On being a Western woman in Thailand

It is not always easy being a Western woman in Thailand, I know: I’ve been here for over 10 years. On this Bangkok Diaries website alone, the amount of slander and hate-talk directed at Western women is a good representation of the larger anti-Western women dynamics in the country. In addition, I have seen innumerable Western women being broken as their relationship and family tears apart. It is a fact that very few Western couples can survive several years in the Land of Smiles.

Upon arriving in Thailand, many Western men become like small boys in a candy shop, realizing they can afford all the prettiest sweets on the shelf. Oh the excitement of it all! And the predictable happens. Husband is walking along the Bangkok streets, perhaps after an argument with his wife, perhaps not. Chances are he will rapidly cross paths with a gogo bar, or a smiling Thai girl who will apply all her charm to seduce him. Many Thai girls know what they are doing in this area. Indeed, they can even make an obese Farang believe that he looked like the ideal hybrid of Brad Pitt and Robbie Williams as he blared out “My Way” on the karaoke. If the said Farang has sufficiently low self-awareness and sufficiently inflated ego, and a few drinks in him, it will work every time!

Generally speaking, Thai women are trained to always look pretty, talk softly and relentlessly work on their ‘Wife Curriculum Vitae’ from birth. This includes demonstrating your ability to artfully arrange cookies on the platter, and to spoon-feed living creatures of any age. From an early age, many Thai women are made to believe that their beauty is their biggest asset for reaching success, as my years teaching kindergarten in Bangkok have led me to notice. In brief, Thai women receive a very different education than that of your average modern Western woman.

Western women, growing up after the feminist revolution, have been taught that they need to be strong and tough to reach success. We have learned to play in the boys’ court and by the boys’ rules. We have proven that we can also play the ‘Competition for Power’ game including in the political and economic arenas. And Western feminist courage and thought have in fact benefited men and women the world over. The International Convention on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women has allowed for the increased protection of Thai women in their homes, workplaces, and public arena since 1985.

The point is: Western women have much to be proud of, and they mustn’t apologize for who they are. In Thailand, a Western woman will be made to feel worthless and small. Maybe her ‘Wife CV’ isn’t as good her Thai neighbour’s is. Maybe, after giving birth to 2-3 children, her waistline will be more like her husband’s than a young Thai lady’s. Farang men will constantly denigrate us as arrogant, bitchy, ugly, worthless human beings. Such Farang men clearly have major issues: a sense of entitlement (to sex and dinner, for example), a heightened sense of self-worth (“I am better than my ugly wife”), and a loathing for Western women. Generally, this is accompanied by despise for Thai men, something shared by their Thai wife (“I am better than Thai men”).

In the face of such hate, I sometimes feel so sad, scared, almost crazy. But, there is no need to despair! Western women in Thailand can find a great deal of compassion and companionship from each other. Thai men also have something to offer. Most young Western women have experienced being pursued, if not stalked, by Thai men. A Thai boyfriend will take care of you in a very different way to Western men. Thais have a lot of qualities to offer, such as a devotion to their parents and families, which is too often lacking in Western men. A successful relationship between a Western woman and Thai man is possible: I know of one that has lasted for over 30 years.

Western women and Thai women have a lot to learn from each other. Beyond learning to cook Tom Ka Gai, your Thai female neighbour can probably teach you a lot about taking it easy *jai yen*, or the importance of regular selfless acts *kreng jai*. Upon request, many Western women like me can also give crash-courses on how to be strong, arrogant and bitchy: necessary traits for any woman wanting to make it to top in a man’s world – think Nancy Pelosi, Empress Wu Zetian, Queen Victoria, Margaret Thatcher or Gloria Arroyo. The right to vote, the right to contraception and abortion, weren’t won by sweet-lipped women.

Times are changing: increasingly, Asian women are joining in the quest for gender equality. Thai women’s opportunities will continue to broaden, and they will no longer be as inclined to prostitute themselves, or accept balding Farangs as the most desirable husband. Whether such Farang-Thai partnerships are ‘bad’ or ‘good’ is not my concern. But my 10 years in Thailand have shown that many Farang men will ultimately be disappointed by their Thai partner. Farang men will whine and bitch about ‘how difficult it is to have an interesting conversation with her’, ‘she’s not as docile as I thought’, etc. These Farangs will often end up estranged or despised by their own children and extended family back in their country. In Thailand, a Western woman may lose her husband. But we keep our children’s love and respect. So let’s not lose our self-confidence and compassion. Our ex-husbands may need some in the future.

115 thoughts on “On being a Western woman in Thailand”

  1. @Sara: How is that any different from where I lived back in the US and women popped out a baby and then you see them jogging down the street with a jogging stroller?

    I’m not really sure I see the point. Are you saying Thai women have more of a chance to get their figure back because their rich farang husbands pay for nannies? I’m not sure which farangs you hang out with but most of the guys I know who have Thai wives and children live on pretty standard budgets. Nothing to the point where she can just leave everything up to a nanny while she sheds the pounds.

  2. @ Britinbangkok, Ruai
    Nice to have u join the conversation, Britinbangkok. However u are wrong to think that I dont like Thailand. I would be long gone if that were the case. Ruai got it right: it’s more like I need to bury my true personality here. For example, this weekend I went to a rural village, where the fiancee of one of my farang friends lives. Her family welcomed us so warmly. The women cooked, I offered to help chop cucumbers or whatev, but I was chased out, so I went to have some rice alcohol with the men. After, we started eating, but only the men and I: the Thai women sat in the corner with the children. This of course made me uncomfortable. I had a second glass of alcohol, while the men began lighting their cigarette, I didn’t dare to light one myself, for fear of how that would make me look (I’m a regular smoker but I usually hide it when in Thailand). So you see, it’s not that I don’t like Thailand. The point is, for a Farang woman, it can be hard to find your place.
    Of course, going to nightclub with hi-so Thai girls is totally different, it’s easier to fit in. I can be more like myself. But the nightclubs and the hi-so are not what I like best in Thailand. I’d rather be in the countryside, where traditional values hold strong.

  3. @Britinbangkok: Thanks for commenting because this is one of my biggest pet peeves. It’s all of these stereotypes that many disgruntled farang women throw around. Whether it be about what pathetic losers us farang men are or how docile and subservient Thai women are.

    Hey, I don’t begrudge any farang woman I see with a Thai dude. I say more power to her. I don’t snicker or raise an eyebrow when some girl tells me she’s going to Gambia or the DR on holiday. More power to her.

    I just don’t see why it irks some farang women so much. Not just he ones living here but even back home. What guy hasn’t gotten a snotty look when he says he’s going to Thailand on holiday?

