winded theory without any supporting evidence should suffice as evidence to the contrary). Hell, there’s even a site called “Stuff White People Like” and #11 is Asian women.
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/20/11-asian-girls/
And is it “certain types of guys” who go out with Asian women? Hmmmm . . .
Rupert Murdoch married to Wendi Deng
CBS head Leslie Moonves married to news anchor Julie Chen
Nicolas Cage married to Alice Kim (might have broken up – not sure)
George Soros married to Jennifer Chun
Brian Grazer was or is dating concert pianist Chau-Giang Thi Nguyen
Bruce Wasserstein married to Angela Chao
Venture Capitalist Vivi Nevo married to Chinese actress Ziyi Zhang (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Rush Hour 2, Memoirs of a Geisha)
So, your characterization that guys who go after Asians are losers or that there is a stigma associated with it does’t really ring true. I mean, what, Nicolas Cage can’t get a white woman?
There is however a stigma when any guy marries any woman half his age which is what a lot of guys end up doing when they come here. But that has nothing to do with the girl being Asian. As they say, correlation does not imply causation.
And unless you’re stupid rich like the guys above, you don’t find too many westernized (born and/or educated in the west) Asian women dating men twice their age.
That’s why this really isn’t a debate. Basically, all you’re doing is posting PUA theories. At least, I’m living it. I’ve dated these girls that supposedly I had to have all sorts of connections to even speak to.
I can understand the desire to avoid a battle of anecdotes but you’ve got to put on something better than rehashed pick up theory if you really want to have an intelligent conversation on the topic. I love how you call what I’m saying wishful thinking and then go on to admit that although I actually have experiences in this area, all you need is an understanding of women’s psychology.
Besides, a lot of what you say is a misapplication of the theories anyway. As I said in the last comment you’re not taking into consideration many extenuating factors.
For instance, I have at least a dozen female friends who used to really play the field. Not that they slept around a lot but they hung out in the farang world enough to know their value (as you put it) and would only date young, very handsome guys from within our group of friends. Their female friends would be giddy with excitement when the girl landed one of these “high-status” males and would nearly be planning her going away party for when the happy couple moved back to the US, UK, or Australia together. But then a funny thing happened on the way to the altar. This high-status male was getting so many women thrown at him that eventually he succumbed to the temptation and partook of the forbidden fruit. Particularly nasty when the fruit was that of one of her jealous friends.
Most of the girls went through at least three or so cycles of that before the adjusted their strategy. At least half of them are either married to or in a serious relationship with a guy at least 10 years older than they are. And I know several of them well enough to know that they are really, very, deeply happy. It’s not an act.
You’re correct about survival instinct and all but in their cases the girls figured taking a sure thing was better than continuing to gamble. A guy 10 years older, ready to settle down, was a much better bet (in their mind) than holding out for the high-status guy who wasn’t a playboy.
The model works but you need to adjust it for the fact that no matter how you slice it and dice it there are always more women than men in Thailand. Even if you take the top 20% in the looks department there aren’t enough guys of equal caliber to go around.
I mean, even if you just take a stupid statistic like percentage of Thai men making over 30,000 baht per month vs. percentage of farang men making over 30,000 baht per month farangs are going to win. So your foray into not being able to judge your status is somewhat fruitless since it’s easier to assume that a farang holds at least a minimum status level since the odds are tilted to his advantage.
You also make a false assumption that every attractive (why you keep trying to turn this into “stunning” I have no idea) Thai girl has a shot at a hi-status guy. More likely, because of the numbers, she approached by guys in her same socio-economic strata (or slightly higher). For instance, if she’s making 25,000 baht per month (a decent salary in Thailand) most likely she’s being approached by guys making 25,000 – 50,000 baht.
Hanging out with people who have money costs money. If she wants to take a shot at a hi-so Thai she has to go where hi-so Thais hang out and pay what hi-so Thais pay to hang out there. At best she can afford to take lottery shots at the big time and so will every other girl in her situation which makes the competition pretty fierce.
I also think you make an error in assuming that everyone (farang) here is a school teacher (no offense to school teachers). You didn’t say as much but your constant harping on needing to show social proof indicates that you think people don’t have it. I don’t want to say what I make but let’s just say I easily spend more than 50,000 baht a month in just entertainment. Back in the US I would be in the top 4% – 5% of wage earners.
