I am African American and I just want to write about my experiences here in Thailand just to vent some of my many frustrations here. I guess I should tell you a little bit about myself first I am 26 years old university graduate from the Midwest, I first came to Asia as a Teenager the first country I went to was Japan and I loved it I had a lot of fun I found the people to be very friendly and helpful it was a good cultural exchange and I have many treasured memories from my experiences in Japan. I guess what brought me to Thailand is just seeing what else is out here and I don’t regret coming but I do have daily struggles with living here.
My first big hardship I had to overcome was securing work to be completely honest Thai people will not hire blacks it does happen from time to time but you have to knock on a lot of doors and I remember some days it was so depressing cause I felt like I was knocking forever. I can remember so many times calling schools and they would be so excited to hear my interest in the position I was always very confident talking over the phone but as soon as they would see me… If you are not white and you want to work in Thailand let me give you a tip look for white employers I was lucky and found another American who was running a English school here and he hired me and that’s how I was able to secure work.
Another one of my day to day problems is just self-esteem issues, back home I was a power lifter and a fighter so I have always been into taking good care of my body I don’t think I am handsome but I try but here I feel so ugly… I know it sounds kind of gay and kind of lame for me to say that but men do care how they look and every man wants to look their best, I live in Thailand now and when in Rome do as the Romes do. Sometimes I find myself asking myself if I should be using skin whiteners maybe that would make them value me more as a human being maybe that would make them see me as man. I can remember times walking around in the mall and I can over hear the Thai people talking about me they would say “what’s wrong with his hair”, “he’s so big”, and of course my favorite “I scared”… I hear comments like these often but what makes it all kinda funny is that I’m just as “dark” as one of them for being black my skin is light because my mother is Native American.
I have had good experiences with Thai people but even the good times aren’t all that good. I don’t have many opportunities to meet people when I have its usually at the gym I like to work out and I met a close friend their so for me the gym is always a good place for positive social interactions. I remember I met a guy at the gym, Thai guy real nice he’s in good shape and I don’t know how we got to talking but one day we did I remember we talked for like a hour about bodybuilding. I bumped into him again a couple of days later and this time we got to talking about movies and entertainment and this time we talked even longer then the last time… I didn’t see him for awhile after that but the next time we started talking are conversation was a lot more personal he started talking to me about his family and education and things of that nature and as usual we talked for a long time, I had so much fun talking to him I asked him for his number I figured we could go out and grab a bear and talk more about such things and he said no… We still talk and its always a pleasure he’s a very smart and insightful man but my relationship with him and all other Thai people are departmentalized meaning he only wants to be friends with me at the gym he would never want to spend any real time with me outside of that and that’s the way things are with every Thai guy I know…
Now on to the fun stuff and I’m sure this is what most of you want to hear. How often do I get laid? How often do I go out on dates? Do I have a girlfriend? Well I haven’t had sex in over a year and that’s putting it nicely and I haven’t been out on a date in more than two years and no Thai woman wants to get close enough to me to be my girlfriend. I don’t believe in prostitution and to be honest the racism I have experienced from Thai people has also made me racist as well I’m not up to dating or sleeping with a Thai woman given what they believe in which is I am shit because I am born I won’t do it. When I did date a Thai woman I felt like I was more of a accessory then a date the woman was deeply involved in the partying and rap music and I was a perfect fit for the image she was trying to portrayed which I found offensive as I consider myself a individual and I personally don’t like to party I can count how many times I go out in a year on both my hands.
I know what your thinking with all this BS why stay? Answers simple you can live like a king here on nothing I enjoy my life style its very relaxed and as much as the Thai people dislike me and hate me to be honest the feelings mutual. I’m sad to say that cause I wasn’t raised to be racist I wasn’t raised to believe in hate but this is what the people here project on me and I have to be thick skinned to make it the hate and frustration fuels me to get through the day sometimes… All that aside I again I want to say I do like it here I don’t want to offend anyone but truth be told I like Thailand the country I don’t really like Thai people.