    I really feel for women who don’t have any Thai friends here in Thailand. It must be very hard on them. At least as men women are seeking out our company (not always in a sexual manner). I have lots of female Thai friends. So, you learn to understand their perspective on many things.

    But if you don’t have many Thai friends then I’m sure you feel like an outsider looking in. You see things but don’t really understand them. Or you do understand them but through your own cultural filters that give you a distorted perspective of what’s actually happening.

    But labeling people, stereotyping them, and feeling hostile towards 98% of the people around you doesn’t really seem like an effective remedy.

  4. @BKK Blue: I don’t really get why you feel you need to bury your true self. Why not light a cig? You’re making the same mistake as a lot of guys make which is you assume that you’ll be accepted as Thai if you follow their culture. You’ll never be Thai. They’ll never look at you as a Thai even if you speak fluent Thai, live in an Issan hut, plant rice, have a Thai husband, and crank out 10 Thai kids. You’ll still be farang.

    So, be a farang. Don’t disrespect their culture but having a cig isn’t going to get you kicked out of the house. I don’t get out to the northeast much but I have spent an evening here or there with Thais in some pretty ghetto parts of Bangkok. And I have no problem hanging out in that environment even though I barely understand what’s going on around me. I don’t try to be Thai. Sure, I make sure I wai everyone appropriately and such but I don’t try to “fit in.” It’s not like anybody is going to say “Oh shit, I almost forgot he was a farang.”

    I’ll always be a farang in their eyes. And so that provides me a little latitude in doing things that they wouldn’t.

    There’s a huge difference between respecting their culture (which is all they ask) and trying to act like them (which they don’t ask of you). Thai women go out with me because I’m not Thai. I don’t act like a Thai. They value parts of my western culture and have chosen to date farangs because that is what they want in a partner. To turn around and try to be exactly what they don’t want seems rather counterproductive.

  5. Ruai, I’m really appreciating this exchange with you.
    But I do want to fit in!! I’m not here just to “be a Farang”. I know I’ll never be considered Thai, fine… it’s not what I dream of either. But I’ve put a lot of effort into learning the language, the culture, the cooking, the religion, the politics. Though lighting a cigarette would not get me kicked out of the village, it could potentially make me look like a careless, dirty, irresponsible and worthless person, especially because I am a woman, don’t you think? But really, the cigarette is a small symbolic example, not such a big deal – and I should quit anyway 😉 .

  6. I actually think that you did the respectful thing by not taking a smoke. I believe the women there gave you more credit for that. You can smoke later, no problem.

    I also agree, from my limited knowledge of Thai culture (which will take YEARS to figure out), that Thais will never think of a Farang as Thai no matter what. A farang friend of mine in BKK has a son from a thai lady, and the son gets treated differently by thais, read better, than his full thai friends.

    A farang woman living in Thailand takes a lot of guts. They are faced with a society that is quite the opposite of their original western culture, I do not have a clue why they would choose to live here. May be some one can chime in on why?

  7. Just read an article in what is considered to be one of the best modern rags in the US: Oprah issue April 2010. Heading:

    Building a better husband…

    Picture: shows a man in his underware and t shirt coming out of a full size cardboard box with foam peanuts all over the floor. Meaning: Women (since this is a woman mag) can shape and mold their husbands/BF as they need fit. Any one with an IQ of over 89.99 will get the messege that a woman can “mold” her husband/BF.

    NOW; to be clear, if you read the article it talks about “partners” who can help each other to become who they want to be. nevertheless, the hidden messege is there..

    I almost can see the riots in Washington DC if that same article had, Buddha forgive me, a woman instead of a man coming out of the same box being molded by a man!!!

    My point: Oprah is actually not too bad of a magazine, and as such I expected it to be more neutral, but as usual the constant attack on the core of the male in the US and the rest of the western world continues. Other magz are much worse and they attck men in so many ways it would take me days to write..

    Look at “most” of the comercials ads and movies, they make the man the idiot who is always breaking things, does not know anything and can’t hold his own baby in his hands (home improvement series, remmeber?)

    When is denial about the true value of men going to stop? I suspect never, and it will only get worse. I do, however, believe that a lot of the blame should be aimed at the western man today. He is letting all this BS happen to him and he is not fighting back because he’d rather have bad sex once a month than no sex at all…..

  8. Interesting post, but slightly counterproductive in that your personal decisions somewhat back up the attitude against western women she you fighting against.

    I don’t see why you recommend that any woman necessarily become “bitchy” at any time. Just like I don’t believe a man should become a jerk at anytime. Fighting and standing up for oneself is one thing. Cultivating (and seeking to cultivate) a negative attitude in others is something different.

    It is also painfully ironic that you suggest that bald/balding men were something Thai women or all women should avoid. Men who go bald do not choose to do so. Western women who do not exercise the recommended 3-5 times a week DO choose to do so. It is a man’s biological nature to be attracted to women who are in shape. Is it any wonder that men with overweight Western wives are incredibly interested in attractive Asian women? Having a baby is one thing. Saying “I don’t do gyms” is another.

  9. @Mando: I totally agree with you. There is an issue with representation of men in many Western ads: after the dumb blonde obsession, here comes the idiot guy who has no idea how to fry an egg!! It’s over the top, for sure ( as are the “how to make your bf/gf into the perfect mate” series) … glad smart men like you are speaking up about it.

    @Trett: granted, I’m not a totally consistent person and have many contradictory thoughts/feelings at the same time. About being a bitch, I’m not saying women SHOULD be bitches. I’m saying that it can be a handy skill to BE ABLE to be a bitch. It can be handy when you’re being talked down to, stepped on, or groped, or whatev (by a man or woman, thai or farang). Besides, it’s one of the rare skills that I have + can share 🙂 !! So you might think “my thai gf is too sweet and pure to be interested in making bitchy comments to those who belittle her”, well fine. But some less-than-perfect people out there, like me, whose hearts are not pristine heavens of kindness, do not turn the other cheek.
    Finally: yes, many balding farangs are more attracted to thin asians than to obsese farangs… thanks for the reminder, Captain obvious. I do live in Thailand, you know.