I guess the funny part about being in Thailand is what I do for a living actually is somewhat high-status in the faring world but here the concept is so foreign that I just tell people I do marketing consulting.
And I have several friends over here that even by western standards make a lot of money. No, not expats on an expat package (I know some of them too) but guys who have their own businesses. Some of them even young and good looking.
And believe me, Thai women understand our mannerisms well enough to know the difference between a sexpat and a guy with money. We are not some alien life form. They watch our media. They see our advertising. Your views in this areas are laughable. Sure, it’s EASIER for them to classify other Thais but Thai girls are very adept at ranking farang men as well.
To sum it up, you’ve taken women’s psychology or PUA theory and tried to apply it to Thai women without making any sort of adjustments for Thai people. I think it shows you understand very little about Thai people and Thai culture.
I agree with you in the respect that going out with Thai-Spec women has more challenges than dating your average Farang-Spec girl but your psychoanalysis of the situation is so off that I can only assume that you know about Thailand from what you’ve read. You certainly don’t seem to have any real relationships with Thai people because if you did you would have a greater respect for the aspects of their culture that make them unique. And not just respect for those things, but an understanding of why they are. Your current and previous comments are devoid of that understanding.
Dude, all those guys who you listed who are dating Asians have one very common thing in common. They’re old. Old guys in the West can’t get hot young white girls no matter how rich they are. So they go Asian. Of course. I would too. I should say – I will, too. Besides, your list is still a tiny minotiry so it doesnt confute my point about the majority of guys who go after Asians being a certain “type”‘even if all the people you listed were young sexy studs. Which they arent. Stuff White People Like is well known to be about nerdy white people, by the way, to the point where SWPL has become an acronym for talking about a certain type of ultra-liberal nerdy white person all across the web.
Nothing wrong with Asian chics. We all like ém. But lets be realistic – we are in a minority of white guys and the simple truth is that most white guys who have what it takes to get top tier Asian beauties simply wont be interested. This is statistical fact, well reserached, as well as widely observed, as well as obvious from an understanding of sexual mechanics.
You and I, Ruai, and apparently coold-whatever, are exceptions. We’re cool white guys with options who dig Asian chics. Yay for us.
Unique Thai culture, eh? That baggy canvas tent under which we all store our cherished illusions about our life in Thailand which would crumble into a handful of dust if ever allowed to come near the real world.
Let me tell you something – there is no such thing as Thai culture. Doesn’t exist. Thai culture is an invention of farang ex-pats to explain away what they dont understand or what they wish not to see. If you want to understand anything about Thailand you must get rid of the notion that ever was or is such a chimerical thing as Thai culture, much less that it is unique – Good God. See, that’s where you go wrong right there, Ruai, you believe in the existence of Thai culture and other such airy fantasies.
Eh.
@Jack – you’re right, I’m generalizing. That’s my point. There might be many guys who are successfull who live it up with hot Asian chics, but they’re still a tiny minority. There are always exceptions.
I’ve lived in Asia for a decade, and let me tell you, boy is it a minority.
I like Asian chics too, Jack, and no one likes to think of themsleves as belonging to some kind of lesser demographic of men, no one likes to think their sexual choices are dictated by their limiations and failures, so we tell o oourselves consoling myths and search about for counter-examples, but deep down we all know the score. Guys who prefer Asian chics pretend it is they who did the preferring, but the preferences of at least two others groups of people were far more decisisve in shaping that reality; white chics, and Asian girls.
No one likes truth, that’s the problem. It’s like the old I-can’t-get-hot-Thai-chics-because-Thais-are-racist-not-because-I’m-a-loser meme you see floating around the Thai boards and is a particular favorite of Stickman. It’s bullshit, of course, but why painfully confront my own inadequacies when I can simply blame it all on my race? Its icing on the cake that I can wield this idea as a club to smash other farang down to my level by spreading it around that farang simply haven’t got a chance. After all, loserness would be lonely alone, and by God if I cant have it, then I will damn well do my best to see to it that you dont, either.
