To splice or not to splice? Read the previous post “Sucked In”. In my opinion, it’s best not to, but not all of my mates agree with that, so I’ve got some of them sitting here now with me to ask them their views and for their advice before giving my own. Surprisingly, some of them are really positive about splicing even though they’ve had some rotten experiences.
I’m not going to use their real names or the dates and places to save people from embarrassment, but if you’ve had a similar experience and would like to share, do write in. You’ll also want to express your opinions. Yes, please do that, too. It’s healthy. Last word, I’m also going to clean up the language, cut down on the verbiage, and take out the slang, so everyone can understand it. This will be a summary; and some parts of the conversation will be expunged. My mates will be reading this before it’s submitted to make sure they agree on the facts and they’re not going to be compromised.
Ok. I’ll get some of my mates to edit. But once, again I take full responsibility.
First on the spot, John. “Now John tell us about your experience, mate.”
John: “I don’t want to talk about my experience. It’s too painful and too embarrassing. I don’t want anyone to know about it, but I would like to give some advice. I don’t even expect blokes to take it. That’s up to them, too.I’m not going to tell blokes not to get married. That’s for them to decide. I don’t even want to turn this into a Thai vs the rest of the World thing, let alone Thai vs Farang. Anyone could have similar experiences in whatever country they’ve been too.”
Me: “Ok, John. What’s your advice?”
John: “Don’t marry a girl who’s beautiful, especially one who’s a lot younger than you and who’s more beautiful than you are handsome because a lot of men, both farang and Thai, will try it on with her, even your friends.She might be tempted, she might do something behind your back and she might leave you for one of them.”
Me: “Thanks, mate. So, another way of saying this is, marry a girl who you think is attractive, but not other blokes. Other blokes then, might find her unattractive, or mildly attractive, or even ugly. Is that right?”
John: “That’s it. You could put it that way.”
Me: “Anything else?”
John: “Not for now. Thank you.”
Me: I can see Mary wants to chip in here.
Mary: “That doesn’t just apply to men. That’s what happened to me. I kept a man. My own race and nationality. I was the bread winner. He was much younger than me, very handsome, a real stud. And the scoundrel went off with another woman.”
Me: “ Thanks for that, Mary. I’m sorry to hear that. This can happen to both men and women, then. Would you be prepared to get married again, Mary?”
Mary: “If the right man came along, but not another stud.”
Me: “Thanks for that contribution, Mary. Do you want to make a further comment?”
Skipper: “Frankly, I don’t agree. I’ve met a few chaps who have stunning wives. The men are nothing to look at, but they know how to make their wives happy; their wives love them and they have a really successful relationship. It’s pleasing to see. I’ve also seen handsome men with, frankly, awful looking women. They always seem like happy couples.”
Me: “What you’re saying then, Skipper is that there are exceptions. Or maybe, any ugly personage could keep a beautiful or handsome partner if they know how to keep them happy.”
Mary: “That’s rubbish. Are you suggesting I didn’t make him happy? Are you saying I’m a failure? I resent that.”
Frank: “I prefer lady-boys. I make no secret of it. I walk down the street with my partners. We often hold hands. A lot of people stare, but we ignore them. My partner looks proud and so do I. Most of my friends don’t like lady boys in that way but they still go out with me and my partners. I’ve had a lot of relationships and I’m in a happy one now. But, I had a really bad experience once. I dumped her and she managed to get me to pay her a huge amount of money. I didn’t expect that. I could afford it. I’m not short of money, but I didn’t like it.”
Me: “So, what you’re saying is, if you’re in a steady-married like relationship, whether with a woman or not, you could end up paying a handsome fortune once that relationship ends. And this doesn’t just happen in the West. Is that right, Frank?”
Frank: “Yes, exactly.”
Rick: “I wouldn’t want to be seen out with a lady-boy, but I have had a rumble with one or two. I like them for that.”