  10. @BKK Blue don’t you mean assertive? Bitchy is aggressive,meanness. Yes I agree that many western women are just mean! There is a difference between self defense by assertive mannerly behavior and just mean retort!
    I remember an old movie called Hardbodies where older men who had worked hard to achieve success were belittled by the attractive women on the Santa Monica beach/Pier until they took lessons from a local womanizer.
    For a romantic template of assertive Womanhood the Korean drama, Bichunmoo
    http://so.tudou.com/isearch/Bichunmoo/cid__time__sort_score_display_album_high_0_page_2
    There is a line spoken by one of the characters to the hero “What women really love isn’t the man. But rather his power and wealth. So pitiful you have neither.”
    That is the crux of this discussion. Western men in Thailand who at home are seen as pitiful. When they come here they are perceived differently. Western women in Thailand do seem to take exception to this bitterly.
    Take a read on what a women’s column says about “nice guys”: http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml
    No wonder men are bowled over by Thai Women!!

  11. Fantastic!!!

    You show those men how wrong they are for wanting an affectionate, soft, pleasant, adoring woman. That’s so selfish of them.

    They should want a tough woman. Perfect. I want a man’s personality inside female skin. Yah, that’s normal.

    Woman all over should be as nasty, disrespectful, and growling as possible. Grab that power. Abort that baby. Men are our equals!!!!

  12. I am not smart, “I just say it as I see it” :)…

    I find it very ironic that today, most women are doing to men what they hated about what men did to them years ago…It forces me to believe that most women are behaving as if “two wrongs make a right” 🙁

    I do not agree with what most men did to women in the past when they dumped them for a younger one destroying their families AND destroying the Well fare system in the process…..

    Are we better off today? NO for sure. The divorce rate in southern California is claimed to be in the 80% and it is about 65% US wide!!!! Most children are with single moms….So much for women’s lib….

    but let’s be real about fat baldy men. No one in their right mind will say that they are as cute as the Bradd Pitts of the world!!! so, how can any one blame those Fat men when they go to BKK and enjoy ther dreams?
    Also, no one will say that a fat woman is any where near as sexual as a little thin sexy 20 year old Thai lady…Deal with it.

    Men are ” visual”, read SEXUAL and Physical (do not continue to read if you do not agree 🙂 ). any healthy man of any adult age, upon seeing a beautiful woman will think of sexing her instantly….Then he “may” think about anything else that is worth looking into…The ” SEX” content is always there between a man and a beautiful woman..

    On the other hand, most women are responsive to “sound” and will look at a man in terms of ” can he take care of me” the instant they see him, “THEN” they may look at his other attributes…

    Again, this is known to be the general and the more primitive initials reactions to each sex. Social rules, ethics and regulations “forces” the brain of men and the emotions of women to think diffirently than what is mentioned above. For example: when a man meets a beautiful woman, he will think of sex for a split second, then his western social programming will force him to change his thinking about sex and pretend it is not there as he tries to find something else to look at in this beautiful woman…

    Most women like to live in a “denial state” for most of their adult lives. And most men will live their lives trying to sex (fu..) every beautiful woman they set their eyes on while starting and stopping idiotic wars in this globe!!!!

    Just enjoy life as you see fit 🙂 🙂

  13. @Rio
    “What women really love isn’t the man. But rather his power and wealth. So pitiful you have neither.”
    It’s time you wake up to the 21rst century, man. If you’re talking about young Western women, they tend to have more wealth than young Western men.
    http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/03/nyregion/03women.html
    That stuff about choosing a guy who will buy you the jewels that you can’t afford is out-the-window for Western women under 35. I choose a guy according to his sense of humour and brains, and I do “love the man”, even though most of my boyfriends have earned way less than myself. So indeed, a farang with flab, a high sense of entitlement and 5000 dollars has better chances of seeming attractive to a Thai woman. For someone in my position, the Thai man with a highly toned body and pleasant attitude, is a way better deal. I know what you guys are saying. Women are also visual and sexual beings too, Mando. And they’re just as selfish as men are.
    Finally: if you think Western women are just mean, my guess is you have no clue how to handle them. I’ve seen poor Western guys transform some of my bitchiest friends, high-earning Western women, into sweet pets who bake cookies and plan&pay for a weekend in Hawaii. If you don’t know how to handle a Western woman like that, you definitely made the smart choice, coming to Thailand.

  14. @BKK I live in the real world. I can say the you did not watch the program. perhaps you cannot get it there. The woman is as modern as they get. I am busy with preparations to live on a trip this fall to Asia(business/pleasure). I am not bothering with anything else. Thailand looks good to get my body in shape at one of the great but affordable hospitals there.
    How do you know I don’t know how to handle Western Women? That is what we men are talking about the put down. It was unnecessary. You could have asked a question instead. Of course I am not up for a part in “Taming of the Shrew”
    Now for a male in my position I too like a well toned female body and no sense of entitlement. Too many western women think that they sit on gold.
    Yes, social skills are important every where. An ugly man with great social skills will outshine a handsome man who is without.
    AS for the bard and the above mentioned play:”
    Act 4, Sc. 5, Lines 14-17

    10) “Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
    Thy head, thy sovereign, one that cares for thee,
    And for thy maintence commits his body
    To painful labor both by sea and land,
    To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
    Whilst though liest warm at home, secure and safe,
    And craves no other tribute at thy hands
    But love, fair looks, and true obedience-
    Too little payment for so great a debt.
    Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
    Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
    And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
    And not obedient to his honest will,
    What is she but a foul contending rebel
    And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
    I am ashamed that women are so simple
    To offer war where they should kneel for peace,
    Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway
    When they are bound to serve, love, and obey

  15. The article fromt the NYT is very specific about a group of women in NYC, not nation wide. So it is a unique case. Mind you, I think women and men should be paid the exact same wages AS LONG AS ONE DOES THE JOB HE/SHE IS PAID FOR!! I fully believe in equal pay AND equal responsibility/duty.

    OK, so the comment was made that ” Women are also visual and sexual beings too, Mando. And they’re just as selfish as men are.” if that is the case, then logic dictates that there is nothing wrong with men seeking beautiful women, anywhere they happen to live, and men can be selfish about it (the same applies for women IMHO). I always have said that women, generally speaking, behave like men do, they just deny it to themselves and to others and that is where the confusion begins…I am glad that you agree that both sexes are just as bad or just as good towards each other, depends on how you look at it 🙂

  16. @Rio
    I didn’t mean to offend you, truly, sorry if I did. I watched part of the Bichunmoo episode, and would agree that women aren’t portrayed too badly. I don’t get the point you’re driving at with that poem/play, though??
    About Nice Guys, I don’t agree with the Heartless Bitches . I like a nice guy with attitude, i.e. someone basically kind who’ll call me out on my shit (nearly a full-time job for my current bf 😉 ) . Anyway, my belief is that most guys out there who are complaining “i’m such a nice guy, i can’t believe she won’t let me fuck her”, are not really nice guys. It’s kind of like that gym shooter (the American who shot dead 3 women in a gym in Pittsburgh last year), well he said he didn’t understand his dating problems because he’s such a “nice guy”… well it turns out, he’s NOT a nice guy, but in fact a total psychopath, and my guess is that the women he hit on could sense something weird in him. Maybe something like a sense of entitlement 😉 ? (=if i’m a nice guy, i’m entitled to sex).
    @mando: glad we could find so much common ground.!