You see the psychology of it, Jack, the twists and turns. We will be healthier and better adjusted men if we man up to why we chase Asian girls. All sorts of tensions we’ve been living with will melt away, my friend.
@Jordan: Dude, you’re so delusional it is scary. You think Nick Cage can’t get a hot white chick? You do know Anna Nicole Smith and many like her regularly marry old dudes, don’t you? It’s not like millionaires have a problem finding hot white girls. The fact that they CHOSE to have an Asian girlfriend or wife completely destroys your, as usual, widely sweeping generalization that guys who can get white chicks don’t date asian women.
As far as your other comments about who chooses who . . . I’ve dated white women most of my adult life. Blonds, brunettes, latinos, caucasians, blacks, Asian, American, European . . . but I finally got to a point where I had to examine what it was I was looking for in a woman and in a relationship and lo and behold, it turned out that Asian women generally were my type. When I thought what type of woman I would like to marry and live the rest of my life with I reviewed all my past relationships and in the end I think I’m more compatible with Asian women.
Even physically, as long back as I can remember I’ve always been attracted to brunettes and olive skin tone. I would take a latino or asian woman over the hottest blond supermodel any day of the week. For me, a white woman is not the highest pinnacle of achievement. I’ve dated plenty of them over the years and if I wanted to be married to one I would have already done it. And this was before I had even dated an Asian woman before.
I could date farang women if I wanted. God knows there are tons of them here in Bangkok who are dying for attention. But I just don’t have any desire. I don’t see myself marrying a farang woman so dating them seems rather pointless and a waste of both our time.
It’s interesting how people give themselves away, but if you listen to someone long enough the truth about them emerges until you can see it fairly clearly. Often they utterly fail to grasp the revealing nature of the remarks that fall from their lips even as an entire psychological profile is revealed thereby, or a huge fact about their life they are in denial about or wish to keep secret is brought to light.
Luckily we have yours truly to explain what it all means.
You say there are tons of farang women in Thailand you could date if you chose to go farang. This means the farang chics found in Thailand are the types of white girls you are used to dating. This says much about you and supports everything I have said. By failing to note that farang chics in Thailand are almost uniformly the least attractive examples of the type, and suggesting they are datable and are no worse than what you date when you date farang, you have simply given yourself away and supported every point I was trying to make; guys who are forced to date less attractive farang chics – say, similar to the white girls typically found in BKK – have it much better if they go Asian. Q.E.D.
This whole issue is a side issue, though. I think most non-deluded people know the score on the Asian/farang thing.
The main issue is, if you want to nail upper-tier Thai beauties, which I am now pretty sure you haven’t done and have no clue how to do, and are merely involving yourself in one more delusion about the precise nature of what you take to be your Thai-spec beauty, one had best get oneself a group of high status male Thai friends to be seen with.
That’s my advice to all you gentlemen out there – but then any of you who had a chance probably knew that already, didn’t you.
@Jordan: No, as usual, you are too smart for your own good. What it means is that I live in Bangkok. If I preferred farang women, my potential dating pool would be geographically limited to farang women in Bangkok.
And what makes you think only unattractive females are in BKK? Again, one of your over-generalized, completely without support, pontifications that we’re supposed to blindly accept as fact simply because the words spewed forth from your keyboard.
See, the problem is when you make these generalizations and present them as if there are no exceptions, the moment someone is aware of an exception, they dismiss the rest of what you write. There are many attractive farang women in BKK. Granted, not in the same concentration in other places like say Los Angeles, New York, or London but BKK is hardly devoid of attractive farang women.
And my point was, that since they are very vocal in complaining about the fact that they don’t get much attention from farang men, I think a farang guy who was set on farang women would be highly successful here. I think that just stands to reason. A girl who gets hit on 10 times a day in London can be very selective. A farang girl living in BKK who gets approached by 1 or 2 guys a month would likely be far more appreciative of the interest.
Rather than discuss actual real-life incidents, you hide behind your supposedly profound knowledge of women’s psychology. You say that you don’t want to get into a war of anecdotes. That’s probably because you don’t have any.
Sorry, dude. You really have very little to contribute other than theory. Theory which you’ve failed to give anyone a reason to believe is based on any firsthand knowledge.
