My Love Affair With Thailand Part IV by Inspector Cowboy

I love the smells and sounds of Thailand. There is an ever present aroma of cooking, ginger, chilli, garlic and other exotic herbs and spices along with grilling meat and fish and the sounds made by the constant drumming of the som tam pot. I find it mesmerising and fascinating in equal measure. Soi Cowboy has its fair share of street food stalls catering for the girls and tourists hungry for food and fun.

I decided to get something to eat before embarking on an heroic bout of drinking. A barbecued meat stall selling the lollipop stick chicken and kebabs of pork was my first stop. I bought some pork and an omelette with some rice and then walked a little further down the soi for some slices of mango, in all costing me a little over a pound and jolly good value. I sat down outside one of the many go-go bars and ordered a Heineken from a solidly-built young lady who had the strong features of Issan and the eyes of somebody who had probably seen too much in her short life. As usual I had bought far too much food for myself and asked if she would like to share as she delivered my drink. Smiling she accepted my offer of a ladydrink and pulled up a chair to begin tucking into our evening meal. Her English was pretty good and her smile was dazzling. She had a sort of effervescence about her which I have since found many Thai girls have and is absent from girls in the west. This effervescence is difficult to define or describe but is unmistakeable when you see it. Her name was Tuk and she originated from Udon Thani, a place I had never previously heard of. She kept leaving our table outside the go-go in order to serve customers but her friend had emerged from the darkness inside the go-go to lend a hand. Tuk, like most Thai ladies, needed no excuse to smile. Her DNA was infused with happiness as she bounced around on her chair telling me about Udon Thani whilst crinkling her nose up in the way that Thai’s do which makes farang men go weak at the knees. Tuk wasn’t a classic beauty but had an aura that was deeply endearing. Already beginning to forget Nok I was taken with Tuk’s presence …… and her large firm breasts.

Even though it was barely an hour after leaving Nok’s bar I had done a lot of thinking and had suitably chastised myself for getting too emotionally attached to Nok. I needed to sort myself out and that meant finding another girl to act as a sticking plaster for my wounded pride.

Tuk was just finishing the last remnants of our evening barbecue when the thought crossed my mind that an ideal candidate for the sticking plaster was now smiling at me chewing some mango. I decided not to make any hasty decisions I might regret later and ordered another drink for myself and Tuk. Tuk’s friend had now taken over drink
delivery duties and brought us our drinks. She stopped to chat with us in between serving customers. It seemed Tuk and Meow were sisters although they looked anything but, Meow was slender and quite tall for a Thai girl and had Chinese/Thai features as opposed to Tuk’s northern Thai features. Anyway, sisters or not they made a very pleasant pair of drinking partners. The time passed as it does in Thailand with lots of laughter and very little else. Nok was well and truly pushed to the back of my mind and my attention was now fully on Tuk and Meow. They tried to persuade me to step inside the go-go bar but I was enjoying myself outside in the Bangkok night air. Besides what could possibly be better than enjoying a few drinks with a couple of lovely ladies on a warm Bangkok evening?

As the night wore on I felt the need to move on. I had meant to go to Clinton Plaza but as I was enjoying myself so much I dismissed that option but a change of bar was called for. I was enjoying myself with Tuk and Meow and didn’t want to leave them alone so I decided to take them with me. I asked them if they wanted to come and they seemed happy to do so. I paid the barfine and after a few minutes wait while they collected their bags and got changed we trooped off into the night. In fact we moved only a matter of yards before they spotted another sister/friend and we all plonked ourselves down outside another go-go.

This was exactly as I had pictured Bangkok and Thailand to be. Warm evenings, exotic ladies, the senses on fire and more fun than I could imagine. The only cloud on the horizon was my return to work but that could wait, I was living life and enjoying it without reservation for the first time in years. Life was good.

After a few drinks in Tuk and Meow sisters’ bar we ventured a few more doors down the soi and entered a go-go. Go-go bars have never been my thing, I find them too dark and restrictive with the music too loud for conversation. I enjoy conversation and being in the outdoors not in an anonymous room unable to speak. I was also with two very pretty young ladies, why would I want to sit around watching other ladies dance? Well, the entertainment wasn’t sliding up and down a pole, or female. The entertainment was some guy dancing. Not on the stage as is the norm for drunk farangs but at his table. He was obviously drunk or on drugs or both but he had an amazing ability to dance in a bendy toy kind of way. It was great fun to watch, Tuk and Meow thought it was entertaining too and applauded him with gusto as he was escorted from the premises by two serious looking heavyweight Thai door staff.

It was now getting late and Meow told me the bars would soon be closing. I didn’t want to leave for the hotel yet as I felt the night was still young so when Tuk suggested we went for some karaoke fun I immediately agreed. I still had a very recent memory of my first night in Bangkok where things had gone a bit strange so I had a fleeting moment of wariness but this soon passed as I jumped into the taxi at the end of Soi Cowboy. Thankfully we hadn’t hailed a Porntaxi as we weaved through the Bangkok night traffic heading for a karaoke bar. I sat in the back of the taxi with the girls who were in high spirits, as was I. After about 20 minutes we arrived in a small quiet anonymous soi, I paid the driver and entered what looked like the front door of a shop with huge blackout curtains. Inside was like entering the Doctor Who tardis, the place was packed with Thai’s all drinking and having fun. As far as I could see I was the only farang there but didn’t feel as if I was intruding on anybody’s territory. Nobody took any notice of me as we sat down with our drinks which was a good sign. I sat in the middle of the girls as they leant across me chatting in Thai probably discussing whether the farang would want to take one of them back to his hotel room later on during the night. I was just happy to enjoy my time and live in the moment.

It was soon the turn of Tuk and Meow to sing which they both did, serenading a rather embarrassed me with a Thai song. I hadn’t a clue what they were singing but it sounded nice – doesn’t anything spoken in the Thai language sound nice? The drinks were flowing and the time was getting on. I knew now the decision had to be made as to whether I would be taking a girl back to my room and if so, which one? They were both fun girls and attractive in very different ways, Tuk with her lovely smile, effervescent personality and large firm breasts or Meow with her quieter voice, slender body and beautiful eyes. I needed some quiet to help me make my decision so I excused myself to go to the gents. I knew that whatever decision I made I would immediately wish I’d chosen the other girl so I did it on the toss of a coin. Meow won so I returned to the girls to ask if Meow would come back to my room for the night. As I returned to my seat they both looked up at me with their happy faces and it was at that moment I said, “would you both like to come back to my room tonight?”. They smiled and nodded.

I hadn’t applied just a sticking plaster, I had applied a huge great plaster of paris cast.