  17. @BKK
    Hi The lines are from the “Taming of the Shrew”. It maybe habit to go for a quick quip. Unfortunately the average male is not interested in “drama” or calling someone out on “their shit”. It is so much appealing to be liked and lusted after; made to feel comfortable ,relaxed, aroused by an attractive woman.

  18. I guess all that working out and eating right to stay sexy looking to women was just a waste of time huh? Naah I like being in shape. But I do agree with the fact that there has been a systematic pussification of the Western man over the last decade or two.

    1-They want you to be gentile, but what if you and your gentile metrisexual mate encounter across a mugger?
    2-They want you to be soft but not if you are the fireman that rescues them from th burning apartment (that they also have posters of in thier cubicle).
    3-Equal pay is cool in my book for most jobs, but if I’m in a burning building, I want the guy that can carry my 6ft1 230 pound ass out of there on his back not the chick who has pms and back weakness that day.
    4-An I never even want to imagine pulling something the size of a Christmas turkey out of my arse or any other orifice that size.
    We are designed for different tasks.

    Men have become such wimps in the US that I was called a brute on Hollywood blvd because I didn’t want to be some pink shirt wearing dude’s ‘bear’. On the flup side of that, the neighborhood I grew up in had a slew of muggings, all of the older women except my Mom. Guess why? Her son is a Brute. And my kid brother is even taller than me now. You need real men in the west. Towers went down, they called real MEN. You liberated women who make big money go to the club on the prowl, you look for REAL MEN. So why does every sytematic trend call for puss boys?

    We have been beaten into submission for so long here, we loose our wit a bit when we enter a place like Thailand with a bunch of dolls that tell us thek it is ok to be MEN. In the US we have to:
    1- pick you up at 7 sharp in the BMW
    2-take you somewhere nice
    3- have good conversation
    4- stop hanging out with our friends because you don’t like them
    5- like your friends
    6-constantly stroke your ego
    7- the whole effing list of wants (you know)
    In return we get nagged, belittled, emotionally neutered and cheated on with foreign men from Italy, Jamaica or some Spanish speaking land or rich assholes (who you seem to love for some reason).

    Sending one of these poor deprived, manhood supressed shadows of thier potential selves to Thailand is like lighting a bomb. It’s like letting a caged tiger loose that was born to be wild but just didn’t know how. He will pounce on EVERYTHING that moves and cares less than a damn whose cattle are off limits. Treat a man like a MAN. We are being s of simple desires. the 4S rule applies:
    1-SEX: however we like and as much as we can handle (empty sack cannot give gifts to another kitty)
    2-Sandwiches/steaks/sautee (whatever he likes to eat)
    3-Silence (especially if HIS team is playing) when he is busy with something that is ‘his’: Hobby, magazine, video game (PS3 will keep him at home and not with other Kitty)
    4-Stroke his ego. If you make YOUR man feel like a MAN. He will be YOUR MAN because of the way you make him feel.
    5-Be a woman in the street but a WHORE in the sack (yeah I said it).
    6-You feel yourself getting round? 30 minutes of PE can change all that.

    If he is getting his fill of this at home falling for a Tahi or any other woman would be harder for him to do. He would stray and say to himself,”WTF is all the fuss? I get that at home.” An even better trick is to watch a dirty movie with Asian women in it. Dress up like the prettiest/sexiest one in the whole effin movie, become her for the night, send the kids to Mums house and give him the soapy fishbowl treatment (look it up or ask someone if you need to). Do some role play when he gets home by saying, “Hey handsome man, you work hard today? let me give you a good massage.” Make him fell wanted and sexy. It may surprise you how much fun it is for YOU. New and exciting fantasy play can make an old marriage feel like BRAND NEW (hell I have been known to dress up as a Cowboy or forget to take off the hardhat and boots after work on several occasions myself. “You called about some plumbing problems Maam?” lol).

    Life is a grand illusion and the more fun it is, the better off we’ll all be. Learn from these Thai women and share some of your knowledge with them. You’ll thank me for this information if you’re smart enough to use it.

    JJ

  19. It’s weird that with so many guys on this website who are so uninterested in farang women, this post still got 69 comments so far. hahah! Anyway, I’m leaving this conversation because there’s nothing left to say. You guys can go on being nasty and hateful to each other, you do it so well on this website.
    Rio, you want a woman to make you feel comfortable and aroused, well it sounds like you need a whore-cum-mother-cum-servant girl, I’m sure you’ll find her. I’m interested in real partnerships, I guess that’s more than you can deal with, if you even k now what it means.
    Jay, wow, that puss boy theory is soooo smart. You smart man AND sexy man!! Why don’t you take your advice to Oprah since it’s so good. Or else you can shove it you know where. Sure you’ll also find an assistant to help you in that delightful task.

  20. @BKK Blue
    Have you forgot that the ideal woman is a CEO in the board room,a whiz in the kitchen, a lady in the living room and a whore in bed? While a male is to be a A Brute!

  21. Blue (balls on your man probably)
    Naah, I’m just kidding Blue. Please understand that it’s not ALL Western women that men are upset with. You must admit that here are a lot of beeyatches out here (I’m back in LA right now) and men don’t know about any other options than being stressed out by a beaitiful ‘witch of the west ‘and then dying of a heat attach at 50 to leave her everything. I love blondes, (I think I’m over it now, though) but AlLL of the ones I’ve dated were a bit off in the emotional/mental area. It’s just abit easier to deal with asian women because of the cultural differences. Many men get tired of the chase and games and many having never enjoyed the company of an ‘exotic’ just say the hell with it and forsake Western women as a whole. You being mad that Western men being smitten with Asian women in Bangkok is like me going to an Elton John concert and getting mad that he didn’t play any Hip-Hop songs. Un-effin-neccesary.

    To each their own, so stop being mad at the kid that likes mango sorbet instead of french vanilla. That is all.

    JJ

  22. Hi BBK Blue,

    72 comments, and the number is increasing daily. Obviously you have hit a nerve!

    What I like about your post is that apparently you can still see some good in everyone:

    you mention the courage of the Western women that has benefited women and men all over the world,

    the Thai men with their devotion to their parents and families,

    the Thai women with their ability to teach you something valuable from their culture like “jai yen”, or “kreng jai”.