I mean, I’ve dated models, lawyers, and plenty of other supposedly high status Thai women. I have zero high status Thai male friends. I have plenty of high status farang friends. I know some high status Thai females I would consider to be friends.
In fact, one Thai girl I know from back in the US is ultra-hi-so. Her father owns a small business empire here in Thailand and sent her and her sister off to the US for university. Every time one of her hi-so friends back here in Thailand breaks up with their boyfriend she tried to hook me up.
But how can this be? According to you, you MUST have high status Thai male friends. My goodness, could it be that you don’t actually know everything?
Thai specs girl = egotistical, pretentious, high maintenance, whining, and physically insipid (frightened of the sun). Sorry, no thanks. Every time I walk through Paragon I have good laugh when I see those hi-so bitches parading around with their arms full of shopping bags and their noses in the air. Their so bloody full of themselves it’s pathetic. If a mouse ran in front of them they’d scream, no doubt, and look for a chair to jump up on. You’ll never see one of those Khun Yings, the type you see on Thai soapies with the bouffant hairdo and the long painted nails, chasing down a rodent with a broom. I mean, that’s what the hired help from Isaan is for, isn’t it? This whole thing about the white skin and the luxury lifestyle, you see on TV and in the various advertising media, is a joke because 95% of the population aren’t, or don’t live, like that. It’s only the city wankers of Bangkok who actually own all the film and media companies that keep pushing that stupid myth. I’ll stick with my Isaan girl, one that can snorkel, scuba dive and go jungle trekking with me and is, pound for pound, a lot stronger than a Thai specs girl. The Thai specs girls can have their shopping trips to Paragon, or Emporium, cocktails at Sirocco, and all the pretentious, scene to be seen events they go to in Bangkok. One other thing; Thai specs girl = weak. Also meaning, as a few of my friends have told me, dud shag.
@MEGA
I have no problem with your preference for the Isaan type, afterall thats Farang Spec right?
Why do you run down the Thai Spec girls? So what if they afraid of mice? Does that make her less appealing and desirable? If she has money,and self confidence,prefers the finer things in life,she is a loser?
Is it not possible perhaps that you feign disdain, for the (for you) unattainable?
A poor father will tell his kids that money cannot buy happiness. A losing school football coach tells his team, enjoyment is more important than winning.
You have to understand that in Asian societies, a fair skin is a sign of beauty. So those that have it consider themselves priviledged within that society. This also holds true in India. North Indians are of a lighter hue than their Southern sisters and they see themselves as superior.
In some African societies, tattooed skin,or facial scars (delibrately inflicted), are a mark of beauty. Those that have it,flaunt it, and those that don’t desire it.
You have to judge within the context of their culture.
As for some of your friends saying that Thai Spec girls are dud shags, I say yeah right! Keep telling yourself that if it helps to console you.
So you’re Indian, is that right. Well we all know about the cast system over there don’t we. You miss my point completely; those Thai spec types are mostly a bunch of pretentious wankers (city types) and if you pull them out of the confines of their privileged little world, they’re completely bloody useless. I have money but I choose not to associate with with the the Thai spec type because the type of activities (cave diving, surfing)I involve myself would be too demanding for people who prefer spend their free time drinking latte’s at Starbucks. Like I said, a bunch of privileged, pretentious wankers and yeah, they are dud shags.
I agree with Mega, but certainly understand your argument ZED.
It is all about preference, and similar interests. I dated a “Thai-spec” when I first moved here, and it was boring. No connection, or similar interests.
I’m from Texas were even our rich people are pretty simple.
I prefer a country girl because I am from the country. I also don’t attach my ego to her appearance. Many Farang drift towards “Thai-spec” as the feel in increases their “face”. It does, but hey if that’s what you want go for it.
I’ll take a girl who will ride a motorbike in the rain to take care of her man.
I just got back from Thailand a couple of days ago and I think this article is right for most parts of thailand not all.
In Bangkok and Pattaya I see that these basic rules do apply for the majority of people walking around exepct for the arab section in walking street next to the marine disco (a little to “gay” for my taste).