Steven: “I’ve read your article called “Sucked In”. I think we all have. I can understand where you’re coming from. I was ripped off. I was a fool. I let my lady have access to my bank account. I went off on an overseas business trip. When I came back, the whole lot had gone. She’d gambled it away. I still love her, though and can’t leave her.”
Me: “Do you still give her money to gamble, Steven?”
Beau: “I think I’m handsome. I’ve done a bit of modelling. I was in a relationship. I considered the lady to be my wife. I went overseas on a modelling assignment. On the way back, I was sitting next to someone who said he was an oil rigger. He looked really happy. I was bored and got talking to him. He pulled out a picture of his girlfriend. As soon as I saw it I nearly fainted. It was my so called wife.”.
Stella: “Hey, this kind of stuff doesn’t just happen here. You think it does because you’re here. Before I came here I was married to someone I trusted. Guess what? A couple of good friends came over for dinner. My husband and the other woman were in the kitchen. I was talking to her husband in the living room. I went to the kitchen, and I’m not going to tell you what I saw, but that was the end of our marriage. Yeah, I’m married again, but it took a long time before I could trust someone.”
Bella: “No, I don’t agree with you there, Stella. I lost my husband to an Asian woman. We’d been married for twenty years. I thought we had a really good relationship. I was happy and he was too. Then he met the other woman. That was the end of it.”
Mick: “I think Bella’s got a point. I much prefer Asian women, especially Thai women. But I’ve been screwed over a dozen times. I’m not an idiot but it’s happened too many times. My problem is I end up trusting them, giving them the benefit of the doubt. I’ve been let down though so many times. When I meet a new one I want to settle with I take them off to the hospital for STI checks. If they’re clean, and they always have been so far, we live together. What an idiot I’ve been. Really. Most of these affairs have ended up as disasters. One gave me an STI. She went off with a few guys behind my back: her ex husband, a mutual acquaintance…I trusted her. Like a fool I still wanted to keep her.”
Marti: “Oh no…I caught my wife in bed with my mate in (my country). We had a couple of kids; I thought we got on; I loved her; I thought she loved me; Ok, we had our problems; who doesn’t? I was a good provider and I’m good in the sack.”
Me: “Nut, May, Nid…what do you think? I know you’ve got strong opinions.”
Nut: “I live with a farang. I have a Thai boyfriend. I send him money. My farang “husband” doesn’t know I think, but if he does, he doesn’t show it or care. He goes off to bars. He met me in a bar. What does he expect? Would I prefer to be with my Thai boyfriend or my farang husband? Definitely my Thai boyfriend, but I get all my money from my farang husband. He’ll go off one day and leave me. He’s old anyway and could die at any time. When that happens, I’ll find another one”.
May: “I have a farang husband. As you know…Kevin. I’m proud of him and he’s proud of me. I love him. He loves me. I will never leave him. Anyway, I prefer farangs to Thai men. Thai men are so untrustworthy and useless.”
Kevin: “ I want to chip in there. I fully agree with what May says, except I’ve met a lot of really good Thai guys who don’t fit the usual stereotypic mould. They’re good men. And good for us too. I mean May and me. I don’t know whether we are the exception that proves the rule. Frankly, we don’t give a damn.”
Nid: “Personally, I would never be seen with farangs…no offence to the present company. People would look down on me. My husband is Thai. He has his women and I have my boyfriends. It works. That’s the way it is.”
Prim: “Hey, you didn’t ask me. I’ve never met a good Thai man. I’ve had lots of bad experiences. I thought farangs would be better, but I’ve never met a good one so far.”
Me: “Tony and B, what do you want to say?”
Tony: “No comment in the present company. You already know.”
B: “Hergh, hergh…”.
Me: “OK. I think I know what you mean B. Thanks mates. You’ve been a real blessing. God bless you for sharing.”
Well, I was going to write my own take on this, but listening to all of this has done my head in. I’ll give you my take later in the week. My mates are now going to take me out for a handsome bit of grub and a glass or two. After all this, we deserve it. They’re calling me. OK, mates. Cheers then.