    I think that is the crucial point of the whole thing: “there is good and bad in everyone”*; nothing is perfect in this world; it’s up to us to make the best out of the situations we are confronted with.

    Chok dee khrap!

    *”Ebony And Ivory live together in perfect harmony
    Side by side on my piano keyboard oh lord why dont we?
    We all know that people are the same where ever you go
    there is good and bad in everyone
    we learn to live we learn to give each other what we need to survive together alive” Paul McCartney

  23. Well done for writing such an interesting and thought provoking article. That really set the dogs among the cats. I’ve been reading BK Dees for a few weeks. I really like the exchange. It got loads of people going. I only read it today. This is the best so far. Are you still in Thailand?

  24. A lot of mates are women. Have been, hopefully will always will be. I treat them like my men mates. Same topics, same talk. Respect.

  25. This is an interesting article, I have absolutely nothing against modernisation and womens rights, however when the rights start to affect the pillars of good family morales and respect I do. Historically tradition held that the man would go out and bring back the bread, if he did not then that would be a sign of weakness which made him even more prepared to work harder and make more sacrifices to earn. In return for the mans persistence in his hard work and extra effort to earn the bread the lady would do her wifely domestic duties, ensuring her man was happy after his hard day, the wife would have financial security, honour from her husband, a father to her children, a protector for the family. The man would have happiness and contentment from when he finished his hard days work, and whats more he would look forward to getting home. I believe this was the glue that held many a marriage through the years, sure they probably felt like things were unfair at times (on both sides) but with the general values and expectations they at least had a bench mark to work towards and level things back out…..now after the after shock of womens rights in western society….well, what can I say?……..it really has been taken too far. The world is a mess, families are broken around every corner, people are looking around and all they can see is children that would be better off thrown into a jail cell from birth, husbands and wifes that are so busy playing a power game with each other, basically fighting over who will do the least work in the relationship because they are so worried that it makes them look like the weaker sex to anyone observing their relationship from the outside, respect is absent, following on is unhappiness then divorce or affairs. Sure I know many people that are happy but I know much more that arent really sure what the hell they are in the relationship for at all. There is the reason of love but love can become hate if it is abused. The way Thai ladies are (traditionally) is a fundamental corner stone to keeping their husband happy, and he will return it in many more ways, many traditional ladies appreciate and respect this and as much as the ‘new age’ strong women hate to hear it, yes it works, if you want a family to bring kids up in you do need a man, he will respect you alot more if you cook, clean, treat him with respect and generally stop trying to be a man yourself. I really can not see the logic in going against what will make your man happy?…for what…to prove a point? to win a battle?…..well when the men all dis-appear and start to meet women from asia, africa, eastern europe and other countries where the traditional values are still held and you are left with the beer swigging, louts that smack you about or just sit around claiming off the dole are the only ones left maybe then you will realise it is not about winning a way of life it is more about preserving the right one, one that everyone can be happy in. This is what makes people disgusted with some (not all) western women when they go to countries like Thailand, what they are showing of the western culture is that the west no longer has any culture, frame work, traditions, compassion or even the intelligence that men sometimes, actually like their women to act in a stereotypical fashion of a lady…..that they are tampering with beauty itself and turning it into something very ugly indeed.

  26. There is something called social progress. Women were forbidden to work and in the West legal chattel of their husband. The “traditional” marriage had many changes over the years. Today is a very different world.
    It is time to join the 2011 not 1811!!
    Many new couples work (most in the US). There has to be change which may be uncomfortable for those wishing to hold on to the past.

  27. Vasha, thanks for your comment it is appreciated. Unfortunately my article is about how things are now and how they were and how much more stable marriages and morales were. If we were back in 1811 we wouldnt be having this debate. There does have to be change but it seems the changes have stirred the mud from the lake and some women are trying to call it chocolate….”roll your sleeves up and do what is just for the sake of marriage”…that applies to both sexes. Im not on about taking things to extremes. Just observing what was and what is….to blame men for doing wrong when wishing a little bit of respect from his wife when he is giving it is a bit unfair dont you think?… Viewing it from only one side is not a good perception to take, try to be equivocal. If a women can file for divorce because his man cheats then why not let a man file for divorce with his wife is she does not work? Mens values are not always the same as Womens after all.

  28. I myself think that the old gender roles need to be gone in a high tech society. For many men being treated as a king in his castle is fine. That is why they are more likely to choose Thai women as they will except in the elite get more strokes that in a similar western setting and less ageist prejudice. However there is a price to pay. No matter which society one is in there are costs that must be balanced to gain. I am in the US no reason is necessary for divorce and pre-nuptial agreement are enforced here, Unlike the EU we do have better protection. It is because males are so self serving as individual and not as a group the the bad laws (anti-male) are enacted.
    The rule is keep you friends close and your enemies closer and never trust ever!

  29. I see Vasha, I do not know your past but it sounds to me like you are speaking very subjectively as opposed to objectively about this debate. I am from Scotland and the laws are different so I can not comment too much about US law to be honest but I have always thought it was a bit extreme over there, from what I have heard more people tend to hide behind the law as opposed to acting like a grown up and simply doing what is the right thing to do. If both parties put a little more in and had more respect for each other I expect the laws would more than likely be less necessary but that is just my opinion.

  30. The laws here depend on the state. There are community property state where (supposed) property is to be divided 50/50 the others vary widely even from county to county depending on the judge. Hollywood divorces should not be counted because of the geometric income differential.
    Right thing? That supposes there is a “right thing”. The idea is to win. And come out of the divorce with a shirt on your back. Respect is very subjective and cause for great disagreement.
    However, I do not know what the society or family law is in Scotland. Without that knowledge it is difficult to say.

  31. In my opinion , Thai culture seems to be quite impressive and shares lot of similarities with other Asian cultures in terms of the concept of collectivist society , strong family values , respect & consideration for one’s parents & elders and sacrificing ones happiness for the sake of a higher goal ie . one’e own family.
    And thus , these values get manifested in the behavioural pattern and social conditioning of Thai women.
    Well , I think that western women need to learn more from Thai women rather than the other way around . I am not against liberated women but if the definition of emancipation of women in west means indulging in abusive behaviour both verbal & physical even on the slightest provocation against one’s own family members , high risk adolescent behaviour which leads unwanted teenage pregnancies in school , substance abuse in the name of experimentation & freedom , low tolerance threshhold then we need to reconsider some of these aspect of so called liberation for westerners & western women.
    Please dont get me wrong most of the above stated behavioural patterns apply to both men & women and are equally wrong irrespective of the gender of the person(s) involved .
    Its more to do with the social conditioning and values that are imparted in Asian societies vis-a-vis their western counterpart(s).