In Pucket you dont see these as much, the girls that like to mess with farang are both luk kreung and the Isaan looking girls but than again they are a bit more greedy and ready to work the field.
All in all the when the lights are off it looks the same to me.
@Chuck Wow.
You sir, understand my post unlike MEGA . It is obvious that different people have different preferences. If you from Texas, and like women in boots and cowboy hats, thats fine, but you cannot run down a New York city slicker and dismiss her as a “dud shag” just because she is not your type.
@ MEGA.
I am South African, not Indian.
With regards to the “caste system over there”, it has nothing to do with skin colour. It is a complex social hierachy. Even within castes, though, those with lighter skin feel more attactive and are more desirable to potential marriage partners.
Asian people in general want to look white as you can see there’re some whitening products out in Asia. The lighter the skin, the better looking they are. Authentic Thais are usually have tan skin to dark tan. They are mostly from Isaan and from the South and the central part of Thailand. Once Chinese immigranted to Thailand then Thais started looking a bit lighter. Thai-Chinese usually want their children to marry to Chinese so they can protect their wealth. They built their businesses and became very successful and then the high-so and low-so began. In the North, Thais look more like Chinese b/c it’s closer to China.
Girls from the north are well known for their beauty b/c they have very clear and fair skin. They are popular for Thai men and some farangs. Girls who are from the north are more marketable in the entertainment business in Thai market. Girls who work at night usually are more popular among Thai customers if they have light skin. You will see girls are from everywhere in BKK. I personally from Isaan but Thai people think I’m a bit Luk-Kreung even though both of my parents are Thai. I have many Indian friends and they view lighter skin as beauty. To me, they are all pretty-it’s just they way we look at things. I went to college with high-so kids and most of them are Thai-chinese. Some of them are spoiled and some are not. It’s not easy to find good quality Thai men. If they are from high-so families then they are Ma Ma Boy and still live with the parents etc.
Oh well. That’s why most of my friends are not married.
If you want to date hi-so girls in the West, you also need high status friends.
I still think it’s easier for me to score a hot white chick back home than the equivalent in Bangkok, simply because in my country I know the score and is not an outsider. In fact, I think the availability of Thai girls to most farang is pretty limited.
An Asian dating coach who calls himself ‘Dr. Asian Rake’ or something like that, had a very interesting article,it’s about China but it’s the same for Thailand. Go ahead and read it, it’s spot on imo.
“Is it Easier or Tougher for Foreign Guys in Asia?”
http://www.doctorasianrake.com/?p=114
Conclusion is that foreign guys have a slight edge over the locals when it comes to dating ‘average’ chicks, but a disadvantage when it comes to dating hi-so chicks.
@Jack: Unfortunately, I took the time to read through all of that backslapping and I tend to disagree with the guy’s conclusions. I mean, to say white guys have a worse chance because we’re hairy and we sweat and smell bad sounds a little like Dr. Asian Rake has a bit of an inferiority complex which he tries to make himself feel better about by overly generalizing about white people. If you read the entire post one might think the only people in the world that can ever get laid — anywhere — are Canadian Asians . . . which the good doctor just happens to be.
The truth of the matter is that there are some obstacles to dating high-status Thai girls. But it’s an obstacle, not dead end. That means you can get around it if you choose. If language is an obstacle you can learn the language. If high-status women don’t hang out in your local go-go bar you might actually need to start being seen in places where respectable women might frequent and/or start making friends with people who can connect you with high-status women (the two tend to go hand in hand).
I think the hardest thing about discussing this topic is so many of the men who live or come here aren’t high-status themselves so they either don’t think they can ever associate with high-status people or they choose not to even try. I am constantly amazed at the number of guys I meet who never venture beyond the expat/tourist areas.
But if you’re adventurous and don’t mind being out of your element sometimes it’s a lot easier. It’s really a matter of what your comfort level is.
Once you get past that, most of these “high status” girls aren’t that much different from any other Thai girl. Sure, they have more options available to them so you might have to have a little game but if you use the old 1 – 10 scale in terms of looks, I think it’s a lot easier to meet 9 and 10’s in Thailand than it is to meet a 9 or 10 back in farangland.
I think some of the people that think meeting high status women in Thailand is difficult are people who expect a woman’s panties to fall off just because they’re farang. Many of these guys are so used to dating easy women that as soon as they run into one that puts up any resistance or has any level of standards they think that it’s impossible. No, the fact that you don’t even own a suit or a pair of dress shoes couldn’t be the thing holding you back from dating high-status women, it must be because high-status women hate farangs. LOL
The one thing to keep in mind though is that many high-status women are also high-maintenance. Whether it be the fact they want wined and dined constantly or they expect you to put up with childish and/or moody behavior they can be a handful sometimes. Not all are like that but I’ve dated a few. One in particular sticks out because she told me when we first started going out that her last boyfriend broke up with her because she acted like an airhead. She loved acting the dumb girl. She prided herself in not knowing anything, forgetting things, and generally being all but helpless. It was cute for awhile but it became annoying very quickly.
Thanks for the credit and link 🙂 Great article.
Hello there,
Well, I was adoped from Thailand by Swedish parents, and apparently the orphanage staff went all happy because I had a pointy nose and white skin and light brown hair (now very dark brown) and brown eyeswhen I was younger, but anyway I’m not sure about my Thai-ethnical background bit I’m light skinned as my biological-mum was from northern Thailand, not sure about my biological dad though. Anyway, I’m brought up in Sweden and men go crazy over me, I’m very popular always have been so not sure if your statement about an Thai-woman in Sweden rings true, seeing as I’m Swedish but not ethnically Swedish. I swear I need a body-guard.
Nonsense about availabilty. I have ben attracted to a “certain look” as far as I can remember. For me, black hair, slim build, brown shin( in various shades). I now have considerably less hair, but when I did, it was blond/dirty blonde. My skin is typical Farang skin, I burn easily and it takes awhile for me to tan. My arss is as white as snow. I simplybelieve opposites attract. Natural laws lean this way. Inbreeding = weakness, whereas differnt genetic combinations = a stronger organism. Darker women were, and still are, highly attracted to me; this is natural law and makes perfect sense. Why do Japaneese guys, Italian and Mexican men go crazy over blondes… opposites.
This being said… of course men are men and enjoy the company of a beautiful or pretty woman of all shades and sizes and depending on his mood, etc. even a not so pretty women. Obviously, however, the first two are more preferred. But given the choice, (not taking into account many other important variables…. interaction, personality, chemistry, etc.) between two women of what he considers equal beauty, a man will instinctly an intially be drawn to “his type” or whatever more closely approximates his type.
As a farang, I never date blond women….. I simply am not attracted.. again all things equal, given the choice betwen a blond and a brown skinned beauty… my eye falls upon and desires the brown skinn beauty, every time.
Thus, Thailand.. I am simply not attracted , with the same carnal intensity, to a light skinned Thai women. Does not light my fire… Intial, sexual attraction is not a cerebal function, it is visceral and instinctive….
Same with my English husband. he’s always loved Lucy Lui and Rhianna etc. For myself, I’m dating farangs ´cos that’s what I’m used to being brought up in Europe and I’m even more of a farang then my luk kreung-friends, which is pretty funny.
I’d date a luk kreung-man, ´cos we have similiar upbringing and he could teach me about Thailand, but I’m married now lol.
There’s also a lot us adopted Asians who are more western in our behaviour and view-point.
@Annika: Not just adopted Thais. I know many Thais who have changed very markedly since moving out of Thailand. Many of them are very bitter at their homeland after seeing and experiencing real life in a western country.
I think its all about catching the fish most common in the pool you fish in. Many farangs here (Thailand) rarely get out of the bar scene and only meet bar girls and serving staff – as in any country such jobs attract the lower educated, pooer people. Many bars in Pattaya for examkple bring girls in from Isaan to work their bars (sometimes promising them completely different roles than they actually end up doing – but that’s a whole other story!) It stands to reason that farang frequenting these bars are more likely to hit it off with the friendly, chatty girl serving (etc) in the bar than a group of college girls sitting quietly with their friends in the corner (if they are in a farang type bar at all). Young Thais with better jobs/outlook still go out, but they tend to stay in groups and go to Thai bars – farang type bars have a reputation for drunks and old guys with wandering hand problems!