    Have a look at the divorce rate of USA (higher than 50%) as against those of some of the Asian countries including Thailand .( though most of the people marry out of love in west instead of any sort of arrangement made by their parents as in India & some other asian societies & even then the love disappears after few years of wedding while the institution of arranged marriage has stood its ground in India where love follows marriage & not vice versa) As we know , infidelity among both men & women is one of the leading causes of divorce in west .
    I am from India and the divorce rate here is around 1 % while a decade ago it was less than 0.5 % in . It is not just because of the social stigma attached to divorce but also because women are taught & know that once thay get married they are supposed to love & respect their husbands ( just as Indian husbands have to love their wives ) but also their parents-in-law , brothers & sisters-in-law & have to share a lot of things with them.
    Thus , we have joint families (or multigeneration families as they are called in west ) have existed in India. West & (some of the strongly influenced by west ) asian socities fancy the concept of individuality & self identity & freedom to such an extent that staying with parents once you become adults is frowned upon and thus western women are conditioned into ‘not’ sharing their husbands with rest of his family members , forget about serving ones parents-in-law.
    Parents don’t have any say in the lives of their children once they leave high school , even the most important matters of life like choosing one’s own life partner is considered to be too personal to allow for any parental guidance & consent ( I mean most of the parents give their entire lives to their children atleast that what happens in India & even Thailand , I believe & after all this they can’t even guide their own children to make such an important life altering decision in west ).
    The Hollywood movies like Monster-in-law ( I agree uses situations of exaggerated humour to present itself as a light hearted movies ) may go down well with western sensibilities as they have made taking that kind of audience & culture in mind but are found repulsive by people of many otehr asian societies.
    It shows a so called western liberated woman played by ‘ J lopez ‘ who can’t tolerate some of the pranks faced by her mother -in-law ( I know the mum-in-law has had multiple marriages as mentioned in the movie ) who doesn’t want a dog walker to be the wife of her highly qualified son ( a surgeon in the movie ) and thus resorts to even slapping her own mum-in-law after a heated arguement ( yes , mum in lwa didn’t approve of her , did a few things like mixing something in food to cause her daughter-in-law peanut allergy before the wedding day , but even then expressing one’s anger by hitting the mom-in-law is totally out of question ) . How obnoxious ! People might argue that Monster-in-law is just a light hearted movie & is not to be taken seriously but the very concept of such shockingly rude & low class behaviour being passed of as humour for an American audience shows a very strong contrast between western and Asian sensibilies & values . In many of the Asian societies , this sort of humour might be distasteful as one’s elders , parents & parents-in-law are held in high regard and though that in no way implies dictatorial authority over the life of their adult offsprings & their life partners , but it certainly implies that parents & a woman’s in laws can sometimes make decisions which might not go well with plans with their lives of their offsprings and may be a liitle rude , but to reciprocate thair behaviour with negativity is very wrong . This is wherein the beautiful eastern values like Thai buddhist philosophies , confucian chinese values of filial piety ( please read the 24 pillars of filial piety , google it and read it , an eye opener for people of other cultures ) and Indian hindu ethics among several others guide us.

    I gave significant attention to Indian cultural ethics & values too as they have deeply influenced Thailand over a span of hundreds of years ( though many people might not recognize it on surface , google it & learn for yourself )

    So , while being a career oriented independent self respecting western woman is admirable but ruining family realtionships , disrespecting one’s parents & in laws, attempting to steal way your husband from his lovely parents & then whining & adressing him as a mama’a boy on being unsuccessful in your attempts , , becoming alcoholic or indulging in substance abuse ( just as a part of your campaign to build an egalitarian society , if men can do it why can’t women , agreed but if a practice like this is wrong for men then it also wrong for women, so why mindlessly ape the wrong & evil practices of a few men when you can stay away from them and show that you truly belong to the fairer sex ) picking up fights with your husband’s family just because the concept of adjustment with in-laws sounds & saving face ( a thai cultural virtue ) sounds alien to you – all in this the name of liberation is certainly questionable.

    Cultivating a slightly more lady like grace & charm ( which has surely has been a part of western culture for ages but somehow is being lost in oblivion , the values of forgiveness , respecting your life partner’s family for he had a family long before you met him & his parents have done things for him that you might never be able to do for him even in lifetime ( depends ) , a little bit of more sharing & care can make world a better place to live in.

    Believe me Asian women are highly self respecting but they don’t want to be too “liberated”at the expense of their own values and putting their relations at stake
    because they means a world to them.
    Its sad that this is fast changing in Thai society where the western values are rapidly replacing the traditional values which laid so much stress on an ever pleasing smiling countenance , saving face & avoiding confrontation
    ( mai ben rai attitude ), respect for one’s own family & also its ancesters and enduring a little discomfort for the larger good ( one’s own family & society ).

    I don’t know if the article carried a slightly harsh overtone for I had no intention of offending the sensibilities ( for very culture has both its positives & negatives ) but my only desire was to shed light on certain beautiful values which are losing their ground in today’s ‘modern’ world .
    A little eastern touch & flavour , may be , is all we need.

  32. In continuation with my previous comments , I would like to add a few more interesting points here. Please ignore a few spelling mistakes that I made in my previous feedback.

    Traditionally Asian societies like Thai , Indian , Chinese societies have always respected women and family. They have considered women to be the cornerstone or the pillar of strength of the family unit . So , with such great emphasis laid on the position of woman in the family system , certain responsibilies and duties are expected to be performed by women . Please don’t get me wrong , its highly appreciable that today’s modern woman has right to all the opprortunities that life provides in equal measure , their role as company’s CEOs of big companies , state heads etc. is highly appreciated but this is something that has been around for a while now ( for example our first lady prime minister was elected in years ago 1966 and was highly respected as a PM, there was some controvery but that doesn’t have anything to do with her being a woman so I am not discussing it here and then there are several such examples ) .
    We need to understand that we shouldn’t mingle the concepts : being an independent , well educated , career oriented , brave woman is entire different from the concept of ” liberated ” woman (the word ‘ liberated ‘as it means today in west and also increasingly in many other cultures across Asia including Thailand ) .
    An emancipated woman can also respect her family and uphold its honour and there is nothing wrong in doing so.
    So , please all the feminist organisations need to understand one thing for sure : don’t try to alienate the concept of emancipation of women from the concept of performing family duties & respect for oneself & others. Both can surely go together and there is no harm in it.
    The problem arises only when we think about the two concepts in isolation as majority of western women or so called ” modern ” women in other cutures have been conditioned to believe. ( I am using the term ‘modern’ in jocular sense here for modernity needn’t be defined at the expense of one’s values & ethics ) .
    Western women might be even more appalled at the thought of residing in India than in Thailan as in India they might experience a different sociocultural environment.
    The way we define love & family here is far removed from rapidly spreading western philosophy and the notion of it. For westerners , family is means husband , wife and their unmarried school going kids living under one roof for even the kids leave after high school. Similarly , in the western world the love of a wife for her husband can only be sustained if the all the responsibilies are shared in equal measure by both the partners ( like business partners who have have 50:50 share ) ie. both have to perform all the household chores , the husband is expected to cook and clean dishes along with his wife so the inability of the husband to make any such adjustments like the ones mentioned above are frowned upon and can at times , open up the gate to divorce ( and this is when the concept of serving and looking after the husband’s parents / grandparents & his siblings is nonexistent in western culture and the only adjustment a woman needs to make is with regard to her husband ) .
    You can compare this situation to the family system of India where both kinds of families exist : nuclear & joint ( or multigenerational as westerners like to call them ) . In Indian joint family , a married woman has to share space & make adjustments not only with her husband , own children ( which I hope won’t be aproblem for any women but if it is then god help ! ) , his parents ( treat them as your own & with even greater respect ) , his grandparents , maybe great grandparent (s) too ( if alive ) , his brother(s) and their wives ( the the wife of husband’s elder brother has to be treated with more respect & dignity for she is elder ) , his nephews & nieces who could even be in their teens or older &
    his unmarried sisters ( who obviously leave once they get married as daughters become a part of their husband’s family after marriage , also the husband’s sisters they have to be highly respected by all the daughters-in-law of the house , old & newly arrived alike ) .
    The authority of decision making lies with the patriarchal head of the family and his wife ( usually the parents/ grandparents of the man ) . These kind of households still exist in big urban cities of India though sadly they numbers are dwindling as the selfcentred behaviour , low tolerance & adjustment levels , ingratitude towards one’s own parents are spreading rapidly under the
    disguise of western values of self identity , independence , self reliance & personal/individual freedom and right to self expression . These values are not wrong but to pass off the negative human values under the garb of modernity & something positive is absolutely wrong and people are using these beautiful notions to shirk their duties & responsibilies towards their parents & other family members. To be self reliant & independent doesn’t imply abandoning one’s parents and being less concerned for them.
    Alas ! Westerners won’t understand it.
    In west , a boy might get paid by his dad if he washes his dad’s car for any service offered to to one’s parents or other family members is valued in terms of monetary units by the boy rather than in terms of selfless love & concern.
    So , while it is absolutely fine in west to leave one’s parents as adults & there is nothing wrong in living with one’s girlfriend , this behaviour is looked down upon in India as highly disgraceful & selfish.
    Sons & then their wives are supposed to respect , love , obey & serve the parents , only daughters are supposed to leave after their wedding & become a part of a different household ( ie. their husband’s family’s )
    Thus , western women are used to living with their husbands/bfs that too not for longin many cases before an impending divorce/break up , in isolation from his family and will find the task of even staying with their husband’s family ( let alone serving & helping her in-laws) extremely daunting and troublesome
    ( in addition to an encroachment their right to privacy ) for they believe that they belong to the ‘ liberated creed ‘ of women. So , do western men ,as living with parents as adults is despised in their society.

    Western women may find these cultural practices and notions of family love as shocking & suffocating but they should refrain from enforcing their ideologies as acceptable practices on the people of Thailand & many other , if not all , Asian countries because what they feel is right may not be correct.

  33. It sounds like it must be rather difficult trying to set up a family in that part of the world. Even still, in Scotland, the laws on equality and family matters are still developing e.g. rights for same-sex couples to get married.

    Best wishes, Family Law Edinburgh

  34. My hat comes off to you India…..very concise, very true and very objective. Took the words from my thoughts exactly.

    All the best.

    Len.

  35. @Lenard Thanks for the compliment . Its truly inspiring that you share the same thoughts as mine.
    I hope all other visitors to this site do understand this point of view.

  36. i live in bkk
    if some women they want to have good sex with me so please
    call me any time
    0817100125

  37. Hi BKK Blue. I’m a Western woman married to a Thai man for 7yrs now. I’d really like to get to know other women in my situation. If you know of any, please introduce us…narmtal(at)yahoo(dot)com(dot)au

  38. wow, this is a sad but true story.
    i guess theres a lot of women getting hurt on both sides, western and thai.
    im not sure if this is about equal rights so much but some men behave very selfish and your conclusion they might be payed off with loneliness at a certain time of their life sounds like the right conclusion to me.
    hedonistic ways wont bring the satisfaction they actually looking for i believe.

  39. Having lived here for 5 years, I think you described it perfectly. I am an Western Asian-looking woman and I get enough attention from men here, but I don’t respect Western men as I used to. As soon as they arrive in Thailand, they become little spoiled boys and throw their norms and values overboard.
    All I can say is that Thai women don’t say and don’t show what they really think and feel. Only to their girlfriends. And I can tell you, sometimes their looks are prettier than what they say about their “soulmate”. Mai phen rai, kha, as long as they show their gentle feminine side to the man, right?

    I am in my early 30’s, and I see a brighter future for me in the West, both professionally as privately. I have lived in Thailand as a nun, but now I am dating again, with a guy my age. No, not with a khonfarang in Thailand, but someone who still sees a woman as a person, not as a doll.

    I think a single Caucasian Western woman has to be very strong when living in Thailand. A lot of “Jake Dangers” in Thailand…

    And regarding to Indian’s posts: It may be true in the past and in theory, but don’t forget: times are changing… especially in cities…

  40. This is still true for the contemporary Indian society and some other Asian societies today (in the big cities).
    I know it’s very difficult for westerners to fathom this concept because they might have read about in books only as a practice prevalent in far-off land ( & hence it is being termed as being ‘true in theory’ ) and never seen it being parcticed in their surroundings.

    This is very much a practical concept here.

    American media personality ‘Oprah Winfrey” recently visited India and was in awe by the Indian multigenerational family system and even remarked that this country (India) has no respect for nursing homes (or assisted care for the eldery) because Indians really look after their parents as their parents have done for them and don’t consider them as a burden.

    Changing times does imply a shift in values but that shift doesn’t necessarily have to be negative.