They also go to places more befitting their age: disco bars/clubs and karaoke bars.
Like someone above, I was introduced to my wife (15 years ago now). She was my Thai business partner’s wife’s neice (she actually was trying to pair me with her school friend, but I hit it off with her neice instead) – we have a 7 year age gap (we were both in our 20’s back then). She had never even been to a bar – ever. She had not had a boyfriend either as she was not supposed to have one until she was 21 (she was 20 when we met – I was 26 coming 27). She is quater Chinese (most Thai-Chinese have to go back many generations to reach a real Chinese person!) – her Father (a Naval officer) being half Chinese. She was privately educated and was undergoing teacher training. Thai Chinese tend to not be so submissive as Thai girls (or have the off-a-cliff quick temper either). She considers herself Thai – she didn’t even bother learning Mandarin. She was very fair skinned when we met – but has lost the ‘fear’ of the sun now, so is a nice golden brown colour.
I must disagree with the guy above who stated that all farang men would prefer a beautiful white woman over a Thai, but get what they can (to paraphrase) – I know many farang that live here (and in the west too) that are not geriatrics with teenage wives, but are the sort of guys that have no problems pulling in a bar in the west either – people do have preferences. Personally, I wasn’t looking for a wife (or even a GF) when I met my wife to be (even if my fireind had different ideas for me!) and I wasn’t here looking for a Thai girl – it just happened – and we are still happy, 13 years of marriage later (plus 2 years of courting – with chaperone!!!) and 2 kids later. We have alternated in our earnings – sometimes I was the bread winner, sometimes (as now actually) she is.
Turning off the Politically Correct filter,
“I think for farangs we appreciate the dark skin as being exotic where the Thais (and most Asians) think it signals lower class or status. In other words, I think we’re open minded about skin color and such since we see so much racial mixing in our own countries and we consider a brown tone to be a sign of health as pasty white often signals some sort of illness”
Translation of the above.
Most asians are very very driven by wealth and status to the extreme , they are almost xenophobic about the separation of the wealthy and the poor in their societies, westerners are not so dismissive or “racist” about people in general just because of their perceived social status.
It is very noticeable that if you are with a “dark” beautiful girl she will not recieve anything near the attention “ogling” from thai men that a “light” girl will, i have even had a thai girl who had a black BF show me his picture and ask me what i thought , now this guy was a real handsome mother$%*&er and well built too, but she was very doubtfull of this when i told her what i thought, she was raised to believe that “white ” was the attractive skin tone.
Oh well its good for me as i am from the UK and very pale skinned ….YAY.
Thai guys are do like tall, white skinned girls, but also like short, brown girls.
We Thai guys prefer beautifull Thai girls, doesn’t matter if they’re white or brown.
Well said ThaiLove, after all that matters is beauty in eye of beholder and we all know that very well here in Thailand.
Ruai’s postings just scream beta male, gross.
I have heard by many thai people that they dont like so much brown skin, it is a fact
about thai men who like farangs tall women and also like thai girls, i think it is funny, because very very few farangs woman would like to have sex with thai men, usually thai men look very much femminine and some look very very ugly….besides, can you imagine a tall blond or brunette farang woman with small thsi boy?
how can such small cock satisfy some farangs women who need crazy wild sex, they would crush thai boy like spaghetti…hahaha would be really funny to see what happens
The hateful message that light skinned Thai girls are attractive and dark skinned ones are not is carried to such an extreme in Thailand that many beautiful dark skinned Thai girls (and boys) really think they are ugly when they are not.
I’m talking far from the bar scene, I teach at a Thai school and don’t know how many times in the 5 years I’ve been there, I’ve heard 9-10 or 11 year olds talk sadly about how ugly they are because their skin is brown or tell me they wish they had my pink skin. Finally for a culture project (combined with an English lesson) I put together a handout with some of the more beautiful dark skinned American actresses, like Halle Berry, showed them pictures of tanning booths and American women laying in the sun trying to get darker, ads for suntan lotions, and ads for makeup and dyes to give American woman or men a tanned look, and I really tried to impress on them what a lie the message from Thai television was. One of the Thai women teachers helped me by explaining it all to them in Thai. I really hope it did some good to help some of their self esteem.