  41. Oh whatever happened to BKK Blue? Had a rant – didn’t get immediate support, didn’t like what was being said? Made no effort to understand an alternative but perfectly valid perspective/s. Left in a huff spouting derogatory comments? Gee, why am I not surprised that this ambassador for western women in Thailand would choose to act in this manner. Let’s recap & analyse her final spits of viriol:

    “It’s weird that with so many guys on this website who are so uninterested in farang women, this post still got 69 comments so far. hahah! ”
    # We’re only disinterested in terms of possible relationships. We live in hope that we can get you (and people) like you to understand and respect our perspective on this issue

    Anyway, I’m leaving this conversation because there’s nothing left to say. You guys can go on being nasty and hateful to each other, you do it so well on this website.
    # ah the farang women’s ultimate comeback on any form of criticism … the men offering their perspective are hateful, nasty and/or misogynistic… there could not possibly be any truth is what we say because the modern woman can do no wrong

    Rio, you want a woman to make you feel comfortable and aroused, well it sounds like you need a whore-cum-mother-cum-servant girl, I’m sure you’ll find her. I’m interested in real partnerships, I guess that’s more than you can deal with, if you even k now what it means.
    #aha the western woman’s concept of partnership is “you give me what I want because I deserve it, and don’t insult me by expecting me to meet any of your needs because men are just animals and your needs are wrong and/or of far lesser value than ours”

    Jay, wow, that puss boy theory is soooo smart. You smart man AND sexy man!! Why don’t you take your advice to Oprah since it’s so good. Or else you can shove it you know where. Sure you’ll also find an assistant to help you in that delightful task. in this manner?
    # can’t be bothered to think about what is being said or (heaven forbid) empathise, so employ childish put-downs and insults to ‘settle’ things and have the ‘last say” coz that’s so important isn’t it?

    Enjoy where-ever you are princess. Don’t worry about us, we’ll do just fine without you 🙂

  42. Oh how cute… poor wittle baby is jealous of Thai women.

    Maybe if you western women weren’t such rotten subhumans, men wouldn’t be rejecting you for Asian women, who are 1000 times better than you?

  43. Asian seeks a nice Caucasian lady for romance in Thailand

    Me, an Asian guy, 30 yrs young, 183CM, 70Kg, handsome as they claim, healthy as I could ensure, educated, financially independant, sincere, speak 5 languages including English and Thai (the 6th one could be doggy barking for which everyone here could make correct voice, I guess), based in Bangkok.
    If you get disgusted for a self-introduction of this kind I just feel sorry for you. But there is nothing more I can do, since the etiquette of self-boasting should not be skipped, especially in a public forum such as this one, a most famous expat dating site of international level.
    Please allow me to cut short to the point: in the past several years,I have gradually developed a strong and steady desire to befriend a nice Caucasian lady for romance, and better still for long-term relationship.
    I think Caucasian ladies are the most beautiful creature, and there is a mixture of charm and elegance in them, which really touches my heart.
    I do not dare to say this to a lady in person, because I could get very nervous facing a beauty. So I am happy to post my desire here, hehe. Thanks to this forum and wish the forum owner a long life of million years full of love.
    For a greatest possibility of such a great rommance, I decide not to impose any restrictions on her location. The angel could be located anywhere in Thailand, as long as she is not in heaven. AirAsia or NokAir is ready to deliver me right into the angel’s arms, just like the scene from my day dream. Or a tuk-tuk could do the job, even though its 3rd spare tire will also get blown off.
    When the angel, the nice Caucasian lady, find herself ready to get on an adventure of everlasting happiness, I hope she will not be so excited that she forgets to write to her future servant(or owner in such a romance) at dreamworld922@hotmail.com

    Regards,
    MK, the Provider of Everlasting Happiness Found in Thailand

  44. Asian seeks a nice Caucasian lady for romance in Thailand
    (updated version)
    Me, an Asian guy, 30 yrs young, 183CM, 70Kg, handsome as they claim, healthy as I could ensure, educated, financially independant, sincere, speak 5 languages including English and Thai (the 6th one could be doggy barking for which everyone here could make correct voice, I guess), based in Bangkok. You see, all good things. It is difficult to find nice words to describe others, but it is never easier to flatter oneself.
    If you get disgusted for a self-introduction of this kind I just feel sorry for you. But there is nothing more I can do, since the etiquette of self-boasting should not be skipped, especially in a public forum such as this one, a most famous expat dating site of international level.
    Please allow me to cut short to the point: in the past several years,I have gradually developed a strong and steady desire to befriend a nice Caucasian lady for romance, and better still for long-term relationship.
    I think Caucasian ladies are the most beautiful creature, and there is a mixture of charm and elegance in them, which really touches my heart.
    I do not dare to say this to a lady in person, because I could get very nervous facing a beauty. So I am happy to post my desire here, hehe. Thanks to this forum and wish the forum owner a long life of one million years full of love.
    For a greatest possibility of such a great rommance, I decide not to impose any restrictions on her location. The angel could be located anywhere in Thailand, as long as she is not in heaven. AirAsia or NokAir is ready to deliver me right into the angel’s arms, just like the scene from my day dream. Or a tuk-tuk could do the job, even though its 3rd spare tire will also get blown awy, after swimming across Chaopya river, rushing onto the Intanon peak, nose-diving to Golden Triangle, and a final U-turn to Hatyai. A route of romance indeed.
    When the angel, the nice Caucasian lady, finds herself ready to get on an adventure of everlasting happiness, I sincerely hope she will not be so excited that she forgets to write to her future servant(or owner in such a romance) at dreamworld922@hotmail.com

    Regards,
    MK
    the Provider of Everlasting Happiness Made in Thailand(hand made)

  45. Wow, I never thought of this site s a dating site, there are plenty on the web…search out dude!

    If you are what you say you are, why subject your self to the western woman abuse? (notice I say western not white) You are already calling yourself her “servant” and hence she has already claimed your balls and your freedom. You are looking for, I assume, “Caucasian lady for romance in Thailand” ….in Thailand??? are you nuts, there are but a few and they are probably hooked already…You may win the lottery faster than finding such a woman here.

    If you look as you say you do, you will have thousands of SE Asian women falling all over you, why look for something that will take half your assets in about 5 years and dump your Asian arse for another guy?

    Are you sure you like Caucasian women because they are beautiful and elegant or because you can’t get them easily hence you want them more? what is not so beautiful about Asian women? Yes, White, black, Latino and Asian women are all beautiful…but once you date a few, MOST real men will always go to Asian Ladies!!!!

    I have dated beautiful women of all colors and many races, I “CHOSE” to date and romance Asian women. They are the best ROI ever…(Return On Investment) where ROI with western women is ALWAYS negative….Wake up man!

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